[Iranian x Grey Wolf] Leilah

[Deleted]

OOC
Name: Joy (previously EJ)
Years RPing: Fourteen?
Other: I am dating the most handsome, sweet guy in the world<3
How You Found Us: I WAS QUESTING.

General
Name: Leilah
Birthday: January 9, 2012
Gender: Female
Species: Iranian x Grey Wolf

Physical
Height: 28”
Length: 49”
Weight: 95 lbs
Coat Color: A mix of creamy tans, light browns, and soft greys. She has a red snout, ears, and red on the top of her head between her ears.
Eye Color: Turquoise blue
Health Issues: None
Other Information: None

Mental
Mental Stability: Sane
History: Leilah was born the fifth in a litter of six. She had one older brother, one younger brother, and three older sisters. Her parents were completely devoted to one another, and to each of their pups. They were the proudest parents around. Nothing could be better. The siblings grew to love each other. Leilah was closest to Quin, her baby brother. He was mischievous—always running away and doing things they had been explicitly told not to—and Leilah always ran after him. They had such fun together. Her other siblings were June, Dingo, Kyra and Kira. Dingo was her brother. As it was, June and Dingo usually ran off together, tumbling about and play-fighting most of the time. Kyra and Kira always disappeared together, and no one ever really knew what they did. Leilah was suspicious that they looked at herbs, for they both adored plants, but she was never really sure. Soon, however, tragedy struck. When Leilah and her siblings were only six months old, their mother became very ill and passed away. Completely torn apart at the loss of his mate, their father became completely closed up inside of himself. He still hunted for his pups, but he didn’t do much else. June and Dingo left very soon after this event. Kyra and Kira began to be gone for long periods of time together, sometimes days or weeks. They would always return, but always shut Leilah out completely. The little pup was completely broken. She felt abandoned by her entire family, and yet she still fought to hold a relationship with each of her siblings that remained. Only Quin remained by her side. He kept her spirits up, and the two were inseparable throughout the rest of their childhood.

But childhood doesn’t last forever, and neither did Leilah’s. Before she knew it, Quin and she were a year old. At this point in time, their father left. One morning, Leilah awoke to find only herself, Quin, and her sisters Kyra and Kira. She called out for her father, and searched all morning, but to no avail. When she returned to the den site, Quin comforted her, but Kyra and Kira simply ran away themselves. They never returned. Fraught with depression and a strong sense of abandonment, Leilah ran away herself. Quin followed her, and comforted her, continuing to remain by her throughout her troubles. After time, she slowly got over the worst of the pain, and the two began to have fun together again. Leilah had never learned to hunt, and because of her emotional frailty, Quin was fearful of teaching her anything. So he simply hunted for the two, never imagining that a day would come where they would be separated. The two continued on like this for a year, playing every day, as Quin fought to keep his older sister’s emotions in check.

One day, however, the little female ran into a black male. He seemed so sweet, caring, and gentlemanly, and Leilah soon found herself anticipating him frequently. After several months, she could hardly be without him, and frequently found herself looking for him anywhere and everywhere. She fell for him quite hard, and thought that he loved her as well. But on fall evening, close to the close of the year, he approached her in a strange manner. She had no idea what was happening, but she could tell that he wasn’t himself, or that something was wrong. Thinking that something had happened, she only drew herself closer and closer, and eventually got too close. As it turns out, he had been planning such a thing from the start, and he used the opportunity to take advantage of her. He was big and strong, and she had no power to fight him. She convinced herself at the time that it didn’t matter, because she loved him. But afterwards, she was constantly plagued by nightmares, and shrunk from any physical contact, even the innocent contact of her younger brother. She had been lucky, however, and escaped without the burden of pups growing inside of her. Paranoid, she fled the area, wanting to put as much distance between her and the male whom she still loved as possible. Quin was unable to track her as she left in the middle of the night after awaking from a nightmare. She was still half-in the nightmare, and completely panicked, just began to run without even realizing that she was awake. When she became self-aware of herself, she realized that her brother was nowhere to be found. She searched for him for days, but had traveled quite a distance.

