fall between the cracks (open!)

[Deleted]

ooc: It's rambly, and rather boring, but I'm still getting used to his character. :3

The grass was cool beneath his furred paws. His pink tongue lolled out of his mouth as he panted in the shade, the canopy of leaves above his head dappling his reddish coat with variegating patches of light and dark. He lay on his belly, his hind legs tucked neatly beside him, fringed by the thick brush of his tail. His head turned this way and that as he lazily observed his surroundings, relishing the feel of a full belly. Alyan had managed to catch a squirrel earlier, and was quite proud of the feat. Squirrels were notoriously hard to hunt, being quite cautious rodents that rarely ventured far from their trees. At the slightest sign of danger, they would dash out of reach, leaving the frustrated hunter to watch them mournfully from the base of the tree. But the one Alyan caught had lingered too long before attempting to get away, and his teeth had closed on its small body before it knew what was happening. Now he licked a paw and attempted to clean some of the blood from his muzzle, running his tongue along his chops. Later perhaps, boredom would hit and he would grow restless, but for the moment, he was content. It was a lonely life he led, alone in the world with no one to watch his back, but he got along fine. It was not natural for a wolf to choose this path, the existence of a loner, but it was all he knew. His mother had been a pack member. But she'd been driven out to protect him, because he shouldn't have existed in the first place, being the result of an unauthorized pairing. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to join a family of wolves, but in some ways, he was afraid of what would happen. He knew so little about his own kind. The only time he'd truly felt companionship with another wolf was when he'd had Sadron as his friend, but that didn't last long. What would Sadron want him to do? What would he say to Alyan today? The red wolf often thought about his childhood buddy, as though keeping him alive in his thoughts would bring some shadow of the dead youngster back. Alyan had no other friends, and wasn't sure how to go about making any. It wasn't a concern of his, but sometimes he did wonder at the wisdom of a life spent entirely alone, with no one else to talk to or hunt with.

He let out his breath in a slow sigh and pulled himself to his feet, pushing his paws forward as he languorously stretched. He disliked the taste of stale blood in his mouth, and was truly beginning to feel thirsty, so he padded slowly over the grass in search of water. His reddish coat was thin compared to some of the hardier Northern breeds, but it meant that he didn't overheat in such hot days as this here in I'queyer. The wolf traversed the grassy plain in an easy trot, his large ears alert to his surroundings, tongue hanging as he panted the heat from his body. It was a fine, warm day in this territory, even despite the dark grey clouds that loomed in the distance. There was likely to be a storm later, but Alyan didn't worry - he was sure to have found cover long before it hit. I'queyer had been plagued by quite a bit of rainfall these past few days, and today had turned out sunny, but it didn't appear that the weather would be fair for much longer. At least he'd managed a hunt earlier. His prey disliked wet conditions as much as he did, and he was glad that he'd taken care of his hunger before the storm began. It probably wouldn't be here for a couple of hours though, so there was still plenty of time to enjoy the sun. He accelerated into a lope, his skin sliding smoothly over bone, muscles relaxing and contracting in perfect rhythm. Alyan was naturally enduring; it came with being a wolf. He was, however, unusually tireless thanks to his lonely lifestyle, having only himself to look after. Long hours of steady movement pulled excess fat from his frame, it built up his heart strength and increased the efficiency of his breathing. He spent much of his time on the move, going this way or that for new game, never staying in one place for too long. I'queyer was such a large land that it didn't matter that he never stepped beyond its boundaries; why should he, when he had everything he needed here? There were times when he felt curious about the rest of Anikira, and wondered what it would be like to meet new wolves, but he always shied away from these dangerous musings. He would never admit it, but he was afraid. It was safer to be on your own. If he grew attached to anyone, what if another accident happened and they died? He couldn't take the horror of losing another friend.

