☾ no sudden movements [open] ☽

[Messoria]

In the beginning, during the rare moments that she found herself alone, Messoria allowed herself to grieve for her daughters. They were not dead – not that she knew, anyways, but the mother did not like to think of that – and yet they were not with her, either. It was when she lay in the dark recesses of the cavern at night, or when she enjoyed a solitary swim, that she allowed herself to think of them. And she allowed herself to worry. Morrigan and Nimue had departed from Ina’mos some time ago, and there was not a day that passed when Messoria did not think of them. She did not mope in public; no, the Consort could not allow herself to be seen as weak, and so if anything she had become fiercer, more regal, more everything that showed she was strong. But in her heart of hearts, Messoria knew she could not forget the daughters born of her first litter. She knew very well what became of those branded as traitors to Kairos. She knew that she would have more sons, more daughters. And she knew that there was little she could do except vow to remember, and allow herself her private moments to miss them.

It got easier, with time, and yet harder at the same time. Easier because her thoughts were often consumed with her sons, who would soon depart for the agoge, and Fawn, her remaining daughter who was blossoming into a beautiful femme. Harder because she found that she blamed herself for their departure. Perhaps if she’d been a sterner mother, despite the fact that she’d been far from compliant, things might have ended differently. Messoria knew, of course, that the blame was placed upon her shoulders by herself and no others, and yet still. It would be different with her future children; it would be different, even, with her current.

Tonight, the Consort did not wish to think of such things. The cool autumn evening found the svelte she-wolf perched daintily beside the rippling pool of crystal water that had become a frequented location of hers; now that it was not sweltering out, but also not yet frigid, often times the femme slumbered before the falls. A canopy of crisp leaves swayed gently in the breeze far above her, varying in brilliant shades of gold, crimson, and sunset orange. The stars were faintly visible even higher still, and rays of milky light from the full moon winked through the patterns in the leaves. Her smoldering eyes, a hue that might be achieved if one mixed the gold-and-crimson of the autumn leaves, did not once leave the ripples that moved across the surface of the water as she thought.

Autumn had come upon them so swiftly, and soon enough Ina’mos would be ripe with females in their prime once more. She, of course, knew that she would give birth to her second litter fathered by her Emperor and mate. The thought stirred a mixture of emotions within her; longing to be with him once more, but a detached resignation for the agony that she knew would come. And Ina’mos would be full to the brim with squealing, stumbling pups once more. The thought brought a wry smile to her ebony-lined lips.

In the distance, the cicadas began their nightly symphony, and Messoria’s velvety ears sat prim and perked atop her cranium. Still her visage did not turn from the water; she was as dark as a shadow here beneath the canopy, the only indication that she was present being the places where the moon caught the chestnut streaks in her fur until they shone almost crimson…and her eyes, nearly luminescent despite the darkness that danced within them.

Watching, unwavering, she sat as if waiting for something that would never come.

NOTES: I felt like posting with Messoria soooo...open to anyone. 
WORDS: 635

[Inara]

Inara knew about the recent goings on in Kairos. Of course she did; it was her job. Not only that, but the news was traveling quickly, as was the habit of surprising, bordering on scandalous, news. There was almost no way she would not have heard of it by now. But she could not help but feel somewhat surprised, as she was sure the rest of the pack did. Surprised, confused, angered, betrayed... all feelings that were likely being felt as the news of Morrigan and Nimue’s “disappearance” spread. Inara was determined to appear above it all, as if it did not bother her or as if it did not matter. She dealt with this the way she dealt with everything – with a haughty disposition.

Still, many thoughts about the recent goings on swirled in her head, try as hard as she might to pretend it wasn’t so. Where had they gone? Why had they left? There was some part of her that felt sure they were not in danger. This felt very deliberate. But why leave Kairos? It was without a doubt the strongest, safest pack on these islands. And if that was not enough to keep them around, did they not feel like they owed it to Kairos? They had been born here. Not just to the pack, but to the alpha. They owed this pack everything they knew. At least, in her mind. It seemed silly to be thinking this way, as it was well-known she had a habit for completely disregarding rules. Beyond disregarding, she often treated them with complete disdain and rebellion. And even then, she could not imagine just leaving. Hadn’t she tried hard to prove her loyalty to Kairos? Trouble-maker or not, abandoning her pack was not something this trouble-maker felt she could justify.

