[joining] new beginnings

[Deleted]

    Wake up on your own

    And look around you 'cause you're not alone

    Release your high hopes and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive.

    Cautious, delicate white paws wandered in Zaor Forest. Green eyes scanned

    the area profoundly, and an over-cautious pose dominated the arctic femme.

    She was scared of being alone, yet somehow she needed this. She had been walking

    alone all this time, and she was at risk of being killed. Maybe in a pack she'd

    feel protected--God knows she needed to be surrounded by wolves to call family.

    After she lost hers a couple of years ago, she wanted to forget her past somehow.

    However, she missed them. She missed her parents, her brother, her caretakers.

    She missed her past, yet she decided a few days ago she would forget about it and

    move on. She was ready to embark on a new life, and a whole new start. Katja 

    was always very insecure. Katja was always over-cautious and her insecurities

    killed her own motivation to go on. She had a horrid fear of failure and she could

    not hide it anymore. She was afraid of life, of failing those whom she cared and 

    loved. She feared death. She feared pain. She feared herself, often. She was 

    very insecure of herself and sometimes she masked it with tail wags and laughs.

    

    "Here goes nothing."

        

      Dive in and swim away

      From your loneliness and miserable days.

    

    Katja looked to the heavens, and looked at the beautiful canopy of the trees ahead of
    her. She admired nature and always felt a deep spiritual connection with it. She smiled
    and a rush of wind suddenly enveloped her in a refreshing embrace. Katja smiled again and     sighed. Maybe she was destined for this, to join Zakur and have a new life. Maybe it was all a     divine plan or just coincidence. She didn't care as of now, all that she knew is that even     though she was terrified of failing the pack, she had to move on. She took a deep breath and         howled.  "I am seeking acceptance into Zakur. I am in Zaor Forest."  She sat down     and smiled, seeing the trees move and dance with the wind in perfect harmony,
     the cold soil cooling her feet, the wind, oh the wind... how she loved it. She could not imagine  
    herself without it. She loved it like another living being. She began to look at her     surroundings and smiled. Sudden realization struck her like lightning; she has never felt 
    ready for something. She was never prepared. Katja was always afraid and terrified on the     inside. For once in her lifetime, she felt happy, relaxed and at ease. For the first time in her     life she felt prepared. For once in her lifetime, she felt ready. She was ready for a new       beginning.
          
                   

     And when you wake up on your own

     Look around you 'cause you're not alone

     Let your hopes go and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive

     ...You're headed home.

    

    

        

        OOC;;

        "This is the Future" - Owl City

       Done <3 @nashira

    

 

[Deleted]

The Alphess leaned herself forward into an elongated stretch, gentle pops and cracks soothing her rigid spine. She was more than happy with her decision to bring Amar back together; certainly their numbers had decreased, but they were a closer family now. It took pain and suffering to bring creatures together and this had been no exception. The few who remained had been permitted to keep the ranks they had held within Amar, after all there was a point in time where she has trusted Kiddo's judgement. Strange how things could change so quickly, transform into an alternate universe. All that the Mexican femme had believed truth instead contorted itself into some sort of morbid tale. In a way she was hardly even the same canine that she had been only a few months ago. It felt like ages now, lifetimes! How could she have known what was in store for her, it was impossible to view the future. Somehow the heavens had blessed her far more than she could ever imagine. Ever part of her inner being was changing it seemed and the female was weary on what to make of it.

Shivers enveloped her muscular silhouette as she proceeded to meander throughout the territory that was now hers. It was a funny thought that The Oriens belonged to her; in fact, the femme did everything possible to avoid letting anyone know about her innermost feelings. She held her guard higher than most others, rarely letting even an ounce of emotion shine through. Instead, the female forced herself into a stoic state of persistent logical thought. Thus far in life it had kept her safe, but with all of the changes swirling around her - Nashira knew not if it would protect her forever. At one point she would have laughed should anyone tell her differently, now she was not nearly as positive. But that was irrelevant right now, change was bound to happen and there was nothing to do other than accept it. With a gentle sigh, the Alphess proceeded on her peaceful walk. Today was going to be pleasant and relaxing, the female forced herself to believe this. Sometimes it was a struggle; however she had been overcoming more difficult obstacles since she was a whelp. This one would be no different nor any more difficult.