The sun was teasing the edge of the horizon when Alyan arrived at the stream. Shooting a quick glance around, he lowered his head and lapped at the water. He wet one forepaw and rubbed his muzzle with it until he could no longer taste or smell the blood of his most recent kill. If he didn't keep himself clean and tidy, he would have a harder time sneaking up on prey. Absentmindedly he laid down and began to lick his paws, but froze when he heard a suspicious noise. His ears came up, his body was still, and he relied on his senses of smell and hearing to gather information. Someone was nearby, and it smelled like another wolf. Slowly, Alyan returned his paw to the earth and rose to his feet, the hair on his ruff prickling. His stance was defensive, but he was not at all inclined to attack; more likely he would flee if danger presented itself.

[Deleted]

A small skinny she wolf limped across the grassland, steadily moving forwards without any particular destination in mind. She didn’t really know what she was doing here – maybe she could gather some Ika Pija? Although there wasn’t much use of it now that the only pup in the pack had vanished… Vixen growled. She didn’t want to think about Ryala; not now, not ever. She didn't want to go back there; she was afraid of seeing the demise of her third pack.

Aries had gone AWOL and no trace of her could be found anywhere. At least Vixen had found a trace of Kyra’s scent (which had weirdly seemed to lead towards the Descai border), but Aries had just vanished into thin air. There had been no sign of her for weeks. Well, wherever she was, she wasn’t coming back.

It was turning into another case of déjà vu here. The beta falls in love with the alphess, they form a pack together, the alphess goes missing, the beta is too depressed to take control, Vixen leaves, the pack disbands. Yes, she was a curse. Every wolf she laid eyes upon was doomed and every pack she was in would fall. Haishin, Isata, and now Ryala. Perhaps she should go to Descai next – she had heard the pack was getting a bit too large… Vixen let out a half-hearted laugh.

Hm... Maybe she could become a loner – it was a real possibility now that her alphess was gone and Ryala was on the verge of disbanding. She let the idea play around in her head for a while, seriously considering it. She would have the freedom to do whatever she wanted, and wouldn’t have to take orders from anyone. She could wander the continent and go wherever she pleased. Most importantly though, she wouldn’t have to be close to anyone, and wouldn’t have to go through that heartbreak ever again.

She had lost so many of her friends and family that she didn’t think she could bear to lose anyone else. Now the memories swirled in her mind; her life really had been a nightmare. During her time here on Anikira she’d lost first her mother, Revan, and her siblings, Kale, Echo, and Cymry to a hungry bear trespassing in Kamari. She’d managed to escape to the loner lands, but had never seen any of her old Haishin packmates since – Zethrox, Zhen, Mori, Apollo, Koli, Akihra – all likely dead by now.

The Isata pack had been the start of a new life, full of promising opportunities. Alphess Sapphire had been kind and fair, and Shaman Akitla had introduced the young pup to the art of healing. Jay, Alearia, and Dihren too had been good packmates, always willing to lend a helping paw. And then the pack had disbanded, their alphess missing and the beta who’d loved her too distressed for leadership. Vixen had run once again, this time to the other side of the continent, where she’d stumbled upon the newly forming Ryala. Ryala too had held great promises, led by a blind alphess who was determined to prove that disabled wolves were just as good as normal wolves and could achieve great things in the world.

What a load of nonsense! Vixen should have known better than to believe that rubbish. Of course a blind wolf couldn’t lead a pack; how foolish of her to entertain such a ridiculous idea. Handicapped wolves were just that: handicapped, and it was silly to even dream of amounting to anything. The truth was that her limp would forever hold her back – she could never become a successful warrior or hunter even if she tried.

She was a coward too.

She always ran when things turned to custard, rather than trying to fix her problems. Vixen stopped suddenly with a huff and paused to think about what she was actually doing. Maybe she was leaving too early. After all, Ryala hadn’t completely gone. If Rasalas stepped up as alpha, and she and Scout both stayed that was at least three wolves, right? And three wolves were better than nothing. To tell the truth, she was already missing the company of her packmates, and even though she hadn’t really gotten to know them yet she knew they had good hearts and they’d been kind to her. And even if she did return home to an empty territory, she’d at least tried, instead of simply running away like a gutless deserter. Hm… Perhaps she would return to the Occasus after all – if she could find her way back, that was.

