Now What?

[rainstar]

Athabasca stepped into the shadow-filled mines silently, checking for scent before she entered. She could only detect the scents of Taurus, Abyss, and the other femme, Naira. As the black she-wolf gazed down the seemingly endless corridor, shivers ran down her spine. She wondered how many wolves had gotten lost here, wandering in the darkness... She shivered, and turned briefly back to the other femme in a reassuring way.
"Taurus! I'm back, and I've brought the femme!" Athabasca howled, hoping that Taurus had returned by now, and also hoping that Abyss wasn't still here; she and her snobbery didn't take to Athabasca's liking at all. In fact, she even found herself a bit jealous that the femme had become a member of Exodus' pack before Atha did. This bothered her, and her soft, black ear twitched irritatedly before resting rigid against her skull.
"Taurus?"Turning to the white she-wolf, she shrugged as if to say that Taurus wasn't here, which she supposed he wasn't.
Oh well.
Stalking over to the shadowy corner of the den, Athabasca lay down and looked over at the pale femme.
"I guess we've got to wait."

[thalia]

Thalia suddenly stiffened, freezing in place. She felt, for the first time in her ordeal, like a real intruder. She felt like she was really disrupting a quiet moment meant to be shared between pack members. The unity, from what she remembered, went beyond family ties. They were bound to each other, bound to stick together through the worst and best of times. Her paws trembled for a moment before she regained composure. The choking, fevered fear remained in her features. She couldn't stay...no. She thought she'd go mad with the longing to feel accepted, loved. She shied away from the entrance of the dens, ears pinned to the top of her crown. A low whine emitted from the vocals in her throat, vibrating against her glossy fur and lithe muscles. "Acutally," she said, her voice the quiet ghost of conversation, "I...I don't think I should be here. I'm sorry for intruding, I really am. If you'd rather I wait, I will....just not in there. I'm not one of you...I'm...different. I'm sorry." she was composed apologetically, and, not waiting for the femme to answer, scampered away, swift and silent.

She was still in the mines after she'd stopped running. The wind was weak but not pleasant, stuttering against her slight form in a feeble attempt at trying to force her to leave. Thalia ignored it with an indignant snort. She'd walked past rows of collapsed mines, some barely held up by weak wooden pillars set up by the humans. She considered exploring one, getting lost and perhaps never found, but a moment later the idea struck her as absurd. She shook her head distastefully. "Suicide..." the word rolled off her tongue foreign and ominous. She hated the way it made her feel so weak...so vulnerable to the impulse of free will. The wind, she noticed carelessly, was stronger now, beating against her and throwing threads of her fur to the wind. There were crows, she realized with an angry grimace, calling jeeringly at her and glaring with their glassy stares. She looked up with absent eyes, noting the pallid color of the sky that peaked through the dark gray and purple clouds. She didn't care if it rained, actually, she quite liked the rain. But here, where thick clouds of dust and miniscule rock fragments were tossed up by the wind, she didn't think it would be pleasant. Still, she continued walking in a wide, arching circle until she found herself back at the entrance to the dens. She stared in with blank, unseeing eyes, pausing for a moment before continuing to walk.

"I've come full circle..." she said to no one in particular. The thought, the irony came to her in waves. It brought a strange, ghostly smile to her lips, but did not reach her eyes. They remained cold, reserved, uninterested. The liquid gold of her good eye had frozen solid to match the once river-blue, now frozen ice of her blind one. Gradualy, her gait slowed to a sluggish pull, and she slumped against the side of the hollow, rocky face. She stayed there for a long time, unmoving, unseeing, before one brave crow hopped in front of her cockily. It tilted its head, beady eyes alight with reserved curiosity, before it uttered a loud, questoning caw.

A loud snarl was building in Thalia's throat. Her eyes melted and turned to fire, and the snarl broke free to reverberate violently through the hollow caverns. The bird let out panicked noises, spreading its wings to the air, but it was too late. The snowy-hued wolf leaped into an atmosphere thick with dust and caught it by its wing. The bird uttered a strangled, throaty cry and fell to her feet, still moving its head in disbelief.

"You're disgusting." she spat. Her eyes found a place half way between ice and liquid. A flicker of remorse, a flicker of her old self flashed across her face and disappeared as quickly as it came. She couldn't afford weakness, and with the thought her eyes froze solid, distant and reserved. She stood and walked away leisurley, smiling in cold satisfaction as the bird croaked a lasting death call that rang in her ears. With mild, bitter curiosity she realized the other birds had stopped watching her.

[rainstar]

Athabasca whipped her head around as the white femme shied away, curling her lip in a frustrated snarl.
How am I going to explain this to Taurus?!
Rising to her paws in a very aggressive manner, she stalked over to the entrance of the den and looked around for the she-wolf, but she was no where to be seen. Rushed paw steps echoed in the darkness, making Athabasca's ears jump to the left. She growled in a mixture of amusement and anger.
"Wrong way!" Snorted the black femme, assuming that the newcomer was attempting to escape. Shaking her head, she padded off after the she-wolf.

