Alone and Pondering (open)

[almasa]

The hills of Nyjoro were quite impressive, to be sure. The huge mounds of grass and earth dominated the landscape for as far as the eye could see, like silent guards watching over the land of Tiayr. But size and importance had no effect on one lone black female as she wandered throughout the large area, her ears pinned to her skull so firmly that they could have become part of her head if she permitted them.

Almasa traveled through the lands at a fast trot, her eyes narrowed into the tightest slits that her field of vision would allow, low growls escaping her lips at intervals. Angrily stomping her way through the hills, the normally self-centered female didn't even care that her pelt was filthy with sand particles, dirt, and bits of leaves. All she wanted was something to take her frustration out on.

Almasa's woes had officially begun no more than a week or two ago, but they all centered around one thing. Leviticus. The first male she'd met upon washing up on this continent had left, ditched her, run for the hills. Whatever word was used, it all meant the same thing, Levi had left and wasn't likely to return.

Upon dragging her kill back to the beach, Almasa had arrived to find Leviticus no where in sight. Thinking that he'd show up eventually, she had taken a quick snooze and had woken up a few hours later. Still no Levi. And so, Almasa had submitted herself to sitting like a statue on the beach, waiting for the brute's return, which would never come.

She had waited on that godforsaken beach for what had seemed like eons, but he still hadn't shown up, and finally Almasa had to admit that he had ditched her. What other explanation could be offered for his taking off suddenly, without a word as to where he was going or why? Becoming increasingly ill-tempered as the days had worn on, Almasa had fled from the beach, passing through several territories on the way. Thus she had ended up here.

Anger and distrust radiated from the onyx female as she came to an abrupt stop in the center of one of the mounds. She was in no mood to chat with anyone right now, she'd be more likely to send them running for the hills. If she ever ran into Leviticus again, there was a good chance that she'd tear his throat out without hesitation. Almasa was utterly and madly pissed off, and nothing was going to stop her from doing something that she would regret.

"Ugh.... damn it!" Almasa swore as she pawed madly at the grass, scuffing it into countless pieces and leaving nothing behind but exposed dirt. Was she really so despicable that no one even wanted to be around her? No, Almasa would never believe that. True, her highly-tuned sense of hygiene could be mildly annoying at times, but only certain people ever got a taste of that.

She had her faults, just like everyone else. Almasa sighed, slumping to the snow-covered ground and staring up at the rolling clouds. It's really getting to be time where I should just settle down... join a pack, find a mate.... maybe even have pups... But Almasa didn't even know where to start, she didn't know that much about the neighboring packs, and she needed someone to explain them to her in order to choose properly.

But this area currently seemed to be in a slight lack of wolves.... and so Almasa was left alone to ponder to herself.