She’d been so zoned out on her little walk that she hadn’t been paying much attention to her surroundings. Now… where was she…? If only she could get her bearings she could begin to find her way home, but the open grassland stretching out in all directions gave her no landmarks, and she couldn’t even see the volcano from here. The terrain was unfamiliar; she’d never been this far south before, and although the land wasn’t too dissimilar to what she’d been used to in Tiayr it was a free land and she didn’t know what dangers could be lurking here.

The weather was also a problem. The runt peered up at the gathering clouds, trying to judge how far away the storm was. She would need to find shelter sooner or later, and that might prove to be difficult. Stupid Vixen, what did you go and get yourself lost for? She cursed herself mentally. You can’t find shelter, can’t hunt, can’t fight. You wouldn’t survive out here for more than a fortnight.

It was only then that the strange scent caught her attention. A wolf? Out here in the middle of nowhere? Vixen was curious. She hadn’t actually met a lone wolf before and she had always wondered what they were really like. The red tundra cross decided to follow the trail – just to take a quick look.

After a short while, she came upon a male red wolf standing near a small stream. He didn’t look to be much older than her, but he was larger (which of course was to be expected given that she was a runt). She might have been afraid of him were it not for his slightly defensive stance, but as it was she didn’t think he was likely to attack her.

“Hello?” She figured that was a good enough start. Despite being a pack wolf for her entire life, social skills weren’t her strong point and the young she wolf often had trouble with conversations, always worried that something she said might sound stupid. Well, at least her shy greeting would show that she wasn’t threatening, although she doubted that anyone could think of her as dangerous anyway, considering her size and injured hind leg.

Vixen’s gaze darted towards the stream for a second. The water was making her thirsty, and even though she knew there would be plenty of it falling from the sky later in the day, she hadn’t had a drink in a while. So, building up courage, she took a few small steps forward, cautiously watching the stranger with her metallic silver eyes. “Do you mind if I take a drink?”





((OOC: O.O I think this is one of the longest I've done))

[Deleted]

Alyan's nose twitched, warily taking in the scent of this new stranger. His ears were perked forward and listening, and his lean body was poised for action, stiff with indecision. It had been so long since he'd last spoken to another wolf, the idea of meeting one filled him with sudden panic. A maelstrom of conflicting thoughts rushed through his head, and he shifted his weight nervously backwards as the urge to flee began to grow stronger. But what would running away accomplish? He'd be alone again, with shameful regret to accompany him this time. His life wasn't really that exciting at the moment; a diversion from monotony would be nice. Why not meet this new wolf? He couldn't run from his own kind forever, and he had to work on his socializing skills somehow. Steeling himself, Alyan held himself steady as the female approached, allowing the prickling ridge along his back to flatten back down. He couldn't stop his eyes from narrowing as he watched her suspiciously, questioning each move she made. Why was she coming towards him? What did she want? There was no question that it was him she was approaching; the purpose in her stride made that clear. And surely she must have noticed his less-than-friendly reception by now, but she didn't seem fazed. She too was quite cautious, but she didn't move too quickly and her body language made it obvious that she wasn't looking for confrontation. There was something irregular about her gait; a jarring hitch in her stride. She seemed to be favoring a hind leg, and her limp was practiced enough to convince Alyan that she must have been injured for a long time. Despite his suspicion of her, he felt a small flare of sympathy - what would he do if he couldn't run freely? Could she hunt with that leg? She was quite thin, and not just because she was built that way to begin with. Without being aware of it, his expression gentled, becoming less fierce as the female came to a stop a couple of feet away, with safe distance between them. She looked at him, and he looked back, curiosity ebbing his earlier suspicions away. "Hello?" she ventured neutrally, clearly attempting to be polite. Alyan was silent, and he watched her flick her eyes to the stream. "Do you mind if I take a drink?"

