Tike had spent the last four or five days in the dens. He hadn't left much at all other than to relieve himself when it was needed. He spent most of his days either sleeping or keeping a watchful eye around the dens. His paranoia had gotten progressively worse as the days went on. His anticipation of his death made him constantly check over his shoulder at every noise made behind him.
He hadn't really eaten much in the last few days either. He ate the snacks that Shayde brought him and then scraps of whatever the pack ate if they remembered to bring any or save any for him. The mixture of grief and anxiety that mixed within Tike's heart made it difficult to eat. He hadn't been so emotional at the site where his brother had been murdered but these last few days really hit it home with Tike that his brother was never coming back to him. When it had first happened, it seemed so surreal but now reality was really setting in. Tike couldn't help but feel as though his brother's death was slightly his fault. He couldn't help but think that because he thought and said such nasty things about him that Fenris decided to give Tike what he had indirectly asked for and fooled himself into thinking that he wanted. Tike realized now that it was wrong, he was wrong. He never really wanted his brother dead, he only wanted others to stop treating him like he was some prodigy child. Tike took a deep breath and sighed lightly as his ever growing frame lay at the entrance of the mines that he had grown to know as home, a safe place.
His head rested on his paws though his body was tense with anxiety and his eyes watched the surroundings like a hawk hunting a mouse. He was ready to jump and defend himself whenever it was necessary. He checked over his shoulder every thirty seconds or so, probably looking like a psychopath or a mentally ill wolf to whomever was watching him. He wished that he could be calm, cool and collected like he usually was but when a wolf is fearing for their life, it was very difficult to not act as Tike was acting now. A part of him wished that he could just die already and have this suffering taken from him. To have this anxiety and paranoia melted from his mind. Death sounded sweet. Like that cow-elk he had eaten with Shayde and his father. Like a cool drink of water after a hot and muggy afternoon. Like the first day of spring after a long winter. But, he didn't believe that anyone in the pack would kill him and suicide was a coward's way out. So, Tike was stuck to live with all of this burden on his soul with no way to release it.
The days had seemed to grow longer than ever. Kallik was gone and it felt like Amyntas’ soul had died along side her. She was just another unlucky femme to have wormed her way into his heart, only to meet the fate of all those beloved to him. If he were a trite smarter, he would have simply walked out of the territory and never returned. Maybe the alpha brute would have tried to stop him, ending his life for trying to leave. That would solve all of Amyn’s problems, now wouldn’t it? But he couldn’t bring himself to even consider doing such a thing. He had joined this pack for Kallik’s sake, and for one reason or another, the alpha brute had accepted him. Leaving now would be an insult, and he knew better than to do such a thing.
Instead, Amyn found himself wandering about restlessly. The alpha brute gave him orders on occasion, but it almost seemed as if he was given a bit of a break. Maybe the alpha brute understood the pain he was going through. Or, in Amyn’s case, it was a lack thereof. He was an emotionless wreck in need of some serious mending. He wanted to be helpful to his pack, to hunt for the alpha, to guard the dens, to assist on patrols. But hunting and guarding duty often fell on the other subordinates, while patrolling was done by the alpha brute and the beta femme. Amyn felt he was simply in the way most of the time, fueling his already helpless feeling.
While the others often brought small kills back to the dens for him and the alpha’s pup to eat, he found it was hardly enough to keep his hunger completely sated. He would go off on his own to catch a quick meal for himself, but would return to the dens almost immediately after. If he managed, he would even add to the pile of kills at the den, in case the pup was as hungry as he felt at times.
And he thought he was damaged.
Amyn knew not what had happened, but a few days prior, the pup had returned to the dens with pure terror in his eyes. After darting in to the dark caves, he hardly ever showed his face. The poor pup’s mother was dead, and according to the beta femme, so was his twin brother. To have that amount of fear in his eyes, Amyn could only guess that the pup had seen his brother’s body. Or, though he preferred not to believe it, the pup had seen the massacre itself. Such a thing for one as young as he to have witnessed tore at Amyn’s heart, but he couldn’t feel true remorse. This pup would only feel the sting of reality worse and worse with each passing day. Perhaps it was better he learn while he was young.
