The Origin of Love [Journey]

[Deleted]

But life still goes on, I can’t get used to living without you be my side    

Walking along in silence beneath a blanket of darkness, Sunny could see her warm breath in the air with every exhale, her lilac eyes squinting against the hazy, damp fog. The night was long and cold, a tell-tale sign that winter was certainly coming, and soon. The summer months had been long and unseasonably scorching, leaving Sunny to ponder if the cold season would retaliate in equal measure. It could prove itself to be the most frigid winter of the fae’s existence, and though she tried not to worry about any problem at great length, she was concerned for the coming months. It would be her first winter spent alone.

After parting ways with Phantom – or Shimmer, as she preferred to call him, if only for her own amusement, Sunny found herself alone once more. Alone was her normal. When she was left with nothing but solitude, when she no longer had to put up a façade and fake a smile or a coy laugh, only her thoughts kept her company. She had grown rather accustomed to Phantom’s presence in the weeks they traveled together. He had a tougher shell to crack than the rest, something of an enigma that captured Sunny’s imagination. He was different than the others, but still male, and ultimately, Sunny knew she couldn’t stay around him much longer. Like all things, it had to end, and as usual, Sunny was the one to dictate when that ending came. As she had done with so many before him, she left quietly in the night as he slept.

For once, however, she felt some semblance of guilt for her unannounced departure, a sense of loss that she couldn’t describe and would never admit aloud. Perhaps she would never see the two-toned brute again, as was most often the case with the wolves she encountered and abandoned along the way. This time, that knowledge stirred something within her. But if nothing else, Sunny was adept at avoiding the emotions that did not serve a purpose. Sadness, lonesomeness, none of it was beneficial to her survival. And at the end of the day, ensuring she lived to see another one was all that really mattered.

From the very moment she realized the power she held over the opposite sex, she had used it to her advantage whenever the chance presented itself. She could never comprehend why they took an interest, were willing to give anything to Sunny… She never understood what it was like until she met her. The beautiful femme thought she had met her match in Journey, someone who could keep up both mentally and physically, never one to complain when their days were long and exhausting. Nothing had made sense then, yet everything felt right when Journey was still by her side. Even when things had gone terrible wrong – which they had, on a number of occasions – nothing seemed impossible, they always managed to find a way. Beneath her pelt, Sunny still wore the scars from a time when she nearly hadn’t made it, when a target pack had grown wise to the pair of loners. It was a wonder she was still alive, and undoubtedly, if Journey hadn’t been present, Sunny would have been dead long ago.

It was that night that had changed everything: from a pair of thieves to a true partnership. Where once there was friendship developed something more substantial, more surprising after that experience. Sunny was left helpless, relying on Journey in a way she had never been able to count on someone before. The level of trust could never be replicated – and in the end, it had proven itself a curse rather than a blessing. She had put her faith into her partner, her lover, but Journey had abandoned her months ago, leaving her imprisoned by the pack who had captured them both in a failed raid.

She still dreamt of the she-wolf. Sometimes, she was angry in her nightly visions, ready to rip the only one she had ever truly cared for to shreds. Usually, though, she was filled with a feeling of joy and relief to see the ever-familiar masked features of the female she had loved so fiercely. Maybe, then, the torturous emotions that lingered still were karma for all of the heartache and confusion Sunny had left in her wake.

In the distance, she spied a white coat through the fog, and she knew that she had stumbled across yet another lupine stranger. She paused for a brief moment, mind quickly deciding the best course of action. The scent markers of some unknown wolf littered the area, but Sunny pretended she hadn’t noticed them because of the weather. After a second of hesitation, the female pressed forward, closer to the mysterious creature.


words: 813
tag: Journey
ooc: <33

[Journey]

 It had been a long day for the white wolf, and yet nothing had transpired. The land had become familiar enough to her in the first week of her arrival to Ananke; the first thing Journey had done was roam the perimeter and work her way to the middle. Getting to know her new home had been an enjoyable task, and necessary, but now that she was finished, there was precious little to do. She was a warrior in a land with no war, and so training became her daily routine.

She had not yet met most of her pack mates; the young wolves who ran the rest were kind enough, but busy, and even if she had wanted a real friendship to form with them, it would have been difficult. So instead of getting to know her fellows, Journey ran and jumped and practiced on her own, keeping to herself for the most part. It would not be long before she pined for companionship and ventured into the more public areas, but for now she preferred to keep her distance and focus on how to keep herself ready for potential threats.