Audits erected immediately as an unfamiliar song drifted towards her, one that was clearly that of a loner. Her request was polite and clear, something that Nashira had hardly expected. This would be the first canine that she would get to accept into Zakur, the decision was hers. Shaking her crania slightly, the femme attempted to push away as much paranoia and doubts as she could. After all, Kiddo had accepted her and she had blatantly trespassed upon his land. Her motives did not matter to him; yet, he put his family at risk in order to better her life. Of course she had not done anything to harm anyone, but the risk was taken nonetheless - it always was when one accepted a stranger into their family. A flare of excitement raced throughout her bones, this was her time to shine. This lone female would be the first stranger she would encounter and they would know her only as their Alphess. She would not be some subordinate within the other's optics. It brought a great swelling of pride into her chest; she was genuinely proud of herself.

With a quiet chuckle of interest, the femme quickened her pace and turned to head in the direction within the forest that the sound had came from. There was a twinge of nervousness held captive within her chest; yet, the rest of her was absolutely intrigued. This would be the first time that she would greet a loner in her lands. Her paws drummed lightly against the ground beneath, her muscular frame calculating its each and every movement as she rushed to approach the other canine. Nostrils inhaled sharply, detecting a faint scent that she did not recognize, 'not yet anyway.' It was nearly impossible for Nashira to prevent a slight grin from spreading across her lips. Thankfully she was running in solitude and none would have the satisfaction of witnessing such a display of emotion. At last her brown orbs landed upon an ivory silhouette not far in the distance. Carefully the Alphess slowed her pace until she stopped not far before the femme.

Her crania was held high; yet, she did not come off as overbearing with her authority. There was a second of silence as she not only observed the canine who had called, but utilized her acute vision to quickly scan the terrain for others. The winds were strong this morning, the only reason that she had been able to even smell the loner. As far as the Alphess knew it was simply the two of them, which brought her some subtle reassurance. Carefully the femme gave a slight nod towards the other in greeting prior to speaking. "Greetings, I am Nashira the Alphess of Zakur. I heard your call about joining us, but I must say - may I know your name?" She tilted her head slightly to show intrigue, otherwise the femme was a blank slate. By no means was she acting harshly, merely shielding all emotions deep within herself as always. The Mexican female was essentially a living statue when it came to feelings.

[Deleted]

    Wake up on your own

    And look around you 'cause you're not alone

    Release your high hopes and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive.

     Katja was an impatient little wolf.

    She began wondering if someone had heard her howl, specifically the Alpha. She lowered her 
    ears and sighed. Maybe her howl was in vain, or maybe she howled too softly. She felt  her     her heart shatter with the thought that she would never have a pack. Her imagination     began drift away to her hopes and desires. She wanted to have a family; she saw herself     surrounded by many wolves, all wagging their tails and smiling at her, calling her sister.     She was about to get up and leave, when she smelled a faint scent. She lifted her head and     began sniffing the air that surrounded and embraced her, and felt the scent get even     stronger. Could it be? Could the approaching stranger be the Alphaess of Zakur? Now she was
    nervous. What if the meeting went wrong? What if she wasn't strong or likable enough?     What if the Alpha was way too strict and dictator-like? What if she was not ready after all?     So many questions, so little time to act, because in the blink of an eye, a beautiful Mexican     wolf femme stood in front of her. Her various colors were as bright as the sun, and Katja felt 
    she was not worthy.  "Greetings, I am Nashira the Alphess of Zakur. I heard your call     about joining us, but I must say - may I know your name?" She lowered her tail     under her legs and bowed before the femme, with ears pressed against her skull.  

"Hello,     Nashira, --t is an honor to 

f-finally m-meet you. M-my name is Katja..."

        

      Dive in and swim away

      From your loneliness and miserable days.