Without given the order, Amyn found himself watching over the pup. It felt to him like old times, watching over Naomi’s litter. This time, however, sleep would not get in the way of him performing his task. No predator would venture so close to the den, even if it meant putting himself in danger. So when he noticed the pup lift his head to glance over his shoulder, Amyn tensed, following the pup’s eyes. His ears pricked, listening intently for whatever it was the pup had seen. But there was nothing but silence in the area. The only scents on the air were those of the wolves near the den. Right. If a predator was foolish enough to wander this close to the dens with this many wolves nearby, it wouldn’t stand a chance.
Amyn relaxed, letting out a breath of a sigh. “There is nothing to fear, pup,” he muttered quietly, as not to startle the pup. He’d seemed jumpy as of late, as if the littlest thing would be the death of him. “You are safe here. I will watch over you.” The words stung as he said them. He felt as if he was asking this pup to grow close to him as others had before him. If he did, maybe those words wouldn’t be so true. Still, they were only words. It were the actions that worried Amyn. He would keep the pup at paws length for now, and only if he grew too close would Amyn warn him otherwise.
words:: Seven-Hundred and Fifty-Six muse:: Pretty good tags::Tike mood:: Distraught ooc::
Tike didn't like to think of himself as being a scared wolf or one that would scare easily. He was sure that it would haunt him for the rest of his life since a few wolves saw him when he was scared. Maybe he was just over-exaggerating but maybe it was true. This pack was tough and Tike did not want to be the weak link. He wanted to help out around here. He wanted to help hunt or do something to be of some benefit. He only wished that his father would give him something to do. Maybe that would help him a little bit. Maybe he would have to find something to do on his own. He had been moping around here for days and he was starting to get sores on his elbows from laying down for so long. But, there was still that feeling that he didn't want to leave the dens. There was still that fear that somewhere there was a wolf waiting to take his life from him.
He felt as though someone was watching him though, he usually felt that way, this was different. This was a little stronger than it had been for the last few days.
Then there was a voice. Ah ha! There was someone watching him! He wasn't as crazy as he thought he was. The fact that the white brute was here meant that there was good reason for him to be on the look-out. Not the best logic but it was enough for Tike. The wolf spoke quietly and didn't spook him surprisingly. He had grown used to the white brute hanging around though that didn't mean that he liked it. The white brute occasionally hunted for himself and then brought a few morsels for Tike which, he appreciated. But as of now, that was the only thing the white brute had going for him. What is my safety to you? Tike's words dripped with poison and he spat them like daggers. Tike's emerald eyes burned with the intensity of the summer sun into the eyes of the white brute before turning his head to look out of the den once again. How dare that white brute offer to protect him. That bastard didn't care for him. He only cared for Kallik and Kallik he could have. Kallik had hurt him too many times for him to deal with her anymore. She wasn't even worth the thought that she held in his mind at that moment. She was nothing. He didn't need her. It had seemed as though she only wanted Taqqiq and Kyra and it also seemed as though she wasn't going to have either of them. Taq was dead and Kyra hadn't shown her face in weeks. He hoped that bitch knew what she was doing and that she was happy with how everything had turned out.
He pushed her out of his head. He needed to think of other things. Tike took a deep breath, filling his lungs to their fullest and then slowly let all the air out to try to clear his mind of all thought. Including the knowledge that the white brute was here.
The arctic brute was hardly surprised when the pup’s tone of voice turned venomous. Amyn could only assume that he had connected his mother’s disappearance with him. And the glaring look the pup gave him. Yes. There was blame and hatred in all that fire. But Amyn couldn’t look into his eyes for long. They reminded him too much of all that he had lost. He turned his head back over the land with a deep sigh, falling into an uneasy silence with the pup. His question was one that sat with Amyn for some time. “What is my safety to you?” Why did he care? Was it because he felt obligated by Kallik’s death? Or was it an unspoken order from the alpha himself? Or was it simply because Amyn felt he could protect the pup? Perhaps it was a mix of all three.
