It seemed like so much time had passed since Zethrox had returned to his lands. There was so many memories held here, and he was still not sure whether or not he could face the realities of what had transpired. First, Krever. Now, Legacy. Why was it that these females were so easy to hurt him? The brute could not quite bring himself to face the reality of these things. He thought he had felt something for Krever, but could a female that had betrayed him really have meant anything to him? After his son's death, Zeth was ashamed to admit that he felt remorse for his only offspring. He had no heir, which meant the pack would have to be left to someone else upon his passing or when he grew too old to take care of business himself. It had taken every ounce of his strength to destroy the last piece of Rixes that had existed; she had been his everything, and now the remainder of his first mate was gone.
He almost could not do it. When he had looked Ardemu in the eye, he could see her staring back. Zethrox had hesitated, and that had almost been his downfall. When he looked in those eyes, they were a carbon-copy of Rixes. He could see her smile, the playfulness of her youth... Everything in his son. But he had delayed, and because of his stupidity, he had nearly lost his life. He glanced back at his hind leg, which bore a sickly scar Ardemu had bestown.
Zethrox sighed. Where are the others? he thought briefly, before crying out for what was left of the pack to join him.
Lord knows I'm doin' my best. Never a brother, always a guest.
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Step, step, step. Beat. Step, step, step.
Fenris loped on forward with a very slight smile toward the world. His silver eyes flickered from side to side, seeing the devastation, but not heeding to it. It meant no green, and, quite bluntly, no green was good. No green meant that tan could rise to the surface, or however sand got there. He dearly loved the sand with nearly all his heart, and an even warmer smile crossed his lips when he thought of the heat the sand possessed from the brilliant sun overhead. The sun was, by far, the most powerful thing in the existence of everything, and yet it only held enough heat to make him pant if he ran hard enough. Do not forget that he oh-so-dearly adored it. Coming to a stop in-between a pile of gray/tan/ whatever color they were, and a dry, prickly bush that seemed to be pretending to be a real one, Fenris wondered out of the blue what would happen if he were to leave the den. Leave it, and come out here. The thought sent him into the frozen mode, and for a few moments, the poor Maned Wolf was as still as could be. His chest rose and fell, and his eyes blinked every few seconds, but no other movement came from his entire self. Move??? He couldn't move! That would require shifting aside the things he had always loved and adored, and what if someone came to his den, searching for help? Why, all they would see was emptiness, and then they would die. The thought horrified him, and several moments passed before he shook it off, and continued his lope around the dead woods. That was all they were. Dead woods. They were not alive in any way, unlike the desert. The desert was utterly alive under the surface, and when the heat raised its iron grip on the sands, they would come out to play. That was when Fenris hunted, and gained his food. He, at times, even ate bugs to satisfy himself. Desert beetles, ants, sometimes even snakes. But no lizards. Never lizards. To eat lizards was like eating his own kind; he simply could not even think about the thought.
Pushing aside the thoughts that were akin to cannibalism, Fenris soon found himself into that happy gait of his- one of a wolf that had everything he wanted in life, and loved it. Indeed, Fenris loved that he could push aside thoughts so easily. He loved that he could be happy about just about anything, and not have any mental issues wrong with him. Or so he thought last. Last time he checked, he did not. Not even a smidgen out of-- the thought was cute off, as he found himself fascinated with a small lizard scuttling in front of him. Plopping onto his rump, Fenris watched with amazement; forgetting that this land could be very dangerous to exposed animals. Then again, he could see any animal that approached from nearly a mile radius, he comforted himself with that fact. When the lizard was done dilly-dallying, Fenris started off on his way again- to who knows where. He liked travelling, but only to the places where it wasn't too cold. He could take chilly, even a tad bit icy, but very cold? No. He was built for the sands of the desert, where the heat was in the place of the snow that continually rained down in the mountains.
Snow is a very icky wet stuff that seems like the stuff that rains down when the deserts get rain, but it is much colder. The rain is slightly warm. Snow isn't,
[/color] Fenris pondered to himself; sniffing every so often by habit. In the desert, just like in every harsh environment, he needed to be on alert for any prey. What he smelled then, however, made him cock his head to one side oh-so-slightly. Next came the near-crying howl to the wind, and his ears tilted forward by instinct. It seemed almost sorrow-full, but that was simply his assessment of things. Curiosity got the best of him, as he listened harder to the howl. It sounded like the Alpha of the Haishin pack, but didn't, at the same time. Scanning the entire picture of the burnt landscape, the Maned wolf twitched his tail from either side. Maybe he should respond. He didn't know he was here... but he should have known. This was his own territory, and Fenris had no right to be here.