Luckily for the young female, two grey-colored she-wolves ran into her. They hunted for her, and when she asked for their names, they turned out to be Kyra and Kira, her lost sisters. Leilah was mixed with the utter loss of her baby brother, and sheer joy at the reuniting of her sisters. Her sisters apologized for their past behavior of discluding her from everything and pushing her aside and then abandoning her and Quin. They felt awful, and were pleased to hear that the two had survived well. Slowly, Leilah rebuilt her relationship with the two over the next year. Her sister Kira and she became very close. Kira taught her deep knowledge of plant life, and Leilah was the most devoted student. This was due, in part, to Kira’s absolute passion about it. Leilah had always wanted a closer relationship with her older siblings, and anything that presented her with the ability to spend more time with them was automatically interesting. But, as time went on, Leilah began to study outside of her sister’s teaching. She found many remedies before her sister taught them to her, and Kira was most pleased. The two became rather close, and eventually, Leilah disclosed all that had happened to her, and her feelings of abandonment and despair to her sister. Kira was mortified, and wanted to find the savage beast who had taken advantage of her sister, but Leilah prevented her, begging her to leave it lie. It depressed Kira that she had caused her sister so much pain, and she strove every day to prove that such a thing would never happen again.

By the time Leilah reached three years of age, she and Kira had become as inseparable as she and Quin had been. Kyra carefully guarded the two, and the three were a merry party. But happiness would never ensue the family, it would seem. For only a short time later—merely weeks—tragedy struck once more. Leilah was out studying herbal plants, when suddenly pain hit her neck. Shocked, she turned around, growling, but found no one around her. She was dazed and confused, and quickly began to lose control of her body. Panicked whimpering took hold of her as she crashed to the forest floor over and over, until her world became black. When she awoke, some sort of motion made her so sick that she threw up. Unsure of herself, she tried to stand. Her vision was blurry and so many unnatural sounds reached her ears. Thrown into absolute panic, she began whimpering pitifully as she slowly regained control of her body. Suddenly, she felt something ice cold pressed against her body. Jumping away from it, she banged her side into something else that was ice cold—and hard. Panic-stricken, she whirled around wildly, completely perplexed at finding herself in some sort of enclosure. Thick silver beams boxed her in, and a thin silver plate sat beneath her and above her. She couldn’t escape. Panic only rose higher and higher in her until it overwhelmed her mind. Her body shook with it. All she could think of was how to escape. She threw herself against her cage again and again, panic throwing away her sense of reasonability that deprived her of the obvious: she was trapped. There was no escape.

Unbeknownst to herself, her younger brother, Quin, had likewise been caught by humans. They both resembled the Iranian wolf more in appearance than the Grey wolf, and had been taken by humans to be relocated to America for reproduction, as the Iranian wolf was slowly being killed off. But Leilah was unaware of this fact. She had no idea that she was on a ship that was sailing across the sea. All she knew was that she couldn’t see Kyra or Kira anywhere, and the motion that had made her spill her stomach’s contents upon regaining consciousness pursued her. She began hyperventilating, and produced short, panicked barks in quick succession as a result. It made her light-headed, and before she knew it, she had lost consciousness once more. The next time she awoke, she found water surrounding her. Water was something she knew how to handle. Her cage had been smashed, and she squeezed through the small gap that had been created, finally free. Somehow, her survival mode kicked in, and overpowered her panic that was slowly rising once more in her. She managed to navigate her way upwards until she could see something besides the man-made products and structures of the ship. She simply followed the source of the water. As soon as she got to the top, she saw at least a dozen strange-looking creatures, which traversed on two legs rather than four. She was tempted for only a moment to observe them, before she leapt over the side of the boat, swimming strongly—due solely to adrenaline—towards a land mass in the distance. She arrived on Anikira a few hours later, washing up on the Aleisul Crossing between Tas’alea and Anikira. Collapsing from sheer exhaustion, she passed out immediately upon reaching land.