It was then that Inara noticed the sound of water nearby that had become louder and louder the more she continued walking. It was something she did a lot – walking. She liked walking swiftly through their lands. She liked the freedom, the peace, the quiet, the solitude… It was relaxing to her. And often she did not know where her feet were taking her when she was lost in thought. She must be near the falls at this point. The small she-wolf decided she might as well check them out and see what was going on there. As Inara headed towards the sound of the water, she noticed the form of a wolf, sitting at the edge of the pool. She approached neither timidly nor boldly. This wolf was not a threat, not someone she need be afraid of or put on her façade of unyielding bravery for.

“Hello, Messoria,” she greeted the femme, almost in a manner to gentle to be consistent with her typical standoffish and snobbish front. Her soprano voice sounded small and dainty and almost went under in the sound of the thundering falls not that far away. “How are you doing today?” She wasn’t sure if the fae would appreciate company right now or if she would rather be left alone, but there was no harm in trying. Inara had had precious little contact with others as of late. Not that it was anyone’s fault but her own. She stood there a few lengths away from the dark she-wolf, hesitant to join her or sit down in case it became obvious her presence was not wished. For a brief second, she thought about mentioning Morrigan and Nimue. It was all anyone was talking about anyway. But there was something in Messoria’s face and the way she sat that told Inara it would not be a good idea to bring up her missing daughters. Instead, she stood there awaiting a response that would let her know if she should stay or move on.

Words: 638
Muse: Pretty good
Tags: Messoria
Notes: Trying to get Inara active and feel her out, so I hope you don’t mind I just popped in when I saw an open thread. :3

[Messoria]

It was some time before Messoria noticed that she was not alone, although she did not think that whoever it was had been present for very long. There was a swaying of the grass, a gentle breathing, and then the shape materialized beside her. The figure of the wolf was downright tiny, and immediately Messoria recognized the pale blue eyes and the slender form of Inara, Kairos’ Emissary. While Messoria had not shared many interactions with the femme, she was well aware of who she was, and comfortable enough with her company that she gestured welcomingly to a spot beside her, inviting Inara to sit. The Emissary, much like many of Kairos’ females – including Messoria herself, was a proud creature, and it was surprising to hear such a gentle murmur escape from her muzzle when she spoke.

”I’m well enough, with all things considered,” Messoria answered with a small smile, her gaze returning briefly to the water. It was no secret that two of her daughters had departed, and so she would not pretend as if she were the only one who knew. Still, her voice did not waver, not once; the Consort would not show weakness, even in matters of the heart. Especially in matters of the heart. Keeping her expression carefully arranged into one of polite interest, she tilted her head towards the femme.

”And yourself?” She asked after an appropriate pause, turning to face Inara once more. While Messoria was a dainty she-wolf herself, the two were starkly different in other ways; Inara’s pelt was a gentle mixture of tans, creams, and red, her orbs a delicate shade of blue that reminded Messoria of the ocean on a clear morning. She was so tiny, though, and Messoria wondered if she would ever see the Emissary heavy with pups. It was an expected part of life in Kairos, and yet she could not imagine the graceful girl who was so small herself carrying around a full womb – especially with the monstrous sized pups that Kairos was known for housing. All the same, it was none of her business, and so she did not ask.

”I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten the chance to get to know you better,” Messoria admitted. ”There are just so many of us now, and the numbers just keep growing. Even with many of the pups gone for the agoge, it still seems so busy here.” Kairos was, without a doubt, the largest pack in residence on Anikira, and with the season approaching, their numbers would soon surge once more. Thinking about it left Messoria breathless sometimes; in two years, or three, how large would Goliath’s empire had grown? Already he reigned over several territories, and even the less populated land of Acerbus had not been challenged for. Anyone would have been a fool to stand up against Kairos though, and she supposed that everyone knew it by now; they had seen neither hide nor tail of the Descai wolves after Goliath’s conquest, after all.

