First Steps {OPEN/AGOGE}

[Rhys]

It was finally time for the large brute to make the swim. He would no doubt get enough sass for his late arrival from his siblings, but he didn't care at this point. The Agoge was supposed to be his right of passage, the journey that would show him his destiny. His mother had worried over him telling him to keep safe and to come home to her, but in his heart he knew that Kairos wasn't where his destiny lie. He would complete the Agoge and be victorious as a Gladiator of Kairos until the day came that his fate took him elsewhere. There was a yearning within him to see something more than the little island of Ina'mos. Kairos was a vast empire that controlled many territories within the continent of Anikira. His mother was a huntress and his father a well respected General, but he was not content to remain there. This Agoge was an adventure that he craved more than anything else. To strike out on his own and prove that he was more than his familial ties. It was almost as if a part of his heart had drifted from the island long ago. With a pretty promise to return to his mother he had made his way to the shored of Ina'mos desperate to leave at once. The waters would be cold enough and everyday that he waited was another day his siblings had to gain the upper hand. While Taranis was obviously larger than Rhys he felt that he would reign supreme in this ritual to say the least. He loved each of his siblings in their own ways, but there was a competitive nature within him that drove him to dominate.



When he finally reached the shores he took a deep breath of fresh air before charging into the water. Rhys hated swimming, but he had to learn in order to make the swim to the mainland. The feel of the cool water on his skin made him growl in utter disgust. The sooner he made it out of the water the better for him. Strong currents and waves made it difficult for the brute to keep a straight line of swimming. The deeper he got the more miserable his mood became, the salty water burning his mouth and nose. Water from hell was foul and Rhys did his best to spit it all out, only to swallow more. His legs kicked savagely against the water as he brought himself closer to his goal. Deep in his soul blossomed a resolve to finish this blasted ritual as quickly as he could. He knew that something called him from this place, but he was determined to claim his status as an adult. Roka would no doubt be upset that he was leaving, but she also promised to love and support each of her children in their choices. She had struck out on her own when she was not much older than he was now. Her strive for freedom was something that he wanted for himself more than anything. He also wondered if his siblings felt a similar call to the wilds or if they would remain in Kairos. Taranis had changed for the worst since their time as pups. His mood had soured and his curiosities were borderline cruel. Kegan was the same little momma's boy that he had been when they were young, and Liadan had seemed to grow cold towards her siblings. Rhys could not understand why they had each changed, or in Kegan's case stayed the same, but each had. Once the coastline of Vor'asa came into sight Rhys couldn't help his sigh of relief. He pulled himself from the sea only to end up on the beaches of the mainland. "Finally."

[Kegan]

After his encounter with Olympus, Kegan had been eager to leave the beach; Liadan, in true fashion, had run off on him, and so the young wolf was left alone, dragging his feet as he searched for fresh water. There had been a small stream not far from where the large black male had pounced on his sister, and it was here that Kegan had stayed for several hours, rooted to the spot by a mixture of fear and anxiety. The island was huge, and so were the two birds that he was supposed to be stealing an egg from; so much was stacked against the poor male that he simply ceased to function for a while.

When he finally came to grips with the fact that this was something he would not be able to avoid, the brown male steeled what resolve he had and lifted his large body from the ground, checking his surroundings more thoroughly than was necessary. The problem was, he couldn't remember which way he needed to go in order to head deeper onto the island as opposed to ending up back on the shore, and with a frown he chose a random direction, wondering if he was familiar with the landscape or if his mind was playing tricks on him.

The answer came when he reached the edge of the cliff, staring down at the very cove he had washed up on earlier that morning. With a groan, the young male sat down, frowning pathetically at the water as though it was the fault of the sea that he was back here. Since the stink of salt was stuck in his nose, he had not noticed that he was going back the same way he had come. "Stupid, stupid idiot!" he fumed loudly to himself, hitting the ground with a paw, though the anger quickly dissipated back into his natural state of flat disappointment. Kegan was used to this sort of thing happening, the bad stacking up against him. It seemed to be the natural order of things, and though the male sometimes felt the fury bubbling away beneath the surface, it always turned into resignation and depression.