One such threat presented itself in the form of a lone wolf meandering closer to her, as she had been standing and meditating quietly at the top of a hill where visibility was good. The wolf was too far out for Journey to distinguish any features, and seen well before danger could really be presented; green eyes fixed upon the creature all the same, and lithe body turned to face the stranger.

Something about the slow, easy walk drew attention, and Journey wondered briefly if this was a pack member she had briefly made contact with before. It was unlikely, but the confident way in which this wolf approached her spoke volumes, and while she was weary, the female did not bristle or otherwise show any concern or aggression. She did, however, begin to walk closer to the other, determined to start her social streak tonight.

The dim light from the moon did little to help Journey see the other wolf, but she was not concerned with distinguishing individual details; she only wished to know who it was, and speak with them regardless. A rogue breeze chilled her to the bone, and brought with it a scent she knew--a scent she knew so completely that it stopped her massive paws and stilled her body the instant she recognized it.

It cannot be, she thought to herself, denial forcing its way into her brain. It cannot be. She is gone. The scent died with the breeze, and still Journey could not force her body into motion. Distracted, she thought back to the night she had last seen Sunny, ages ago when life was perfect. Glimpses of fights, blood, pain, and anguish flashed through her mind, in a random assortment of tangled memories, and not a single one of them were clear as she struggled to regain control of herself.

Suddenly her legs were mobile again, and tenderly, cautiously, the white female ventured forward, crouching herself lower to the ground, eyes opened wide in fear and fascination. She had left Sunny to die, having been strong enough only to escape herself. For weeks she had wept and mourned the loss of her darling, but she could not have gone back for her. It would have been the death of them both, and though Journey would have died for her love, she had been too afraid. She was young, and she had not had the conviction she always thought she would when faced with such a situation.

When the approaching females were close enough to see each other clearly, Journey stopped again to stare. It was Sunny, that beautiful and amazing wolf who had taken her from a life of simply travelling to a life of adventure and thievery, a life full of excitement and danger. She stood immobilized for the second time, mouth hanging slightly open in disbelief as she soaked in the all-too-recognizable sight of the one she had left behind.

"S...Sunny," she muttered softly at last, fear and love and anticipation filling her with dread and sadness and joy. The mix of emotions caused a knot to form in the pit of her stomach, the uncomfortable feeling flowing throughout her body and manifesting in the form or trembling muscles. What in the world was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to feel? The last time she had seen Sunny, they were being dragged apart after an assault from a pack intent on keeping them prisoner. Fear and anger had filled them both that day, and they fought with all they had, but to no avail. Journey watched Sunny fall amidst several of her attackers just as she as succumbing to the idea that, maybe this time, they had tackled more than they bargained for.

Mind blank, Journey simply stared at her first and only love, at a loss. It seemed like years before she was able to make another sound, even quieter than the first, and filled with so much emotion that it nearly brought her to the ground.

"I'm sorry."

Words || 875
Tag || @sunny
Notes || Woooooaaaahhhhh

[Deleted]

Sometimes it feels like someone took a knife, edgy and dull
and cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my soul

Through the haze, she saw a ghost from her past, like fantasy plucked from a dream turned nightmare. She assumed, falsely, that this was some figment of her twisted imagination, appearing on a cold, misty night spent alone. The pale spectre had haunted Sunny in the months that dragged slowly on, as time carried them all one day closer to oblivion. Now, the vision appeared before her, beautiful and cruel, to taunt Sunny, to make a long night even more lonesome. Her eyes narrowed at the phantom as it drifted closer, her mind unable – refusing to accept that she would ever find the she-wolf again. Her Jo had been dismissed, vanquished to the dark recesses of her mind. She was not allowed to reappear as suddenly as she had departed from Sunny’s world.

The sense of betrayal felt as keen as an open wound, one that festered still, unable to heal as the ghost remained, never far behind. A wave of sadness threatened to drag Sunny under, back to a place she whole-heartedly rejected – vulnerability on full display, and for what? She had come to regret all of the things she had allowed herself to feel during those night spent in her warmth, tangled together as if they were two parts of one whole. Journey had reached parts that Sunny hadn’t known she could feel, in ways that no male alive had yet inspired. No – Sunny would not feel the same desolation again. This was not a spirit. It wasn’t a dream. And now there Journey was, apparently healthy and very much alive, staring directly and struggling to find words, no longer avoidable.