Oh!

The russet wolf glanced at the stream for a moment, and then back at the other wolf, feeling slightly embarrassed. He owned nothing here and she was asking him if she could drink? It came to him that she was again being polite, quite so actually, and he was being rude by first intimidating her and and then ignoring her. He inclined his head and moved aside. "Of course not." A companionable silence ensued as he obligingly allowed her time to drink her fill. He tried to focus on other things in the vicinity, but he couldn't seem to stop his gaze from drifting back to her, only to snap away hurriedly in case she looked up and saw him. He didn't want to appear like some creepy pervert, but he hadn't seen another wolf in at least a year, and she was very hard to ignore. Determinedly he set his eyes on some rocks upriver, and when she was finished drinking, he glanced at her again. He was surprised to discover that his earlier panic had vanished; he'd been craving company all this time and hadn't even realized it. Even though he was still somewhat wrong-footed and had no idea how to proceed, he didn't want to part ways with her just yet. "I'm Alyan," he managed to say, thinking that offering her his name couldn't possibly hurt. "It's been a long time since I've spoken to another wolf," he added apologetically. Perhaps she could forgive his manners if she understood that he was rusty in most areas of socialization.

ooc: Awesome post! Sorry mine's short, it'll get better with time.

[Deleted]

She watched the stranger cautiously, wondering why he hadn’t replied to her hello. Had she misjudged this wolf? Was he really friendly, or had she stumbled across one of those aggressive outlaws she’d heard stories about? She was painfully aware that her fighting skills were minimal at best, as no one had ever bothered to teach the wolf with the broken leg, and it would be easy to take advantage of her here with no one else around to help. Her pack was a long way away and she wouldn’t even know which direction to run in if he did attack.

But then he moved aside for her, to give her space to drink, and affirmed that he didn’t mind. Vixen dipped her head in thanks and limped down towards the stream. The small she wolf lapped up the cool water, grateful for the hydration. It had been a long time since she’d had a drink and she hadn’t realised how much she’d needed one until now. She tried to keep her eyes focused on the stream but they occasionally flicked up towards the stranger. Luckily, whenever that happened, he was gazing off into the distance, so she was spared the guilt of having him see her looking. She was grateful for his consideration, and in fact found it quite chivalrous. If only all wolves were as polite as he, then the world would be a much better place.

Finally, once her thirst was quenched, she stepped away, but hesitated on the edge of the stream. The gatherer found herself wanting to stay for a while – of course, she knew she should be getting back to Ryala, but a few minutes weren’t going to make much of a difference. Besides, she still didn’t know the way, and this wolf might be able to help her out. He seemed to be interested in conversation too, and offered her his name.

“Hello Alyan” She spoke somewhat nervously, but was determined to make an effort and not shy away from conversation like she normally did. “You can call me Vixen.”
She took a seat a short distance from the stream, figuring that she might as well be comfortable. Anyway, she was pretty sure that he wasn’t going to attack her now, as if that had been his intent he should have done so while her back was turned to him.

When he explained that he hadn’t had someone to talk to in a while, the fox-like she wolf looked down at her paws, focusing silver eyes on her white socks rather than the wolf in front of her. “That’s okay. I understand.” She was actually feeling a bit guilty for her earlier thoughts about him now, even though she knew he couldn't read her mind. She herself wasn’t the most socially advanced wolf on Anikira, so she always expected others to be better than her. And they usually were - maybe because all the wolves she’d encountered were pack wolves.

It must be very odd to be a lone wolf, with no one at all to keep you company. Vixen relied on others to look after her and tell her what to do, and she truly didn’t know if she would be able to survive a long period of time by herself. She realised then that she didn’t actually understand what it was like, which made her previous statement not entirely truthful. In an effort to fix that, she spoke up again.
“Well, actually, I’m a pack wolf… so I’ve never really been alone in my life.” That was excluding the time she’d spent between packs, of course, but the first time didn’t count because she’d nearly starved and the second time had only been for a few days at most. “But, I mean, well, I understand about the talking thing.” She was slightly flustered now, confused by her own words. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realised how silly she must sound. And he hadn’t even said anything about social problems! She might have just been reading into what he’d said too much (which was likely, because it happened all the time) and now she’d gone and made a fool of herself.