This was Kegan's lot in life, and it appeared it always would be: wrong turns, big mistakes, and general failure. With a sigh, the brute contemplated giving up and wandering off, but he realized quickly that he could never make it on his own. The world was too big, and he was too inexperienced; even an average-sized would could best him in everything, and the thought only made him feel even worse. The poor dear was stuck between knowing he was a failure and continuing to be such, and it bit at his heels like a wild dog.

With a start Kegan was pulled out of his reverie, curiousity quickly taking over as he watched a small form slowly get bigger and bigger, moving from the sea to the land. It materialized into the form of Rhys, and Kegan's heart jumped, a mixture of joy and sadness gripping him. His larger brother would no doubt find him, once he moved from the beach to the cliff, and what would he do when it happened? Liadan was by far the meanest of his siblings, but Taranis and Rhys had their moments as well; each thought Kegan was a pathetic waste of space, and while it was true, it still hurt that they had no faith in him--thus continuing his cycle of failure, in a way. At least Roka believed in him, and perhaps that would get him through.

Though he remained sitting on the cliff, Kegan made no motion to call out to his brother or bring attention to himself. Rhys would make his way up, and see Kegan when that happened--if he was lucky, the fact that he had made the swim at all, let alone before Rhys, would cause his brother to lighten up on his teasing. If not, the darker male would do everything in his power to ignore the feelings that clouded his mind when his siblings were cruel.

Words || 698
Tags || Rhys
Notes || Well that was utter CRAP sorry Roka ugh. Also hope it's okay the way I did the end, since Kegan didn't wanna go back down the cliff!

[Rhys]

Rhys pulled himself from the sea after what seemed like an eternity of swimming. He knew that his brother and sister had already reached the shores of Vor'asa so he supposed it would only be a matter of time until he came across them. His pelt clung to him heavy and laden with salt and the sea's filth. Rhys hated the water more than he cared to admit. It would be a long hard road until he was able to return to Ina'mos with his egg. He hadn't given much thought to who he wanted to break his egg. He wanted it to be some great warrior who would proclaim his victory. Rumors had spread that one of his cousins had presented his egg to his mother, but Rhys was not keen on that idea. While he loved his mother he believed that females had no place interpreting the eggs that the youth brought home. He also knew that somewhere deep within him he knew that he would not be staying in Kairos for long. A part of him felt the pull that drew him away from his home. As if some part of his destiny was somewhere far from here. His mother was always preaching about them finding their full potential and for so long Rhys had thought she was nothing but a hypocrite. If she had really believed in finding her own full potential he doubted she would have ended up in Kairos. He had heard parts of her history and every thing was a grand adventure, up until she met Sabaoth. From Rhys' perspective she had settled for love instead of following whatever great destiny fate had for her. Now she was nothing more than a huntress and a consort, something that he just didn't want to even think about. His sister Liadan was proving to be independent, deciding that she also wanted to become a warrior.

Looking over the cliffs he found a path that lead to the top of them. He knew that he couldn't remain here on the beach forever, but a part of him was reluctant to make the next step. As soon as he left this place everything would be real, he would no longer be a pup, he would have to live or die on his own. Tentative steps, one after the other, led him to the top of the cliffs. Once at the top he had a good view of the channel that laid between the two continents. He could smell the ocean breeze as well as a very familiar scent. Rhys would know the smell of his siblings anywhere. This one in particular was Kegan. All the time they had spent growing up and playing together, Kegan had spent huddled up with their mother. He had noticed immediately that they shared a special kind of bond, one that made Rhys envious. He had been intentionally rough on his brother trying to toughen him up, but also because he had been jealous of his relationship with Roka. Rhys had felt that his little brother got special treatment just because he was so sensitive. Sniffing him out he found his brother sitting atop the cliff, seeming to be trying to ignore his brother's presence.

Rhys frowned, making his way over to Kegan's side. He didn't say anything at first, choosing to just sit next to him for a few moments. The size difference between the brother's was almost laughable. To be honest he had no clue what to say to his little brother. He had never taken the time to really get to know him, instead too busy trying to keep up with Taranis and Liadan. Kegan's likes and interests were a total mystery to him. All he knew was that Kegan was a momma's boy and that was enough to make Rhys resent him. He leaned down to nudge his shoulder, trying to get some reaction out of him. "Were you really going to let me walk right by you? Do you hate me that much?" He would not begrudge his brother if it turned out that he did hate him. He had been almost cruel to him in the past. Enough that she should be ashamed of himself, but he wasn't.