TAG: Inara
WORDS: 502
NOTES: So glad these two finally get to meet!

[Inara]

I'm well enough, with all things considered


It was obvious Messoria was not trying to skirt around the elephant in the room, while simultaneously also not wishing to speak about it. Or perhaps she did wish she could talk about it but felt constrained by her pride. Inara could understand that. There were many things she did and did not do as a result of pride. She let out a small breath she had not noticed she was holding and nodded solemnly, wanting to offer the femme sympathy without knowing how it would be accepted. Instead, her eyes did not make contact with the slightly larger she-wolf's and she shuffled her weight a little bit uncomfortably.

And yourself?


Her gaze returned to Messoria's immediately and she offered a half-hearted smile. "I'm doing well enough, I suppose." She inwardly cringed for having just repeated her own answer to the question. Why did these kinds of conversations always seem so insincere? They didn't have to be, but everyone answered them so guarded, not willing to actually let anyone in. Inara knew she was guilty of this herself more often than not. But perhaps today could be the day she was honest with others about what she had been thinking. It might, at the very least, spark a conversation, and that would be better than trying to have a conversation with small talk. "I was only thinking about Morrigan and Nimue's disappearance." Aware this might be upsetting to the dark wolf, she quickly added, "I am sorry if I should not have brought it up."

Her rigid posture did not relax, despite the relief that the returned question had brought. Clearly her presence was not despised, at the very least. Still, she did not sit down as if to join the wolf by the water. Inara was not really in the habit of sitting, even when conversing with other wolves. She did not mind being on her feet, and she felt she looked too small and helpless in comparison to the size of the other wolves in Kairos when she sat, although she did have to admit that Messoria's smaller size was a comfort to her. She did not feel so out of place or threatened.

"I have a feeling that is also what you were thinking about, if I may be so bold." the dainty, light-coloured she-wolf was aware she was treading on thin ice, but she could only hope that Messoria would take it well. She had never had any interactions with the wolf, but that was not unusual for a wolf in Kairos. The pack was so large they often did not know everyone, but Inara tried to keep tabs on who everyone was. "Where do you think they might have gone?" she prodded further. The question, though simple, carried assumptions with it. It very obviously stated that she believed they had left intentionally. Perhaps she should not have been so blunt.

Words: 505
Muse: very reasonable.
Tags: Messoria
Notes: Decided not to use the table until I get the images fixed. =/ But yeah! I'm excited they get to meet, as well.

[Messoria]

"I'm doing well enough, I suppose.”

Messoria nodded. It was the response she’d been anticipating, and while she was certainly not disappointed to hear that Inara was doing well, she wondered if it was true. Those who did not know each other in Kairos tended to hide their true thoughts and feelings, tucked carefully away behind glittering masks of confidence, pride, and backbone. To be weak in Kairos was to be crippled.

”I was only thinking about Morrigan and Nimue's disappearance."

And yet. It seemed as if Inara was not operating under these self-appointed terms this night, something that made Messoria’s lips twitch into a small smile despite the loss that gnawed at her. She did not answer immediately, offering only a shake of her head to wave away Inara’s apology. It was on everyone’s minds, she was sure, and she was glad that at least someone had mustered the courage to ask instead of simply speculate.

”I would not call it a disappearance,” Messoria said lightly, not missing the implication of Inara’s final question. ”They said goodbye to me before they left. And to their father.” It was a night burned into Messoria’s memory permanently, and one that did not seem likely to fade any time soon. Still, Goliath had not stopped them from leaving; Messoria could only home that their respectful departure had eliminated the possibility of Kairos labeling the girls as traitors. It seemed for the time being as if it had.