Yanking his head back, Fenris let out a sharp, short, and to-the-point howl back; swivelling his ears from side to side to catch any answer that should apear. Hearing none in the near vicinity, the quirky male continued on his way until he heard the source of the howl. A wolf that looked like he had seen many things faced him back, and Fenris furrowed his forehead. There he was, but why was he looking like this? He seemed so very sad an depressed. His paws itched to go forward, but he knew that the Alpha might take it wrongly, so he planted his rump on the ground, and flickered his silver eyes with a sad look to the other male, a slight pitying whine coming from his throat. "Hello there. I hope that I wasn't intruding... but of course I was. I'm sorry. Also, I noticed the land seemed burnt..." Fenris nearly scowled at himself for stating the obvious, "... and I wasn't hunting. I mean, I didn't take anything..." the wolf fidgeted, nearly like he was under interrogation, and the heat turned to unbearable levels- he was that babbling. But he soon got himself in order, and reminded himself of his manners. He dipped his head in respect, and flicked his tail off to one side of his paws. He was acting like the wolf was staring him done, hackles raised, and his fur bristling. But all he was doing was sitting there... he guessed it was just his own many issues. Too many...[/color] he thought to himself, shaking him free, and facing the wold with respectful, but slight questioning eyes. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/font][/center]
It's a cryin' shame, It's a royal pain in the neck...
Zethrox tapped lightly against the ground with his forepaw, growing slightly impatient as he waited for the others to reappear. He yawned, exposing his dull white canines as he paused, his ears perking up at the sound of quiet, distant paw steps. There was another wolf on his territory, and they did not sound familiar. A quiet growl rumbled in the brute's throat. It had been quite some time since the wolves had dared to trespass without immediately being apprehended and killed. Now that the knaves had been taken care of, Zeth was having some difficulty adjusting to the absence of that threat. It was only a matter of time until another wolf would make the continent unsafe again; it was in his best interest to keep a vigilant watch over his terra.
The alpha's eyes drooped slightly, exhaustion hitting him as he truly felt his age. Because of his years, his body was having some difficulty bouncing back from everything that had happened; but he could not afford to let this affect his ability as alpha, otherwise some wolf might see it fit to attempt relieving him of the position. He shook his head roughly, clearing the thickness that had started settling around him. Zethrox stared intently at the brush in the distance, watching for the approach of the new wolf. Why does this wolf not bother to howl on claimed terra? he thought tersely, and not a second had passed between that thought and the howl that rippled through the air. The brute could not help but let out a dry chuckle. "Always one step ahead of me, these wolves," he muttered to himself.
What Zethrox had not expected from this newcomer was to see one so similar to a member of his own pack. It was rare that the Maned Wolves would wander this way, since most of them found it more comfortable in the Occasus than in his dead, sickly territory. If only this place were as beautiful as it used to be, perhaps the pack would thrive, he thought absently, watching the wolf that bore a resemblence to Apollo as he approached.
Zethrox smiled briefly, but the gesture did not reach his eyes. They were full of exhaustion, overworked, and straight hurt. "Hello, young one. I am Zethrox, the alpha of these lands. What brings you to my terra?" He half-expected an overly confident, swaggering wolf like the majority of the continent. But what he saw here was a simple loner, a wolf that was not much different than himself at that age. This brute was probably about as old as he had been when he had left Rixes. It was interesting to see someone so similar to his own likeness; perhaps not all wolves were different, but just was themselves in a new light the older they grew.
"You are quite lucky that you happened upon my terra, and not that of my neighbor, Exodus. He does not take quite as well to wolves wandering his lands, whether announced or not," he informed the Maned brute with a chuckle. I remember the last wolf that dared to trespass in Acerbus. I pity that fool.
The brute emitted a genuine chuckle at the wolf's observation of his lands. "Yes, indeed, they are quite burned," he agreed, amusement dancing through his eyes. "Pray, brute, what is your name?" he inquired, a soft gaze falling on the wolf. The wolf's words, his statement of the desolace of his lands, they brought back memories of Kamari. The lands were not always this way. If only those wretched humans had stayed away from us, this place would be as beautiful as they had once been. His eyes glazed over briefly, deep in thought.