The familiar scent of her filled her senses, the one beloved smell distinct to someone she had formerly known. Rage seethed inside of her, overtaking any hint of joy or melancholy at being faced with her lost love once more. Simmering anger tinged with longing… It was confusing now as it had been in the earliest days, when exposing her thoughts, dreams, and her affections had been so bewildering, yet so addictive. But those days were gone. Journey was supposed to be gone, as well – she had abandoned her to die, after all. For Sunny, the anger now overcame the rush of other emotions, blinding her good sense. She wanted to see her suffer, just as Sunny had been left in agony.

There was no semblance of the former tenderness shared between the two in the way Sunny stood, muscles rigid and face hardened. Instead, Sunny cast the other an accusatory glare. ”You.” She lurched forward suddenly, head lowered and teeth bared as she rushed to fill the clouded gap still lurking between the pair. Her jaws parted, but when she drew close enough to attack, she stopped herself. ”Sorry?” The word rumbled in her throat as she growled, her furious visage mere inches from the other female’s face – near enough in proximity to touch, but Sunny restrained her violent temper in that moment as much as she struggled to keep from being closer to the only one who had felt like home. She had never laid a paw on her love back then, but everything was different now. ”You have no idea what they did to me,” she spat, the words venom on her tongue. ”Sorry doesn’t cut it.”




words: 572
tag: Journey
ooc: anger/love

[Journey]

A million thoughts were running through Journey's head, but she could hardly comprehend what her eyes were showing her as fact, let alone concepts that were rapidly firing through her brain. Her body continued to tremble as she stood without moving forward, knowing that Sunny would need to approach her if the two were to get any closer. It was the way of the other wolf, or at least it had been, back when affectionate looks and licks upon the cheek were not simply memories of good times gone.

Suddenly the darker wolf was rushing toward her, fury clear upon her delicate face, and Journey's body shot to the ground, her legs bent and chest touching the grass. Genuine fear flashed upon her face, but Sunny stopped her bared teeth inches from her face, seconds away from making contact. Journey was acutely aware, in that moment, of how deadly those teeth were. Those thoughts drifted away as her lover's scent washed over her again, brought by the rush of the body toward her, and green eyes closed momentarily in bliss as she forgot that any time had passed.

The moment was gone when Sunny snarled her words, refusing to use Journey's name, her tone full of anger. It was well-deserved, she knew, but still cut her deeply, right to her core. Journey had not wanted to leave, she had been forced to. Leave or die. But how to make Sunny understand when she was not one to forgive?

Real words, now, came to her ears, and the white female struggled to lift herself back from the ground, determined to stand. Shaking legs cooperated slowly, and she drew herself up to her full height, Sunny still standing slightly taller than she. Now that she was again properly on her feet, some of her terror had gone, but she was still faced with a ball of fury in the form of the other wolf, and had no idea what to do. Words would not help; even if she was as articulate as her companion, Journey could not possibly get through to Sunny when she was so blindly furious.

So the white female did something incredibly foolish, something that could very well end in bloodshed. It was all she had, all she could think of, and so it was what she did. Journey pushed herself forward, eyes closed, intending to settle the top of her head underneath Sunny's chin and press her shoulder upon the female's chest affectionately.

Words || 422
Tags || @sunny
Notes || If you want me to add some dialogue to make it easier to reply I will certainly do so. (: Just let me know!

[Deleted]

Your love is air, I breathe it in around me
Don't know it's there, but without it I'm drowning

In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to see Journey hurt. She wanted to crush the other female. Sunny was not ashamed of her vindictive nature, but she never thought it would come to this – snarling in her former love’s face, who cowered below like a terrorized wolf. Neither of the she-wolves was reminiscent of the way it had once been, leaving Sunny ambivalent and uncertain of what she should be feeling… Fury or relief? Memories of meadows and flowers in every hue imaginable clouded her seething anger, torn between joy and outrage. Life without Journey had been hollow and meaningless, drawn out days of feeling empty inside, and out of her mind. Try as she might, she had never managed to quash those feelings, to escape love’s stifling clutch. She didn’t like the helpless way she watched Journey, the way her heart beat in double-time when she was near. That inexplicable pull, alluring without ever trying.