[shadai]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,false][atrb=border,1,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/misfitdemon/shaddytxtbg.jpg,true] ooc; Pretty sure I need to darken this background a little, sorry if it's hard to read. New places, new faces; Shadai could hardly contain her excitement… Or, rather, she could hardly contain it a couple days ago. In truth, the female had been wandering around aimlessly for quite some time now, but had been doing all she could to avoid the wolves around here. As far as she could tell from the scents and lack of, well, everything, this land belonged to no pack. That was no reason for her to assume that she could approach anyone she felt like, for the sake of being sociable; hostility was always to be expected from strangers. Eventually she would have to interact with someone, it was just bound ot happen. But there was no need to rush such things. Everything would come in time. That said, a part of her was truly hoping time wouldn’t take too long. Normally she didn’t mind being alone, but for whatever reason, Shad found herself feeling somewhat uneasy here; alone in unfamiliar lands that she didn’t know her way around. There were a lot of things that could happen, and while she had a basic understanding of how to keep her wounds clean and protect them from infections, she couldn’t fend off another wolf for long… Or a bear, or whatever she might run into out here. Her beige-like coat ruffled in a chilly gust, bringing with it the reminder that it was indeed the only thing she could ever recall truly disliking; Winter. She managed a sigh before her body quivered from the cold. But, one other thing had tagged along with the wind, and it happened to be the scent of another; female, as far as Shadai was aware. That didn’t mean it was safe to waltz right up to her and converse, but she did think this wolf might be just a bit easier to approach than a male. Her reason for that was unknown even to herself, though she figured it may have something to do with the fact that her last interaction with a male had been binding the one that had nearly killed her. Regardless, this was no time to reminisce. If she wasn’t careful, things could go badly. Shadai acted based on what her nose told her: a turn here, a turn there, this direction for a little bit longer… It wasn’t long before she felt as if she were near enough that she ought to stop, rather than risk finding herself in a mess. So now she was stuck with the real question – should she wait to be noticed, or make the first move herself? Lacking an idea of how to strike up a conversation without it being awkward, the femme simply continued onward, moving around the other female, stopping when she was upwind. She found herself wondering, as she stood there inelegantly, if such a situation would have been easier if she had ever actually tried to seek out a pack to settle in with. Perhaps she wouldn’t be so anxious; then again, if she had actively sought a pack and found one, she probably wouldn’t be in this situation at all. Shad’s ears flattened for a quick second as the thoughts continued; she could be comfortable with a family, and safe. But that would require regretting her past decisions, and such a thing couldn’t happen. It was only once you let regret embrace you that true satisfaction moved farther out of reach. Shadai snorted the thoughts away and looked in the female’s direction; not only was she upwind, but she wasn’t hidden either. A wolf in plain sight staring at another might have been somewhat awkward, Shadai really wasn’t certain to be honest. All she could do was act on instinct, and hope that it would guide her through everything.

[almasa]

Almasa still sat perched on the mound like a sphinx, staring up at the clouds as they lazily rolled by. Oh, how she wished she could be more like them, carefree and going wherever the winds decided to take her. But alas, she was stuck on the cold, unforgiving ground, and it was probably going to stay that way. And so the Gray female found herself alone, staring up at the sky just to pass the time.

Almasa remained in this position for the lapse of several minutes, until a fresh scent hit her nostrils, causing her head to turn. Great, another wolf to befriend her and then ditch her at the last possible minute. Almasa just didn't have the heart to chase off whoever it was, though. She needed someone, anyone, to socialize with, even if that someone ended up being the most vicious wolf on the continent.

As the wolf showed itself, Almasa turned to it with an assessing look, gathering more information. Female this time, and slightly older than her, too. But wait a moment... something about this female looked strangely familiar. How could it? I've never even met this wolf before, why would she be familiar? Almasa just couldn't put her paw on it.... until she got a closer look at the female's physical appearance.

Almasa stumbled backwards, gasping in shock. That brown streak was exactly like the one her old mother had. No... it couldn't be... she's dead.... isn't she? That brown streak brought back so many memories.... of her mother, and Lamenta, who had been almost an exact replica of their parent. And with that, Almasa's mind entered "instant flashback" mode, taking her back to the day when she had been exiled from the territory....

***

She'd been waiting for one report, one little report that would tell her all she needed to know about her father's condition. Pacing worriedly, she hadn't even seen Lamenta come up to her, emerald eyes glittering in silent triumph. "Well, well. Worrying over Dad's future, eh? Well, he's gone now. I'm the new alpha, just like he wanted. Perfect, isn't it?" her older sister had pronounced, smirking as she did so.

Almasa had remained expressionless, staring out into nothingness. "Perfect for you, you mean. You've been wanting his position ever since the day we started training to become monsters, killers. What kind of life is th-" The female was quickly interrupted by a hard blow to her stomach that sent her sprawling across the dirt floor of the clearing.

Lamenta stood over her, snarling. "Enough blabbering. Let's just get to the point where I tear your throat out.... unless, of course, you're willing to fight me to save it. You've always been Mom and Dad's favorite.... now it's my turn for success!" the young alphess snarled, gloating.