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He felt clumsy at this, but he was glad he was trying. His earlier instinct to flee had been born of fear, but it would have done him no favors today. He would have regretted his actions later, and wondered what would have become of the opportunity he'd thrown away. It was easy to fool yourself into believing that you didn't need others to make you happy, and Alyan was good at lying to himself. The violent death of his friend had affected the red wolf deeply, making him insecure and afraid to allow others to befriend him. Guilt and grief lay intermingled within the fragments of his memory of that fateful day; he blamed himself for what happened, and believed that if he'd been able to persuade Sadron to choose smaller prey, his friend would not have been in danger. Isn't how friendship works? Aren't you supposed to have each others' backs? He had failed his friend, and therefore did not deserve to have another. There was no one around to tell him that he was wrong to think that way, so the blame and guilt festered in his mind. But he was lonely, more lonely than he knew. Repeated exposure to stimuli can inure you to the sensation of it, until you no longer notice it anymore. It's the same with feelings. After Sadron died, he had no companions, and at first the pain of being alone had been agonizing. But he adapted, and eventually his mind accepted the loneliness as part of his daily life. Only now that he was actually speaking with another wolf did he realise how much he'd been craving company, how necessary it was for his mental wellbeing. Wolves are social creatures, and though Alyan had his own ideas about living in a pack, he couldn't suppress the primal desire within him to have the comfort of speaking to another creature, even if it was only a short exchange by the stream. He was only two years old. He was a child in many ways, and had experienced little of his own kind. All he knew about the lives of "normal" wolves had been secondhand information from his mother, who in the end still was willing to leave him to join a pack on her own. This too had caused him pain, though he hadn't noticed it so much because it was overshadowed by the depth of earlier loss. Some might look at his life and think he was overreacting, that he should move on and put it behind him, but he couldn't. There is a reason that most hermits have a tendency to go insane: we all depend so much on the opinions and behavior of others to help guide us through life. When that dependency is no longer there, and all we have is ourselves to rely on, our thoughts tend to decay. Alyan was young, he had suffered, but he was still quite sane. A few years of isolation won't hurt him, but no one can live alone their entire lives and not experience some form of insanity. Minds are designed to be able to listen to themselves for only so long.

Alyan was relieved to hear that giving his name had been the right thing to do. The other wolf returned his greeting, and he learned that her name was Vixen. It seemed apt considering how much she resembled a fox, but Alyan thought her rather pretty all the same. There was an honesty to her that made him feel a little bit better about his lack of social skills, and he wondered if she didn't quite know exactly what she was doing either. "That's okay. I understand." Vixen had seated herself comfortably and didn't seem to want to go anywhere in a hurry, so he took courage from that. He settled himself to the ground too, his dark eyes intent on her face as she avoided his gaze, focusing hers on her neat white paws. It was so interesting to see another wolf! He'd only known two in his lifetime, and though Vixen's coat was a similar base color to his, her body and features were quite different. There was a picture in his head of what wolves should look like based only on those two that he'd known, but after meeting Vixen, he had to reassess his earlier assumptions. "Well actually, I'm a pack wolf … so I've never really been alone in my life." His large ears swiveled forward to catch her words, eager to learn more about her. She was a pack wolf? Interesting! So what was she doing out here on her own? "But I mean, well, I understand about the talking thing." Alyan nodded to acknowledge what she'd said, noting with curiosity the subtle change that came over her features, as though she'd lost faith in what she'd spoken. He decided to ignore it, not wanting to comment on something he didn't understand. "Thank you," the red wolf responded. "I do appreciate that." A pause, then, as he cast about for something else to say, some question he could ask her to keep the conversation going. "I didn't know there were packs around here. Where is yours?"