"Kamari has not always been this burned. It is just now attempting to grow back. Where we stand now was once a forest," he explained to the brute. Zethrox had always loved Kamari, but there was little he could do now to salvage what it had once been. The lands were slowly growing back, but it would take a hundred years before the trees would swirl into the skies once more, covering the cracked ground with shade and allowing the thick ivy and clover to litter the forest floor once more. It had taken such a short time for the humans to destroy Kamari, and the wolf's heart still burned for the life that had once been here. Zeth had always felt a strong connection to his territory; if only there was something he could do...
Where are the others? What if this brute had been hostile, and I had fallen prey to his vicious grasp while my pack was frolicking off doing who knows what? The brute wondered off-handedly. Zethrox had yet to spy Legacy, Terror, Koli, Apollo.... Any of them. Were they all so slow to respond to his cry that they would keep him waiting with a strange wolf for long measures of time? They will hear of this later.
Lord knows I'm doin' my best. Never a brother, always a guest.
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"Hello, young one. I am Zethrox, the alpha of these lands. What brings you to my terra?"
Fenris's confused look on his face made his forehead scrunch up, and he seemed to concentrate terribly before continuing. "Hello Zethrox. And simply because I like wandering. Although I hate change, I love road trips. However, seeing this makes me wonder what it was like before...
" The male flickered silver eyes around the burnt ground, before shifting back to the Alpha. The only reason Fenris was ever not in a pack, was because he was born without one, and also because he got all worried, anxious, and nervous around wolves that were a crowd bigger then ten. A very sick, and cramps galore. Even if he loved helping other wolves, he just couldn't do it in a pack. Besides, he had no experience with one- nothing. He knew how to fight, since his mother taught him the basic things, but he didn't know how to work with other wolves. Teamwork was something nearly all wolves should have, but he didn't, and therefore, he went his seperate paths whenever the opportunity came up. Was he scared of committing himself? Possible. More then likely was the other reason- that he simply didn't want to.
Other then that, Fenris had no answer.
"You are quite lucky that you happened upon my terra, and not that of my neighbor, Exodus. He does not take quite as well to wolves wandering his lands, whether announced or not."
Exodus? He must be one of the one's that he had already decided to not trust. Trusting him seemed to prove dangerous to all the other wolves, and he didn't like the thought of being killed or worse. "I'm assuming I wouldn't be breathing now, am I right? Ah... well. It would have been my own fault to do so. That seems a little overboard, but then again, if I were him, then I would want to protect my lands... still. Seems over-kill to me. Speaking of, why do you look so very down? Very... depressed. It makes me slightly depressed, only other wolves say that's not possible. But it is!
[/color]" Fenris nodded at this statement, before shaking his head quickly, and getting back on topic. "You don't have to answer that, of course...[/color]" The wolf shifted on his paws once more, "Because I know my questions are slightly probing, and might be a bit blunt. But I don't know, you see?[/color]" Fenris sighed a tad bit, before smiling. The smile was long over-due in coming, and even Fenris knew as much. The chuckle from the wolf made Fenris all-the-more happier, but for reasons unknown. He simply liked it when wolves chuckled, even if it was at his own expense... sort of. He knew oh so slightly when he was being fooled, and he knew when they were lying... slightly. He beat himself up about that, too, as it was his greatest weakness. Wolves taking advantage of him...
Still, his smile never ceased, and he examined the Alpha in front of him with a curiosity unrivalled. This wolf was supposed to be strong, and here he was, trying to manage smiles but failing. A depressing look slowly crept to the side of Fenris's face, but he pushed it away with another smile, and forced his silver eyes to the Alpha. He felt uncomfortable looking any wolf in the eye, and instead tended to trail off, and look past them. But he would this time. And so he did. The other wolves eyes seemed weary with a weight that seemed... more emotional then the age catching up to him. But he also seemed very kind as well- fair too.
"Yes, indeed, they are quite burned."
"I thought so...[/color]" Fenris shrugged, twitching his tail over his front paws, and sneezed. "Sorry," he apologized, flickering his gaze once again over the burnt used-to-be forest. All he saw now was cracked mud, twigs and bushes trying to be the real thing. The mud was no longer that- it was the driest dirt. Insects buzzed around, over and in that dirt, wolves, and other creatures, and Fenris scratched his ear with a back paw. For the moment, his attention was distracted enough to not care about the entire amount of what could have happened with this Alpha. He could have killed him... or at the very least chased him out. But instead, he simply sat there. At least he got a chuckle, Fenris thought with a chuckle of his own.
"Pray, brute, what is your name?"