Almasa just stared back at her, eyes filled with disbelief. "They will never be our parents, why you think that is beyond me. Lamenta, I'm not going to fight my own sister. So go ahead, tear me to shreds. See if I care." The Gray female had then winced as razor-sharp teeth dug into her neck and tossed her roughly to one side. Lamenta just stood there, smoldering, deluded into the fanasty of a sibling battle.

"If you value your pitful life, you will fight me! Poor, poor Almasa. You're in trouble again, and this time nobody's around to save you." Lamenta had screamed, lunging toward her sister. "You won't be so flawless when I'm done with you!"

And so Almasa had been forced to fight back in self-defense. Round and round they went at each other, slashing and growling, until Almasa was too weak to fight anymore. "Pathetic. Just like our former parents. You can't even fend for yourself properly, you're always so useless.... why can't you be more like me?" Lamenta jabbered on and on, while Almasa just sat there nursing her wounds.

No, Almasa was nothing like her sister. She would never be a killer ever again. And so she had remained in stony silence while Lamenta monologued on and on. But her sister wasn't through with her yet. Leaning down, she had dug her claws into Almasa's skin, thus producing a loud yelp from the onyx female. "Get out of my territory, bitch."

And so Almasa had fled, and to this day she had never looked back....

***

Almasa jolted back to reality fairly quickly, spending perhaps no more than five minutes in her flashback, and looked over at the female who was still waiting patiently for her to introduce herself. Standing upright, Almasa managed to stammer out a quick, "S... Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, it's just.... you reminded me of someone I knew..." And with that, the female lasped into silence once more.

The female could think what she wanted to think about the awkward silence that had passed between them, Almasa could really care less what she decided to do. She'll probably think I'm crazy and awkward, then leave.... but I'm used to that. the Gray female thought, sighing loudly, ears turned in the female's direction as she waited for a reply to her oddly-timed flashback.

[shadai]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,false][atrb=border,1,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/misfitdemon/shaddytxtbg.jpg,true] Shadai had been standing there, feeling somewhat foolish until she finally saw a reaction from the female. Well, then again, that reaction didn’t make her feel any less a fool than before. In fact, at the gasp she could only wonder what she had done; had she rolled in something? Was her disposition appearing wrong? Was she in a more threatening pose than she had intended? Shadai wasn’t sure, but she was certainly quick to put her ears down and curl her tail. There was no way she would allow herself to cause problems already; she was relieved that she finally was crossing paths with another wolf, so she couldn’t blow it. As she studied this femme closer, she got the feeling that she was being looked past, rather than at. Perhaps this was nothing Shad could control, she was unsure. For a brief moment, the thought of turning and leaving had crossed her mind, but she knew it was not an option. Shadai needed a pack. She was only growing older, and in all honesty she wasn’t certain she could take much more time alone. Again, she was standing there dumbfounded, not entirely sure what she could do to make the interaction any less… strange. Nothing came to mind, even though she spent a good portion of the ‘awkward silence’ time trying to come up with some ideas. And, well, what better solution than to plop down on her rear? At least she was comfortably uncomfortable. A hint of a grin showed up on her muzzle as Shad noticed the female come back again. "S... Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, it's just.... you reminded me of someone I knew..." Her ears perked up at the words, and Shadai rose to a stand and took a few steps out of the shrubbery she had been semi-hidden by. She could only manage a soft chuckle as words raced through her head, trying to decide on what to say. Social interactions would definitely need to be worked on, she knew. ”I hadn’t thought it was rude, there’s no need for apologies,” she finally mumbled, struggling to not let her words spill hopelessly from her mouth. As far as she could tell, though that wasn’t far at all, she was remaining fairly composed. She could only hope she appeared as composed as she thought, or else this would be much stranger than it needed to be. In her worries about, well, everything, she realized she forgot something. Her eyes widened for a second before she added on hastily, ”Oh, I’m Shadai.”

