Fixing The Damaged (Eidus)

[Kiva]

The day was still very young, the sun having only just begun it's ascent into the sky. Creatures both large and small were sleeping soundly in their dens, making the world a silent place. All that could be heard was the rustling of fall leaves caused by a chilly early morning wind. However, if one were to listen closely, they could hear the careful steps and light breathing caused by a silver female who was currently making her way to the pool she had spotted the day before. Before she had come to this land four days ago, she was never up this early. Now it seemed every morning she watched the sun rose. Sleep just didn't come to her now like it had all the many days of her life before and every night, she would be the last asleep and every morning she would be the first awake. She hated the exhaustion and the weakness that tried eating at her physical and mental state because of it but she didn't know what to do.

Though the she wolf would never admit it, she was more afraid than she had ever been before. Looking back, she knew being kicked out of her parent's pack, being raped and held hostage, or the night her family was murdered by a ravenous fire came no where near to how she was currently feeling. She had joined a dark and dangerous pack, gotten pregnant for the fourth time by the beta, left the main land to give birth, sent her son off to train with the rest of the young warriors and then fled with her daughter. So much of that gave her reason to worry and to be afraid. What would Goliath think when he found out she bailed on his pack? Would he be able to look past it knowing she at least left a worthy warrior? Would her son even be allowed to live or would he be punished for a crime he didn't commit? What about her and her daughter? Would someone come after them and if so, what would they do? Would they even survive? These were just a few of the questions that had flooded her mind and were the reason what little sleep she got was plagued by nightmares.

As she neared the pull, every sound she heard made her jump and her tail was tucked. She had left Sasha asleep in their temporary den and she was trying to resist the urge to run back and make sure she was still alive. She would never accomplish anything if she lived in constant fear and she took a deep shaky breath trying to calm her nerves, though she knew it would do little good. Once she reached the pool, the sun was higher up in the sky and she could easily see all the reflections in the water. Walking up to it, she was silent for a minute. Her once glowing baby blue eyes were now dull and full and fear and exhaustion. The dark blue crescent that surrounded her eye no longer made her smile proudly. She once believed the stories passed down from generation to generation about the origins of the strange mark and why she should be proud of it. But with all the bad that had happened to her, she wondered if it was actually the mark of a bad omen and if it had ever actually meant something good.

"I am so lost without you brother, confused and afraid. I have left that pack for I could no longer force myself to submit to such an awful alpha. I left behind Cato Jr hoping he would be the one to make everything right but I have no idea what's really going to happen. I'm so afraid someone is going to come after Sasha and I and without you brother I know I don't stand a chance of defeating them but I can't loose her. I've already lost you and all thirteen of my pups, I can't loose what little is left without loosing myself too." It was then that she fell her quiet, her eyes glossy as she stared into the water, her mind in a distant place. There was nothing the silver hued wolf wanted more than to rebuild, or start a new pack and become the alpha she once was but she knew how broken she truly was and she really doubted that would ever happen.

Words: 760
Muse: Extremely High
Notes: Figured starting with her at her lowest would be the best considering where they'll ultimately end up, it'll give them the most chances to develop.
Tags: Eidus

[Eidus]

Eidus moved slowly, it was a moment of weakness allowed to drag on. Whether by conscious choice or just lack of will to stop it, either way the wounds both old and new ached. It dragged at his body and mind and made his walk into a half shamble. It bothered him somewhere on a deeper level where his original personality still survived somehow, however he did not have the energy to try and find out why it did. He dragged his paws across the ground in rough half steps as he moved among the trees. His eyes roamed the forest only half paying attention to the woods around him. His mind instead focused on the paths in his mind. The half truths of the future and the certain facts of his past. The wounds seemed to reinforce the thoughts haunting him

So many worlds had gone behind him, paths tread never to be seen again. These paths were lined with lost loves, lost packs, and lands never to be seen again. It had been a battle to survive the wounds of his last fight but now the thoughts that crept into his mind made it hard to survive being alive. He had no overt urges to allow himself to die but had lost any true direction towards keeping himself alive and in one piece. The new personality born from his meeting with Night Wind had taken control of his actions in the last few weeks. This new personality barely acknowledged the world except to feed and keep himself alive on the bare minimum of effort. The rest of the time was spent a malaise of pain and memories.