"Fenris. Sir,[/color]" Fenris tacked on the end as an afterthought, dipping a head to the Alpha. His mother always said to say 'sir' and dip his head to someone higher in rank then him, but he sometimes forgot at times. Like he did so at the beginning. He felt himself slightly become embarrassed, but shoved it aside with an easy-going smile. Friendly in nature. He could be normal at times, and he never was quite as bad as he was in his early teen and child years. Still, more often then not, he was in that mood. Friendliness was average to the wolf, and he refused to not do so. At the weirdest times, he could be normal. After a rant, Fenris could be as normal as any other wolf, but could easily lapse back into it. It didn't hinder anything, though, and so he let whatever happen, happen.
Friendliness was average to him- same as being chatty and helpful. But it seemed to be at odds with his deep voice, and look to himself. He could be pretty menacing, but he shuddered at the thought. Being menacing was very... weird to him. It meant betraying some trusts, and that didn't bode well with him. Instead, he lived a peaceful life of a loner, and possibly even got to help out a wolf who was injured... or someone else.
"Kamari has not always been this burned. It is just now attempting to grow back. Where we stand now was once a forest."
Fenris's eyes widened slightly in surprise, and his silver eyes flickered around the place with a renewed type of thinking. Yes, he could see this as a forest... before, maybe. Not now, though. "Wow... I bet when it's all grown again, it would be more beautiful the the sands...[/color]" He replied in a quiet voice. Even he saw this as an important moment. Like he couldn't break it in any way, or it would make it not grow at all again. See? I can be serious[/color], he thought silently, focusing his eyes on the cracked earth below his paws. This was a very different situation... he didn't like barging in like this. Or anything, really. He shrugged it off, but didn't shift his eyes back up to the wolf. Almost like he forgot, but the constant twitch in his shoulder showed that he knew.
Zethrox nodded. "Change can be the downfall of the greatest, yet it can be the rising of the brightest stars," he spoke to the brute. It was true; he had never been a fan of change, but there were so many things that could not have happened in his life if he had not taken the initiative to change himself. For one, he would be dead. There would be no Haishin Pack run by the great alpha Zethrox, the slayer of Ardemu. He would not have realized the horror of his ways, that he had grown into a monster. Zeth would have died a killer, and at the paws of his own son, for that matter. Change had saved his life multiple times, but that did not stiffle his dislike for such dramatic shifts in lifestyle. This was something new for him, too.
The Maned Wolf's analysis of Exodus's reaction brought a laugh to the brute. He would be lucky to have made it out alive, he mentally agreed, a twinkle in his eye once more. "Exodus rules his lands with jaws of steel. I would not cross him, mostly because he is a good friend and a great leader. But yes, he is a strong alpha."
It was Fenris's mention of his emotions that caught the brute off guard. Zethrox started briefly; this wolf was seeming much more like Apollo with every passing moment, but perhaps Fenris was a little wiser than his years. He was good company to the alpha, and Zeth was not prepared to send him off his lands without good reason. He had always noticed that Apollo seemed affected by the emotions of others, that he picked up on them. Maybe that is just something that their kind is capable of, he pondered. "With years comes experience, and some of those life lessons you wish you would not have to learn," he told Fenris.
"For you to fully understand my emotions, I would have to tell my life story." He chuckled, "And I am assuming that you would rather continue wandering than sit around listening to the tales of a strange brute such as myself." Zethrox thought the explanation was fair. There were likely no wolves on Anikira, with the exception of Siscarm the loner, that could understand his complexity fully. His mind worked differently than others, and his words often came out strange. "There have been much more probing questions, I assure you," he laughed.
Zethrox was impressed with this wolf. Fenris, the name of the gods, he thought absently. He could sense the wisdom this wolf had, and he was strangely attracted to his aura. Maybe what the brute was missing was companionship; it had been so long since he had truly felt as if he had a friend, and he felt much more relaxed around others. With Krever's betrayal, he had found himself questioning his own judgement. Whatever sense of security he had before had fallen with that double-cross, and it would take some time for him to reaffirm that he could trust his own judgement. There were simply moments that Zeth could not trust anyone, not even himself. Luckily, this was not one of those times.