[/color] Perhaps more could have been added to that, so it didn’t seem so forced and choppy, but Shadai figured it was best to leave it at that. If this female offered her own name, then she assumed things were going well; if that was not the case, well, so be it.
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[almasa]

The female at first seemed rather confused by Almasa's actions, lowering herself into a more submissive position. Almasa really couldn't blame her, with as caught up in the past as the onyx female was, her flashback would probably not go over well with any company she received. Laying down in the snow-covered ground, Almasa exhaled softly as she waited for the female to leave, or say something insulting.

She'll be like any other wolf I've met, though.... either utterly loathes me, or laughs in in my face, pretending to like me and then ditching me later.... Almasa thought, snarling slightly. She could just kill Leviticus right now, she could just kill him! Hell, Almasa could kill anyone that didn't play their cards right around her right now. Her lack of proper friends had just been making the female more and more tempermental lately.

Almasa had dozed off quite a bit in the time that it took the female to reply, so when she did it was a bit of a shocker to the black female. Her head slowly swiveled in the female's direction, brown gaze unusually blank as she caught the female's attempt at an introduction. ”I hadn’t thought it was rude, there’s no need for apologies...oh, I’m Shadai.” As the female finally bothered to give her name, Almasa gave a light grunt in response to her statement.

"Almasa." was all that the Gray female dared to say in response. She had lately fallen into depression mode, so desperate for company but finding none, losing the will to converse with people, afraid they'd turn away or scorn her. The neighboring packlands to Lamenta's had been no better, knowing of her adoptive father's past. And so the young Almasa had found herself constantly yearning for company. She had never found any until Leviticus had come along.

In all truth, he was the first male that she hadn't wanted to slay in a long time. He had ditched her anyway. Letting out a strangled sob, Almasa shook her head. It was all pointless. She would never find a friend, her personality prevented her from doing so. Her seductiveness, her hygiene issues. All of it was wrong, it wasn't the way a civilized wolf was supposed to be acting and she knew it, too. Yet Almasa refused to accept it. And to think that I'd be settled by now if it weren't for these traits...

Sighing, Almasa had to come to terms with the fact that she needed to start over in her life. She needed to leave her past behind her, and never, even for a fleeting second, look back. She needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on, somebody to spill all of her emotions to. More importantly, she needed a pack. If this "Shadai" female was part of one, she could be able to help Almasa. Sighing heavily for a second time, Almasa looked back at the older female, gaze questioning as she pondered what to say or do. I won't know until I ask....

"Look, why are you even hanging around here? Don't you have a pack or something to be getting back to?" Almasa questioned in a tone that was, for the most part, fairly neutral as she eyed the female curiously, head cocked to one side slightly as she waited to hear a reply. Under normal circumstances, Almasa would have gathered in the female's scent to learn more about her, but the ever-shifting winds prevented her from doing so. All the female needed was one chance, one measly little chance to start again, to have a real sense of family.

Packs did everything together, as far as Almasa knew. Hunted together, fought together, even slept together. This was a chance for the onyx female to show what she was truely made of. Hopefully this Shadai female could provide that chance.

[shadai]

[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,false][atrb=border,1,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=background,http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/misfitdemon/shaddytxtbg.jpg,true] ooc;; Short x.x Sorry Shadai eyed the female curiously as the conversation, erm… well, it was sort of progressing. The whole process was slow, though. But perhaps it was like this for everyone, that would have been a relieving thought – to know she was doing nothing wrong or strange. With any luck, she would be able to know for sure in the near future. ’Almasa,’

[/i] she had heard, assuming it was a name of course. But then the female seemed to lose herself in her thoughts again.