    

    Katja was insanely nervous, but she had to demonstrate she was secure of herself... somehow. 
    Katja? Secure about herself? She didn't think so, but at least she could mask the horrible 
    fear she was going through. She had this... problem with first impressions, so she tried to act
    as kind as possible... she tried to be herself, but her heart was pounding way too fast. She was     trying to relax, so she took a deep breath and she felt how her nerves and body began to calm     down. She needed this, so she wanted to calm down and not ruin things. She sat down and     awaited for Nashira's answer, wanting to prove how respectful she was. She had no idea     what to do now. She knew she couldn't concentrate on long tasks, but she could try. Maybe 
    she could be a great huntress and she limited herself all the time. Or maybe a caretaker, she 
    loved pups. She'd be up for any challenge; she desired a new beginning, so she would have to 
    be up for anything. 
          
                   

     And when you wake up on your own

     Look around you 'cause you're not alone

     Let your hopes go and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive

     ...You're headed home.

    

            

        OOC;;

        "This is the Future" - Owl City

       Done <3 @nashira

    

 

[Deleted]

Thank the Heavens that she was skilled at masking her emotions; otherwise her overbearing nerves would certainly render themselves visible. The Alphess was still getting accustomed to leading the wolves of Zakur, as she had hardly ever dreamed of such a situation. But it was a pleasant event nonetheless, one that held a world of opportunity within the future. She knew that their numbers had dwindled with Kiddo's disappearance; yet, that would not stop her. They would fight through this struggle and in the end they would reign once more. Well, the Mexican femme hoped for such an optimistic future. Hadrian stood by her side, extending advice whenever she asked of it. Often she still found herself surprised that such a noble brute was her father, he was a male of many skills. Truth be told, she was lucky to have found him and formed such a close relationship in the several months they had lived within Amar together. Even without awareness, he had taught her many things about forming a bond with another canine - even if it was merely familial.

Brown optics skimmed the ivory canine before her quickly, making her first judgements based upon the femme's stance. 'She seems as nervous as I am; although she shows it whilst I keep mine hidden.' In a strange way the Alphess felt connected to the mixture of emotions the other was revealing; yet, she would not admit it. She needed to hold face as a strong and capable leader of Zakur. Not only was she a female, but Mexican wolves were not exactly the largest canines. Thankfully she had warrior training growing up, otherwise she may have found herself in a rather difficult situation. It would be humiliating for them to be overtaken by another pack simply because she was a female and smaller. Nashira was stubborn and refused to admit that such an event could ever occur. They were fighters here within Zakur, even if everyone was not a warrior. She believed that they would all stand strong for their beliefs and their family, that was what mattered.

With a slight inhale the femme began to speak again, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Katja." A dry smile slunk across her muzzle, it was the best that the stoic canine could extend. Her upbringing had taught her to shield the innermost thoughts and emotions from the world. It would only create chaos and heartbreak in the long run; thus far, she had experienced very few emotional struggles due to this distance. Rhea, her dearest mother, was the only creature that had ever stirred happiness inside her soul - until father came back into the picture. It took a few moments for her to gather her thoughts in order to proceed with the typical flow of conversation, or at least what she imagined it to be. Nashira had only witnessed one member's acceptance into Amar; therefore, she felt slightly lost at what to do. "Your call spoke of acceptance into our family, what can you contribute to our well being? We all pull our own weight around here, it allows us to live a safe life of luxury." Her head nodded slowly as if it reinforced her words.

A gentle wind rustled throughout the female's multi-hued pelt, and a wave of reassurance crashed within her. At least something out in the world believed in her, 'hopefully the others do as well.' Cautiously her tail began to waggle, an attempt to ease the apparent worry within the other female. "I appreciate your respectful stance; yet, there is no reason to grovel towards me. I am no goddess," a twinge of emotion flared up within her laughter. Nashira had hardly expected the happiness to show through and felt a quick flush of warmth rush to her features. Luckily, the other could not see the brightening coloration of her flesh behind her thick pelt. Perhaps this was a good sign, maybe she was starting to figure out how to witness positive emotions without feeling dreadfully weak. Only time would tell how this would play out.

[Deleted]

    Wake up on your own

    And look around you 'cause you're not alone

    Release your high hopes and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive.