He glanced around as he asked this of her, as if the knowledge itself could suddenly make him see wolves where there'd been none before. But his visual sweep of the plains met with nothing; only the flowing grasses and the dark sky overhead, which was steadily growing more ominous. It wouldn't be long now before the rain began to fall, but he was happy to risk getting himself wet if it meant continuing to talk to this fascinating other wolf.

[Deleted]

Alyan didn’t seem to be offended by her comment, so she might not have actually made a mistake. He might really be another wolf who avoided social situations, just like her. It was strange, but that thought relaxed her a bit. She wasn’t at a disadvantage here, and even her twisted leg couldn’t ruin their conversation. Vixen smiled, and realised as she did so that she hadn’t genuinely done that in a long time. She was glad that she’d met Alyan, and that was saying something for the judgemental she wolf.

He then commented that he hadn’t noticed any packs, and looked around as if to check, and she felt herself blush again. “There aren’t any. Well, at least, I haven’t heard of a pack here in I’queyer. Mine lives in the desert. The Occasus; perhaps you’ve heard of it? But it is a long way from here so actually you might not have...”

She was in fact rather interested in his lifestyle, whether he’d done a lot of travelling or just stuck to a particular area. Then there was the question of whether he’d ever belonged to a pack. Previously, Vixen had assumed that all wolves were born into packs, but now she wondered if that was really the case. Maybe she would ask him. Not yet, though – she was aware that she hadn’t yet answered his unspoken question. Why was she so far from home?

Vixen looked back down at her paws again, feeling that she ought to explain, but wondering whether she was brave enough. “I, uh… I ran away. I just-” She didn’t really know why she had done it, now that she thought about it, so how could she possibly describe it to Alyan? But the desire to talk to someone about it was too powerful to quell.

“You see, my birth pack was disbanded, and the new pack I joined – Isata – lasted for quite a while, but it eventually went the same way. I lost some good packmates, and now I don’t even know whether any of them are still alive…”
Vixen was now staring at the stream, focused on the current, almost as if she was talking to it rather than the wolf in front of her. She didn’t want to look at him, for fear that he had a bored expression on his face. It must be rather strange for him, to have a wolf spill their life story at such a simple question, and she didn’t know how she would react if she was in his situation. But at least the stream would be listening to her, and it couldn’t laugh at her or tell her she was rambling.

The runt coughed, clearing her throat; her voice wasn’t used to this much speaking. “So then I joined another pack, called Ryala. That’s the one I’m in now. It’s a good pack – the wolves there were kind-hearted. But about a fortnight ago, our alphess disappeared. The beta… I don’t know whether he’s going to take charge – I haven’t seen him for a while. And the only other wolf who I think might stay is Scout. The pack’s on the verge of disbanding, and I just… I just couldn’t stand seeing that happen again.”

Finally she turned back to the red wolf, silver eyes searching out amber. “But I see now, that I must go back. I don’t want to spend my whole life running away because I’m too scared to take risks.” While she didn’t quite agree with the proverb that it was better to try and fail than to never try, some chances needed to be taken in life or a wolf would never get anywhere.

The red arctic cross did feel a little better now, as if a burden had been lifted off her chest, and she was confident that her decision to return was the right one. Her duty was to her pack; she would go back and help whoever was left to rebuild it – even if most of them were gone there must be other wolves around in need of a safe haven. Wolves like Alyan, perhaps. She had been wondering why he wasn’t in a pack already; he seemed like a nice guy and he must have at least a decent hunting ability to be able to survive on his own, so it wasn’t as though every pack would reject him. At least she was sure that the Ryala pack could give him a home if he wanted one.

“I’m afraid that I don’t know the way, though. I wasn’t paying much attention on my way here… Anyway, it doesn’t look as though I could make it back before this storm.”
Vixen glanced up at the darkening sky to make her point, which was by now nearly completely overcast. The clouds looked as though they were on the verge of breaking, and the pair would need to find shelter soon if they didn’t want to get drenched. That was assuming the red brute would want to stay with her, of course, although they had both seemed to enjoy each others company so she personally saw no reason for them to part just yet.