Kegan
OOC: Sorry I took so long.

[Kegan]

While Rhys made his way up the cliff, Kegan felt his heart rate begin to spike, his breathing turning rapid as well. It was insane, how visceral and immediate his reaction was to his brothers; anxiety coursed through the large wolf, manifesting itself in heightened sensitivity and a bit of paranoia. The sounds that he knew to be seabirds were suddenly unknown and terrifying beasts, the rustling of the wind through the grass a snake coming to inject him with irreversible venom. He could die here, on Vor'asa, and it could be any number of things that did him in.

No... no, Kegan thought silently to himself, shaking his head and focusing on his thoughts, his organs. It's Rhys. Rhys is nicer than Taranis, and even Liadan. Nothing has killed you yet, not even tried. It's fine. Repeating that mantra in his head, Kegan felt himself relax, although it was a very slow, very tentative relaxation that took quite a while to fully take hold. By the time he felt back to normal, Rhys had scaled the bluff and approached him, going so far as to nudge him on the shoulder before speaking.

It was relatively benign, what he said, and not at all cutting, which caught Kegan's interest. He lifted his front half from the ground, moving into a sit and turning his brown eyes to meet his brother's blue ones, so bright and piercing that, for a moment, Ke thought that it was Sabaoth's eyes he gazed into. Immediately his breathing sped up again, though it did not last long; Rhys' smooth face was unmarred by the excessive scars and ferocity of their father's, and the fear left almost as soon as it came about. There was nothing new to be afraid of here.

"I don't hate you," Kegan said quietly, casting his eyes downward at first, then turning his head back to gaze out at the ocean; he had learned that staring at the ground was a weakness, something that his other siblings had clung to as a way to tease him, and so he learned to look away without lowering his head--but it took a long time to get used to such a change, and his instinct was still to look down, then across. "I figured you would rather go find Liadan first, since she beat you here."

The fact that Kegan, too, had beat Rhys to the Agoge did not seem to matter, or perhaps he simply did not consider it to be as important. When it came to their little family, nobody competed with Ke, at least not in a serious way. There was no challenge in it, and so his brothers and sister often did not consider him in the running of any competition, so neither did Ke. It was part of his lack of confidence, manifested from the teasing of the rest, and at this point, the smallest male was simply accustomed to it.

"You look better than I did, when I reached the shore," Kegan added softly, glancing back at his brother for only a moment, noting the damp fur and generally unruffled appearance of his brother. "I think I passed out, after the swim. No surprise I guess." Self-deprecating though it was, Kegan was unsure how to converse with his brother, who seemed to want to talk. Rhys might be making an effort to change their relationship, and if so, it would take a lot of effort, but Kegan would be thrilled. To have as good a relationship with his sibling as he did with his mother would bring him one step closer to contentedness, which would in turn bring true happiness. Perhaps by patching up relationships with his siblings, Kegan could work up the courage to do the same with his father.

Words || 679
Tags || Rhys
Notes || Blerp that was crum. Sorry love< 3

[Rhys]

Just the way that Kegan seemed to shrink away form him made it clear just how much damage they had done to him when they were pups. The way that he put him self down so easily made Rhys want to be sick. He had never realized how much psychological damage they had caused. For all their teasing and bullying, Rhys had only sought to help his brother be stronger, and better. In the grand scheme of it all he knew he had been more focused on achieving victory. He had simply not given enough care to develop the relationship with Kegan. Then again he didn't really have a good relationship with any of their siblings. His mind had always been more focused on competing. "Seek out Liadan? Letting her brag about how she beat me here is not my idea of a good time. I would much rather stay with you." Liadan would track him down soon enough and no doubt chew his ear off about how much better she was. Growing up all he could focus on was the idea of being promoted within the ranks of Kairos. He desired more than just being a grunt in the grand scheme of his pack. Now it seemed as if all of the time and training he had put in was not worth it. The neglect done to Kegan not worth any of it. "Kegan do you sometimes feel like maybe this isn't where you are meant to be?"