Katja's nerves were slowly giving up, making Katja's before stiff position become relaxed. She saw how  approachable Nashira was; she was strict, sure, but she seemed very friendly. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Katja."  

"No, it is my pleasure." 

Katja smiled shyly at her and sighed. "Your call spoke of acceptance     into our family, what can you contribute to our well being? We all pull our own weight around here, it allows us to live a safe life of luxury. I appreciate your respectful stance; yet, there is no reason to grovel towards me. I am no goddess,"" Katja sighed again and lowered her head a little bit to think deeply in what she was about to say. She clearly did not know what she would do. She was so caught up in her insecurities and what she couldn't do that she forgot about the things she could do. Katja lived all of her live criticizing herself on her negative traits but never thought about the positive ones. It was then she realized how truly insecure she was, and how fragile she turned out to be. Katja's  heartbeat increased as she thought  she took a few seconds to speak. She lifted her muzzle and looked at Nashira respectfully into her  eyes.  "To be honest, I have been living all my life looking at my negatives, and never saw my positives. I just want a new start, yet I have to be honest with you; even if I believe that I am not good enough, I have to find who I am. I wanted to do so in this pack. Even if I haven't found my potential yet I want to become one with this pack and help out in any way possible. However, I really love pups, and taking care of them. They are precious to me. I could take care of them if you want. I am willing to do anything. And, I know you are no goddess, but the sole fact that I am here right now is amazingly precious to me." 
       

 Dive in and swim away

From your loneliness and miserable days.

    

 Katja's voice broke a little there as she spoke. She really didn't know who she was right now. Katja was sure she was going to be denied or something. She knew she was no use for anyone. She lowered her head and sighed deeply, trying to mask in the pain she was in right now. Never in her life has she felt so... useless. So  pitiful. She wanted to show how grateful she was to be here, in this spot, even if she felt so broken on the inside. She began to think about herself, and noticed she never even notice any  talents  in herself. Maybe Nashira would think she was truly useless, or maybe she would be so wise to  see at least  a bit of potential in her. A lone tear escaped from her emerald eyes and a sad smile appeared  on her muzzle. "I am sorry if I seem useless right now. I just don't know my virtues... only my failures."  She looked at Nashira and made a small prayer, hoping that the Mexican would see at least a small light, something to hold on, at least something that would make her worthy of being called a Zakur member. Even if she ended up in the lowest ranks, she would be happy. She just wanted to have a new start, and to find herself.
                   

     And when you wake up on your own

     Look around you 'cause you're not alone

     Let your hopes go and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive

     ...You're headed home.

    

    

        

        OOC;;

        "This is the Future" - Owl City

       DONE <3  @nashira

    

 

[Deleted]

Thus far, this newcomer seemed quite innocent. The Mexican female had little reason to believe that she was intentionally ever going to cause Zakur any problems. An air simply floated around Katja that made her deep insecurities apparent. It reminded the Alphess of herself in a way, she had always been confident in certain tasks and abilities; however, when it came to socializing with others, she tended to be distant and quiet. Over the years it had cost her many potential lovers and friends, but none of that mattered now. Some great heavenly force had fallen from its perch upon a cloud, accidentally blessing her with such a ranking. There could be no other reason why she was here ruling over The Oriens, it was simply some divine mix-up. Was she supposed to drag herself so down and act so pessimistically towards the good things in her life? Either way, Nashira was uncertain how to digest the vast amount of changes.

The Alphess perked her ears and focused her brown orbs back upon the female, listening carefully to what the other canine said. A part of Nashira became frightened by the way the lone female described exactly how she was feeling. Even now, being an Alphess - she still settled her mind onto the more disappointing aspects of life. Things were great for her; yet, she did not know how to process such an occurrence within her brain. After all, it was strange to think she had went through this many years of life without a single friend. None were willing to work for the Mexican's trust. Everyone expected it to be simply granted for no reason, was that how things were supposed to work? Were relationships not formed based on more than superficial words and lying smiles? If that was what a supposedly healthy relationship was, then she did not want one. Confidence swelled within her for a moment, there was someone else out there who was experiencing the same emotions as her. 'Maybe miracles do happen,' the thought nearly made her smile, but she resisted. There were reasons for optimism, she had found her War God father, Hadrian. Life was not expected to twist and turn in that way.

