Dirty Little Secret. [Athena]

[Jaienyx]

It was not a secret that her friend had given birth - her best friend, really - and it was not a secret that it had taken her some time to be happy about it. She was happy, of course, somewhere deep down, but her dislike, if that was a strong enough term, for the male gender made it difficult for her to appreciate the way that pups came about. When she had first met Athena, she had suspected that she was different from the rest, that she was too prideful, much like herself, to give into the ruinous lust inside of her. It was a disease, if nothing else, infectious and rotten, and she had foolishly believed that Athena was above letting the disease inside of her head. She could not be certain whether or not Athena thought that she had made a mistake, truthfully she had seen little of her since being accepted into Valyn, but she sought to make a change. It was important for her to understand her friend’s thoughts and feelings; she had to be positive that Athena had not misled her into believing that she was better than she actually was, because if that was the case, then she had used the term “best friend” far too loosely. Perhaps it was not healthy how quickly Jaienyx could change her mind about someone, how quickly she could lose hope in their worth, but she was heavily opinionated, anyone could see that, and so she trudged through the thick foliage of the jungle purposefully, arriving at the hollow that smelled of Athena and pausing just outside.

She had brought something for her silvery companion to eat, certain that she had not left her post since the pups were born, understanding that there were many threats to such young, helpless creatures in the middle of a jungle of predators. She gently placed the rodent onto the floor just beyond the inside of the hollow - she would never talk with her mouth full - before announcing her presence with a soft clearing of her throat, not wanting to raise her voice too loudly in the chance that the puppies were asleep. “It’s me.” Jaienyx was too conceited to give her name, to offer it delicately like she was someone whose presence needed to be accepted or declined, and besides, she believed wholeheartedly that Athena would recognize the sound of her voice, and would then jump at the opportunity to spend time with her. It was hard to believe that anyone would not be frantic to spend time with her, to inhabit the entirety of her time and attention; she blindly assumed that Athena would be grateful that she would consider taking the time out of her day to search for her, to bring her a meal, and to visit her and her newborns.


Mostly, she just wanted information, to have the inklings of an idea as to how this pregnancy had occurred in the first place, but her dearest friend did not need to know that.

After the appropriate amount of time, Jaienyx ducked inside of the hollow, clutching the rodent between her teeth and then placing it near Athena’s paws, out of reach from the puppies should they awaken and begin to squirm. “I’ve brought you something to eat. I thought you would be famished.” There was the flecks of a smile before her dark eyes averted from the mother’s face to that of the four adolescents, attempting to catch a small glimpse of them from around Athena’s protectively arched frame. “Are they everything you hoped for them to be?” It was a fair question, because what mother didn’t spend night after night picturing her young in the flesh, wondering how many there would be, if they would be beautiful boys or girls, if they would take after mother or father . . . from what she could see, there was perhaps one, maybe two, that did not quite share Athena’s silvery complexion, hinting towards sharing the father’s dominant traits, but she was incapable of putting together who it could be.

Athena had thus far told her nothing.

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Word Count: 686.
Tags: @athena
OOC: N/A.

[Deleted]

She knew her secret had likely been discovered, though no one had ventured near her in those earliest weeks. She had not intentionally hidden the news of her litter from her pack – by the end of the ordeal, her condition was plainly obvious – but the circumstances behind their conception were a different story. As her belly grew and her impending motherhood became more apparent, not one of her Valyn pack mates had asked about the identity of her brood’s sire. It was just as well, since Athena could not assign a moniker to the stranger who had turned her from a sullen she-wolf to a mother. Even she did not know his name, in spite of their shared moment of passion, a fleeting longing that burned away into utter disgust, smoldering and furious in the depths of the storm. She saw hints of the male in their colors, the darkness of their pelts that Athena lacked. Only one, a small female, closely resembled Athena, while the others sported various ebony markings reminiscent of their wretched sire. The boy’s fur was the darkest of all, even darker than the brute that had created him.

It still did not feel real. The agony of birth seemed a distant nightmare, as if she had experienced it in imagination only. Since then, she had scarcely left her pile of pups. The soft sounds of the sleeping litter kept her watchful, ever alert, even though she was close to the rest of her pack. She left only when she became famished to find a mouse or any morsel of food she could catch. The litter drained her energy. Undoubtedly, she had lost a few pounds since their birth. In the end, however, she had convinced herself that it was all worth it – the pain, the hunger. She was responsible for four new lives. It was both terrifying and thrilling all at once.