~*~

"Where the hell are you?" Howled Athabasca furiously. She was not only angry at the she-wolf for running off, but angry at herself for chasing after her, for now she was lost. Definitely lost. Trembling, she looked around for a familiar sign, but there was none; only darkness and one collapsed mine shaft after another.
Snap out of it Atha!
The black femme regained her composure, raising her head high and glaring frustratingly into nothingness. A particularly dark place caught her eye; An uncollapsed shaft!
This must be the one!
As she padded sheepishly toward to gaping mouth of the passage, she began to doubt she would ever see light again. But she took a deep breath and stepped in anyways, scolding herself and assuring that this was, indeed, the right way.
As she moved through the corridor, she was delighted to see a faint light in the distance. Her cautious gait broke into a full-on run, and her paw steps thundered through the silent shadows like a storm. But soon, even her footsteps seemed a bit louder than they should have been, so Athabasca stopped running and was still. Sure enough, the rumbling continued, and Atha's heart froze.
"No!" she screeched, rearing around and desperately making for the exit. Her eyes widened with terror as she saw before her, falling stones and clouds of dust.
No way out! No way out! Keep running!
As she whirled around, her paws spun in the air and she was running before she hit the ground. She pelted down the corridor, more terrified than she had ever been in her life. She panted as she ran for her life, and yelped when a falling stone struck her back. Athabasca helplessly tumbled and skidded to a halt on the ground, and dust showered over her, followed by a heavy hail of debris and stone.
"Help! Taurus! Abyss! Help!"she howled in pain, dragging herself across the floor. A huge rumble echoed above her and she looked up, her blue eyes turning to ice. A huge support beam came crashing down on top of the dusty, bleeding black femme, and a agonized wail rang high in the air, then all was silent except for the slow patting of falling stones.
I'm not dead... I'm not dead.. I'm... Not... Dead...

[thalia]

Thalia had been out of the mines for a while, still walking about the general vicinity. She had no plans to leave; no, she deserved to be reprimanded. 'Perhaps I'll be killed.' she mused thoughtfully. It would take one hell of a burden off her shoulders; she was not one to view death as heavily as others. To her it was simply a passing, a transition per se, to another world. A more peaceful one.

For her, there'd probably be hell. She'd join her father, her brother, if he was dead. The thought brought a bitter smile that shattered the ice of her eyes. The only person she'd ever miss was dear Silas, so kind-hearted and pure....

Her train of thought halted for no particular reason. At first she thought it was the sudden darkening of the sky, the drops of rain that stained the red rock walls dark red...but then she realized it was a faint rumbling. Some incoherent yells, and a much louder crash, then silence. Thalia froze, her ears pricked, hackles raised. She was tense, and she didn't even know why.

And that's when she started to run. She saw the unnatural cloud of dust billowing in the air, thicker and somehow more ominous than the particles kicked up by the wind. She reached it in record time, barely panting. Tiny rocks were still tumbling from the small hole near the high top of the crumbled mine entrance. It was obviously a fresh collapse, that much she could gather. Whether or not someone was trapped there, however...she bit her lip.

Slowly she climbed up the unstable rocks, poking her nose though a small crevice. The smell inside was nauseous. Blood was thick in the air, and the smell of the femme who'd brought here here was there to. She was stuck, her breaths shallow. Thalia trembled as a silent sob wracked her body. She thought herself infuriatingly slow, wasting time and energy when there was someone in there, stuck, near death. She didn't feel she had enough strength, or energy to save her.

"I have to try." she murmured, her voice distilled. Slowly she looked for a place to start, and found a loose, medium-sized stone. With her paws she clawed at it, and it clattered to the floor beside her. The fresh air outside was tainted, perhaps by the metallic scent of blood that fell in waves from the small entrance. It made her head reel, but she ignored it, clawing desperately to find some means of freedom. She was just as trapped as the other wolf; not physically, but mentally. She would not rest until the wolf was freed, or the thought would plague her for the rest of her natural existence.

The time lagged, and after a while she became aware of how hungry she was. The rumbles came and went in heavy waves, and fatigue pulled at her lids. She had succeeded in enlarging the window of light just a bit further, and the ground around her was littered with rocks. But she became unsure of how she would finish this. In aching absence, she pulled a few large stones away, making the window at least twice as big as it was before. Thalia blinked. Darkness seemed to emanate from the hole, but she realized with a minimal thrill that she could just squeeze her thin form through the face. Getting there, however was another matter. She climbed the jagged stones, scraping her paws and legs to bloody, unrecognizable pillars, until she fit herself through the hole and jumped. She landed in an uncomfortable heap just a few inches away from a jagged stalagmite. She shivered as she watched its lethal point glare menacingly to the ceiling.