"Well, Fenris, you have a good head on your shoulders. That will get you far in life," he stated approvingly. He smiled; it seemed as if the brute was almost uncertain of his actions around Zethrox. Probably never been a pack wolf. The etiquette comes with time, though it would probably be best for him to learn the sacridity of pack boundaries. I doubt Meikou or Vee would lay into him, but I could see Exodus doing some serious damage, even with his size. The lanky wolf towered above Zethrox, and it would have been intimidating if Zethrox had felt threatened by his presence. True, his guard was not completely down, and he could safely assume that the remainder of his pack could not be too far away to not hear his cries, but there was no air of hostility about them.
Fenris's comment about Boryz, when it would regrow, was dead on. However, Zethrox sighed. "Unfortunately, that will be long after my passing that the trees will climb high towards the sky once more," he wistfully spoke. How he longed to see the beauty of Boryz Forest once more, but he knew that this would not be the case. Not without a serious miracle. "These lands were harvested by the humans for lumber, wiped out completely. You will see the occasional stump, but other than that, the expanse is completely barren." His statement was blunt, for there was no other way for it to be said.
"I see the beauty of the sands, but they do not appeal to me the way the trees do. I am not well suited to the desert, and I much enjoy the comfort of the shady trees to the heat of the sun. Perhaps that is just the nature of my kind." His eyes watched the younger wolf, never failing to observe his body language and develop an overall persona of this newcomer.
He felt so numb and cold. It was as if there was a thick and dark fog blocking his vision and cutting him off from the world around him and forcing him into a life of solitude and loneliness. He had tried so hard to not let the darkness envelop him again and had done his best to stay on a lighter path away from anger, self hate and revenge. He had been doing okay for a while and had controlled himself and done some good in his life and in the lives by others by playing a part in bringing all the packs together to stop the Knaves; he was of course aware that some wolves disliked him for allowing Ardemu to 'corrupt' him and had sworn to himself and others that he was no longer that wolf.
But the truth was that he was that wolf and he couldn't be anything different. He was born in the shadows and no matter what he did the shadows would always hold him. Hate and anger was what he was and to try and deny that and become something else was a fools game. His father had raised him to be full of anger and hate and had taught him that these emotions made him strong and powerful and with no one to show him any different he had become the very product that his father had wanted and he was tired of trying to fight his true nature; there was nothing he could do to stop what he was so he had decided that it would be easier for him to just accept his fate and to stop trying to be something he could never be.
The fight with the Knaves had been a bloody one and he had rather enjoyed the fight where he had been able to show his strength; the strength of a wolf born and raised to be an alpha. During that fight he had discovered more of what had happened to his beloved Athabasca and had eventually found the the wolf who had killed her and torn his throat out. Perhaps that had been when the darkness had taken his heart again for at that moment he had felt so much hatred in his heart.... perhaps more so then when he had fought and killed his father. Since that dreadful day he had wondered the lands of Anikira like some lost pup, not knowing where to go or where he would be accepted. His months alone had been tough and he had started to consider returning to his birth lands and taking his rightful place as alpha of his father's pack, but he had fought that thought and continued on; eventually returning to the lands he had once ruled.
He was unsure what Zethrox would think when he saw him; after all he had joined the Knaves as a spy without his alpha's permission and imagined that Zethrox would be quite annoyed at him. But it had done some good and Koli had been able to get information out about the numbers that Ardemu had and their plans before he'd been discovered and had been made to pay for his betrayal. The wounds he had gained had begun to heal but the one that had been given by Ardemu himself was the worst and had left a scar running from his shoulder to his foot and the fur around it had become damaged and there were patches still missing. He hoped though that after a while the fur would grow over the scar and that it would just be another injury to remind him of his darker deeds.
He eventually caught the scent of his alpha and another wolf and the fog around him seemed to clear and he was able to see the two wolves. His ears went back and he slowly approached his alpha and exposed his throat, part of him wishing that Zethrox would be angry enough to kill him and to end his suffering. "Zethrox, your anger at me will be understandable. I have been nothing but a burden to you and the pack." He had completely fallen; he was so full of anger but so fall of self pity and sadness that he no longer knew what he wanted out of life, the only option he saw now was death and he hoped Zethrox would be kind enough to release him from all of this and give him what he so desired.
The striped female had not changed much, she appeared pretty much the same with only some weight loss being noticed to the normal eye. Mentally she had withdrawn into herself even more. While she still wished that she had been the one to take down the stupid bird, she had accepted that Zeth had done the deed. As the call for what remained of the broken pack hit the skies, eyelids flicked open and the view came slowly into focus. When things became clear and the green sky no longer matched the ground, then she got up and headed off. Another year older, well, almost for Zhen. Soon she would be six years old and the only thing she had for family was the screwed up pack which seemed to have more oddballs in one place then she thought possible without major fighting breaking out.