His eyes however caught on something through the trees heading forward, the glints of what seemed to be water. He was barely aware where he was on Anikira let alone what body of water he could be near by. The glints caused his mind to shift to a different series of memories, though the memories were no less depressing. Memories of the great ocean attempting to consume him bodily once his cage had been thrown to the sea. The memories of the water moving over him in great sweeping waves clogging his mouth and nose. In the midst of these memories another one shown through though, a memory of a gentle female laugh as he stuck his nose into a quiet small stream. The female voice spoke but he could not understand her words, all he could feel from the voice was an overwhelming warmth. He knew who this voice was though memories of her had escaped him for many years, it was his mother.

His steps took on a stronger tone as he moved. They became more sure as he shrugged off the damage and pain and began to move quietly through the trees towards the water. His mind cleared as he latched onto that fleeting memory the pale furred wolf who had given birth to him and his siblings. Eidus moved to the edge of the tree line and stared out at the calm pool of water reflecting back the light of the sun sitting high in the sky. He light bathed him in a warmth that he felt deeper than just what the sun itself was giving to him. He shook his fur gently while he enjoyed the feeling finally shaking some of the depression from his mind. It would never truly be gone but that did not mean there were not times it relented enough to give him a chance to breathe.

As he finally dropped his gaze from the sun high over the water his eyes began to roam the waters edge. His eyes fell upon a blaze of silver fur near the edge of water. Eidus subtly adjusted himself so he didn't draw unwanted attention while the form came more into focus. He recognized her rapidly though they had only met a short few days ago. Her name was Kiva and she was one of the only wolves he had met who seemed anywhere close to his age. She was an interesting creature he had to admit, one of the few who seemed to carry as much of a past as he did. Though by no stretch did he have any true understanding of her he admitted that there was curiosity about her somewhere deep inside of him.

He began to moved quickly and silently through the edge of the woods his fur blending with the shadows edges. He approached slowly her form while she stared at the water and seemed to be speaking. He could not clearly hear the words however the tone they were spoken in were something he knew well. A mixture of longing, pain, sadness, and depression. A tone and song he knew all to well. However the creature he was at his core stirred some, an outwashing of care and sympathy swarmed his mind and it was all he could do to stop himself from rushing to her side to help her. It would do nothing but seek to push her away. He needed to approach her similar to prey, carefully and with a soft step. The last thing he needed to do was annoy or anger one of the few allies he had here.

His steps took him out of the woods and he made sure to make subtle noises to alert her to his presence while he moved. He picked a slow winding path down to the edge of the water to come up next to her. As he came up along side her he did not look at her directly instead choosing to sit several feet away from her and keeping his eyes out to the waters. His voice rolled out low and rough as he spoke to her indirectly “This lake is amazing, who would have thought one could find such a peaceful place in the middle of such a chaotic and dense forest.” Old habits were hard to kill, his words as ever were spoken as a mixture of meanings on multiple levels.

Words: 1018
Tags: Kiva
Notes: none

[Kiva]

Her mind ran through old memories as if it were a movie, each one a different scene. The first scene took place in a field, a small lake nestled within. The two youngsters, one black with a white crescent on the forehead, the other silver with a blue crescent around her eye, played in the water. They splashed each other in a competition of who could make the biggest splash. Laughter and childish banter was all that could be heard. It was their first birthday and, despite warnings from their parents, they had sneaked off to have some fun. But, as the hours went by and the afternoon came to end, the silver female called it quits and climbed out of the water, shaking out the water from her dense coat. Her brother soon followed suit but not without muttering about how his sister was a goody two shoes, always wanting to obey and please her parents. As soon as Kiva heard what he was saying she shot him a glare and took off through the woods, running away from their pack. By the time they had returned to their parent's lands, the moon had risen and both their mother and father were sitting their waiting for them. They were tired of the disobedience and had reached a conclusion that would soon be made clear. As their father attacked their son, their mother doing the same to their daughter, a deadly fight broke out that was only ceased by the younger wolves backing off. Before they could run off though, a grim warning was told by their father; they better never return.