They remained nameless still, for she did not wish to become too attached to pups that were destined for an early grave, but her efforts were futile. She could not help but love the four pups that depended on her. Each seemed healthy, though two of the girls were tiny and seemed to grow more slowly than the others. Now their eyes were open wide, seeing the world around them for the first time as their budding personalities were beginning to show. Even so, she could not decide what names to use for her little ones, what might fit them when they were grown up and living their own lives – happy ones, she hoped, as all mothers wish for their offspring.

They do not need a father. Valyn will be their home. Here, they will be safe.

The scent of another roused her attention. Her heart fluttered within her ribcage. Athena had hoped she would come soon, though a nagging voice inside of her head insisted that the golden female would never forgive her for her misdeeds. Patiently she had waited to be discovered. With every snap of a broken twig or rustle of leaves, Athena had looked with anticipation to see if she was there.

The gold fur of the she-wolf was unmistakable. Athena had never seen another wolf like her before. ”Yes. Thank you. I'm happy –“ Her pulse raced as the other’s familiar tone filled the stillness of the day. Words faltered on her tongue, and the silver female offered a grateful smile as Jaienyx drew closer. ”I am glad to see you again.”

Her eyes turned, finally, away from Jaienyx to gaze at the napping pups curled up by her side, serene and sweet. They were rather small. In the shadows of the giants that a femme like Valeria would breed, her litter was relatively ordinary. The idea comforted Athena. If they were small, they would not be expected to fight someday. Instead, she dreamt of teaching her pups about the art of healing, for the good of the pack and its future, just as her mentor had taught her about the ancient knowledge of life. ”They are amazing. Three of them are female.”

words: 701

tag: Jaienyx 

[Jaienyx]

She was happy to see her despite the wriggling balls of fur tucked against her side. Puppies were something that she had never dreamed of having herself, and even though they were cute in some sense of the word, she could do nothing to ease the slight discomfort that caused a prickling along the back of her neck. It was not entirely clear as to what thoughts Jaienyx had on the matter, because even though she inwardly shuddered at the revolting sight of newborns, she outwardly smiled with mouth and eyes alike, and that was presumably all of the convincing that would be required of her to make it appear as though she too wished to rejoice in this the gift of life.

The look on the newly made mother’s face was something of pride, of kindness, something that Jaienyx had never witnessed before, and she could only absently wonder whether or not it was the kind of something that was reserved for special moments like this. She didn’t know what it felt like to care about someone so irrevocably, to look at someone the way that Athena looked at her pups, like she didn’t know whether it was more appropriate to be excited or to be afraid. Surely, the silvery female was new to this whole ordeal, because even though amazing was perhaps an agreeable term she had nevertheless been patiently expecting something a little more descriptive, something to satisfy her insatiable thirst to remain the stubbornly all-knowing queen, but at the very least she could concur that three of them were substantially more amazing than the fourth.

Discovering that one of them was male was enough to avert her sights, searching the mother’s face for a telling sign of mirrored disappointment. She would not tolerate a male being in her own litter - it was among the reasons why she refused to succumb to parenthood - and she immediately found it questionable why Athena had yet to get rid of the useless pup. Forbid that a piece of her heart had actually been offered to the whelp, because despite her efforts to be the caring mother that he undoubtedly needed, it would mean nothing once he saw with his own two eyes how worthless he was compared to his three sisters. Already Jaienyx silently shunned him, her eyes polite despite their sharpness; she was unimpressed with Athena for giving him equal attention to that of his siblings, and even though there was yet a word to be said on the matter, the accusation was clear:

Surely he does not mean something to you?

The sigh that followed was far from soft, eyes of arguable obsidian pausing on the petite body of one of the females. “I would name her Willow -” it was a mere suggestion, but returning her sights to Athena, there was an unannounced push for her to accept it as, perhaps, a gift. “- unless you have already chosen a name for this one.” She was not asking because, frankly, she found it only fitting that Athena take the name that Jaienyx had offered to her. If they had gotten close, as Jaienyx liked to believe that they had, then it would not be unusual for a pup to receive its name from a friend of the mother. It was a sweet name, a peaceful name, and even though she would not label her own child with it - it was too bland for her more formal tastes - it seemed nice enough for one of Athena’s.