She took a breath and the rancid smell of blood caused her to gag. She'd always that smell, and ate her food breathing through her mouth. The stench was worsened as it came from a living breathing wolf. She took a calm breath to steady herself, and worked on sniffing the scent to its origin. The feat was mind numbing for her, but she managed to find a dark, barely moving clump under a collapsed beam. With a great effort she moved the pillar. It was light, termites had eaten holes and made it soft and rotten, but the rocks on top of it made it hard to maneuver.

Thalia moved to the enlarged entrance of the cavern, stuck her head out and sang a loud, reverberating howl. "One of your packmates - the black female - is injured. Please, come and help. I have not the strength to help any more than I have already." Slowly she padded back to the unmoving form, exhausted but still confident that she had some life left in her.

"Hello?" she called to her softly. She waited, trembling and anxious, for the wolf to stir or say something to relieve the anxiety building up inside her.

[rainstar]

I'm not dead... I'm... not... dead... dead...
Athabasca moaned in pain, blood gurgling and dribbling from her stained mouth and pooling around her head and soaking her dusty black fur. Opening her eyes, she lay crushed beneath the mass of boulders and wood, struggling to breathe. The thick, sickening smell of blood filled her nostrils and teased her mind. Her body quivered and shook as she slowly dragged her head along the ground so she could see what had become of her broken body. The horror she saw made her sick to her stomach and she turned away, convulsing violently in shock.
I'm going to die. Someone help me please! I don't want to die- not like this!
The sudden tumbling of rocks made Athabasca flinch, but she relaxed a bit more when she realized that it was only the other femme trying to dig her out. Coughing and sputtering, the black femme feebly managed to raise her head and whimper a few words to her rescuer.
"Get... Taurus..."
Athabasca's head flopped back down to the ground and her body gave a great shudder. She could feel and smell her own blood gushing from her body and staining the ground; it was nausiating and Atha's eyes rolled back in her head. Suddenly, part of the crushing weight was lifted and her broken ribcage heaved, taking in the air she had been starved of. Athabasca's breath came in shallow, choking gasps and she whimpered.
"Don't let me die.. Like this...."
Athabasca wasn't afraid of death itself, but she had always imagined her passing would be honourable, not a carnage in a mineshaft; a foolish and fatal mistake.

[thalia]

Thalia looked away, unable to bear seeing her tortured, broken body like this. No one deserved to die among splintered wood and rocky crags, and a pang of remorse reverberated through her shriveled heart for all the other wolves who had met a similar fate. 'No.' she reprimanded herself sharply. 'Don't think like that. She's not dead, not yet. She glared at the bloody shafts that served as her legs, but now that seemed like a minor wound compared to the things she'd seen within the past three minutes.

"Taurus...could you tell me where he is?" she said, her voice a ghostly whisper. The sight of blood, spattered haphazardly over the walls, sickeningly pooled around a barely moving wolf who had, maybe a lifetime ago, dragged Thalia out here, brought Thalia to the past. Her eyes crystallized and glazed over as a suppressed memory resurfaced. The pain ripped her chest open and her heart swelled grotesquely, an ugly black color. She kneeled downard, silent sobs wracked her body with every image that flared through her mind. She was able to cut them into singular snippets, partial facts and torn memories, and it helped her to keep her body and mind from splitting open entirely.

____________________

"Keep trying, keep living."

--

Wide, mismatched eyes froze in horror as a lean silver body collapsed with a violent shudder before her. She emptied the contents of her stomach as a sickening half sneer, half smirk spread over her father's crazed face. "It seems as if our meal for today is ready. Fresh."

--

His blood's metallic, sickening scent was thick in the air, spilling over her lips, still warm. Tears leaked freely from her torn eyes, mixing with the blood and dropping to the dry grasses below her. "Why, papa? What did Sily do?" she choked out, her voice a terrified whisper.

____________________

By now the wolf's half-shrieking, half sobbing cries echoed through the hollow caverns in pain. Never wavering, it wracked her body in waves each time bringing a hammer down on her thick, black heart. Thalia didn't think it would end, and she wished she'd suffered the physical pain of the wolf before her to spare her this mental, aching, tearing feeling.

It was over as soon as it had come, and she knew because she could feel the blood roaring hot and fast in her ears, and was half surprised it didn't flow freely from the open, aching hole in her chest. Even more surprising was that, when she looked down, it was normal; there was fur, skin, and no huge, gaping hole exposing her now shrivelled heart. Thalia sucked in deep breaths, each bringing a new wave of peace to her pounding head. She composed herself, trying but barely succeeding to steady her emotions.