Delicately the Alpha's mind rolled across her options for the ideal response to Katja. There were too many things that she wished to say, but what was best? Shifting her weight cautiously a few more times, the female at last grasped the appropriate words. "Above all else I respect the honesty you extended me, it shows more than anything else that you are committed to Zakur." Audits flicked a few times,the Mexican female was attempting to soothe her troubled stomach. The amount of self inflicted stress upon her body was making her almost feel sick. "Some are blessed to know their talents from a young age, others do not discover then until their later years. I am confident that there will come a time when you can view some of your own. As for finding a home, you are more than welcome to join Zakur as a subordinate." Slowly, Nashira nodded her head to solidify that she was done speaking for the time being.

That was that, she had brought a loner into their home. A poor homeless canine was now a member of Zakur, utilizing this opportunity to find herself. Gently Nashira ended a frigid, emotionless smile. It was the best that she could bring to Katja as they had only just met. Perhaps one day the Alphess would find herself close to another wolf; thus far such am event had never occurred. It made her nervous, but she had never formed a true relationship with another canine. Muddy orbs refocused from their distant gaze back upon the subordinate's features. 'What is she thinking?' Her multi-hued tail quivered several times out of anticipation. 'Please do not break my trust, femme. It will surely cause me to end your life.' The mere thought of betrayal frightened Nashira greatly, but she had risked her comfort for this female. Hopefully they appreciated it.

[Deleted]

    Wake up on your own

    And look around you 'cause you're not alone

    Release your high hopes and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive.

    Katja's eyes grew larger in size, her tail wagged softly and her smile grew bigger as she heard the Alphaess'     words.  "Above all else I respect the honesty you extended me, it shows more than anything else that     you     are committed to Zakur. Some are blessed to know their talents from a young age, others do not     discover     then until their later years. I am confident that there will come a time when you can view     some of your own. As for finding a home, you are more than welcome to join Zakur as     a  subordinate." Katja would not believe she found someone that could view that small ray of hope in     her     soul. She was thrilled that someone saw true potential in her, and that someone would deem     her worthy  of being in a pack. A lone tear yet again escaped her green eyes, which were growing     more     misty each passing second. She was thankful and she was going to prove it to Nashira; she had     been     exceptionally nice with her, and she could not thank the Mexican enough. She sighed with happiness     and     prepared herself to speak. "Oh, my... Thank you, I-I... I can't wait to start from scratch.   I thank you, Nashira, and I will be faithful to you and Zakur no matter what     happens.     I am eternally grateful."

         

 Dive in and swim away

From your loneliness and miserable days.

    

     Katja stood up from her previous sitting position and smiled with sincerity. She has never felt so amazing,     so inspired to do great things. She knew that Zakur would be of great help, although she was nervous     because she had never interacted with other wolves in a pack; she would have occasional encounters with     strangers and loners, and some were dangerous for her. Katja, unsure of what to do, looked to the right,     then to the left, then to Nashira. "Well, uh... What do we do now?" She giggled respectfully and     awaited instructions from her new Alpha. She quickly began to see herself in a few months or years. She     saw herself, probably hunting alongside the most quickest hunters, or perhaps fighting for Zakur, or     maybe just gathering herbs for the Shaman. She saw herself surrounded by pups, and she saw herself     laughing. Katja saw so many positive things of her life flash before her eyes that it made her shiver a little     with joy. She felt that life had blessed her with this opportunity, and she was not going to waste it. She     wagged her tail in anticipation, for she had no idea on what to do.
                   

     And when you wake up on your own

     Look around you 'cause you're not alone

     Let your hopes go and they'll survive

    'Cause this is the future and you are alive

     ...You're headed home.

    

    

        

        OOC;;
           What do we do now? x3 It's the first time I join a pack, so I'm not sure about the     process that follows after creating the joining thread.

        "This is the Future" - Owl City

       DONE <3  @nashira