And now… Now, once more, Sunny was reduced to an emotional fool, jumbled thoughts and unuttered syllables as she hurriedly filled the space between them. She just wanted to be close to her again, to feel that effortless ardor again, to be the same Sunny she was before, but her pride kept her anger burning within. But Journey made no attempt to fight back. The pale wolfess said nothing at all as she drew closer, with an affection that Sunny had dismissed as being lost – somehow, this was worse than shouting. The silence was unbearable, and Sunny’s jaws clamped shut, the growl silenced in her throat. She couldn’t let the masked femme get off so easily. She had explaining to do. At such close proximity, it was impossible to avoid the familiarity, and while a small part of Sunny was still enraged, she made no further attempt to move away. Her body remained tense, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull back, to lose the closeness again. ”Why did you do it, Jo? I thought you were dead. I thought you had to be dead, or else you would have come back to me.”

”I thought you were gone for good,” she conceded, as quiet as a whisper, though there were no wolves around to overhear the girls’ private conversation. To others, they would appear to be close friends, but it was more than that – something primal, as natural as breathing and as unavoidable as death. Sunny had loved her as she never could love a male. There were so many unanswered questions swimming through her mind, when all she really wanted was to stay this way and never let go again. With the history shared between the females, it wasn’t that simple. ”Where did you go?”

words: 476

tag: Journey

[Journey]

Journey lost herself for as long as she could in the touch, relieved that Sunny had not torn herself away when she had approached. The familiariy was soothing, easier than the wolf would have ever thought. They had been apart for so long, both assuming the other to be dead, and suddenly they were reunited. It should have been a happy moment, full of love and satisfaction, but Journey knew there were things that needed to be said, consciouses that needed to be cleared and revealed, before things could return to normal. If there was even a chance, that is.

Words cut through the momentary cloud that Journey had shrouded herself and Sunny in, words that she had known were coming and that she expected to be worse. It hurt, to hear how distraught Sunny was and had been at the thought of being left by her lover, and she struggled to find the words to explain. Would she, with her harsh disposition and inability to forgive easily, even accept anything Journey tried to tell her? What were the chances of her being forgiven, compared to Sunny's desire to see her pay for her decisions?

But she could not remain silent, however much she would prefer to. She could, however, remain exactly where she was, pressed against the wolf she thought she had lost, reveling in the warmth provided by a second body. A deep, shuddering sigh shook her stout frame, and she gathered her thoughts to explain. "I was weak," she said softly, her masculine voice suddenly airy, feminine, and unsure. She was terrified to continue, sure that Sunny would not forgive her, but she forged on. "They kept us weak. I took a chance, and I fled when my guards were distracted. I barely escaped with my life, and they chased me... they followed me for miles before they gave up. I was exhausted, and I kept going until the next day."

She paused, and against her own will Journey pulled herself away from her only love, trading the comfort of her touch for the beauty of her ice blue eyes, peering into them as her own overflowed with feeling. "I wanted to save you. I would have," she started, her voice cracking as she remembered the terror of fleeing from her captors, the horror of having to leave Sunny behind. "I would have died. They would have overpowered me as though I were a pup. And you..." She stopped again, dropping her head to hang it in shame. "I knew you would adapt. You always find a way."

Journey turned her head away completely, unable to look even at Sunny's paws as she shut her emerald eyes and shook, her whole body trembling. "I should have come back for you. I should have renewed my strength and fought them. But I was too afraid. I couldn't save you." Grief coursed through her and Journey's rump dropped to the ground, her whole body seeming to slump with the shame of what she had done. Again she stared at the ground, feeling as though she were lower than the dirt she stood upon. "I... am so sorry."

Words || 546
Tags || @sunny
Notes || Oh lordy so dramatic

[Deleted]

Journey began to explain, emotion heavy in her voice and raw feelings visble upon her masked visage. For a lingering moment, Sunny remained silent, torn. She wanted to fight her, didn’t see? She still wanted to see her suffer, the way Sunny had suffered… Right? But Sunny could no longer convince herself of the animosity she should feel toward her mate. Her gaze flitted to the dust at her paws as Journey continued to speak, trying so desperately to make things right again, the way it was. Journey expressed her regret, stating that she was sorry, and Sunny didn’t doubt that it was true. Still, the admission and the guilt did little to quell the barrage of emotions Sunny had experienced. But the inexplicable pull was too great to resist. How could she stay angry when this was what she had wanted all along – the closeness, the familiarity, the effortless way their bodies seemed to fit together, like two parts of the same puzzle. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of remaining quiet, Sunny’s pale violet eyes turned back to Journey’s emerald orbs. ”They would have kept you, too. Could have killed you. I heard them. It’s true. It was only a matter of time.”

Still, Sunny was nothing if not a stubborn wolfess. She remained fixed to the spot where she stood, refusing to give an inch. Her ebony nostrils flared as she tried to investigate which scents mingled now with Journey’s, the places she had strayed and the wolves she had encountered along the way. ”What have you been doing all this time?” The initial question was soon followed by another, more critical inquiry: ”Do you travel with someone new now?” Her lilac eyes grew darker as she asked, both dreading the answer and anxious to know the truth. Her lips pursed tightly, barely veiled jealousy simmering within her. Certainly, Journey had found others along the way. Who wouldn’t choose it? Moving from place to place with Journey had been a pleasure, even when things were not always going according to plan, when Journey hadn’t complained if Sunny lead her into yet another predicament. It was always one trouble to the next, and it was almost always Sunny’s fault.

Sunny had spent time with a few other wolves – though none as interesting as Phantom, who would prove to be closer than Sunny realized. As Journey had pointed out, Sunny was adaptable, and she had worked well enough with Phantom. Hunting with Journey was better than alone – though Sunny could not imagine that anyone could come along to replace her. No one could be as in sync as they had been. No amount of training or practice could create such a skilled duo, never the same alone.

words: 474

tag: Journey

[Journey]

Journey stared pathetically at the ground, her feelings having overcome her ability to keep her head up. She had failed Sunny, abandoned her, and left her to die. It had been a dire situation, but she should have fought, she should have tried to get to her love; instead she had taken the opportunity to flee and taken it, never looking back. Hell, Journey had hardly felt anything about it at all once the initial grief had been expelled, and it was as though months of pushing the feelings away were washing over her at once now. There was nothing she could do to stem the flow, and she felt that she deserved to feel as bad as she did in that moment, facing her mate and unable to look at her beautiful face.

As the question of what she had been doing was posed, Jo opened her mouth to speak and was stopped by the immediate follow-up, which caused her to look up with a frown, again meeting the entrancing eyes that had captivated her from the start. It was a ridiculous question; if she was traveling with someone else, wouldn't she be with that someone now? The jealousy that Sunny leaked in her question was more fiery than the female had perhaps intended, and Journey would do whatever she could to quell it.

"I've... just been moving along," she answered blandly, turning away again despite her not saying anything to be ashamed of. After going so long without the intensity Sunny could muster in her stare, Journey found that she was having a hard time keeping eye contact with her. "I spent a short time with an ill-natured male and separated from him to retain my sanity. He was... unsavory." As she spoke, the wolf made a sour type of face, remembering the unpleasant time she had spent with Veles. Had he tried less to be mysterious and pompous, she might not have left him when she did, but either way, he was not quite her type--friend or lover.

Now was the time to divulge the larger piece of information--Ananke. When they had been wandering together, Journey and Sunny had very deliberately kept away from packs unless they were causing trouble, and her dearest friend had made it very clear that she had no desire to be part of a family in that way. But in her loneliness, Jo had needed to find a purpose, and so she had sought out the acceptance of the nearest source. Ananke had, so far, been a blessing, and she would be loathe to leave if Sunny did not take kindly to the fact that she had joined; but, if that was what it took to keep the two of them together, Journey would leave without a second thought.

"I found a place for myself, though," she continued carefully, her nose down but her eyes up, again searching Sunny's face for her coming reaction. "A new pack, fresh young faces all around. They were eager to take me in, and their lands--these lands--are the only plentiful ones for miles around. It's no paradise... but it feels like home." She had grown up in a land very much unlike this one, and most of her travels with Sunny had taken them through more temperate zones instead of desert ones, but the feeling here in Aveline was just as comforting to her, and had been even before the arrival of her love.

There was another pause--it seemed as though she was doing nothing but pausing--where Journey's heart began to thud heavily in her chest. Her next words might cause Sunny to have an outburst, or worse, to simply leave, neither of which she desired. But since they were being honest and open with each other during this reunion, she felt it was necessary even if it might bring about an unpleasant conversation. "I'd like to stay," Journey said quietly, almost a whisper, though she kept her eyes on Sunny this time, determined not to look away so that she could watch the emotions flash behind those lilac eyes.

Words || 708
Tags || @sunny
Notes || Very happy to have broken my less-than-stellar and totally-short responses for these two!< 3