She looked to the other wolf with uncertainty, biting her lip and finally beginning to speak. "I'm sorry you had to see that...it wasn't meant for your eyes. I don't need you worrying about me when, obviously, you're he one in real trouble..." she wasn't sure the wolf had heard her; she seemed on the brink of conciousness, but Thalia tried for a smile. It came out as a healf-hearted grimace, and she mentally reprimanded herself for it.

She leaned closer to the window of light, hoping to get a wiff of fresh air to curb the nauseating swirl of her mind. No such thing came to her; it seemed life hated her so much it wouldn't even grant her this dignity.

{ooc}
Status: unfinished finished
Word Count: 665
Mood: Terrified, waiting to get away from the scent of blood.
{/ooc}

[rainstar]

Athabasca's head spun with pain and dizziness and her eyes half-closed with agonized exhaustion.
"Taurus...could you tell me where he is?"
Trying her hardest to think past the excruciating pain and terror, Atha recalled the last place she had seen the white male.
"Edge.. of.. forest... He's with... Koli.." she managed to stutter through gasping breaths; her pained words weren't the only thing dribbling from her mouth. But she knew she had to be strong if she were to pull through this. Gathering up all her strength, Atha hauled the front, more movable half of her body up, and propped herself on her elbows, only to collapse to the blood-stained ground. Behind where she could see, she felt blood spilling out onto the floor and shuddered fearfully, afraid to look back. So instead she lay down as gently as possible, which was difficult given the painful spasms that overtook her body. The black wolf kept telling herself that she wasn't going to die; that Taurus and the others would come and she'd be alright. But in the back of her mind, she knew she was near death, and it scared her. Never had she felt so frightened, not even when she had woken one fall morning to discover her own pack being destroyed. Somehow, it just didn't compare. Although she loved them dearly, the sight of her nearly destroyed body and the fact that her own blood was all she could sense had scarred her mind the instant her eyes beheld it.

[athaza]

Paws pounded against the dirt and dust was flung into the air as Taurus ran to the mines as fast as his legs could take him. Eyes were narrowed and focused while he saw the mines in the horizon. After he had heard the howl in the woods his stomach had tightened even more with worry. He couldn’t afford one of the pack members to get injured there first day on the terrain. It was either Abyss or Athabasca who had gotten wounded in the mine. Both options were equally possible and if it was Abyss than Naira might be injured as well. “Crap...” he hissed at that thought. Of all days for the mine to shatter, it had to be today! Eyes for a second glanced at the skies, again thinking about his bad luck.

As he got towards the entrance the smell of blood dispersed into the air. Quickly Taurus started breathing from his mouth instead of his nose in order for him to not go crazy with blood-lust. This was even worse than the deer that was devoured earlier. He was hungry, the smell of blood was everywhere, and there was no one to stop him if anything went wrong. Yeah. Great situation. His pace didn’t slow down till he entered the cave and saw the destruction everywhere. Black claws dug into the ground as he skidded to a stop, and eyes widen continuing to look over all the rubble and debris. Everything was just awful. Not even the greatest optimist could think of one line to make this scene look less glum. It only took two more steps to see the two she-wolves close to each other. One was covered in blood while the other was dirty but appeared unharmed.

Taurus took a deep breath of air, even if it was full of dust, just to cool his nerves. He knew this was no time to think about what was going to happen in the future, but to focus on the present. To his horror he didn’t know who either these wolves were. The white female must have been the intruder in the Woods, but he could barely recognize the bloody black dame. Timidly, he took a small sniff of the air only to be engulfed by the scent of blood and fear. Eventually he linked the barely noticeable wolf scent to a name. It was Athabasca. Barely hours ago she had been with him and Koli. Now she was a bloody mess.

“Thank you for helping her,” he briskly mentions to the white female before coming to Athabasca’s side. Taurus had no medical knowledge; he was no shaman. Organizing his thoughts, he thought it would be best to keep Athabasca awake and prevent her from going into shock. Gazing at the blood slipping from her mouth he could only imagine she had some internal damage. “Athabasca, can you hear me?” he asked coolly appearing calm. “You have to stay with me, okay? Don’t you dare go anywhere,” There was emphasis on the word dare. He wasn’t going to lose a packmember. Not today or anytime soon.

His gaze shifted to Thalia and he wondered if she had any medical experience. The thing that stopped him from asking was Athabasca being right next to them. If she for a second doubted he could help her, she might give up. Anyway, the female would have been helping her when he had arrived. “Athabasca can you move anything? Where does it hurt the most?” As he asked that his eyes trailed over her bloody body. It was going to be a challenge trying to figure out what was bleeding and what simply had blood on it. If Taurus could he’d like to move her outside where the air was fresher. His pessimistic mind could only imagine another support beam shattering within the mine and burying them all.