“D’you know any good shelters around here?”



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A stiff wind was beginning to pick up, and Alyan shifted his tri-colored tail so that it curled warmly against his body. The sun had almost entirely disappeared behind a thick blanket of grey during their brief conversation, and Alyan glanced up at the sky and was shocked to see that stormy weather was almost upon them. He shivered, disliking the sudden drop in temperature. His body wasn't built to handle colder temperatures extremely well; he could tolerate them up to a certain point, but his preference would always be for the sun's warmth. Vixen was likely to be the same way, lacking the very thick coat and rugged musculature that was necessary for survival in the cold. Alyan's eyes lowered from the sky just in time to witness Vixen's smile, and it seemed to him that he'd never seen anything lovelier. He felt his own mouth curve in response, and without consciously meaning to do so, he was grinning right back. After asking her a question about her pack, Vixen sobered, and seemed a little bit embarrassed again. Alyan was anxious - did he do something wrong or say something inappropriate? Before he could awkwardly backtrack, she answered his question, and confirmed that no, there weren't any packs in I'queyer. Alyan felt strangely relieved; his mother had always told him that this place was safe for lone wolves. He disliked the idea of a random pack arriving here and claiming the territory that he'd lived in for the majority of his life. What right would they have to kick him out just because they were in a group and he was alone?

He'd never been anywhere outside of I'queyer. Not unless you counted the two weeks he spent in his birth territory, but that was before he and his mother were driven out. The name of the place that Vixen mentioned - Occasus? - was unfamiliar to him. If it was a desert, he may have a vague idea of where it was, but he'd always looked out at it from behind the boundary lines of I'queyer. He didn't consider himself to be a particularly brave wolf, and there never had been any reason for him to leave this unclaimable land, not when it had everything he needed here. If Vixen thought he had interesting stories to tell of life as a loner, she was wrong. Alyan had no tales to be proud of, no noble reasons to set himself apart from others. In the strange gamble of life, this was the card he had drawn, and he lived each day the best way he knew how.

Vixen looked hesitant as she searched for a way to answer Alyan's query about her pack. She glanced down again at her paws, and Alyan realized that he was probably making her uncomfortable, intent as he was on her. The russet wolf allowed his eyes to drift away and his head listed towards the right, though he kept his ears pricked alertly in her direction. He listened to her speak, feeling compassion stir within his chest at the sadness of her tale. There was a new feeling too - shame. From the sounds of it, Vixen had lost countless loved ones, yet she still had the courage to keep trying and hope for a better place. Alyan had one friend, and when that friend died, he fell apart and refused to allow anyone to ever be close to him again. Was his reaction better than Vixen's? After all, it's stupid to keep attempting something if all it does is hurt you. But Vixen didn't seem to be unintelligent; in fact, he thought she was one of the nicest, smartest wolves he'd ever met. Maybe he was the one that was missing out on something. But what was the point of making friends if all they ever did was disappear, leaving you devastated? Why join a pack if you know that it will eventually fall apart? Three packs, Vixen had known. Three! All of them had fallen into hard times, leaving her lost and uncertain. He could almost pity her, but he knew that she didn't tell him her story because she wanted pity. Alyan realized that she had shown great trust by admitting her tale, and the emotions on her face made it clear that it had been difficult for her.

He was watching her again. Somewhere around the halfway point in her story, he had forgotten his manners, and his eyes had drifted back onto her face. So she had to go back? Of course. It made sense. Ryala had not disbanded yet, not officially, and she had friends in that pack that she didn't want to leave. It was interesting what she said, about not wanting to spend her life running away and not taking risks. Wasn't joining a pack a risk? Considering her history, she had more right than anyone to mistrust others. But then he remembered her gimpy leg, and mused that she probably would have a hard time on her own anyway. For her at least, she needed a pack to survive. There was more to it, though. He was sure that she wanted to keep trying. What was it about packs that he was missing out on? What drove her to keep seeking a family, even if they would only last a short time?