A faint breeze ruffled Amyn’s thick hide, bringing with it the scents of all wolves in the area. Shayde; the red beta femme who cared not for Amyn; Angel; the talkative femme that always found something to say; the alpha brute; who was always everywhere at any given point. And then, of course, the pup’s scent. It was mostly focused around the dens, given that was where he had been holed up for days. Amyn would have liked to see him stretch his legs some, perhaps go on patrol with the beta femme. But if he brought such a thing up, he knew he would only receive a hostile response. And perhaps it would sound as if Amyn wanted him away from the dens. Another deep sigh escaped the arctic brute’s chest. He found it difficult to speak to this pup, as if no matter what he said, it would be taken the wrong way and would harm the pup more than he already was. It was the last thing Amyn wanted to do.
“You don’t like me,” he muttered to the pup. It wasn’t a question, but it also wasn’t a revelation. It was merely a stated point, though he gave a pause in case the pup wished to argue the fact. “If I have harmed you in any way, I wish to apologize now. I suppose I must have said some things to offend you or your parents.” Amyn would have normally flinched saying that, but thinking of Kallik had only made him numb. He cast his golden gaze onto the pup once again, making sure to avoid his eyes. “I truly am sorry. For all that you have had to overcome.” He turned away again, looking far off at nothing in particular. “Trials such as yours shouldn’t have to be endured until you are much older... Fate has not been kind to you, pup.”
words:: Four-Hundred and Seventy-Three muse:: Meh tags::Tike mood:: Numb. Empty. ooc:: I dunno how I feel about this post =/
Last Edit: Oct 27, 2012 10:34:32 GMT -5 by Deleted
A light breeze tickled Tike's face. It held the smells of Shayde, Angel, Vorilye, this new white brute that he didn't know the name of and, himself. The smells in the wind were somewhat comforting. He didn't smell anyone that he didn't recognize so, that meant that maybe there was no one out for his life at that point. Or they were masking their scents. Or maybe on of the Descai wolves were out for him. Maybe this white brute was the cause of the death of his brother and the sudden disappearance of his mother. Taqqiq had died shortly after the white brute and his mother had shown up. Maybe he had gone and gotten Akihra...with Kallik's help...to kill Taqqiq. Had they both plotted the murder of his brother? Was Kallik sick of being a mother and just decided to kill off her offspring? Was Akihra supposed to attack him as well and that Shayde had saved his life? It seemed as though that was the way that the cards were playing out.
The thought was making him grow more uncomfortable with being alone with this white brute. Tike shifted his weight and moved slightly farther away. Like it would actually help him stay alive if he were a few more centimeters away. His brain told him to get up and leave but then, this white brute could follow him and kill him in the forest and have no one find any trace of his body. At least if he was killed here then the smell of his blood would be everywhere and evidence of his murder would be found quickly.
The white brute spoke. “You don’t like me.” Of course Tike didn't like him. Was that surprising to this brute? Why on this green earth would Tike like the wolf that had planned his brother's murder and then probably hid his mother with plans of running away together? If this brute thought that Tike would like him after all of that, he was one sick wolf. Though his voice also didn't sound like he was expecting Tike to like him. It was merely a stated fact. A true fact that Tike wasn't going to argue. The brute continued. “If I have harmed you in any way, I wish to apologize now. I suppose I must have said some things to offend you or your parents.” Tike thought about those words for a few moments. What exactly had this white brute actually done to him that he was sure about? Tike had his suspicions about his role in the murder of Taqqiq because of the ever so convenient timing but Tike wasn't going to give that away without having some more evidence. If he just ran around and accused other wolves of accessory to murder then his word would lose it's value. Tike had to stick with what he knew for sure. He knew that this brute had taken a liking to his mother who had disappeared. He knew that his brother had been murdered shortly after this brute entered into this pack. That was probably cause in and of itself, was it not? He would have to bring that before his father.