[rainstar]

A muffled sigh of relief escaped from the black femme's bloodied lips as she heard the frantic pawsteps of another wolf echoing closer.
Taurus!
She looked up as best she could and saw Taurus standing above her, like an angel. For a moment she wondered if he was, if she was dying, and if it would all be over soon.
“Athabasca can you move anything? Where does it hurt the most?”
Athabasca feebly shook her head. She had tried to get up earlier, but she was too weak and broken to move without further damaging her mangled, bloody mess of a body. She was hurting and quivering all over, unsure of what to think.

"I'm... torn..." she whimpered to Taurus, glancing fearfully at her middle, which had been ripped open by the falling stones and piercing wood splints. She closed her eyes in horror. She hadn't got a good look at her body, but she had seen enough to make her feel utterly sick and helpless. That and the nausiating stench of her own blood made her feel like vomiting where she lay.
"It hurts everywhere... I think my legs are broken..." she cried painfully, blood filling her mouth and gurgling down her chin.
My god, what happened to me?

Suddenly her blue eyes fluttered open and fixed on Taurus with a pleading, terrified look.
"I don't want to die, Taurus. Please, don't let me die... I want to join the Salen.. I want to have a mate and cubs before I die..." Athabasca trailed off, exhaustion gripping her as her body convulsed once again. What she said was true, and she doubted it no longer. She wanted to be a member of the Salen pack, and feel what it was like to have responsibility for others besides herself. She wanted to have a mate, and have cubs of her own, and raise them with the loving care of a drappa.

"I want to live..."

[koli]

Koli knew that he had never run so fast in his life, he could hardly feel the earth beneath his paws as he ran with Tarus, Koli was young, but he was weak from, hunger. And found himself struggling to keep up with Tarus. Which only aggrovated him and made him more determined to run faster. Koli was putting all his remaining strength into running, and he could feel his energy draining. He had to... he just had to get there soon.

Seeing what Koli assumed to be the mines, he narrowed his eyes and pushed himself to go faster, dust and muck flung everywhere, occasionnaly spraying into his eyes and onto his toungue. But Koli didn't care, he could smell the worry and concern on Tarus, and it only made him nervous. Something bad had happened, and Koli assumed that the wolf's howl that he had heard had been another pack member. And alothough Koli wasn't part of the pack, he felt his heart ache as he thought about what might have happened to the wolf who was in danger.

“Crap...” Koli's eyes darted to Tarus and he whined, he had no idea how much torment the wolf was probably going through. Koli had never really been close to anyone.. except for his mother. And her death still loomed over him, even to this day. And he had never run a pack.. or looked after one. Well, in a sense he had. But danger had never occured. So Koli felt concern for Tarus, because he knew the wolf was probaly in agony right now. "I'm sure everything is fine." Koli said panting as they reached the mines. But even Koli doubted his words as the scent of blood reached his nostrils.

Looking around, he saw two wolves a white one and a black one. Whining Koli sniffed at the two and he realised that the black wolf had been the very female; Athabasca that he had met not too long ago. Whining he looked at her with sadness, though he hardly knew her. It hurt to see her in this state, and it brought back painful memories of his mother. "A-Athabasca" He said nudging her gently with his nose. "Please, stay with us" He said shaking as the fear of her dying gripped him. He couldn't bear to watch her die. You have to stay with me, okay? Don’t you dare go anywhere, Koli turned to Tarus, his eyes shaking as he whined. "Please say she'll be okay Tarus." He said quietly.

I'm... torn Koli put his tail between his legs and whined. This was all a bit too much for him. Though Athabasca in a way had wished death upon him; Koli didn't want to see her like this. Even in his anger, he would not wish a fate like this on any wolf... especcialy a female. It was too much of a cruel fate. I don't want to die, Taurus. Please, don't let me die... I want to join the Salen.. I want to have a mate and cubs before I die Hearing the sadness in the she wolf Koli snorted and put his worry and sadness in the back of his mind. No way was he going to let her die now. Not when she had such dreams, dreams of such hope and beauty. "Athabasca." He growled softly. "Listen to me... you're not going to die. I'm going to try and find something that will make you better. I swear it, I swear by my very life, you're not going to die..... I won't allow it." He said trying to keep his voice steady and calm.

[/font]

[thalia]

The white femme shifted uncomfortably, furthering her distance from the bloody mess dubbed Athabasca. No fresh air wafted towards her, not even a breath of stale air funneled through the cavern. She inclined her head towards the crude hole in the face of rock, and with a pang she saw the window of light reflecting dimly off of the crimson gore spattered over the walls. It danced on particles of dust that spiraled lazily through the stagnant air, shifting in and out of the shaft of cursed light. Thalia felt her stomach churn gracelessly, and she wanted out of the stifling environment before ripples of painful memories decided to show upon the sight of blood.