His voice took a more serious tone as he pondered over the idea that maybe he wasn't the only one who felt this stirring within his heart. Rhys knew that after the Agoge he would be leaving to discover where this fire within him was leading him. He wanted so badly to be able to repair the damage he had done. He wanted there to be good will towards him and Kegan before he left. "Do you think you can forgive me? I don't know if I would be able to. Everything is just so different now." He doubted that he was making sense, but a part of him needed to have Kegan on his side. Kegan was the only one who really cared anymore. Liadan and Taranis had gone cold, not caring to play anymore. Each had their own determination to find their destiny, one without their siblings. He took a deep breath before nudging Kegan again, his muzzled lingering against his brothers side a moment longer than before. His journey was just beginning in front of him and he was a little frightened of the journey.

Kegan

OOC: Kegan is making me so sad! Sweet boy!

[Kegan]

I would much rather stay with you... Kegan heard the words right, and yet he was confused by them. Rhys, like the rest of his siblings, had never liked him; the smallest male was a joke, a useless mouth to feed, a mommy's boy. Why would Rhys rather stay with the most hated of his brothers than spar and play with Liadan, who was skilled and smart and sharp? Kegan was soft and quiet and easily hurt, which he supposed made him a good target. But his brother was not hurting him, not spewing out hateful or cutting words, and while it was a nice change, the smaller male was more confused than he was pleased. What prompted this change?

Before he could really say anything, Rhys was asking another question, one that Kegan had never thought about before. "What do you mean, Rhys?" he asked softly, tilting his head to the side curiously. If he meant the Agoge, then certainly--Kegan was no warrior, he never would be, and the fact that he was forced to participate in this game was beyond his comprehension. But if he meant Kairos... well, Kairos was where Roka was, and she was his everything. "I mean, mother is here... not here, but on Ina'mos. I'm sure I belong with her, wherever that is," he added, shrugging as if it were no question. Frowning, he scooted closer to his brother, peering into his eyes. "Don't you belong here, Rhys?"

When Rhys spoke again, Kegan was blindsided by his words. They traveled to his ears, and he comprehended them, but they shocked him all the same. Mouth hanging open slightly and a frown pulling his lips down, Kegan stared blankly at his brother, unsure of what to say. It had not been an apology, but rather a precursor to one--maybe. Rhys had never been the type to apologize for his actions, and there had been so many of them against Kegan that the smaller male couldn't begin to imagine him starting now. "What... I mean... you... Rhys," he said slowly, once he had gathered the courage to speak, despite it coming out as a confused jumble. "You... you were just doing what Liadan and Taranis did," he said lamely, turning his head away from his brother and casting his eyes downward.

It was so strange, to sit here with his brother and not be the subject of some cruel joke or word. To think that Rhys was on the verge, perhaps, of trying to apologize for what he and the others had done during their time in the dens... it was unfathomable. No one had ever apologized to Kegan, for anything, and the male didn't think anyone needed to. "I don't blame you, if that's what you're asking," he said after a moment, still staring at the ground. "But... I don't think I can forgive you if you don't apologize," he added, frowning at his brother.

Of course he would forgive Rhys, if the male chose to gather the right words and ask for it. What good was family if they did not forgive each other for past mistakes? So long as Rhys wanted Kegan to feel better, it would be good enough for him.

Words || 596
Tags || Rhys
Notes || That was BAD and I am sorry

[Rhys]

There was no comfort when Rhys heard that his little brother did not seem to understand the large brutes question. He had no way to explain it to the smaller brute since he didn't feel the same yearning to leave. There were no words to adequately describe his feelings. "I don't feel that way Kegan. I don't think that I belong here anymore." Those words were like a wrench deep in his gut causing pain to the multi hued brute. He hadn't been able to muster those words until this very moment because then they became real. Everything that he was working towards within Kairos would crumble around him. "Taranis is gone and I wonder if I am making the right choices staying here. Something within me is calling me away." If he chose to leave he would be hurting their family, more than he thought was imaginable. His mother and father, his brother and sister. They all meant the world to him and the thought of walking away caused him so much anguish. It explained his desperate need for Kegan's forgiveness. Rhys could not leave in good conscience until he was sure that he had fixed things between the two of them. Letting out a ragged breath the large male let the thoughts of his future leave. No matter how hard he tried to push those thoughts away he could never escape the feeling that he was needed somewhere else.