You have not brought any new harm. You have only stirred the pot of what was already there. Tike's words spoke the truth, for the most part. His tone didn't hold the same venom as it had before because now he knew that they were playing games. Tike didn't want to say anything to this white brute that would give him ample motive for killing him. He didn't want to say anything that would hint at what he knew about the murder and disappearance of his brother and his mother. He was pretty certain that this white brute was playing mind games with him. Two could play mind games though. This brute was playing it like he was truly sorry for what had happened. The sincerity in his voice was almost believable. Tike had to admit that it was impressive.
Tike. You can call me Tike. The black and gold brute said after he heard the white male call him "pup" for the second time. He was almost fully grown and gaining size what seemed like every day. Being called "pup" was degrading. If he had held some kind of rank, he would do as his father and Shayde had done by telling this brute to call him by that rank but since he didn't have anything like that, the next best thing would be his actual name.
He didn't know how to respond to the white brute's apology. He wasn't used to having anyone feel sorry for him. But then he remembered that he probably wasn't really sorry for him and that he was still playing this game. Though his words did make sense and he did understand them. He knew that fate hasn't been kind. Fate hadn't been kind to him since the day he was born. If it were it wouldn't have given him a brother that everyone had compared him to and a runt sister that everyone coddled. But those were just the cards he had gotten dealt and it was up to him to make the best of it. At least now he won't be compared to his brother much anymore.
Amyn hardly expected the pup to say anything in response to his stated fact. It was quite obvious he wasn’t liked by the alpha’s sole living child. But if he had said something, perhaps the heavy feeling on the arctic brute’s chest would have dissipated. He didn’t like feeling as if the pup blamed him for the death of his family. Amyn still wasn’t sure if the pup knew of Kallik’s death, but it had all gone downhill since he stepped foot in the territory. Perhaps the first encounter with Kallik was what sealed her doom. And, by extension, her son’s as well. Amyn glanced at the pup. Would he be next? Could he sense his end looming over his shoulder?
A low whine slipped from Amyn’s maw, and he rose to his feet. What was he still doing in Acerbus? He’d lingered to respect Kallik’s memory, something he wasn’t sure if he should have done in the first place. He had only known the femme for a short time. What memory was there to respect? Amyn glanced back at the pup. Perhaps he was the reason he was still around. To protect the pup from the horrors of the real world. It wasn’t until that moment that Amyn realized the pup was speaking. Stirred the pot? What did he mean by that? Was he trying to say that he was blaming Amyn for the recent events, as the arctic brute had believed?
He needed to get out of here. Now.
Amyn took a few steps from the mines, only to stop short when the pup gave his name. Tike. Yes, that sounded like a name Kallik would give to her son. The brute shook his head. He had no right to think like that. He didn’t know Kallik. He only knew the broken shell of her existence. “I am Amyntas, Tike,” Amyn said, more out of courtesy than because he wanted the pup to know his name. He took a few more steps away, turning back to look the pup in the eyes. “Your father will be very angry with me, Tike. But please let him know that I mean no disrespect.” He knew the pup would likely have no idea what he was talking about, but he didn’t remain to explain it.
Turning back to the north, Amyn started forward, slowly at first. After a few steps, he picked up the pace to a trot. Before long, he was loping across the territory, never once looking back. He couldn’t remain here. The beta hated him. The alpha’s son blamed him for his family’s death. Staying here would only cause him pain, and he was no masochist. He needed to find a new place to live, preferably alone. Amyn was not suited for pack life. No. He was not capable of pack life. He was a curse, a disease. The longer he remained near other wolves, the more pain he caused them and himself. No. It would be better if he just wandered the land for the rest of his days.
words:: Five-Hundred and Twenty-Nine muse:: Ugh... tags::Tike mood:: Freaked out ooc:: Okay, so this post is really abrupt. But I decided to send Amy to Airila. So I guess Tike's nonverbal accusations are his wake up call XD