At Almasa’s inquiry, Shad perked up, tilting her head just the slightest bit. ”A-ha… A pack? No. You are the first I have seen in… longer than I can remember,”[/b] she admitted, ears flattening and head falling a bit as she did so. “In fact, I had sort of been hoping you had a pack. I don’t think I can stand much more time to myself.”[/color]

Shadai’s pulse was racing now, for a reason she couldn’t be sure of. She didn’t feel nervous anymore, per se, but perhaps excited was the word? After all, while it had gotten off to an awkward start, this was a conversation. She was thankful for that, and assuming it continued, eager. Maybe if she was lucky, although she was definitely getting ahead of herself, she might find a companion in this Almasa. Shadai found it to be a nice thought, anyways.

Travelling alone was dull and wore down on her mood. Even one wolf tagging along would probably make it better. Maybe they would luck out and be able to find a pack – one they were both able to join. As soon as she realized how desperate she felt for any company at all, her ears were pinned back again and she did what she could to keep the thoughts out of her mind. There was no reason to think on it so soon, after all. [/center]


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[almasa]

”A-ha… A pack? No. You are the first I have seen in… longer than I can remember.... in fact, I had sort of been hoping you had a pack. I don’t think I can stand much more time to myself." At these words, Almasa's eyes widened a bit in slight surprise, but once again offered Shadai no response to her words. I should have known.... she doesn't have the smell of other wolves on her. the Gray female snorted, she had picked up a bit of the female's scent when the winds had shifted.

She wasn't covered with the scents of other wolves, which probably meant that she most likely was a loner, much like Almasa herself. But since her spirits had been slightly improved in the short time that she'd spent in the female's company, it really didn't bother Almasa that much. Sure, wandering around with only your heart to guide you did get rather boring, but at least you ran into company every now and then.

Sighing quietly, the onyx female sat up slightly to answer the female's question. "No, I'm not part of a pack, if I was I probably wouldn't be hanging around anywhere near here. And to be honest, you're only about the second wolf I've seen on this island...." Almasa said, speaking the truth. Besides Leviticus, Shadai was the only other wolf that had actually bothered to make contact with her in the short time that she'd spent on this island. Hopefully the female could be a bit of a better companion than Levi had been.

Looking out across the distance, Almasa had to wonder if there were indeed any packs on this island. Though she had passed through quite a few on her ill-tempered flight to these lands, most of their scent borders had seemed relatively faint. Sure, she had bothered to howl, but most of the time she was met with no answer from any of the alphas, if there were indeed alphas. Oh, what's the use of it anyway? They'll drive me out upon sight of me....

Letting out a small mental snort, Almasa berated herself, these wolves couldn't possibly know of her past. She'd only spent perhaps a month or so on this island, and besides, Lamenta wouldn't even dare to follow her here, not when she had an entire pack to keep in line. Heck, Lamenta probably thought she was dead by now. Oh, I'm far from dead, sister. And one day, I'll come back for you. One day, you'll regret everything you ever did to crush my spirit.

Almasa, suddenly being snapped out of her mental plots of revenge, looked over at Shadai and mentally cursed herself, she had to stop phasing in and out like this! If much more of this was allowed to go on, the older female would probably think her impolite and take her leave. Trotting a bit closer to the cream-colored female, Almasa spoke again.

"I really don't know that much about the packlands around here, but if you like, we could journey to one. I passed by a rather mountainous area on the way here that was to my liking... maybe we should consider those lands first." the Gray female pronounced, tail swaying to and fro slightly as she did so. Was this what it was like, to have someone that you could truely call a companion? Almasa wasn't overly familiar with the feeling, but she loved it. The young female was fired up, ready to go wherever the duo decided to go.

Giving her fur a few quick licks to smooth it back into place, Almasa looked back over at Shadai, eager to get going. There was no time for proper grooming right now, once they were there she could probably find a stream or something to wash her fur off in. Without a single word, Almasa walked forward a few steps, then turned and looked back at the older female, ears perked acutely, waiting for an answer to her request.

(OOC: Meh, mine's a bit crappy too, sorry.)