The next scene was one that was much happier. In a small cave lay the silver wolf, her belly swollen with pups. Outside lay her mate, a wolf that could pass as her identical twin, despite the fact they weren't at all related. The only thing her mate didn't have was the mark of the moon, not that it was surprising though since her blood line was the only one with the mark, or so it was told. Whimpers could be heard from within the cave as the female began to push, her first litter well on it's way. It had been a year since the creation of Tala and Kiva's mate was the first member the siblings had gained. But, Kiva knew that was no longer the case as she cleaned off her four newborn pups. The oldest was solid black and would come to be named Kiba. The next was a breathtaking white whose name would be given to her by her uncle, Anima. The youngest two were a pair of twins, a silver male named Tsume and a silver female named Luna. These were Kiva's very first pups, though they would be far from her last, and she cherished them with every ounce of her being. But, this scene wasn't all good. No, it ended with her mate abandoning her and her pups for the simple fact that Cato would not give up his rightful position as alpha.

Before her memories could go any further, she was pulled out of her thoughts. She could hear something moving around nearby though what it was she wasn't sure. She listened closer and as the sound grew louder, she could tell it was another wolf. Who it was though, she wasn't sure. All she knew was it wasn't her daughter. Her scent was not the one she smelt. The fur along her back stood on end and her teeth showed through her lips, yet she didn't move. To be honest, she was afraid. Afraid that one of the Kairos members had found her and was coming after her. She abhorred the fear that seemed to eat at her every second of every day since she abandoned her old pack. She wished she knew how to get rid of it or at least how assuage it some but she knew it was only a matter of time before someone did actually come after her and that was why she knew the fear would always be there. However, to her relief and pleasant surprise, it was not a member of Kairos at all but the male that had fed and looked after her and her daughter.

She watched him closely as he walked out of the dense forest, taking note of how he made sure to leave space between him and herself. She was thankful for the manners and respect he showed as it was a nice change from the males who she had called pack mates, including Sasha's father and also her ex alpha. She enjoyed the calming energy he seemed to give off as it offered a sense of familiarity. Listening closely to him, she nodded at his words. It was indeed strange to see such beauty in the middle of something so dark but at the same time, it was all too familiar to a wolf whose life seemed to work the same way. As an example, her mind seemed to wonder to her fifteen pups, fourteen of which she had now lost. Four of them came from a mate who abandoned her over a pack position, six of them from being held hostage and raped, three from a one night stand, and two from a hook up between her and her previous beta. They were the beauty in the darkness of her life and all but one had been taken from her.

Finally, the she wolf spoke, though the words that came seemed to flow from a source greater than herself. "Is it really a surprise though or is it something to be expected? They say water acts as a mirror to the soul so if one were to look into it and into their past, would one not see some sort of beauty and calmness within the darkness? I for one do. But, it is also said that water is the greatest force on the planet. It can both give and take life, build and destroy surroundings. So it would not surprise me if this water were to eventually join the chaos of it's surroundings. After all, everything good comes to an end." Even as she spoke, her eyes never lifted from the surface. It was clear that her mind was elsewhere, lost in a place between reality and the past.

Words: 1081
Muse: Very High
Notes:
Tags: Eidus

[Eidus]

Eidus listened to the silvers words carefully. She spoke much the same as he did. A world of sounds commenting on half truths and hidden thoughts of the world that surrounded them. He could respect the points he heard from her words on the multiple levels. Water was an interesting element as far as the world was concerned. Without even fully realizing it himself he began to speak his voice harsh and rough “Water is the calmest of all elements. It is also the most insidious of them. The fires of the world burn away bright and clean, their light heat and smoke giving clear warning of what they commit on the world. The winds are calm but their howl warns you when their temperament turns against you. The earth is passive but when it chooses to let loose its rage it reaches up and shakes the world we know. Its vibrations are an apparent warning to any who choose to listen to them. Water however, it is the most cruel of them all.”

Eidus' eyes moved up from the lake to stare at the woods along the edges of the calm pond. “Its a necessary part of life. However it eats at the earths very edges, it crushes fires suffocating them, it rides the wind ripping apart the land in torrents and reaching even the most remote places. Then you have the bitter irony that the world needs it to survive. However too much of it around you drowns you like a fire.” His eyes had become less focused as he spoke as his own memories resurfaced once more. This time though there was no guiding light to assist. Just the deep disturbing feeling he had when he was among the waters of the oceans with nothing but darkness and the pressing suffocation of the waters. He shivered in a very minute way the tremor barely noticeable.

