Post by Toiro on Aug 16, 2010 23:27:09 GMT -5
Toiro stood facing the water. His enemy. The sea was flat, lapping gently at the shore where Toiro was standing.
Was Nikia out there somewhere? Had the river taken her and dumped her into the vast ocean, along with all the humans’ trash? He bared his teeth at the thought of his poor Nikia, lying at the bottom of the ocean, her beautiful white fur stained with mud. His heart ached for her. Why hadn’t he saved her when he’d had the chance?
Because I’m a coward. The pessimistic side of his mind said. The other side of his mind wasn’t quite optimistic, but it was better than the cynic.
I’ve changed. It retorted. I’m not a coward now!
The pessimist laughed sarcastically. Yeah, right.
Toiro shook his head to get rid of the voices. He was going insane with only himself to talk to. What he really wanted was to find a pack that would accept him. He had tried so hard, howled at the edge of so many territories, but they had all driven him away. Was he doomed to be by himself for the rest of his life? A loner forever shunned and avoided? He didn’t want a life like that. He’d rather not have a life at all.
“Oh, Nikia!” Toiro howled at the ocean “Why did you have to leave me, when we were so happy?!”
He collapsed into the sand, whimpering pitifully.
“I can’t live like this” he whispered forlornly to a crab that was scuttling along the beach “I want to be with her again so badly. Do you think she’ll be waiting for me in heaven? Do you think she’s forgiven me?”.
The crab stared at him, then darted away towards the rock pools. Toiro’s heart felt as if it had split in two. “Even crabs hate me!” he announced dejectedly.
He looked out at the calm blue water and suddenly it didn’t look like something to be feared and hated anymore. It looked inviting, nice and deep and cold; it would soothe his burning emotions. It would stop all of the hurt in his life and, more importantly, it would take him to Nikia. His death would be the same as hers, except there’d be no-one to save him. No one to feel guilty, no-one to blame themselves for his death.
Toiro got to his paws shakily. “I love you Nikia!” he cried. And then the waves were around him and he was swimming; swimming clumsily away from the shore and out into the deep blue sea.
Was Nikia out there somewhere? Had the river taken her and dumped her into the vast ocean, along with all the humans’ trash? He bared his teeth at the thought of his poor Nikia, lying at the bottom of the ocean, her beautiful white fur stained with mud. His heart ached for her. Why hadn’t he saved her when he’d had the chance?
Because I’m a coward. The pessimistic side of his mind said. The other side of his mind wasn’t quite optimistic, but it was better than the cynic.
I’ve changed. It retorted. I’m not a coward now!
The pessimist laughed sarcastically. Yeah, right.
Toiro shook his head to get rid of the voices. He was going insane with only himself to talk to. What he really wanted was to find a pack that would accept him. He had tried so hard, howled at the edge of so many territories, but they had all driven him away. Was he doomed to be by himself for the rest of his life? A loner forever shunned and avoided? He didn’t want a life like that. He’d rather not have a life at all.
“Oh, Nikia!” Toiro howled at the ocean “Why did you have to leave me, when we were so happy?!”
He collapsed into the sand, whimpering pitifully.
“I can’t live like this” he whispered forlornly to a crab that was scuttling along the beach “I want to be with her again so badly. Do you think she’ll be waiting for me in heaven? Do you think she’s forgiven me?”.
The crab stared at him, then darted away towards the rock pools. Toiro’s heart felt as if it had split in two. “Even crabs hate me!” he announced dejectedly.
He looked out at the calm blue water and suddenly it didn’t look like something to be feared and hated anymore. It looked inviting, nice and deep and cold; it would soothe his burning emotions. It would stop all of the hurt in his life and, more importantly, it would take him to Nikia. His death would be the same as hers, except there’d be no-one to save him. No one to feel guilty, no-one to blame themselves for his death.
Toiro got to his paws shakily. “I love you Nikia!” he cried. And then the waves were around him and he was swimming; swimming clumsily away from the shore and out into the deep blue sea.