Personality: Leilah is a complicated mess of fur and bones. She is a complex puzzle: a rubix’s cube. She has a very sweet, caring heart. She absolutely loves helping others, and if she had had a proper childhood, she would have been the most altruistic girl to walk the planet. She has a very natural magnet towards anyone in pain, and even if she has never felt that particular pain before, or experienced it herself, she can feel it keenly solely based on another’s pain and explanation of the situation. She is very sensitive to others, and truly has a heart for helping others. She is a very good listener, and does not mind simply listening to another as they vent their feelings, struggles, or pain for any length of time.

Leilah is also somewhat of a wolf-pleaser. She dislikes any situation where she is not liked, and will consequently sometimes do something that makes her uncomfortable just to remedy the situation. Or to please another. Because of this, she is often taken advantage of: others will trespass upon this kindness and abuse it, and Leilah will be unaware of this until it becomes blatantly obvious. Leilah happens to have a major inferiority complex, placing little self-worth in herself. Anyone who shows remote interest in her becomes a friend in her mind, and anyone who continues to give her attention and devote time to her only grows dearer and dearer in her heart. She feels completely unworthy of any sort of good, healthy, long-lasting relationship. This all stems from the domino abandonment of her family as a pup. It placed a thought deep within her subconsciously: I’m not good enough. That’s why they left. And she hated herself for losing the one wolf who persisted in staying with her: Quin. She constantly punishes herself for this, and blames herself for her family all running away. It’s a thought that remains so deep within her that it is unshakable, and she is not even consciously aware that it is there.

Also resulting from her family’s abandonment, as well as her love’s abuse of her, she has some very severe trust issues. She does befriend others easily, and will dote on those friends with the utmost loyalty, but it takes her a very long time to disclose anything that really matters to her. The only two wolves that know her inside out are her brother, Quin, and her sister, Kira. No one else does, and it will remain this way for quite some time. She is easy to befriend, but very hard to win over. Even after you have proved yourself trustworthy to the utmost, her subconscious mind will doubt. And any neglect or prolonged absence will only throw her into confusion and terrible pain. She will automatically begin to question whether or not she is about to be abandoned again, and will initially begin to cling to the individual. If she is ignored, her walls will completely come back up—if they have been broken down at all—and she will subconsciously cut herself off from that wolf in order to protect her. She will simply become more distant and disinterested. And it will only take twice as long for that wolf to regain whatever they had, before they can progress further into her heart.

Once you have a place in her heart, though, you had better be careful. For she is very sensitive, and is quite good at reading distaste for herself in others. Leilah will forgive one’s actions more times than she should—you will have to regain her trust, but she will forgive you and give you another chance—but when she’s done, she’s done. Once you’ve crossed that line, there’s no going back. As of yet, only one, single wolf has ever crossed that line.

As for developing anything more emotionally bonding than friendships, Leilah is extremely stand-off-ish towards. Once again, this is more of a subconscious guard that her mind has built to protect her heart from further damage. She is extremely sensitive to physical touch, and greatly distrusts it, always shrinking away from it and flinching. One way to actually see her angry is to push this boundary. Having a mate is something that she deeply longs for, but because of her severe trust issues, any male who seems remotely trustworthy or gentlemanly automatically makes her seal off her heart from him. Any male who does not act this way is generally viewed as more trustworthy in her eyes. Somehow she has a backwards view of males. Because of her previous experience, she thinks that anyone who acts gentlemanly is only putting up a façade to trick her, and is really only planning on using her. And consequently, she views any wolf that is outwardly rude as really very sweet, caring, and gentlemanly on the inside. She thinks that he only acts the way he does because he can’t trust his heart in another’s care as well. Truly, she longs for the perfect gentleman, but is more drawn to the “bad boys” because she thinks that they are the true gentlemen, and only outwardly act out to protect their hearts.

So much could be said of this complicated, broken little she-wolf. But the main thing to remember is this: don’t break her heart.

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