Of course fighting had broken out with her and Krever before, but that was past, it was time to move on. Muscles stretched and groaned as her short body came out from under the cover of the bushes. Since she was in no big hurry, the female took her time, stopping for a brief lap of water, looking at her coat and just sighing. She didn't belong in this pack, she was a misfit anywhere she would go with her striped back, the short and long build with no long fur to warm her in winter, and the rounded ears. Wolf wantabe, that is all I am...
Her face closed away the emotions wanting to remain exposed and picked up a nice jog towards the general area where she had heard the call. Soon her nose would be able to point her in the correct direction so she wouldn't be wandering for a long time. It would of been easier if she had just paid a little more attention, but right now she was off. Within a short period of time the scent of the alpha hit her smack in the face and so her course changed to head her in the correct direction.
Koli was just arriving whn she caught the small group in her sights. It looked to just be Zeth, Apollo, and Koli so far gathered. As she got closer though, the tall and lanky one didn't smell of one she knew and her eyes looked him over quickly. Same kind like the other male had been, but this was a different wolf. Lucky brute...I wish I had a look alike... What the black brute was doing caught her full attention however, she pushed her round ears forward to hear what he was saying and just caught the last few words. Burden? How?
Zhen moved closer still before she decided to sit down, keeping distance between her and the odd wolf, noticing that she was of course the shortest one here as well. For now she was going to remain silent, things between Koli and Zeth needed to play out first. Not many members would just go up to the alpha and show they were ready to die like Koli had just done. Small paws shifted slightly as she glanced once more at the other wolf, wondering who he was as well as why he was here...
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin, The waters getting warm so you might as well swim.
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"Change can be the downfall of the greatest, yet it can be the rising of the brightest stars,"
Fenris watched, fascinated, and seating his tall self on the ground with paws placed in front of him like the great Spynx. Indeed, no more thoughts of the old male being, well, old like everyone else was old. No, Zehtrox was old, but he was better old, more then likely. Gone through many things, but surviving it, and learning from it. His mother always said to learn from past mistakes, and this wolf appeared to have had lots, but also wiser for it. People who didn't were fools, and normally were depressed, and just... sad-looking. Not only that, but also due to the fact that they might be the cause of their very own depression was a marvel in and of itself. They could work at turning it off... but they didn't. And they wallowed in it, which was the thing that annoyed Fenris. Well, there was other things, but wolves said they were non-rational. He disagreed, he thought with a furrowed brow. No irritation clouded his face, though, and soon, his face still had a friendly smile, ears tipped forward, and tail twitching every so often. The picture of listening.
"Exodus rules his lands with jaws of steel. I would not cross him, mostly because he is a good friend and a great leader. But yes, he is a strong alpha."
Seeing the Alpha laugh, and then it bringing a twinkle into his eyes once again made Fenris's smile widen as well, and his tail swished over the ground. This was good, because that meant that Zethrox was happy again! And happy was nice... when it was needed, of course. It was at least better then mourning. Mourning meant great cries from wailing wolves. Wolves that had lost everything, and tears streamed down their cheeks, and into their neck fur before splashing to the ground. That was what tore in his heart like a desert hyena slashing into his chest. The pain of seeing a wolf in pain (whether physical or emotional) was painful to himself, which was partially why he had this desire to help. That wasn't going to be used the wrong way, however. How did he know? He just did... in some way...
"With years comes experience, and some of those life lessons you wish you would not have to learn."
Fenris's averted his eyes to the sandy floor; not exactly knowing by expierance, but seeing many wolves of what he spoke of, he knew by watching. It was quite sad, seeing them go through the many trials in life. Indeed, the thought of that type of pain was worse. He couldn't help in that area, though. In order to learn, they needed to complete that path without any helping hand from Fenris himself.
"For you to fully understand my emotions, I would have to tell my life story."
"I'm sure that it would be well worth the wait... but if you don't want to, then it's fine,
" a friendly smile was given, while Fenris waited patiently on the ground. Clearly, the Alpha knew he was of no threat to the pack. Indeed, the thought of attacking and killing made him slightly sick-- but sometimes one must due what one must. The maned wolf was also sure that the story would be well worth the wait, and, seeing as he loved the prospect of learning something that could be a very good (or bad; depending on one's view) story, it meant that he earned something from this as well.
"And I am assuming that you would rather continue wandering than sit around listening to the tales of a strange brute such as myself."
Fenris laughed- politely, and yet respectively- and replied. "If you don't mind me being blunt, I've seen wolves worse then you. You actually seem a heck of a lot...
[/color]" Fenris paused, searching for words, "Better then other wolves. Some of them give into barbaric ideas that frighten myself, but sometimes-- eh.[/color]" Fenris half-smiled, cutting himself off before jabbering on. He could be quite serious, but also quite... weird and plain friendly at others. "Sometimes wolves don't. I'm sure that a tale such as yours would be worth the wait. And besides, no one is waiting for me anyway.[/color]" A shrug turned his shoulders up, and then back down as Fenris's grin returned again.
"There have been much more probing questions, I assure you."
The maned wolf looked relieved, a more relaxed smile on his face. Why that had bothered him before, he did not know. "Well, that's good. Not that there has been- just that I wasn't the one,[/color]" Fenris's silver eyes sparkled as much as his smile grinned. This wolf was one who had seen things, but didn't let them affect him. Then again, maybe he did. Maybe he was putting on an act. Or he could be the very devil himself- Fenris didn't know. Too many 'maybes' and not enough facts.
"Well, Fenris, you have a good head on your shoulders. That will get you far in life."
Fenris was glad that he had impressed the older wolf. "Thank you,[/color]" Fenris replied with a flick of his tail. In truth, he felt awkward in this position. The Alpha could attack him at any moment, and rightly so. However, it seemed rude and uncalled for that he should automatically assume that Zethrox was evil. Many wolves did that, and ended up with very few friends. The idea of having no friends at all in this life sounded repulsive to Fenris. The thought of having no one to confide in grew, and Fenris let loose a oh-so-tiny shiver going down his spine. For the truly heartless, having no friends didn't matter. What mattered was power-- whoever standing in the way would be crushed underfoot.
"Unfortunately, that will be long after my passing that the trees will climb high towards the sky once more."
The wistful sound in the Alpha's voice made the tone clear: that he wanted to see it grow back, but wouldn't be here to see it at full-health once more. However, Fenris couldn't turn back age. No one could. "I'm sorry...[/color]" he replied, shifting his weight from one side to the other. Fenris seemed a little bit out of place with the conversation; in any case, it seemed like there grew to a point that Fenris seemed a tad bit not knowing what to say, and instead simply sat there. He seemed to be unaware of awkward silences-- not even knowing they were there. But, Fenris did indeed, and he always hated them.
"These lands were harvested by the humans for lumber, wiped out completely. You will see the occasional stump, but other than that, the expanse is completely barren."
The annoyance that registered on his face towards the humans only held the leash of the anger that he felt towards them. Kept hidden under his face, of course. "I hope that they don't come back...[/color]" The pure hatred that flickered briefly over his face was entirely towards the humans. The wolf had no want of humans returning, and should they, he would do whatever possible to drive them back out. He didn't trust them. They took things, and gave nothing back, as told by the surroundings around himself and the Alpha's land. But soon, the rage passed, a slight smile playing at the edge of Fenris's lips. He could never be mad at something for very long... even if it was important.
"Zethrox, your anger at me will be understandable. I have been nothing but a burden to you and the pack."
Confusion found its way onto the maned wolf's face. Instead of asking what was this, Fenris instead waited in the background. As he was quite known for. Another wolf soon arrived after this black one-- this one, instead, was very small. Utterly opposite of Fenris himself. "Hello there,[/color]" Fenris replied; friendly look in his face as he nearly always had.
Zethrox did not understand this wolf. Fenris seemed so willing to listen, while others typically shrugged off the past as times gone by. The alpha understood the importance of learning from his mistakes and applying the concepts of these life lessons to avoid making the same mistakes more than once. It was remarkable to see a similar attitude in one so much younger than himself. Such mentality typically set in once it was too late to make a difference.
The brute laughed. "Perhaps that is a story for another day," he offered. He could hear the approach of another wolf; perhaps the pack had finally decided to respond to his call. As if on cue, Koli arrived, looking shameful, to be put lightly. Zethrox was not pleased with what had transpired, but if there was one thing he was not, it was cruel. He knew the value of a second chance; he had given one to Krever, and she had betrayed his trust. But that did not mean that every wolf was the same, and Zeth was not going to let one action rule the rest of Koli's life. "It is alright, Koli. And to say that I have not been a burden on the pack as well would be a lie. Everyone makes mistakes," he stated. Granted, most of my mistakes end up costing lifes, he thought sorrowfully. He was more careful these days, but he knew that everyone slipped up once in a while.
Zeth stared at Koli, surprised at his attitude. Before, Koli had been somewhat cocky. But recently, he had been more reserved. His attitude must have shifted somewhere along the lines, because the Koli that sat here was not the one who Zethrox had taken the pack from a long time ago. "While I will not say that your actions were justified, it all turned out in the end. I am still alive, as are you." He threw a glance at Fenris.
The alpha had not meant for the Maned brute to be dragged into their pack's business. While he had found a friend in this wolf, no one was responsible for these wolves but himself. It was rude of Koli to approach and bring up such business when he was clearly in a conversation with a wolf not of their pack. I will have to talk to him later about this, he noted. Manners were one of Zethrox's top priorities, and a guest on his territory, uninvited or invited alike, was not to have insight into the dealings of his pack. It could potentially put Haishin at risk, and he was not willing to do anything that could put his pack in an uncomfortable situation. They had just managed to escape one, and quite frankly, the brute was not looking for drama for quite some time.
Another wolf approached, and Zethrox nodded in recognition of Zhen's arrival. He was pleased to see that she had hung around. While as a general rule she was somewhat quiet, Zethrox was happy to see Zhen. The alpha's ear flicked impatiently, waiting to see if Koli had anything to say in response to his answer. While he waited, he turned his attention to Fenris.
"This is Koli and Zhen, members of my pack," Zeth introduced the two. It was not his responsibility to do introductions, but Fenris had already been placed in an awkward position. Maybe he could alleviate some of the terse nature of their meeting by lightening the mood. "I was starting to think the earth opened and swallow my pack!" He chuckled a bit. Fenris's mentality about the humans was similar to his own. They had caused nothing but trouble, and if they dared to return, Anikira would be in trouble.
Zethrox nodded. "I hope they will stay away as well. I rather enjoy their absence. Makes wandering these lands safer, at least from that aspect," he mused. Right then, the brute's mind wandered to Legacy. Where had the femme disappeared to now? He almost wondered why he considered her a member of the pack, as she never seemed to do what was thought of as normal or even ethical. But yet he offered her sanctuary, mostly because of the guilt he felt from his own situation with Rixes. He had grown quite affectionate towards the femme, even, with Krever's absence. She made good company, and he was starting to miss her. Other than Legacy, Apollo was the only one who had not made an appearance yet. Hopefully, he would turn up soon, and they would be able to work out some of the situations at hand.
((OOC: Not perfect or even that great. My muse is a little dead.))
He was surprised at how quickly Zethrox forgave him for what had happened; sure Zethrox had done bad things in his own life but surely he wasn't worthy of forgiveness this time? He'd gone against orders, put his life and the lives of others in danger and had been 'missing' for so long... how could Zethrox forgive him for all of that? Lowering his head he stopped exposing his neck and lowered himself to the ground; thinking over what Zethrox had said. It was indeed true that they were alive and he guessed he should probably count his blessings; things could have gone a lot worse and many more lives could have been lost, so perhaps things weren't so bad as he had thought them to be.
But he still felt undeserving for his forgiveness. Perhaps it was Zethrox's own past that made him so willing to forgive others. Koli was not going to judge his alpha on the mistakes he'd made in the past as it wouldn't be fair or right to look down on such a kind hearted soul. But what did this say about him? He had made may bad decisions in his life; always being pulled back into this fog of hatred and anger. He was weak and not worthy of all the things he had sought in life. He had never had the goodness within him that Zethrox had; his anger and hatred at his own life and situation meant that he never really trusted or forgave those around them, and yet Zethrox had suffered just as much as he had... maybe even more and yet he had found a way to let all that go and forgive others for mistakes which would probably have them killed by any other wolves. Just what was his secret?
"Thank you Zethrox... I am not worthy of such kindness." Looking at the newcomer Koli came to realise why Zethrox had thrown a glance at the wolf and his ears went back in shame. He had probably come across quite rudely to the newcomer and that wasn't what this pack needed right now. Koli hadn't seen any other pack members and although Zhen was here he worried that others might not come and he'd hate to think that his foolishness had cost them another member. "Has there been any news from the others? Krever, Apollo... Dewet?" He hoped Dewet would return, the femme had been so good to him and her presence had helped him greatly and he hoped that if she did return that he'd be able to share with her everything that had happened to him and that she might be able to help him out of this fog he once again found himself in.
