Vada gave a light smile to Zena's comment on her being sweet. It was so different hearing anything nice from someone else. Growing up in the test center most of the the others were so damaged no of them were what you call friendly. She could tell Zena was only trying to ruffle up Kiddo by now but it was still a kind gesture for her to welcome her. After all they arrived around the same time.
Her gaze returned to Kiddo's confused look on his face. He was contemplating on her fate within the pack as she told him she was basically banished to the island, she could tell. Vada hadn't ever told anyone about her story for this reason and that no one had ever really cared to ask her about her story. "I was shipped her in a wooden crate... It's kind of a long story that you probably don't wish to hear at the moment.." Her gaze fell to Zena then back to Kiddo. She wasn't interested in telling someone her life's past when their attention was divided. After all she still only barely knew these two and so far they were still in conflicting moods at the time.
Hearing Kiddo say she was "banished" brought her back to her past. Was I really banished... maybe that's why I don't really fit in much... Vada thought as she awaited a response from one of them. They were kind of back and forth on each other and her and it was a bit strange but tolerable. Things would take some getting used to around here if was always to be like this, back and forth temper mental drama.
Kiddo decided to leave Zena to her own thoughts as she seemed to not be speaking to him again. He decided to focus his attention of Vada who was actually speaking him. He related to her story. He too, had been moved here on a wooden crate but, he wasn't ready to share that with her just yet. Or ever. He wasn't sure he could trust anyone anymore. He was scared to lose the faes but he was also scared to get close to them. It was going to require him to walk a fine line with them between keeping them close, but not too close. It was going to be hard. Everything he had to do was hard. He didn't understand why something, anything couldn't be easy for him. It seemed like everything was a struggle.
His full attention was was on Vada now and couldn't care less about what Zena was doing. If she wanted his attention again, she would need to ask for it. Kiddo could hear in her voice with the last part of her sentence that she didn't want to share the rest of her story but, he wanted to hear it. It must have been at least a little similar to his and he finally could speak with someone that he could relate to, at least a little bit, when it comes to past experiences. He didn't know much about Zena's past but, now wouldn't be the correct time to ask her about them. He would wait until her random nonsense of anger had passed. I would like to hear your story. He was being honest with the black fae and genuine with her. He knew that it was the only way that she would talk to him. He didn't even think about wether speaking in front of Zena would be uncomfortable or not. His eyes showed his honesty and his genuine reason for the question. His eyes always exposed him.
Detecting the genuine tones coming from Kiddo's raspy voice, Vada looked to his eyes. They too seemed to want to hear her story... it was odd to her. Someone really cares.. or a least enough to ask twice .. She thought as his eyes let her into the mixture of emotions that was playing to her. This was a trait she would have to keep in her mind, that the way to get to her new alpha was through his eyes. Something no one had ever been able to do for her, as she had never been the emotional type or exposed it in any way at least..
"I came from another land across the ocean. I'm sure it's a many days travel as I completely lost track of the time I was out in the endless blue." She paused her introduction of the story to get her barrings on the whole story. It had been quite a time since she had even thought about her past on how she ended up here, and it wasn't a well re-visited story. With so much pain how could it be easily remembered. "My guess was I was floating in that cramped crate for a little over a week... I know I was originally from a testing center if I put it all together. ..they caused so much death and pain... Vada paused as her golden eyes hazed out sinking into her past memories. Her body was shaking slightly now as she remembered... every little thing that happened to her and her family brought her pain. More than a bit damaged....
Kiddo listened to the fae's story. It reminded him of his own story that he would not be sharing at this point in time but, it made him simpathize with her. He knew what it was like to be trapped in a crate although, she had been taken from something horrible and he had been taken from a family whom he loved dearly.
He saw Vada's eyes go a little blank. He assumed that there was more to this story than what she was telling him and that she was remembering something else. He only knew this because he often did the same thing. His mind would wander into the past and not remember what was going on in the present. He often thought about his old home, on that piece of land with the big fence around it. How much he had hated that fence but, how stupid he was to have left it. That one action had taken most of his tail and his family from him. Who knew if they were still alive, or what had happened to them since he had left so many years ago. Kiddo had to learn everything by himself since he had arrived here. He had to learn how to socialize, how to hunt, how to regognize poisonous plants and how to survive.