”I haven’t the slightest clue where they went. I wish that I did,” Messoria admitted finally, tone frank as she turned to gaze at Inara. It was refreshing, in a way, to finally confide in someone. Goliath was not always around to listen to his mate’s fears and worries, and Lichen seemed to be dealing with her own struggles. ”It has weighed heavily on my mind. It was a surprise when they came to me and told me they were leaving…but also, in a way, it was not.”

She thought back over the time that had passed since she had given birth to her first litter; from the very start, Morrigan had been so headstrong and inquisitive, and she’d never been without Nimue by her side. ”Morrigan was always a bit dissatisfied with the answers that I gave her when she would inquire after her future in Kairos. No matter how hard I tried to reassure her, she never took to the ideals that I preached. And so her leaving shocked me, but I wonder if I wasn’t a bit blind to it all along. The signs are easy to see now, but not so much back then.”

Nimue…she was a different story entirely. ”As for her sister…well, I never saw anything strange with her. Nimue always seemed fine with where she was – who she was. She eagerly listened to everything that I taught her. She seemed content. But she and Morrigan were inseparable, and it is possible that I simply overlooked the signs.”

Messoria frowned then, her ears flicking once atop her skull and then stopping. ”I am not sure what will happen from here. Soon I’ll be pregnant with Goliath’s pups again, and I find myself inclined to wonder how I will be with them. Stricter? Because even if Morrigan and Nimue left on amiable terms, it still tastes like failure, in a way.”

TAG: Inara
WORDS: 561
Notes: sorry for the wait <3

[Inara]

I would not call it a disappearance. They said goodbye to me before they left. And to their father.

Inara could not help that her face betrayed the interest and curiosity she felt. Her eyes widened slightly as she watched Messoria's face. So it was true that they had left willingly. Inara was not the gossip type. No one would hear it from her. That was Messoria and Goliath's business, and she did not feel like stepping into the middle of that. But she did like keeping up with the news in the pack, and she was rather curious by nature.

"Well, I'm sure it helped that they said goodbye before they left?" The inflection at the end of the statement made it sound like a question, and she searched Messoria's face for a response beyond whatever words she used to reply. Facial expressions could give so much away.

Inara had to admit she was a little surprised at the amount the darker fae opened up and spoke, revealing so much about herself, about Morrigan and Nimue, about their relationship, about her thoughts, about her emotions... Inara felt uncomfortable with it. In part because she did not know how she was expected to respond. She had never been like most females in this respect -- able to relate and show sympathy or whatever it was they did for each other. It was definitely not her strong suit.

She seemed content. But she and Morrigan were inseparable, and it is possible that I simply overlooked the signs.

"So, you blame Morrigan, then?" Immediately aware it was the wrong word choice, Inara cringed. "I'm sorry. That is not what I meant. I was only asking if you think it was all Morrigan's idea and that Nimue perhaps did not want to leave?" Inara had to admit it was a curious situation. She was not sure what to make of it. And what would two Kairos females do on their own? While Inara liked to pretend she was self-sufficient, she was very grateful for her place in the pack. She did not feel so vulnerable or alone.

Soon I’ll be pregnant with Goliath’s pups again, and I find myself inclined to wonder how I will be with them. Stricter? Because even if Morrigan and Nimue left on amiable terms, it still tastes like failure, in a way.

This thought process somewhat disturbed Inara. Perhaps because she was such a free spirit herself and was all too familiar with control techniques. They did not work. She knew that. And yet, it seemed all parents alike thought they did. "Wouldn't that only serve to push them further away? You can guide, but you cannot control them." She was not looking to start an argument, only to hopefully challenge Messoria's thinking. "It is likely not your fault. But it might be if you react to their... " she paused for a minute, trying to avoid the word betrayal. "If you react to the fact that they left. I'm sure you are not a bad parent."

Words: 509
Muse: Just dandy!
Tags: Messoria
Notes: omg I am so sorry I did not notice this sooner. =( I was just sitting here waiting for a reply and did not even see I'd already received one. I suck.

[Messoria]

"So, you blame Morrigan, then?"