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Word Count: 586.
Tags: @athena
OOC: LOLOL the last line of this post is so Jaienyx. I loved it way too much.

[Deleted]

”No. I have – I have not named them yet. I wanted to wait until – well, you know how it is when they are so young,” she commented in hushed tones, the meaning of her words left unspoken. ”Willow.” She repeated Jaienyx’s offering, brows knit in contemplation as she looked down at the pup. The young female was rather adorable, even though she barely resembled Datura, and she never seemed to grow when her sister and brother thrived. There was something endearing about the little dark striped femme. With a faint nod and a growing smile, orange eyes returned to the beautiful fae, whose golden fur stood out in contrast against Athena and her litters’ hues of silver and ebony. She was perfection, untainted, and Athena was anything but. ”Willow is good. It is perfect. For the others…” A name was an honor bestowed upon a new generation, a gift from a pup’s parents – the start of an identity, picked with all the love and hope a new parent should possess. It was a big responsibility, and she had no qualms about letting Jaienyx contribute to giving a name that would last as long as the wolf who bore it. While some new mothers would be offended or indifferent to the opinions of others, it was different with Jaienyx.

Her muzzle lowered to gently nuzzle the biggest of the females, her firstborn. She would be strong, and she would grow to be bigger than her mother. Malnutrition had left Athena small, but her daughter would have a very different life. She would be an asset to the pack someday – a hunter, perhaps, or a healer. ”Her name will be Lethe. Like the river…” Her words tapered off, uncertain of Jaienyx’s knowledge when it came to the world of unseen deities, all the heroes of legends, and of hell. Athena had once heard the story of the River Lethe, where the newly dead to forget the life that had existed before their descent to the Underworld – something that every mortal would experience when their days on earth had come to an end. Athena was not certain if she really believed the stories. Somehow, the name felt right for the pup, in spite of its morbid connotations.

The second small female, silver fur and shining eyes, was likely the runt of the litter, but that did not matter to a wolfess like Athena. A thorn stings, even if it is small. She gave the little female an affectionate lick, mussing the fur on her tiny head. ”And Tempest, my little one.” She did not elaborate about the stormy night of conception – the overwhelming passion, repulsive and angry – but Athena did not offer an explanation for her decision. The life of a runt was never certain. Many died in their first months of life, unable to compete with their larger littermates, but Athena was determined. She would not lose any of her precious daughters. She hoped each would be strong and wise, but more than anything else, she hoped the girls would be safe there in Valyn. She turned her attention back to the golden fae for a hint that the new mother had chosen well. All along, the nagging suspicion that Jaienyx would leave without looking back if she became aware of what had transpired that night. Athena was certain the other would not approve if she knew what really happened, and the silvery fae felt a tinge of panic at the thought of losing the esteem of the she-wolf. She needed her – the support, friendship, and her presence. Revealing the truth would bring disastrous consequences…

But Athena was adept at hiding in silence. She held more secrets than any of the others suspected – too many secrets, and she did not intend to share them. The sole male of the litter slept soundly, unaware of the growing apathy his mother felt when she looked at the final pup. She had nothing to offer him, not even a proper name.

”You are the first to meet them, Jaeinyx. The rest of the pack will meet them soon. Do you know – Have you seen Valeria’s young, or any of the others?”

words: 719
tag: Jaienyx

[Jaienyx]

A smile was given in the place of words, for there was nothing that needed to be said. She had been kind enough to offer her dearest friend a name, something to start the process so that she might feel driven to name the others herself, and it had been accepted gratefully, but she hadn’t expected anything else from the silvery she-wolf that admired her so. There was a moment in which her eyes, normally absent of heartfelt emotion, seemed to soften upon examining the tiny pup, Willow, because even though it was not her own daughter, even though she had no real attachment to the squirming newborn, she had named her, and that alone seemed worth something that she couldn’t quite explain. It didn’t take long for the moment to pass, and soon Jaienyx was back to being herself, a glassy expression drawn on her face as though she had no clue that mere seconds ago she had almost felt like she could be an important part of Willow’s life if she wanted to be. That was not normal, she never wanted to feel that way again, and so she stubbornly elevated her chin, refusing to spend anymore of her time on the young one. If Athena had noticed, and if she dared to ask, then Jaienyx would simply explain how she looked forward to seeing youthful minds shape themselves into intelligent and loyal sisters of Valyn. It was the logical explanation, after all, for there was not a bone in her body that could ever truly be kind.

