Vita ex Nex, Nex ex Vita [I/VII]

[jiminiminy]

It was hot. It was hot and it was dry, and that gave the interesting effect of drying out the plants in Chamoru, filling the air with their freed dust and pollen. Siscarm had no allergies, but the air was thick and noxious to his battered lungs; his breaths were quick and choked with phlegm, and steps were heavy and disoriented. It had been days since he slept, fearful of the memories that had begun to breach into his dreams, reluctant to face what they represented. Thought had largely ceased in his mind, and instinct was the only guiding force as the elder plodded unevenly south.

Behind him and two his left was another wolf, mimicking his motions like a second shadow. Despite their similarities in motion, there was little more in common between the two. Though they shared species, the other wolf was smaller, far younger, and held a pelt comprised almost entirely of a mix of grey, red, and black, interrupted in several placed by a wide verity of scars and cuts, cumulating around the face, which held a plethora of such things. His feet made no sound, and his body never touched the barren grasses, leaving no trail. They were both silent, the only sounds that of the elder's breath and movement, but it was not a tranquil silence, but that of an armistice, or the calm before a storm, and the elder seemed to be trying to flee the pursuer without acknowledging him.

The chase continued for some time, but the elder was increasingly disoriented by the lack of sleep, abundance of pollen, and the unseasonable heat, and after an additional ninety minutes of slow progression Siscarm felt his front paw fall into a gopher hole, jarring the shoulder and sending him into a brief stagger before collapsing on the ground, a small cut opening over his right ear from the blunt trauma generated by the parched ground. At the dull tone of the elder's skull meeting earth his companion's pelt seemed to shimmer with new light, the colours and shades enriching at the appearance of blood. It was now that he spoke, using the usually measured tone of the elder as a mocking front.

"...And as the barriers fell we began our attack anew, for the enemy had stumbled and fallen, leaving their defenses fallow in our wake, and we repaid their kindness through a swift death, ending the ceaseless pain of a life in fear. For what is a life lived if it only exists to serve another's?"

The words were an eerie tone, with the impression that they had been whispered into one's ear like a lover's secret, but held a weighty reluctance about them, like a painful war story told by an elder. Siscarm did not pay any heed to the other wolf, ignoring his words, trying to put him out of his mind as well as possible, but his memories had begun to beat at the closed areas of his mind, calling attention to themselves. Though the other's body faded again, it was not as dull as previous, and his speech suffered no such assault. Indeed, it seemed to have gained more weight to it, taking on a slight vibrating effect. The elder stood once more, plodding forward while taking care not to allow his adversary to cross his plain of vision, who at the moment was happy to stand close to the elder, speaking more directly as they both began to walk further south.

"I know you know the words... They were said by you, no? All those years ago, when you still saw things in the world fit fighting for. Look at you now, a loner without a family, without friends, a wanderer. No, you are the only one left who wanders, truly a more definitive title is fitting? The Wanderer. The exile. Siscarm, a constant reminder of what was lost. Here, do you remember this one? It's a favourite of mine; 'And all the non-believers watched, as the devout few rose up from the ashes of the desolace, their mouths agape as the reborn crusaders weilded the wrath of the gods against all who had forgotten their influence and devine will. And the frightened people complied and worshipped the true gods, and those who denied their greatness were smitten and consumed by the holy fires sent from the sky to purge the land. And though the gods and the people wept to see the earth burning under them, they knew that there were none but themselves responsible.'

"I know you remember this, Exile, Murderer. You were the one who saw it, you were the one who said it. Can't you remember the thrills? The sounds and smells? Your friends and lovers? Don't you remember the fighting, the fanatics? The autrocities? Can't you remember the depression, the suicides? Cant you remember the end?"

Siscarm gradually slowed to a stop over the next hundred meters. The other wolf smiled a toothy grin, one that showed the poor shape that his remaining teeth were in, because he knew that he might not have broken the elder, but he had tripped him up for a moment, and he was not one to ignore a glaring opportunity.

"Remember the feeling of loss? How the good times fell away in the very act of fighting to preserve them? Remember how you forced your friends to leave you, and vice versa? Can you still remember how I was killed?"

The elder was silent, his eyes were closed and his head was low, his body rising and falling with the struggling motions of his diaphragm to provide oxygen through the pollen. A series of images shifted in sequence; wolves he knew, wolves he killed, things he'd said and things he'd done, cumulating with the point at which the wolf presently pestering him had the left half of his skull shattered and blown away by the lead of a human weapon. The elder opened his eyes quickly, as if woken from a bad dream, except that he was not yet rid of his unwelcome companion.

"Do you remember all of that old one? Or is your senility catching up with you? How old are you now it's been-"

[/color]

"Yes."

Siscarm shifted his gaze to the other wolf, who's grin widened as he acknowledged his own personal victory over the elder. His face had a new addition, matching the effect of the prior memory by a rather gruesome wound in his head; the whole left side of his face was distorted or just omitted, the teeth were shattered and missing, his eye was no longer present, and his jaw was only supported on his good side. His snout was torn and bloodied, as was the actual crown of his head, all the damage of which was centered around a bloodied mess where his sinus had been in days long passed. Despite this, the brute was wrapped up in his own personal glory, and seemed to feel no signifigant pain anymore.

"Oh good than you know what's coming to you? You know that you deserve every little bit of pain and suffering that you have been forced to endure, and that sentence is renewed every time you are forced to serve it merely by the act of living? You made the deal Wanderer, you force the conseq-"

"I made no deal! You were the one who spoke through the niavity of youth on the behalf of the future. This is your fault more than it is mine young one, but at least you get the ability to avoid the punishment."

The other wolf simply sat and smiled his shattered smile while Siscarm stared at him through the fog of his various afflictions. Time had passed, a great deal, but neither were cognitive as to how much and to what effect. After a moment further, the elder sighed and turned away, fully acknowledging the vain attempts shifting of the blame and the very purest form of ineffectiveness held within the act. He'd been on the first stage for far too long, and grief was beginning to move along its way. The other wolf just smiled, disregarding the thoughts of his companion in his own autocratic control of the situation. As one gets older they are less likely to change.

"It's funny isn't it."

"Only in the most sadistic sense of the word 'funny'."

"You said it best, all that time ago. Do you remember Siscarm? 'And though the gods and the people wept...'"

"'And though the gods and the people wept to see the earth burning under them, they knew that there were none but themselves responsible.' Yes I remember. I remember more from then and less from now in my old age."

"And look at you using old age, calling me young one. Remember how we're similar Siscarm, and you'll find things a lot easier in the long run."

"And if I remember how we're the same things'll be a lot harder. Right."[/b]

Siscarm turned away from the other wolf, and as he did so the wolf's pelt faded with the lack of recognition, his mangled face overlapped and healed as it fell out of present memory. Though he knew what staying still would mean, the wolf sat smiling, his jaw broken and missing so many teeth as the years passed on. Though he was out of earshot with his failing voice, the words were quick to appear at the forefront of Siscarm's mind.

"...And we repaid their kindness through a swift death, ending the ceaseless pain of a life in fear."[/size][/blockquote]