Messoria cast a sharp glance in Inara’s direction, ears flicking atop her skull as she silently listened to the other femme clarify. A moment later, she shook her head just once, a brief movement. ”No. I don’t think Nimue would have left if she truly didn’t want to. I simply meant that she was less vocal about her wants and wishes than her sister was.” She knew that Nimue never would have been pushed into doing something she did not wish to, even by her headstrong sister; Nimue had been quiet and obedient in general situations, but as her mother, Messoria knew that she had a stubborn streak a mile long. If Nimue had left, it was because she believed she’d be happier off somewhere with Morrigan as opposed to within Kairos territory.

Inara’s response to her previous musing regarding her approaching litter made Messoria shrug. She found suddenly that she no longer wished to speak of her Nimue and Morrigan, or her concerns over her future litter. She’d kept it to herself for so very long before she revealed a fraction of her feelings to Inara, and now it felt odd to have done so. She’d only ever confided in Goliath regarding the matter before this evening, though his reaction had been understandably different that Inara’s; as her mate, he’d done well in comforting her, in assuring her that she was not at fault and not to blame. He’d taken a large portion of the worries from her delicate shoulders – but not all. ”I’m sure I’ll know what to do, when the time comes,” she said, offering no more on the matter. She had considered what approach to take with her future litters for some time now, and naturally she’d thought of the very possibilities that Inara offered. It was not a decision to be made lightly – or perhaps at all. Who could say how she would be when she met her newest children? The pain of missing Nimue and Morrigan was still fresh, still confusing, for Messoria was not accustomed to caring. But now…now there were her pups, and Goliath, and her friends. Caring was something it seemed she would be doing much of.

”What about you, Inara?” She asked, turning her amber gaze upon the smaller fae once more. It was no secret that every able-bodied femme in Kairos, with the exception of the High Priestess, was expected to carry pups. Messoria knew that Inara had not the previous season, for being a Consort during the season resulted in her watching over the newest broods while her own stomach steadily swelled. ”Are you considering becoming a mother in the approaching season?” She was careful to keep her voice as light as she could; she meant no offense by her question, after all. There were several femmes who had yet to produce offspring, something that Messoria understood. Before Goliath, there had been no one Messoria found suitable, no one good enough for her to give herself to. Now it seemed as if she’d been unknowingly waiting for the gargantuan Emperor. Perhaps Inara was unknowingly waiting for someone, too.

tag: Inara
words: 525
Notes:

[Inara]

I’m sure I’ll know what to do, when the time comes

Inara knew this was meant to close to discussion. Messoria’s openness only extended so far, and Inara had to admit it was further than she had expected when she had first approached the femme. She nodded, an expression of understanding on her face before she allowed it to almost glaze over back into the typical impenetrable façade, the lack of emotion on her face evident. The moment of bare disclosure allowing a glimpse into each others’ heads was over.

What about you, Inara? Are you considering becoming a mother in the approaching season?

And yet… perhaps it was not over. Inara immediately froze. Her headspace had just switched back to her default distant and guarded projected personality, and she was not sure how to respond to the question. The answer in her current mental context would be shallow and not mean much, and that was what first came out of her maw.

“I do not belong to anyone’s harem, and I doubt that will happen before the season is over.” But she knew the dark-furred mother would be expecting more of a response than that. Something she could work with to understand her better and offer a decent reply in their conversation that was more than a meaningless social pleasantry. So the small fae continued, “I do not know that I would be chosen to bear Kairos pups. I am not… the same build as the wolves Kairos is known for. My pups would likely be an embarrassment to the pack.” Inara’s voice was a cross between bitter and sad. But she quickly hardened, pushed sadness away, and added, “Not that it much matters. Having pups would be difficult for an Emissary.” It took the focus off of herself and her personal life back onto her pack and her rank. Overall, it was a more comfortable conversation focus. She searched intently for something else to say that would shift the topic away from herself, but nothing came to mind.

Words: 329
Muse: meh
Tags: Messoria
Notes: Sorry about the length. =/