Thankfully her attention was averted to a worried-looking white male. She glanced at him uneasily as he spoke. "Thank you for helping her." Thalia shook her head apologetically, frowning before she lifted her head to meet his gaze. A tremor of guilt rippled along her spine, fizzling into nothingness at the tip of her tail. It was as if the dire situation Athabasca was in was just beginning to dawn on the white femme, and it was all her fault. All because she was selfish, because she wanted a home. To think that another wolf would die because of her mistake, because of something that could have been as easily avoided as turning in the other direction and walking... Her brow creased and she felt useless tears prickling her mismatched optics."I didn't....do anything... helpful."she said slowly, fighting the sting of tears. She shook her head again and a tear made its slow trail down her dusty fur.

"If anything....I....I" the tremors came more easily now, rocking her body hard and fast. The floodgates behind her eyes had opened, and the tears left wet trails down her cheeks. She sat, rocking back and forth and looking suddenly small and guilty, like a scolded child, as the droplets punctured the air and left muddy patterns on the ground. She felt insignificant yet hugely part of this, of everything. She didn't think she could live with herself if she up and left right then and there. A final, slow, agonizing shiver wracked her body, and she became still as a marble sculpture. Slowly but surely, her features steeled, eyes carving a home halfway between ice and fire, and silent tears still trickled from her tortured eyes. When she spoke her voice was quiet, reserved. Her lips barely moved but the words came out formal and enunciated. "If anything...I've gone and...and killed her."

She was lost, lost in a dark, empty abyss. Tears blurred her vision against the grotesque scene, something for which she was grateful. But she wasn’t there, no. Her mind’s eye fought between an empty, veiled existence and the horrifically true reality for which she was present only in body. She was being yanked on both ends like a child, following only the more dominant presence. A raging internal battle left her numb, waiting for the final call, waiting in reserved curiosity for the cold rush of air to bring her into or out of hell.

And then she, acting only as passive cargo, leapt gracefully into the darkness following behind her mind, and she felt her features go blank in the real world. But here, in this safe, dark reality, she was cleansed of all scars, all blood, all dirt. She was twirling and spinning and watching her colored trail leave imprints in her eyes. Undoubtedly she was restricted here, restricted by her freedom, but the thought hadn’t quite settled in her mind yet. There was no emotion present in the vacant cavern of her body, nothing but a perceptive glow. She felt nothing, heard nothing, but she saw. Oh what she saw. What used to make her body ache with sadness was being sifted through by her, their owner. Memories were now just moving pictures, careless chains cut loose – as if she were watching a movie about someone else. She tried for a bitter laugh of triumph, but there was no sound. Like text on a page, it was not real, it was simply there, absent and fulfilling all at the same time.

And then a hollow pang reverberated through the empty cavern that served as her chest, like a gong, cold and unfeeling. She wanted those feelings back, she realized. This numbness was terrible, this cursed indifference. She was loosing herself, and as surprising as that would have been what seemed like a lifetime ago, here in this veiled nothingness it felt just like that – nothing, absent. She twisted and curled, trying to find remorse or pain or, though it was a long stretch, maybe even happiness, but her empty body shined brilliantly only in its perceptiveness.

But there was soon another encroaching light. At first, she thought it was light. But it was another moving image, another memory where she could see emotions being played out over faces, in eyes, body language. Only then she realized a sudden, meaningless epiphany – that this wasn’t a memory, rather a window into the present. She observed her body, looking dirty and tattered but with strange, vacant, irresponsive features. She saw the dying black wolf, who hardly looked a wolf at all. And lastly her gaze caught the white male, who seemed like he was genuinely trying to help, but really didn’t have the knowledge. Curiously she noted the window from which she was seeing this did not stop growing, but rather continued to grow until it was a hole, and she was stuck between the natural world and her safe, guarded existence. Already she could feel the terror she was so accustomed to creeping in through her legs, but numbness still held her, bound her to the other world.

She considered the pros, the cons, the risks, the benefits. And as much as she hated her black world, she was scared. Scared that the feelings of guilt, sorrow, would consume her and then she’d lose her mind and be forced to stay there forever, unfeeling, bound by freedom. She momentarily pulled herself into the darkness and the terror instantly vanished, replaced by nothing. The window began closing and she could feel a distant echo of panic encroach upon her numbness, growing stronger, now blinding, terrifying in its concentration. She ripped, tore, clawed her way through the window and terror joined panic as she fell, unseen by wolvish eyes, into her body.

Upon this a wavering breath coursed through her body, and she exhaled sharply. The time that passed couldn’t have been over a few seconds, but it felt like eras had passed in their place. She felt her body, her mind, the blood roaring hot and fast through her ears, the terror and guilt that coursed simultaneously with it. She felt each breath, an extended sentence of life with each that ran its course. How could the hollow shell compare to this, this living, breathing, feeling contraption swimming in a pool of guilt and sorrow and…acceptance. She had been accepted, if only temporarily, if only until this wolf healed, but accepted. A thin, wavering smile traced her lips, creased her eyes, before the silent façade was in its place once more.