Was there?

Needless to say it wasn’t worth pondering, so she instead chose to focus on Athena, listening intently as she named her other two daughters - there was no denying the electric pulse of relief that swam inside of her veins upon noticing that she purposefully didn’t give the male any form of identification. Whatever affection she had spied earlier seemed to be gone, and she was glad to see that. She couldn’t stand for someone like Athena, everything proper about a female, to be broken by something as useless as a son. He was going to have a hard life, of that she was certain, but she felt no sympathy. She couldn’t blame him for being born the way that he was, but for as long as he was in Valyn, for as long as he walked the same grounds as Jaienyx, he would understand his place, and he would pay the consequences of being a male for the rest of his life.

“Willow, Lethe, and Tempest . . . wonderful choices.” She dipped her golden head as a sign of her approval, “I’m afraid that I have not had the honour of meeting another litter outside of your own, but word has spread that Valeria’s delivery was successful. The pack will hopefully be given a chance to meet them soon.” Since she was the Alphess of Valyn, Jaienyx rightfully expected greatness from those pups in particular: she expected a proper heir, and intelligent, dignified, and worthy females. Perhaps one day she would find herself willing to gift Valyn with daughters of her own, but until then, she was content that other females had brought new life into their ranks, and more than anything, she was content that the season was almost at its end. How she hated the male and female temptation.

“You said that Lethe was named to be like the river,” she offered as a means of being conversational, “I would be grateful to hear more about it if you have the time.” Of course, she was mindful that Athena was likely fatigued, and therefore she was open to, just this once, being dismissed if need be. Her interest was minimal, but nonetheless she sought to prove that she had been paying attention, and if it would make Athena happy to see Jaienyx intrigued by what it was that she was knowledgeable about, then she would ecstatically play the role of the caring friend that, forbid, actually gave a damn about other wolves sometimes.

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Word Count: 675.
Tags: @athena

[Deleted]

She watched the veiled expressions that graced the feminine features of her friend, but Athena could not decipher what the other was thinking as Jaienyx looked down at the pups. Athena hoped she liked the girls, at least. The gold femme’s opinion of the boy went unspoken, and Athena’s gaze flitted around the male, less willing to look at him in the other’s presence. Her smile grew visibly when Jaienyx voiced her approval for the names given to the females. “Willow, Lethe, and Tempest . . . wonderful choices. I’m afraid that I have not had the honour of meeting another litter outside of your own, but word has spread that Valeria’s delivery was successful. The pack will hopefully be given a chance to meet them soon.” The golden fae made no mention of the still-nameless boy. She would find a name for him…. eventually. But Athena was in no great hurry to bestow such an honor upon her only son. There were too many uncertainties – what if he grew up to be vile and violent, like his sire?

"I look forward to meeting Valeria's little ones - however little they may or may not be, given their mother." Although she had no knowledge of who Valeria had chosen as her mate, Athena could already picture the young of the alphess – tall and strong, like their mother, sporting Valeria’s unique golden markings, inherited from their maternal line. But what if… What if Valeria delivered only males in her first litter? Would she abandon her sons as useless, or keep them in there in the jungle, where they would forever exist in the bottom rungs of Valyn society? Athena could not deny that she was very curious to see Valeria’s pups. Soon, she would bring her pups to meet the rest of the pack – even if they would look comically small compared with Valeria’s puppies.

For now, Athena was content enough just having Jaienyx there.

“You said that Lethe was named to be like the river. I would be grateful to hear more about it if you have the time.” Athena had nothing but time to spare for Jaienyx, though she did not point out the obvious to her friend.  It had not occurred to her that Jaienyx was not really interested, or just trying to make conversation.  ”The river Lethe is not one found on Anikira. Someone once told me about it, someone much older and wiser. I asked what happened when a wolf dies, and she began to tell stories of the Underworld.  The stories scared me, I was young, but – well, I thought it was fascinating. I wanted to know all about it.” Pausing, Athena took a deep breath, unaccustomed to speaking aloud in great length.  She never really had someone willing to listen before, but life was different now.  Valyn had changed Athena.  ”The first river a wolf encounters in the Underworld is Lethe. Everything from life is forgotten when a wolf drinks from the river – good or bad, the memories are gone.  Nothing left.”

words: 511
tag: Jaienyx
ooc: sorry so short! >.<