Listening to his brothers words it seemed that Kegan had not missed the fact that Rhys had not said an actual apology. Whatever pride was within Rhys he didn't care about it. He wanted to have a good relationship with Kegan, especially if he was leaving. "Kegan just because Liadan and Taranis did it doesn't make it right." The siblings had been cruel to the youngest brother, treating in a deplorable way. Rhys was ashamed of his actions, more than he had been in all of his life. The choices he had made that lad him to this place were nothing, not in the face of his outrageous behavior. He had no idea why he had done the things that he had done, for the person he was now found them repulsive. How had he ever been capable of hurting his own brother in such a away. "I know that I deserve any ill will that you have towards me. I am sorry for everything that I have done to you. How can you even stand to look at me? I am nothing better than a worm, lacking honor and compassion." That was not the person that he wanted to be. Not a cruel wolf who took his family for granted. "I am formally apologizing for any actions from me that have caused you pain or doubt past or present." Rhys was supposed to protect his siblings, to encourage them and love them. Instead he had been nothing but a selfish little shit for far to long.



His own self-respect was an enemy to him. Thinking that he was better or above those around him, but he was gone. Kegan had more strength and integrity than Rhys could ever hope to have.

Kegan

[Kegan]

Though he was not necessarily shocked that Rhys did not feel like he belonged in Kairos, he was confused as to why he was now speaking of it to his least favorite brother. There were many things that Kegan would have expected from his sibling, but this was not one of them. It spoke greatly to Rhys' character, and to his maturity, that he was at last apologizing for what he had done, but it was odd all the same. Even worse, the larger male seemed to be hurting as much as he had made Ke hurt, as though his cruelty had turned back upon him.

"Rhys, no one will blame you for leaving," he said quietly, carefully avoiding the apology in lieu of comforting his brother instead--after all he had done, all he had said, Kegan still only wanted his brother to be at peace. "If you don't belong here, you shouldn't stay. That'd be like... well. Me becoming a warrior," he added sheepishly, a small, hopeful smile lifting his face as he attempted to joke, to lighten the mood. He had spent his whole life beaten and sad, only finding the occasional patch of joy where he could, but Kegan could not stand to see his family look and feel as sad as he did every day. It tugged at his heart, and made him say things he didn't know he wanted to say, or he thought he couldn't.

"Mother will be sad, and maybe father too, but if you have to go, then go," Kegan repeated firmly, nodding his head once at his brother and setting a more serious, determined expression upon his face. "You're strong enough to go, and you won't ever be happy here. But..." and here he paused, his eyes softening, his body drooping slightly. "Will you come visit, sometimes?" he asked meekly, ears falling to the sides of his skull as he did.

Body shaking slightly, Kegan allowed barely a moment to pass between his words and his actions, and he found himself propelled forward, his neck and chest colliding with Rhys' just as he buried his muzzle in the thick fur of his brother's cheek. The young male had never embraced anyone but Roka, at least from the time he could open his eyes, and it was oddly comforting to feel the warmth of another wolf against his skin. "I forgive you, Rhys. Of course I forgive you," he whispered, his eyes and heart burning with pain and loss that he did not understand.

Rhys had been cruel, but he had a conscience about it, he knew he had done wrong, and he had righted it. There could have been hope for them, as brothers, if Rhys was not leaving, but at least he had taken the time to right their relationship before he disappeared. It was certainly more than Kegan would have thought to ask for.

Words || 530
Tags || Rhys
Notes || Oh gosh oh my this is sAD

[Rhys]

Kegan's words were soothing, comforting even as they washed over Rhys. The idea of leaving his pack was frightening, even if it was necessary. The fact that Kegan was so caring, so compassionate, during Rhys's time of doubt only proved he had character. While the larger brute had spent so much of his time teasing his brother. The silent and reserved nature of the multi hued male had always made Rhys envious of him. The closeness that he had shared with their mother. Rhys wasn't close with either of his parents, but perhaps that was his own fault. He was so wrapped up in himself that he couldn't see past it. All he could ever do is be selfish. That was his curse. "Kegan I am so afraid." The admission was quiet as a whisper. The warmth from Kegan, pressed against his chest felt so right. How could he have lived his whole life thinking that Kegan was some kind of weakling?