Fear was an old friend of his since all those years ago when he had been stripped from his family, since then he had found happiness only to have it stripped away once again. Then again he at least had peace at that time. Then again his past had hunted him down to shatter any ease he had found. Now here he was a torn tattered shadow of his original self. He acted on instincts from his old personality but some part of him felt it was nothing more than habits. He had at his very core been torn apart, in am almost unconscious response to the thought he flicked his now tattered ear. The scars hurt whenever you was not forcing himself to ignore them. He knew he was still healing from the fight with Night Wind.

As the thought of his cousin passed through his mind memories of the battle reawoke. His pack had a belief than when one fought another wolf and killed them in battle, if one ate a part of the fallen enemy they took a part of that wolf into them. He had ripped Night Winds throat out and in the act killed him and consumed a part of him. He wondered in some strange way if had assumed part of the spirit of Night Wind inside of himself. The thought was a sickening one but he could not even bring himself to react to the disgust. His face was calm and controlled as he stared at dark woods.

He brought himself back to the present with a sudden mental shudder. The depression and morose feeling had consumed much of him lately. However now was not the time for it. He shook the darkness away once more and a small strand of light shot across his mind. A memory of a pitch black wolf speaking to him from far in the past “The darkness is nothing to fear for any hunter. The darkness is your friend as much as it for any other hunter. Do not fear the darkness, gives those in the darkness a reason to fear you.” The words warmed him deeply and his eyes cleared again. Lately the memories of his family had been coming back to him more. He wondered what had happened recently enough to cause that to occur.

As he brought back his focus his words changed tone and timber as he continued to speak ignoring the thoughts that had briefly overwhelmed him. “However I still view even the most dangerous thing this world can present, water, as a thing of beauty. You are correct in saying that in water there is beauty and peace. But I chose to believe not that the water will eventually join the chaos, but instead will pacify in time the chaos that surrounds it. After all what else can it do.” The words he finished with echoed not only their discussion but also what he was trying to say to himself.

Words: 817
Tags: Kiva
Notes: none

[Kiva]

At first, Kiva listened to the male’s response to her words. However, it was not long before her mind had left the present reality and found its way into a horrific memory. Red, yellow, and orange were every swallowing the sky itself. The heat was an inferno, hell on earth. Crackling could be heard all around as well as the sounds of trees following and animals crying. She couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead of her and though she tried desperately to call out to her pups, no responses could be heard and none of them could be seen. However, she somehow managed to find her brother. They hated to do it but with no other choice, they took off running, leaving her pups behind as they ran for safety. But before they could get very fall, Kiva heard a scream from behind her and turned around just in time to see a burning tree fall upon her brother’s back. The sound that resulted from the incident was sickening, heart wrenching, and couldn’t be mistaken. His back was crushed, shattered, and though still alive, there was no way he could continue on. He begged her to put him out of the awful, horrible, pain he was in and with a grim nod, she did exactly that. She told him she loved him, that he was an amazing brother and an even better uncle and that she was so thankful to be his sister and then her teeth closed around his throat, draining what was left of his life from him. She nuzzled him one last time after she was sure he was dead and then took off once more, reaching the beach and swimming to Anikira.

By the time she came back to reality, he was finishing his response and she had no idea what all he had said. Her frame was shaking, and was tense almost frozen in fear. She shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts from her head before looking back at him. ”I know all too well what it’s like to be drowned by fire,” she said almost more to herself than to him before dropping her gaze back to the water at her feet. If water had been present that night, especially in the form of rain, things may not have been as bad as they were. Her brother might be with her still and together, they could remake their pack. She may have not even lost all of her pups. But, water was not on her side that and in its absence it had been almost as cruel as the fire had been. She sighed at the thought and suddenly, she wanted to be alone, curled up, and left to her past thoughts, ones of a happier time with her brother and her children. But, she knew that wasn’t going to happen and closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She needed to pull herself together, she didn’t need everyone knowing her weaknesses like they surely would if she continued on like this. She just couldn’t help it.

Eidus