{ooc}
Status: unfinished finished
Word Count: 1125
Mood: Guilty, terrified, but she feels accepted.
{/ooc}

[rainstar]

As she glanced around fearfully, Athabasca saw the wolf she has snapped at earlier, by the woods. Her eyes softened and a feeling of guilt settled over her.
"Listen to me... you're not going to die. I'm going to try and find something that will make you better. I swear it, I swear by my very life, you're not going to die..... I won't allow it."
Hearing such determined words from a wolf she had met only a few hours ago, she couldn't help but chuckle. The choked laugh came out contorted and sounded more like a cough.
"I'm sorry about what I said earlier," she said softly. "I shouldn't have said it. I'm sure people would care if.. If it were you in this mess. I hope you'll forgive me."
As she spoke her apoligies to the wolf, whose name she did not even know, a fierce determination gripped her.

Taking as deep of a breath as she could, she lifted her head and slid her arms so that they lay pressed beneath her body. From there, she pushed upward as hard as she could until her torso was off the ground, and she leaned against the wall. Since she couldn't seem to move her back legs, she outstretched her paws and dragged her self along the blood-soaked ground until she was no longer concealed beneath the wreckage. There, she collapsed, exhausted and panting heavily.

There was no way she was giving up now, not when there was still so much to live for.
Hell no, I'm not finished yet.
BUt even as she willed her body not to give up, she wondered how she would survive after this... Would she be crippled for the rest of her life?
Athabasca shuddered at the thought of being completely useless, and pushed it out of her mind.

She looked up, and seeing the worried faces of the wolves around her, tried to lighten the mood as best she could by smiling, but it was a weak smile and they would probably tell that she didn't mean it.

[athaza]

Ears flattened again on his head, not out of worry or concern, but sensing all the emotions racing around the mine. He wasn’t one to oppress expressing yourself, but crying and whimpering wasn’t exactly going to help Athabasca, was it? Eyes traced over the other white female, watching her go through some emotional episode or conflict within herself. It wasn’t completely obvious, yet could put the pieces together with the signs she was giving them. He wanted to tell her it wasn’t her fault, but than again it might be. Taurus hadn’t been around when all this happened and maybe it wasn’t an accident. He’d have to ask them later so he could give Exodus an accident report when he got back. Trepassers, a hunt, and an accident. The alpha had missed a lot…

“Please say she'll be okay Taurus." The male’s words made his head turned and it surprised him how a misfortune could change a person. Koli had acted tough and strong before, now he was whimpering like a helpless pup. The male had to get through his head that he could help. That he didn’t have to sit there like a staring rock watching while others try to figure out how to resolve this situation. His weakness would make Athabasca weak. This crying, this useless talking, wasn’t going to do anything. Action did things. Grieving and mourning over your own self-pity could be taken care of after everything was said and done. Taurus knew this thinking was harsh, even cold, but it was the way his mind worked when he was put into a predicament like they were in right now. “Pull yourself together.” he barked at Koli, a little colder than needed. This hysteria was unnecessary…

Turning his head back to Athabasca he was surprised by her wishes and the pressure she was suddenly putting on him. Immediately his mood shifted to make the black female more comfortable. “You’ll be fine,” he said kindly now, looking into her eyes. “You should stop talking though. By talking you increase your blood flow and blood loss. Just stay put and don’t move.” These facts hadn’t come out of complete air, as some would suspect. He remembered a tidbit or two what his parents taught him; he wasn’t completely hopeless when it came to biology. To his dislike she moved anyway, yet he didn’t take the time and scold her. Time was of the essence. Taking a few steps after her he eyed the gash and a frown appeared on his face. “I’m going to have to put pressure on it okay? Otherwise you’ll bleed out,” he informed her. Before waiting for consent he put his paws on the gash, being careful to not put his whole weight on it nor dig his claws into it. Without looking at Koli he asked, “Could you find some way to get water or something? After her cut starts forming a scab it would be nice to pour some water on it so it’s clean. “ It was more of a demand rather than asking for a favor. He knew it was risky enough putting his own, probably dirty, paws on top of her cut. What else could he do though? If he went to wash is paws they’d just get dirty on the way back and she’d probably be dead by the time he returned.

[koli]

If anything...I've gone and...and killed her."
Turning to the white wolf, Koli snapped at them, not caring if he hurt them or not. He was somewhat blind with rage. How dare they let such a thing happen to Athabasca. How dare they let something like this happen to any wolf. Even if Koli had never met Athabasca. His anger would still be the same.