Her silvery eyes looked into his, and this time he was the one to drop his gaze. He was confused, and upset, yet filled with compassion and indignation on her behalf. That life should treat her this way ... it wasn't right. She didn't deserve this. Her reaction to the hardships of losing a friend was completely different to his, and he didn't know how to respond to it. Maybe it wasn't about being better or worse. Either way, Alyan yearned for something. Was it a desire for something new? Vixen was leaving, and he would probably never see her again. He swore that he would never allow himself to grow close to someone again, but he hadn't counted on the loneliness deep in his heart, a loneliness that latches on to anything that can ameliorate it. There was a lot about her that he didn't understand, but he did feel a connection to her, in the both of them having lost friends. And he felt comfortable talking to her. She was the first wolf he'd met besides his mother and Sadron, and she was more interesting than he could have imagined. Conversation still made him hesitant, but it was easier talking to her than he'd thought it would be. Alyan was shocked to realize that he didn't want her to go.

But then she spoke again, and he was reassured to hear that she didn't intend on traveling back just yet. Of course she wasn't; it wouldn't be the smartest thing to do, with the coming storm. Did he know of any shelters nearby? What part of I'queyer were they in again? He cast his eyes around the vicinity, trying to figure out where they were. That rock in the distance, that was a landmark ... the trouble with the plains was that everything tended to look the same, and sure enough, the two of them had picked the worst time to visit. The beach would have been a better place to take cover, filled with caves as it was. But they were far from Endyt Beach, and there wasn't enough time to get there."There's a large tree not far from here," he said to Vixen. "That's where I stayed a little while ago, before I decided to take a drink. Would that do?"

While he waited for her assent, he indicated towards the direction he came from and began to walk, adjusting his pace to match hers. "I'm sorry for your losses," he murmured, feeling inadequate to provide any comfort or words of wisdom. "I really admire the way you're refusing to give up. Your pack is lucky to have you - after all that's happened, you still want to return and hold on to what's left of it. It could be so easy to just write it off as another bad chapter in your life." He paused, and then decided to ask what was on his mind. "Um, can I ask you a question?" Nervousness made him cautious, his words coming out slowly. "Would you mind if I ... came with you to search for your pack? I don't mean join or anything, I'm not sure about that, but I would like to - " I would like to take the journey with you and make sure that you find them safe. No, he couldn't say that. Vixen had obviously fended for herself for awhile; she would not appreciate him being protective, especially since they were strangers. Barely missing a beat, with the smallest hesitation as he adjusted his words in midsentence, he continued, " - look around the world a bit more. I haven't had much reason to leave I'queyer, and well, I would love to see where you live." Embarrassment caused him to cringe. "But only if you want me to. I totally get it if you're used to doing stuff alone. I mean, I am too." Alyan decided to stop talking, knowing that he sounded completely stupid. He fell silent and waited for her response, chiding himself for what he said and half shocked at what he'd dared to ask of her. I didn't agree to this, did I? When did I decide that I wanted to leave my home? He could always come back though. Maybe deep down, he'd always wanted a reason to leave this land of memories and embark on a new life somewhere.

[Deleted]

HOLD ON.

So whose topic is this anyway? Well, it was mine and Jay's before you two jumped in. I didn't mind, I was very happy to RP with you both. After all, it is an open topic and I'm quite keen for Alyan to meet new wolves.

But for goodness sake, make one post and then wait your turn, or else start a new topic for just the two of you. It's extremely rude to rush on ahead like that when there are other people involved!

I do not appreciate the way this topic has split into two situations and two conversations. Create another thread if you two want to RP together. Don't choose someone else's thread and make it your own.

If you want to start over and attempt again to RP with Vixen and Alyan, I'd be content for you to delete your other posts and then wait for Vixen to reply, since she is next in the posting order.