He watched at Vada began to tremble. He wanted to say something comforting to her but, he didn't know what to say. He had never been very good at connecting with others emotionally. He tried to keep his own emotions in a little box inside of his head and keep them locked up there. He prefered to not feel emotions. He wanted to be nuetral all the time. He wanted to feel nothing. But, Vada was his family now along with Zena. He wanted to help her but, he couldn't. His eyes looked on her, they were conflicted. He was conflicted inside himself. He didn't know what to do. He never wanted to be the uncaring, ruthless leader that he was turning into but, he didn't know how to help his new family member. So he just stood and looked at her, he tried to relate himself with her and he tried to understand her but, he could only do that to a point.
Her trembling ceased as her hazed orbs returned back to reality. Embarrassed over her reaction to her past, Vada looked away from Kiddo. What's wrong with me.... Her mind thought as she looked down at her paws. It was bad enough she already had been reprimanded by her new alpha but now he seen that she is damaged...a broken soul that probably wouldn't heal.
Her golden eyes remained on her paws. She took a few steps back before speaking again. "I'm sorry about my ramblings..." She spoke to Kiddo giving him a slight glance before looking away. Her emotions wouldn't show through eyes but her body language showed she was regretting even beginning her story. Her tail low, her ears laid flat on her midnight skull as she stood before Kiddo now silently. He probably thinks I'm a worthless member...
Vada sighed her eyes looking over to Zena who still really had yet to say anything since her and Kiddo had their fight. She was tired of not fitting into ...well anywhere. Every place she had been now her past had caused others to reject her. Sure she was troubled by her tortures but who wouldn't be? Enduring so much at a young age would cause some mental scars wouldn't it? Though the matter before her now was if Kiddo would still accept her now that she had acted so strangely towards her past story that she was unable to finish. I guess things can't always be in your favor...
________________ Vada Speaking Vada Thinking Word Count - 342
Vada soon stopped her trembling after her story. He wasn't really sure what made her stop. But, that wasn't important. She looked away from him and down to her lighter colored paws. He understood the reaction. He was certainly not going to be sharing his own story. No. That was too personal for him but, somehow it wasn't too personal for him to ask her to share her own story. Sometimes Kiddo's logic didn't make much sense to others or even himself sometimes but, that was what he believed to be true. So, that was what he had went with.
Vada then apologized for telling her story to him. He then realized how embarrassed she felt about her story. No, that's okay, don't be sorry. Thank you for telling me your story. Kiddo really wasn't that bad of a guy. He wasn't a tyrant as he may seem when one first meets him. He actually has a heart and he wants to help the wolves that he now calls his family. He knew that it took a lot of guts to share a background such as that because his own story was similar. His voice had been kind when he spoke to her. He wanted them to know that there was more to him then what they may see on the outside. The trouble was getting his inner self to come out.
Kiddo didn't really want to look at anything right now or anyone for that matter but, he knew that he had to. He couldn't be the unstable one, he couldn't be the weak one, no. He had to be strong for his new family, he had to lead them and guide them. He couldn't show any weakness in front of them. Kindness, could be shown if kindness was diserved but, weakness was not an option. Kiddo wanted to run out of here as fast as his legs would take him. He wanted to get out of this emotion situation. He had just been fighting not a half hour ago and now he was trying to comfort someone else. It felt like he was riding an emotional roller-coaster. Even though Kiddo was a bit sensitive on the inside, he didn't really like dealing with emotional problems or situations. He would much rather pretend that he didn't have emotions or at least the ones that he did have were locked away safely and could never come out. That was the way that he wanted to be but, he knew that he could be like that no longer. He had to be a teacher, protector, comforter, discipliner and over all care taker of this pack and he needed emotions to do that. Getting those emotions out however, would be easier said than done.
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