Post by jay on Aug 22, 2011 14:10:29 GMT -5
Without Aldgar, Jay was an empty shell.
It was difficult for the brute to admit, but he had held the pack in such high regards that with its absence, he was simply nothing. He held much hatred, much rage. He needed an outlet for that rage. And yet there was none, and so the feelings continued to stir.
Jay wandered aimlessly, hoping that, somehow, some way, he would find a purpose. And yet the further he walked, the scruffier he grew, the more dirt got caked in his coat, and the less he cared. By the time that he had migrated to the southernmost territory of the continent, the brute was in such horrendous shape that he could hardly be distinguished as a wolf. In fact, he would do nearly anything he could for food. The brute had consumed a mother and four baby rabbits he had discovered buried in the brush; while he was very supportive of life, he could not bring himself to feel any sorrow. They were prey, he was a predator.
Alearia was gone. Xinelil was gone. Meikou was gone. Kadhi was gone. And Siscarm...
The brute harbored horrid feelings toward the old brute. While his sane mind knew that such feelings were unwarranted, Jay was spiteful and furious. That rotting old wolf had destroyed his home and his security blanket. Had the young male been in the right mind and in proper position to take care of a pack, he would have stepped up to the occasion. But Jay knew he would not have been able to provide for a pack. He could hardly provide for his own basic needs right now, so what wolf would blindly follow such an awful leader. His eyes fixated on the road ahead. He could not stop. He would not stopped.
Left, right. Left, right. Left, right.
Jay only focused on his steps and how close they brought him to a destination that was still so far away. There would never be any reprieve, any end to his journey. He would never find what he was searching for. He could not bring back his family. All he could ever do was bring them shame.
And so Jay continued to do the one thing that he knew he would be able to achieve, and that was living. It was the only reason he had not laid down to die. It was the only reason he still awoke in the morning, found whatever food he could, and continued to inhale and exhale. It was only for them, and it was the most he could do not to give up.