There were no words for the amount of regret he felt for his actions as a child. "Kegan I know that we teased you for being scared, but I am terrified. Why am I the one who feels this need to leave my home? What if I can't make it on my own?" Rhys leaned down to cuddle his little brother, drawing him closer against him. Whatever rift lay between them, he was determined to fix it. Kegan's confidence in him, gave him some hope that he could survive out in the wilds alone. Rhys had no idea how to live as a loner. A part of him wished he had spent more time with his mother, for she had lived that life for so long. Now it was time for him to be a good brother and soothe Kegan.

"Little brother, you could be a warrior if you really wanted to be. Just because you aren't huge like me or Taranis doesn't mean you can't do just as well. Liadan seems to manage just fine. Even if you don't want to be a warrior I will always support you." If Kegan could accept that he was leaving than Rhys would be damned if he could not accept whatever occupation that Kegan chose for himself. "Of course I will come visit. I... love you." The words were harder to say than he had anticipate. He didn't say those words all together. Not even with his own parents. While the feelings were there they were harder to acknowledge now that he was older. Feeling much of anything was becoming hard for him, not when all he wanted was to leave Kairos.

"Maybe you could come and adventure with me. If you ever wanted to, that is." There was so much of the world that they had yet to see. Ina'mos was a tiny part of the world that they lived in.

Kegan

[Kegan]

Seeing his brother in such a state--scared and timid, like Kegan typically was--had a dual effect on the smaller wolf. In the first place, he was terribly sad for his sibling; Rhys did not deserve to feel so conflicted and afraid, as he admitted freely, and Kegan did not want to see him this way. In the second place, however, it seemed to be giving the other strength, for he felt the need to comfort and assure his brother even though he had never been given the same treatment. Instead of pushing away, Ke wished to pull Rhys closer, to make sure he knew just how much he was loved and supported.

"Rhys, you're stronger than you know," Kegan said softly, pulling himself away from his brother but keeping the distance between them small, so that Rhys would know he was not leaving--not until they were both ready. They had gotten here to Vor'asa at the same time, or close to it, and they had plenty of days to complete their Agoge tasks. Kegan could stand on the cliff and talk to Rhys until there was nothing left to say. "You're young, but think of what you've already done. You swam here, to Vor'asa. You've learned to hunt and fight from Sabaoth, and Taranis, and Liadan. It'll be hard, probably, but the training from Kairos is hard for a reason. It's meant to strengthen us, and it has."

Though he used the word 'us,' Kegan did not feel as though he had been strengthened by the trials of the pack, but rather his own little family. Perhaps after retrieving his egg and returning to Ina'mos, he would feel more accomplished, but for now he was not convinced. His siblings, though, had taken everything that had been thrown at them and tossed it right back, growing stronger both mentally and physically at a rate that Kegan couldn't even process. His family was amazing, truly, and he felt so much love for his brother as he spoke to him, he could hardly process that Rhys was now comforting him.

Expressive brown eyes were cast down as Ke realized how kind his sibling was now being, and he turned away slightly to look out at the roiling ocean, a small and genuine smile on his face. "Thank you..." he said very quietly, his voice cracking slightly with the emotion held behind it. A strange, painful sensation pulsed in his chest, the knowledge that Rhys was leaving after this breakthrough causing conflict in his whole body. Why, why did it need to happen now? Now that Rhys understood that he had hurt him, and was making amends? It wasn't fair.

"I love you too, Rhys," was all he said in response, blinking his eyes rapidly as the landscape began to blur with tears. Kegan was not strong enough for this, could not deal with the loss of his brother this way. It was going to haunt him, the male could tell, until he broke completely--something he had somehow avoided through all the torture of his childhood. The offer to adventure with him was given, but Kegan knew he would never be confident or strong enough to not be a burden. Maybe a long, long time from now, once he had gotten the courage to ask his father, or his cousin, or Liadan came along... "We'll see, brother. I'll come visit if I can, but..." he paused, turning back to Rhys with an apologetic face. "I can't leave home, mum. Not any time soon."

Kegan took a long, shuddering type of breath, letting it out slowly before he spoke again. "Are you going to complete the Agoge? Or leave from here?" Ke asked shakily, feeling a slight tremble start in his paws and begin to work its way up.

Words || 694
Tags || Rhys
Notes || Would you mind taking this to the new site if it's gonna continue for a bit? I don't wanna miss out on points! o: