Anything worth having is worth fighting for. {FINISHED}

[Kade]

Kade could feel himself start to relax when he saw Kenai remove himself from the tension in the situation. He closed his eyes and began to drag slow agonizing breaths through his lungs, trying to clear the confusing haze of his instincts. They were appeased seeing the other male back off a step, back away from the confrontation. Kade wished he had that kind of control, the force of will to conquer the doubt and hurt still lurking within him. Kade was almost back to normal, almost back in control, when the ebony female pushed herself into the situation. Though her stance and tone were that of a more playful taunting, Kade could see the challenge inside her. See the eagerness to fight written in her eyes. She wanted to dominate him just like the rest. Sought to put him in his place, to humiliate and emasculate him. He knew the stock from which this female came, had been at their mercy for much of his life. They had broken him, leaving his battered bloody body to the humans. Could they not see that I had been alone and so confused? Kade hadn't understood what the humans had wanted from him the first time they had thrown him in that cage with the female. He had only sought comfort when he had been introduced to the fae. What he received was far from comfort. The femme had struck out at him any chance she had gotten. The humans had prodded him with these lightening sticks that had shocked and burned him, in an effort to push him in the females direction. It hadn't been until he had smelled the now familiar scent of the females heat had he realized they had wanted a breeder. That was all her was to these shes, a chance to bully and beat a male into submission, only to impregnate themselves. They had sought to rob him of his children and raise them in this hell hole for nothing more than simple malice.

This female was the same. She wanted nothing more than to hurt him and taunt him for no other reason than because she could. He had had enough of that in his life and he was desperate to avoid the anger and humiliation that followed. To be constantly beaten and broken had left Kade a pitiful shell of what he could have been. He could have been a proud alpha in his own time, could have raised a generation of children to continue his legacy. Instead his life had left him crippled. No longer could he stand the company of females, or the though of bringing pups into such a cruel and merciless existence. His relaxed posture was back to tense quicker than Kade could fathom. His mind was screaming at him to back down and flee this scene. To escape and keep what little pride he could manage. His head raised high in challenge, teeth bared Kade let out a terrible growl. It left his throat raw as it rumbled from his chest. His tail raised itself into an aggressive position above his body. His fur lining his neck and shoulders began to prickle and rise giving him a ridge along his back. His eyes stared back at the dark female that was almost an exact mirror of himself, even possessing his grey eyes. It was almost like he was fighting himself, maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. They had lied. Even as a free wolf I cannot escape these demons. They seem to plague all the corners of the earth. Kade took an aggressive step forward his tail swishing in tense displeasure. "I don't like games. If you want to hurt me then prove yourself nothing more that what you are....female."

Kenai and Emerald were gone from Kade's sight and all her could think about was winning this fight. Faris' playful jabs and taunts were setting him more and more on edge as time passed. His head was a muddled cloud of eagerness and pain. He wanted more than anything to come out on top. He couldn't lose this fight, not again. He had fought so had to gain his freedom, to survive. He was finally in a place where he could begin to forget the horrors that he had face, yet here was this dark furred demon come to send him back to his hell. Realistic or no he could still hear their taunts and jabs, feel their teeth and their claws. As time passed on Kade lost more and more of his composure. Now all that was left was a bitter angry shell of who he wanted to be. The strings had been cut and he was no longer able to control his own body. The rage inside of him spurred him forward as he began to circle the female, teeth champing in anticipation. For once he would get a chance to feel what a real fight was, how it felt to truly fight for his life. "Why do you all have to be the same? Why can't you understand? Why do you have to make everything fall down." Kade had no idea if he was even a good fighter, he had never been tested. The only thing he had ever attacked was a human, but that had been long ago. He would need to come out on top, come out some sort of victorious or he would be lost. What is the point of being free when all there is is pain and death awaiting you? So hopeless was he. He wasn't simply fighting to establish himself, he was fighting to find his hope again. The determination to continue, the same will that had forced him to make the swim to this island. For it seemed to have abandoned him in the wake of this battle. Kade had no ill will towards this femme and would be more than content to leave in peace, but there was something inside of him that was unraveling into rapid chaos.

[Faris]

"I don't like games. If you want to hurt me then prove yourself nothing more that what you are....female."

“Prove myself as nothing more…” A hiss of repressed breath seeped from between her clenched teeth. As nothing more than female? Faris trembled as the wisp of composure she had managed to preserve was drained away in a flood of laughter, a rolling thread of chortles and giggles that hindered her tongue from forming words, and all she could summon to her mind’s eye was a piece of some memory that flickered for a translucent instant -- then died as the present moment overwrote the past with their unfortunate similarities. This darling wolf… is afraid of… She wondered if she was mistaken in her interpretation.

"Why do you all have to be the same? Why can't you understand? Why do you have to make everything fall down."

Faris couldn’t stop the noises that boiled up from her throat, the laughter that chimed ceaselessly despite the offense she was sure they would induce. She saw his reaction, the stiffening of his posture and the flare of his tail, and found it so emotionally charged that it beckoned for ridicule if anything at all... though it was only funny when coupled with his words. Perhaps he had experienced misery in some bygone era, perhaps it was pity that he wanted, someone who could commiserate with him and dissipate the woes that brooded in his wretched past. She considered the possibility, that rather than the result of an unique and extraordinary mind, his behavior was just another episode of pent-up angst causing disruption in an otherwise tame individual, an exaggeration of sorts. In other words, he was nothing new to her database of interactions; their meeting was an overworked replay, misleading in its complexity. So by virtue of his commonplace stereotypy, her mirth finally found its coffin as muted disappointment and uninspired understanding simultaneously broke inertia: he was just another wolf looking through the filter of a sad past, incapable of reconciliation with departed fate.

Kade -- she had snatched the name from Emerald’s breath -- had metamorphosized into an angry champion of tragic experiences, a change marked by the turbulence that pooled from his storm-grey eyes, and the deep-rooted hurt that echoed in his strangled words. Faris remembered the conflict she had felt in her siblings -- who were dead perhaps, she had no method of confirming their fates -- but nonetheless their turmoil was reincarnated before her in this wounded soul, struggling to lift itself from a slough of perdurable torment. From the knowledge she had harvested, Faris believed she understood... but she felt no sympathy for his strife: a hint of association found place in her eyes but she peeled her lips back in an bold smile, undaunted by her boring discovery because she had comprehended in an ironic fullness his misery, his despair.

“Your ignorance is annoying...” Faris leveled her chilled gaze in contest to his thunderous growl. “... though I’ll educate you of our differences: I can understand more about a situation, and in much greater depth than can a whelp who clings to generalizations, stagnating himself through his devotion to an outdated past.” She flexed the muscles in her legs as she reeled in the distance between herself and her mirror image. “I could coddle you with kindness if it’ll mend your wounds... but what relief could that bring without first liberating yourself of delusional mistrust?” She lightened her steps and broadened her senses to encompasses her adversary, her surroundings, her position, all while pinpointing her attention to an electrifying degree. “Maybe it’s time to grow up, move on.”

The blur of movement would’ve at least been ascribable to its source had it been daytime, but in the blackness of the night, only the sharpest of senses could perceive in the correct order her dark-veiled strike and the impact of clashing teeth. Snapping at his legs in quick succession, everything about her motion was made with the intention of riling the brute, of goading him to retaliate against the playful mocking of her evasive dance and jeering eyes. If she won, he would crumble; she knew the fact and would compensate for it with modest restraint, but there was no reason for her to lose if he would learn best through civil defeat -- that was what she believed. She did not love him, did not hate him, but because she saw a reflection of herself in the depths of his eyes, she was too selfish to let it putrefy and spread.

Words : 763
Muse : I can't find it D8
Tags : Kade
Notes : Sorry for the wait!

[Kade]

She laughed at him with unrestrained amusement at the situation at hand. He felt like a petulant child being laughed at by a superior and it irked him. She thought that this whole dealing was hilarious, it was no more than a joke to the high and mighty femme. Kade wanted so badly to leave, he was treading down a dark path like he always had. There were no answers down that path, nothing more than hurt and anguish for him. He knew that Faris was going to break him, and honestly he needed to be pulled from his self pity. He hated the darkness that consumed him when he let himself wallow on his past. A past that he would like nothing better than to forget. Her laughter made Kade feel even worse about the situation and his growl began to taper off at her amusement. It was obvious that his aggression did little to intimidate the female. It was as he feared, she obviously had the upper hand in this situation. Kade pressed on aggravated by her laughter towards him. His paws took him closer to the female and he snapped his teeth towards her flank. He wasn't sure why he continued to push himself when he knew that he had nothing to gain from this encounter. She seemed to realize that he was afraid of females, and her amusement skyrocketed with cackles in his direction. The embarrassment was too much for him to handle and he was infuriated that she had such an effect on him. So childlike was his temper that it fueled his tantrum.

Kade felt in control of himself and the situation until the charcoal female leveled him with her cool gaze. She snapped form amused to annoyed faster than Kade could keep up. His attempts to intimidate her had been unsuccessful and she seemed the slightest bit unimpressed with his bluff. Kade was angry and unstable, but he had no knowledge of fighting or defense. No skills to tip the scale in his favor. There was something in Faris' eyes that beckoned to him, inviting him to surrender his anger. There was solace and refuge in her eyes. If only he would let go of his anger and his hurt, submit to her and he would give it all up. To lose the control ad let her had it for even the briefest of moments was tempting. Her eyes were that of a female set on the path of domination, she was more than likely a dominant in her own right and would not be seen bowing to the likes of him. Deep within him he craved her submission and her relinquishing herself to him, but he knew that would never help him. He couldn't even lead his own life, let alone try to lead the others around. The energy within him had been angry and unstable for too long. Off center taking him with it. The frailness of his mind was sure to be shattered after his brief meeting with her. He wanted to submit to her badly, to let her meat out her annoyance with him and make it out alive, but he wasn't ready to give up on the anger and the hurt. Too much had been done for him to just give it up on a whim. She suggested that he grow up and move on, but he had nothing to move on to. No purpose to drive his life further than this fight. He didn't know what it was that he should do with his freedom. He just knew that he was furious, that the bubbling and burning anger was always present no matter how far the past stretched.

Kade blinked at the female in confusion he wasn't sure what she meant by a past outdated, his certainly wasn't. "How am I supposed to move on when it still lives with me? Do you think that I want to live my life trapped in the past. I cannot escape the events I was subjected to no matter how hard I try. Since you seem such an expert on my 'delusional mistrust' then why don't you educate me. How is it that I am supposed to make these feelings go away? Do you claim to know me better than myself? Do you hold the key to vanquishing these hateful tales?" If Faris could help him get rid of the brokenness contained within his head he would gladly take her assistance. However something told Kade that Faris was sure that he was nothing more than a hurt brute with some bruised pride. Given the choice Kade would leave these delusions in the past the not let them haunt him further. "I am supposed to be able to control my subconscious? Is there a way to turn away from that place in which the memories dwell?'' Kade became more and more uncertain of the situation as time went by. Faris' moods seemed to flit by in mere seconds and Kade couldn't keep up. He could see her jump from amusement to annoyance to anger to pity in a span of minutes. Before he could prepare himself he saw Faris snapping at his legs. Her intentions became clear when Kade felt a surge of adrenaline rush through him. She wanted him to break, to lose the control he was fighting so hard to keep. She wanted to push him past the point no return if only to educate him about his prejudice. She seeks to educate me on the difference between me and her. They seem obvious enough to me. I do not taunt and tease others only to rile their tempers. She seems quite the character. Kade's feet moved quickly away from the female's snapping maw before jumping back. His next move was one of offense as he surge forward trying to knock into the females shoulders. His teeth had always been a last resort when he had been kept by the humans. A last ditch effort to warn his attacker off. "How will you teach me this lesson? Will you harm me just like all the rest. You call me ignorant, but how is what you are doing any different from them? A beating is a beating no matter what lesson it is meant to teach", he snapped in her direction. He threw his weight behind his assault hoping that it did some kind of damage, if any at all.

[Faris]

Faris could feel his confusion overrun his anger, smothering out the inferno until it smoked and reeked with befuddlement. The evidence of his uncertainty that showed through his eyes wasn’t necessary: his confusion blared from his hesitation and from the undercurrents of his behavior, mauled the atmosphere with its unmistakable volume and crushed her enthusiasm by another degree. It was hardly worth the effort of side-stepping his half-hearted snap at her flank, an attack so straightforward that her mind, used to cunning gambits and crafty ruses, was in the process of overcomplicating things when her body instinctively moved on its own; she let him gnash at empty air and would have returned the favor with a bite of her own if he hadn’t decided to speak right then.

"How am I supposed to move on when it still loves with me? Do you think that I want to love my life trapped in the past. I cannot escape the events I was subjected to no matter how hard I try. Since you seem such an expert on my 'delusional mistrust' then why don't you educate me. How is it that I am supposed to make these feelings go away? Do you claim to know me better than myself? Do you hold the key to vanquishing these hateful tales?"

As his thoughts found their way to his tongue -- granted, in a less fervent manner than his earlier outburst, but all too emotional nonetheless -- an incredulous look circumvented her mask of bored indifference and was was transmitted to Kade through baffled eyes. “Do I have to spell it out for you?” Faris sighed out the question. Irritation had begun to collect and tighten in her chest where it remained, contained, unseen to the wary eye, suppressed in the mist of her own darkness that plumed from her own unfortunate history.

"I am supposed to be able to control my subconscious? Is there a way to turn away from that place in which the memories dwell?''

Faris had no immediate response to his cries for help as he seemed to be spouting the first hysterical thoughts to rise up in his mind. Though at his emphatic words, something ancient and overlooked from her childhood twitched for a moment of animation, granting her a brief insight, then was reburied into the mud of her mind.

Kade wasn’t really a unique case; he wasn’t completely unlike the couple dozen other dreary existences Faris had known, lost in their own world of monotony and unchange, unable to readjust their perspectives and overcome their own issues. Faris was aware of what difference it made to have a partner for support as opposed to solving a crisis all alone, which was why she was determined to see through Kade, pick apart the nuances of his character and piece it all back together so that he was functional again; from what it appeared, Kade had no one to turn to. And besides, her preoccupation with her newly-found patient was enough of a distraction to keep her repressed memories from wandering into the conscience stream, enough to distract her from her unhappy thoughts.

“I could coddle you, meaning I could bow down and lick your feet in an act of submission, treat you with delicacy in hopes that you’ll miraculously encounter an epiphanic realization along your way to heaven -- but it won’t do you any good, do you know why?” Her movements had paused, temporarily. Then she discarded the patience that she had imitated, but never really possessed: “Not every bitch you come across will bend to your authority, and nobody is going to pamper your ego just because it was beaten into the ground a millennium ago. If this is your solution, dear child, to force others to cater to your needs, I’ll just give up on your sorry arse and move on with my life, even if you cannot move on with yours.” She didn’t actually know his age and had resisted calling him by such a diminutive pet name… but his behavior made it so perfectly appropriate that she had to make it known, had to make it known that his ignorance and childishness was incredibly evident by the looks he gave her, the words he spouted.

Faris formulated her followup with consideration to his inexperience… or perhaps slow-mindedness, she did not know. “I am oblivious to the specifics of your emotions and past ordeals, as you’ve neglected to share and I’m in unfortunate want of telepathic powers.” She had no desire to explain either herself or her earlier speech. The meaning to her words had seemed quite evident, or so she'd believed since everything she had said were in direct response to his earlier tantrum. She hated snuffing out complexity for the sake of others’ understanding and would rather drop a subject than simplify her ideas through rudimentary explanations, but for this one occasion she decided to bow to his needs, realign his drab existence. “No, I don’t know of a universal solution to everyone’s problems. Yes, I can help you if I feel like it. Yes, I’ve met enough wolves similar to you so that no, it makes no difference that my experiences were undoubtedly different and I cannot truly relate to you.” Her responses to his earlier thread of demands were so uniform and blunt that they hurt her to expose them in such rigid literality, though she was redeemed by the sarcasm that dripped from her tone, decorating her words in hopes that it would anger him.

"How will you teach me this lesson? Will you harm me just like all the rest. You call me ignorant, but how is what you are doing any different from them? A beating is a beating no matter what lesson it is meant to teach."

Faris swerved to avoid his barrelling form as he attempted another unrefined, uncalculated assault. “Damn it child, what are you saying, why can’t you comprehend. You must be wondering now: what is my solution, then, to your little issue? Fight me as you’d fight your past, and I’ll prove to you that not every ‘beating’ is the same, not every female is out for your hide. This is the most direct way to solve your problems, is it not? To face it head on?” Faris dropped her composure for the first time and smeared a snarl over her words. “You don’t ‘control your subconscious’ by turning away from your memories. Overcome them already, move on from a past that is so clearly unwanted.” She dropped into a defensive position; this time, she would not avoid him.

“Attack me.”

Words : 1113
Muse : Pretty good c:
Tags : Kade
Notes : This was an odd turn of events.. it still works for our plot though, and it's always nice to bring out a "nice" side to an otherwise "mean" character. :P

[Kade]

Her outright dismissal of his condition was frustrating to Kade. She simply thought that he could change himself in so short a time frame. To just drop everything and move on from everything he had known. There was no sweet and gentle beginning that he could go back to, nothing that he could revert to. This was all that he knew, the only existence in which he had ever dwelt. Faris seemed to think that she knew his affliction with any degree of certainty. Her experience however limited it was with wolves of his affliction in no way made her an expert on Kade or what he went through. Just because she knew someone who had acted similar didn't give her any right to judge Kade. She had not the slightest idea how much pain and torment his memories had caused him over the years. She acted as if his struggle was in some way affecting her, as if him making a fool of himself worsened her day. Kade felt himself grew angry again, not at himself or at his situation, but at the female. She thought that she had some great piece of information to share with him, that she knew her actions would heal his affliction. She seemed to have a superiority complex, her actions only proving that she had no experience with the devastation he had endured. Kade found her condescending rude and infuriating to say the least. Where does she get off acting as if she knows what it is like? She doesn't know anything about me, or what is happening to me. Kade's tail swished back and forth in angry purpose. His confusion made way for a new emotion to come forth rage. Sure he had been angry and furious, but those feelings felt dismal compared to the outright rage stirring in him now. It pulsed through his blood clouding his eyes in a red film. It even coated his tongue in a metallic tang that made him hungry for something.

She thought that he needed her submission to cool the stirring inside of him, but nothing could curb the madness within. Why would I expect any bitch to submit, when none of them have before. Kade shook his head at her words. They didn't even make sense. "Why would I expect a she-wolf to submit? They never submit." His words were true enough to him as he had never been around a female who had ever submitted to him. There was never submission, just the timeless circuit of anger and pride that played over and over in his head. They would snarl and growl, snap and sneer, while he did his best to avoid them at all costs. He didn't seek to submit to them, only wanted to be rid of them, but they had cared naught. Their teeth had been as sharp as their words, digging into him mercilessly. All over the conception of a few pups. They had been vicious in their attempts to get him to do their bidding, yet every time he had refused. The only time he had ever shown strength was by his refusal. He had learned not to fight the larger females at the earliest age. They always won so why waste the precious energy he would need to survive. The humans had come after the females had violated him enough, but their hands were just as cruel as the females. Their fists as painful as the sharpest teeth. Kade didn't want anything from this female, he simply wanted to be left to himself, to deal with this pain and torment.

You don't know anything. You claim to know what my affliction is, but how can you? You have not been through this. What experience could you have other than what you can see or hear. You do not know what I feel!", he snarled. She was taunting him, bringing him to the edge of his control for this very moment. For this very altercation that she was sure to win. All for nothing. Kade would not gain anything from this. There would be no enlightenment, no healing to be rejoiced. She would leave him here in his misery only to move on to better places. Her enjoyment would be found in Kade's pain. She would not stay to watch his progress, she would kick off of a cliff into the dark abyss that Kade wouldn't surface from. He would be stuck in that dark void for what seemed like an eternity to face himself. "There is no running from them. The memories swim in my eyes and take me back to the very place I try to run from. Do not tell me that I have to embrace what has happened. There is no peace to be found there, no forgiveness I am willing to give. The past holds nothing but ruin. I am no coward to run from the pain that was inflicted on me, but I will not return to a time that is behind me, not of my own volition." Kade watched as she took up a defensive posture. She wanted so badly for him to make the first move. For him to be the one who started the altercation between them. Kade was only too happy to oblige. This life was the only one that he knew, and he would fight before he would find it ripped away from him. He knew nothing else, the only comfort he found was in the solace of his own pain.

Kade gave one last growl before he launched himself at the dark fae. He kept his mouth open and teeth at the ready like he had seen the females do. Surely he could imitate their actions well enough to do this wolf some damage. Kade was fast and he was strong, but he was no wild wolf. He wasn't a lethal machine of survival. He had been fed kibble and coddled as a pet for his while life. There was no wining this fight, but if he had to go down he would take her with him. He wanted to inflict as much pain as he had felt, wanted this female to truly understand what it meant to suffer because the mind wouldn't allow you to forget the past. Wanted some of the pain to leave him and flow into someone else. If that made him cruel than so be it, but he knew he couldn't bear this tension within him for much longer.

[Faris]

There had been annoyance, exasperation, a moderate amount of amusement yet a consistent lack of antipathy in the layers of her attitude, and that antipathy had been a fleeting concept to her cluttered mentality until Kade eventually drained the last of her patience with his show of either poor understanding or utter disregard to everything she had said.

"Why would I expect a she-wolf to submit? They never submit."

“Indeed, why would she.” Faris nodded solemnly and repressed the urge to further manifest her sarcasm. Why submit to a wolf who has yet to earn such high regard?

“You don't know anything. You claim to know what my affliction is, but how can you? You have not been through this. What experience could you have other than what you can see or hear. You do not know what I feel!"

“Oh? Was I wrong then to assume that you fear females, wolves who exhibit such... abhorring femininity?” Despite Faris’ snide taunt, her resolution faltered for several moments beneath the surface of her smirk. “Don't you fear your perception of us so much that you cannot imagine a future without that lingering terror?” Her assured manner exuded conviction, but her mind fumbled with that certainty. Had she misinterpreted the reason for his words, the language of his actions? She was certain no wolf could be so one-dimensional -- there had to have been more behind his character than what was evident -- but surely the details he had not shared didn’t come into play, didn’t have influence on his straightforward dilemma. Was it possible that other factors existed, pieces she had somehow lost or missed?

Perhaps he was more complex than was credited by his initial impression -- or perhaps he simply had nothing worthwhile to say.

“What you’ve uttered is also viable vice versa: you don’t know anything. You don’t know what I understand, and how can you? You don’t know whether or not I’ve been through this -- in fact, you know nothing about me. Indeed, I know only what I see or hear, and I’ve both seen and heard all the foolishness you’ve so conspicuously presented to me.” She had never been one to participate in contentious and combative bickering that veered away from the core topic in favor of a tangent that could do nothing but worsen the discord of a situation. Perhaps it was a result of her extended solitude after a traumatic break from everything she had known, maybe it was partially attributable to the hormonal season or her spoiled mood, but whatever the prefaces Kade had levied away at the patience she had strenuously mustered since her arrival, and that event, more than anything else, put to waste a good deal of her wavering self-control.

But what proved to be even more alarming than her remarkably rapid loss of tolerance was her inability to detect the degradation of that control, the withering of that consideration; she could not feel her alarming decline into the deeper, darker, dank little rut of an insanity that remained linked to her logic but was out of contact with the reason of others, and for the entire descent she could not detect its occurrence. Then again, it wasn’t as if Faris had ever been free of this dementia before her encounter with the black-furred wolf; she was prisoner to her own psychology, a perpetual captive to the habits of her masquerade even before the moment she landed on this island, with nothing left to show of her sanity but for the pressure of some gated tears she was incapable of shedding. Kade had dried up the last of her enfeebled resistance, so while she prodded for the emergence of his unspoken past, she had begun to recoil uncontrollably back into her own broken state.

So when he sprang at her with all the indignation that had pounded in his soul, Faris peeled back her lips and equaled his fury with reckless reciprocation. She felt his weight ram into her chest before her body deliberately buckled to lessen the impact, allowing his momentum to carry him over her crumpled form and presumably discard him into the foliage as she quickly regained her footing. Beyond cautious strategy in her incensed condition, Faris rebounded instantly and lunged without aim at the object of both her delight and her dismay.

Words : 723
Muse : dismal
Tags : Kade
Notes : hopefully this was a little more in-character. x3

[Kade]

She had ducked from beneath him allowing him to fly over her and hit the ground. He slammed down into the cold earth with a thud before skidding through the grass. When he pushed himself back up he could feel the skin beneath his legs burning. He was angry that she had evaded him so easily. Kade had jumped into this fight too quickly. Obviously this wolf was a skilled fighter, something that Kade wasn't. He began to run again charging that the female before he could think it through. He growled in frustration feeling himself begin to unravel. His claws dug into the earth propelling himself towards the dark female. She was wrong about him, surely she had to be. There was no way that he could be as ignorant as she believed. "There is a flaw with that Faris. I might not know anything about your life or what issues plague you, but I never claimed to. I do not pass judgement upon you or your life. I don't try to fix the brokenness in you. You on the other hand have done nothing but try to figure me out. Isn't it enough to just leave me alone. Leave me to my fury and my hate. Is it so wrong for me to hate those who have hurt me? You are right. I am afraid of females, not because of their femininity, but because I have a right to be afraid. Isn't it nature for you to fear things that hurt you. What future is there for me? What future can a wretch like me deserve? Beast. Brute. Bastard. Animal. Mutt. You are nothing better than a pile of shit. You would be better off dead. Why would anyone want you? Lapdog. Pet. Dog. Mongrel." By the end of this outburst Kade was no longer addressing Faris.

He ws broken. His mind was no longer working against his body. They were now in sync working towards one goal. Survival. He no longer saw the meadows or Faris. The scene before his eyes was now the cage with the female opposite him. She was larger than him by much. He was a lanky pup with barely any muscle on him, but they still expected him to breed. She had taken him down the first chance she had gotten reminding him of his place. Reminding him that he was no better than a flea. He lunged blindly at Faris hoping to get a strike in. He didn't want to stop. He couldn't. If he stopped her knew the pain and shame that waited for him. The females were quick to take him down because they knew he was weak. He had been little more than a pup, beaten so mercilessly. Weak. Weak. Weak. All they wanted to do was prove he was weak. They had been stronger than him, stronger and more willing to inflict pain. He had tried not to hurt them in return, but now he was broken. Feral. If he got the chance he would do anything in his power to put this female down. He didn't want to be reminded of what he really was. Pitiful.

OOC: This is so bad I am sorry. The muse is gone D:

[Faris]

It became easier to pick apart his arguments than to propose her own ideas, now that he appeared oblivious even to the implications of his own words.

"There is a flaw with that Faris. I might not know anything about your life or what issues plague you, but I never claimed to.”

A fallacy in the foundation of her argument -- that was what he suggested. A flaw? You never claimed to? The proposition by itself almost brought absurd laughter back into her eyes, but any such amusement was contaminated with exasperation that flamed anew by the kindling and intoxication of her mental state. “Child.… dar-ling.” Did she really want to engage? Strip everything down to the roots, up to the base, but only to the roots found in the most shallow of layers -- the base, in other words. She decided to go ahead and bring everything to surface value. “You asserted just a moment ago that I cannot understand your ‘affliction’ because I’ve not experienced it myself… By that statement, you claim with certainty that I have never encountered similar troubles to your own, implying that you know of my past and can confirm your presumption with impossibly-divined knowledge.” Her dry tone was laced with an undercurrent of cool distaste, for once reflecting her sentiments with sincerity. The two of them were on completely different wavelengths.

“I do not pass judgement upon you or your life. I don't try to fix the brokenness in you. You on the other hand have done nothing but try to figure me out. Isn't it enough to just leave me alone. Leave me to my fury and my hate. Is it so wrong for me to hate those who have hurt me? You are right. I am afraid of females, not because of their femininity, but because I have a right to be afraid. Isn't it nature for you to fear things that hurt you. What future is there for me? What future can a wretch like me deserve?”

Faris dissected his words to uncover its source, decipher their unadulterated-yet-quite-literal meaning, and emerged with pity and disdain for what she believed Kade had proposed. “Well then, would you like to tread in place for the rest of your humdrum existence? Do you really want to be hateful and alone for the rest of your life? Consider those thoughts before you make your response.” Faris had believed it a relief to move on from the past, to withstand against condemning acceptance and fruitless self-pity; she had thought it a desirable thing, to repudiate the laws laid out by the intangible overlord “fate,” though after Kade’s performance... perhaps not.

His torrent of insults was swallowed with a certain tolerance, touched by neither amusement nor well-deserved contempt as she delved for the cause rather than the aim, the reason for his angry words rather than succumbing to the caustic effect that would have been spurred had she taken them at face value. She couldn’t help but sift his tone and his bearing for evidence of a more genuine truth than mere accusation, and derived the exact same conclusion that she had in her earlier exploit. Nothing had changed. They were talking in circles, or perhaps from two sides of an uncrossable line, but each round seemed to take them closer to the center, deeper into a shallow predicament.

Infinite regress. The words ghosted her thoughts as she watched the he-wolf leap at her with jaws agape, eyes of wretched rain, watched in silence as he lunged in desperation and then felt a dismay that broiled and devastated with a self-denunciation that throbbed deeper than her own -- and she could not find the will to peel away. For reasons inexplicable to those who have tasted neither her jubilation nor her despair, Faris allowed the two bodies to clash and the teeth to sink into her shoulder, willed her lips to fold back in triumphant snarl as the two of them decimated the grassy earth with their fitful struggles, marred the air with grating snarls. The foliage was garnished with crimson tears that splattered in frenzied mimicry of the black wolves’ movements, though none of it was his.

Would you believe it now, that not everything is consistent, not everyone is the same; nothing has been inscribed into your soul under the alias “fate.”

“Nobody here will be your angel, but this place you are in -- this is not hell.”

Nails scrabbling against the mass that crushed against her ribs, Faris aimed a snap at his throat with only the intention of restraining the fool. She had tried showing him the road that led away from his dilemma, though to walk away from the familiar torture to an unknown freedom was a task impossible for all but Kade himself.

Words : 812
Muse : I'm sure you know. xD
Tags : Kade
Notes : This is a dreadful post, I'm sorry. ;;

[Kade]

Kade was so relieved to have the blackness envelop him in it's sweet black embrace. It always felt better when he stopped trying to control the rage and the fury that bubble forth. Faris was content to provoke him and if she insisted it would help then he would stop running from it. He would let the dark feeling take him over and trust that Faris would help him get better. Faris bled from a the few scratches that he left her with, the crimson staining the plants nearby. Kade was envious of her condition. He wanted to bleed. TO get all of his frustration and fear out. "Come at me then. Make me better.", he challenged pushing the rational part of his brain further and further into the black. It's embrace was gentle and it took care of the pain. It was only when he reemerged from it would he feel the after effects of this battle. For now he was content to wallow in the rage. He lunged at Faris again snapping and growling at her in a savage display of anger. He wanted to hurt to be proven wrong. To prove her wrong. He wanted to feel the same things he had felt when the other females had attacked him just to have something to cling to. Kade wanted to be free of the fear, but he couldn't part with the hate. Not when he was like this. "Don't rob me of my hate. It is all I have left.", he snarled clashing against her again and again. This was something that he knew, something that was familiar. Even though he had no skill to defend himself with he was still a male. Fighting seemed to be second nature to him, driving him towards blood.

[Faris]

It was probably the first time he had ever fought back -- that was what crossed her mind, when fury glazed over the tortured look that had formerly pooled from his eyes. His challenge was an expression she was familiar with -- wide-eyed wrath, utter loss of control -- and she delighted in its appearance as it brought alleviation and a shadow of tranquility, yet also chaos and fragile instability -- the reverie of insanity. He seemed to savor the taste of blood that for once was not his own, though his words reminded her that his conscience did not function in the same fashion as did the gears of her labyrinthine mind, and that his escape could not have been as she’d predicted: he had not run from her, but at the same time he had run away from his own salvation. He had advanced in the playing board of life, but it had been a crooked step forward.

Faris heeded his request with unloaded vengeance. His movements lacked design, his advances predictable, so she blew a hole in his course-less ship and rejoiced as it sank: sidestepping his lunge with ease (though without the deftness that accompanied a fully-functional shoulder) the she-wolf painted her wounds onto the canvas of her reflection with a whiplash strike toward Kade’s left shoulder, the spot where his fangs had met her flesh.

He had fought back, there was no need to fear -- not for his sake, and not for her sex. But as for hate, it was the last piece of history that clung to his pelt and smoldered away at normalcy and peace. Hate was his other burden, she would not alleviate it.

It had been a crooked step forward, but still… he had advanced, and for that Faris laughed.

Words : 300
Muse : surprisingly good
Tags : Kade
Notes : It was so hard, cutting out words to make it exact. xD

[Kade]

Her laughter spurred him on as he leapt at her again and again. The teeth sinking into his shoulder barely registered as pain and made the fight so much more fun. He jerked to the side allowing her teeth to shred more of his flesh, the blood beginning to dapple the ground. As different as they were they still bled the same color, staining the ground crimson as they went. He wanted more of the pain and ore of the blood. The only way this was going to end was when one of them succeeded in defeating the other. If Faris wanted him to go down she would have to do nothing short of wounding him until he couldn't go any further. If she didn't he would only pick himself back up and attack until there was nothing left. His shoulder was on fire, screaming at him. When he looked down he could see his rash actions had torn a large chunk of his shoulder apart. Blood poured from it coating his leg in the hot sticky liquid. This fight would be shorter than he anticipated if he continued to bleed out at this rate. "More.", he snarled in a very rough voice. He wanted to keep on until he couldn't pick himself back up. She had wanted to teach him a lesson and put him in his place and now it seemed he craved the same. His tail wagged as he rushed her again, his main goal not to hurt her, but to have her get him. It was the only thing he knew. The only thing that was familiar to him and it was like a second nature he couldn't help but revert to. The pain and the anger were like old friends both welcoming him home.

[Faris]

It was ineffable, how much he had skewed her rationale until it was unrecognizable even to the mind that concocted it.

It was indescribable, how abruptly this he-wolf had swung from the pitiful fool that he was to the inane masochist that he apparently also was, and at this change of pace her mirth and derision for his behavior resurfaced along with a newfound-but-subtle sense of unease. More, he had said as he tore his own flesh from his body with her teeth. It was as if he wanted to be redeemed for his infinitesimal wit through retribution of some sort… and Faris did not understand it, nor did she try to make sense of the muddled ramblings that spouted from a mouth that made about as much sense in a more lucid state of mind. If he would not attempt to meet her halfway, she would not put forth further effort to decipher his misdirected desires.

She deftly leapt back as he faltered for a moment to wag his tail. In pleasure? Indulgence? Faris bared her fangs once again as the brute charged at her. While his movements were sloppy as always, there was a new element, intention perhaps -- as if his attack wasn’t designed be effective, his efforts weren’t purposed to reap. The moment she sidestepped him without any sort of rebound on the male’s part, Faris realized he had lunged without the aim to strike. The dusky she-wolf immediately took advantage of his purposeful misstep and snapped at his foreleg with merciless force; she intended to topple his masochistic exhilaration and bring him back to something more gratifying than insincere understanding and unfeeling delusion. For all the effort she had exerted, Faris wanted this whelp to at least have enough conscience to remember what it was she had done.

Words : 303
Muse : eh
Tags : Kade
Notes : xxx

[Kade]

The pain of Faris' attacks was the only thing keeping him grounded. Reality and memory seemed to blur in his mind pulling him further into the fog. Faris didn't seem to be pleased with him either way. It seemed like she couldn't stand him in any capacity, but who could blame her. He lacked courage and conviction of his actions and sheer force of will. He was too weak to beat whatever condition plagued him. Kade could recognize her efforts to help him, she wanted him to get over the worst of his problems. He could tell himself all day that he wanted that outcome, but his words would lack some truth. He wasn't sure if he was ready to give it up. He could preach all her wanted, act like the self righteous victim, but it wasn't the truth and he knew it. A part of him had know it the whole time. The choices he had made while in that hell hole had been made in the hopes of survival, but that didn't justify them. Despite not hurting the others he was at the compound his actions had caused hurt among others of his kind. Things that were inexcusable. Kade hummed with pleasure as she snapped down on his foreleg causing more blood to flow. At this rate he would be able to pass out from blood loss and reawaken his more normal self. He didn't know any other way to break the pattern of furious outbursts. The fury would linger on for days until he lost consciousness. "More!", he snapped knowing no other way to end this. He knew that Faris wanted to help him to prove something, but his brain was too fuzzy to comprehend her lesson. He would see Faris one moment and then another female the next. Memory blurring with what was actually happening.