I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I shouldn't have said it. I'm sure people would care if.. If it were you in this mess. I hope you'll forgive me." Koli smiled softly and shook his head. "Shh, rest." He said softly "And don't worry, you are forgiven, i've always found it hard to have anger towards females." He said softly, trying to keep her occupied so that she would forget her pain. "And you were right, there would be none to care. I'm sure my family would not care, and you.. you are only strangers." He said trying to keep his voice calm as he spoke to the injured femme.

Pull yourself together.” Glaring at Tarus, Koli returned the cold bark. Koli didn't appreciate Tarus' tone with him. Koli had every right to be upset and to panic. Koli had only just met the female and now she was lying at his feet in pain. And in some ways, Athabasca looked similar to his mother. And the guilt of her death was sinking into Koli, which only made the situation worse.

Watching as the femme tried to move he growled. How could she do that to herself? Didn't she know she was making it worse? She had to keep still and make sure she didn't fall asleep, she had to stay calm and keep still. Snorting, Koli walked away quickly and loked at the surrounding area. Trying to find some medical herbs that would help her wound. His father's pack Shawman had taught him a lot, they had thought it important if he was to be Alpha... and it was also when the Shawman taught Koli how to deal with his anger. Koli had enjoyed those moments, it was a time when he could break away from the hold his father had over him and just be himself.

Could you find some way to get water or something? After her cut starts forming a scab it would be nice to pour some water on it so it’s clean. Turning his head towards Tarus, Koli picked up a Agrimony and placed them at Tarus' feet. "These should help ease the pain, i'll be back soon with the water" Koli said before dashing off towards the nearest river.

~*~

Coming up to the river, Koli panted quickly and lapped up some of the water. Shaking himself, he sat down and tried to regain his breath. He'd never run like this before, and he was starting to get worn out. He knew that if he carried on like this, it would be him who would be lying on the ground dying.

"Now... how to carry water." He said to himself as he remembered his instructions. Jumping into the river he allowed the water to fully soak his coat, he was trying to work out it this method would work, plus it was cooling him down. Climbing out of the river he shook the water off of his fur and watched the water spray in different direction. "Not good enough" Koli said growling in anger. Why had he been given such a hard and impossible task? In a way, Athabasca's life was in his paws, and if he didn't act soon, she could die. "What about holding it in my mouth?" He said questioning himself. As he lapped at the water and tried to hod it in his mouth. But the longer he held it, the more he struggled, and he found the water was slowly trickling down his throat. "Curses" He snarled spitting the water out.

Whining, Koli layed on the floor and put a paw over his head, why was this happening? This was just like his mother's death.... no.. it was worse. Both times he had a chance to save them, only this time, Koli was trying to do something and failing... with his mother he just acted on instinct and ran; leaving her to die. Sniffing in sadness, Koli closed his eyes. He could just imagine it now... he'd come back... and she'd be dead. And Tarus, and the rest of the Salen pack would look at him with hateful eyes... they would blame him... he'd be cast out, and cursed to wonder the world alone.

No. He wouldn't let that happen, he couldn't. Filled with determination and a new hope as he thought about Athabasca's beauty, he sprang to his feet and howled. He was going to help her, he was going to bring water for her. Even if it was the last thing he ever did. Running around the lake, he saw a brozed branch, looking closely at it, he saw that it collapsed inwards, making a perfect bowl like shape. Wagging his tail, Koli dragged the branch into the water and watched as it filled up with water. "Hold on Athabasca. He mumbled as he dragged the branch out I'm coming

[whoo 940 words]

[rainstar]

"Just stay put and don’t move."
Athabasca eyed Taurus as she understood and watched Koli scamper off for water, her heart beating mercilessly. She truly hoped Koli knew what he was doing... But she had to trust him.
Moss. Moss is the best way to carry water, Koli.
Wincing, she lay her head down and closed her eyes, trying to calm down, but to no avail.

A sense of doubt hung in the air as Athabasca lay bleeding, and she nodded as best she could to Taurus when he took a few steps toward her. “I’m going to have to put pressure on it okay? Otherwise you’ll bleed out,”
Her tail wagged almost unnoticeably in reply. She knew Taurus was right, but it was going to hurt.
"Get me a short stick.. please," she whispered hoarsely, hoping he could hear her. She could barely hear herself, for her ears were ringing fear and her heart was thumping so violently she thought her chest would burst, and the feeling of doubt and utter hopelessness lingering in the air seemed to be screaming at her to give up as the minutes passed.

I am not going to give up. Never. Not on my life... I have never given up on anything, and I am not going to start now.
She growled faintly with determination, but the bravery did not take the pain away. The excruciating pain was something she'd have to pucker up and go through with, like the time she broke her leg while fighting... or the time she was captured by humans... or the weeks she spent dying in a sewage pipe...