Will to Live [Open]

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If one were to venture into the far depths of the Virak Caverns, one would come across a small bundle of orange-red fur hunched miserably against the cold stone wall. This she wolf in question was not in the best of moods; lately she'd been regretting ever setting foot in such a god-forsaken place. Xisyn was nothing but trouble; it hated her, she was sure of it. Why else would it make it so difficult for her to travel anywhere without tripping over or twisting her leg on the wickedly sharp stones which littered the sinkhole? It was a good day when the virtually three-legged wolf could make it across the territory without falling on her face at least once.

But that wasn't what was bothering her. She missed her mother Revan, and her siblings, and the nice warm cave in Kamari where they all used to curl up together. And she missed the feeling of companionship she’d experienced in the small Isata pack, with its strong and just alphess, and the patient but engaging tutoring of wise Akitla. Not to say that Scout was a bad teacher, she told herself hurriedly – she just missed her old families.

Ryala, or Tassos as it was now called, was a far larger pack than she’d ever been in, and she hadn’t even met half the members here. All the strange scents frightened her; she could hardly tell who was friend and who was foe. It was sort of similar to the way things had been in Haishin, she supposed, but at least back then she’d had her family, and she hadn’t felt like a useless third wheel.

Why? Why did no happiness in her life ever last? Would she ever be able to settle down in peace, with the knowledge that she had a secure family who would look after her, and would appreciate her in return? It didn’t look like such a fantasy would be occurring anytime soon. Everyone she’d ever been close to was dead or missing; it just wasn’t fair! There was only so much the usually tough little she wolf could take, and her stubborn resolve to find and keep her dream family was wearing thin – it seemed that the world held no place for the half-breed invalid runt.

So Vixen sobbed into her paws, vehemently wishing that the earth would burn to a blackened crisp, taking everyone who’d ever dismissed her with it. Nobody ever noticed her; her pack probably wouldn’t even realise that she hadn’t been above ground in the last few days, too busy as she was sulking in the dark passageways beneath their paws.
Nobody ever gave her respect; she was smaller and younger than most of the wolves in Tassos, and only a gatherer. She was unimportant – the pack’s survival didn’t depend on her presence. Scout was the one they all went to when they needed help – after all, how could such a weak timid femme such as herself know the first thing about how to treat a serious injury? A snarl ripped through the little vixen’s maw as she struck out at the floor, sending sand grains skittering across the stone. She was not weak! How dare they think she was useless?! She was Cona, last surviving daughter of brave Acarapi and clever Revan! Or rather, Acarapi the rapist and Revan the whore… A fresh wave of sobs overcame the poor creature and she buried her head under her paws, never wanting to face those judging looks ever again.


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The Alpha felt significantly more confident after speaking with his closest companion, Scout. Things were actually in the process of moving forwards once again; the Alpha tended to get himself stuck in unpleasant situations. He had such a difficult time organizing his thoughts and tasks in order to make progress until they were completed. Now, he had a Beta to assist him in tending to those of Tassos. That was step one to this entire madness, locating the gatherer had been the second. The russet male had assumed he would stumble across the femme at one point or another while he was on border patrol; however much to his displeasure, he had not stumbled across the female. At first he had taken it as pure coincidence or perhaps that Scout had requested her to collect some herbs for him. 'Is she gone?' the thought made his body stiff with frozen hatred. The Alpha was having enough struggles emotionally to have to hunt down members that were running off. Soon enough he hoped to find the missing Aowyn and Vixen, as they were beginning to create much worry in his brain.

His body was beginning to grow weary and the Alpha decided it was time to lay in the shade and relax for a little while. Nostrils flared for a moment, irritation slowly leaving his body. He could figure out how to solve this situation, it would just take some brainpower and relaxation. Over time he had acquired quite the habit of over analyzing nearly every situation, which only gave him anxiety and panic. Spending alone time to clear his mind was the only way that the Alpha had not lashed out at any of his family members. With a slight sigh, he padded his way towards the caverns. They were the closest form of shelter and Rasalas had a hunch that they would extend him some alone time. It was not that he wished to abandon the presence of the pack members; merely that the Alpha was too plagued with worry. How did one resolve the situation of two missing females without striking fear into all of the other members? The last thing he wanted was to instill paranoia and a lack of safety into the others. Then there would be no reason for them to stay within Tassos either; he would be left with another partially assembled pack that was struggling to survive.

Carefully the brute hopped over a few bits of rubble until his muscular silhouette had made its entrance into the cavern. Instantly his audits detected a faint noise and his nostrils filled with the scent of Vixen. A swelling excitement filled his chest and the Alpha longer to bound after the femme but his eyes had not adjusted to the dim lighting. A few seconds passed and the brute proceeded forward, avidly searching for the gatherer. As the sounds became clear noises of distress, the Alpha moved quicker. He rounded a small bend and nearly stumbled upon the tiny female, "Vixen!" His cry was one of happiness as well as surprise for nearly stumbling onto her. "I have been searching for you - are you alright? Did someone dare to injure you?" The recent encounter with Jaeger even furthered Rasalas' worry; that female had tried to attack them when she was found inside Tassos' borders. Surely he knew it was only out of fear; yet, he would not stand for any of his current family members becoming wounded.

The red male took a few gentle steps closer to the distressed femme, offering her a gentle muzzle of encouragement. Amber eyes scanned he body as closely as possible in order to see that there were no sounds upon her. It was fantastic that Vixen knew about medicine and could have tended her own injuries, but whoever injured her would surely be paying. Rasalas was one to hold grudges and he would seek out revenge on whatever harmed his family in any way. It was his job to protect them and he was not going to break such a vow.

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The floor around the small ginger she wolf was muddy with her tears; it seemed as if her sobs would never cease. What reason was there for her to stop crying anyway? She had no goals for the immediate future; none realistic anyways. All that was left for her to do was lie here and feel sorry for herself – since no one else seemed to care. She had no more friends in the world, except for maybe Alyan, who she hadn’t spent much time with since he’d joined. Had he found some other pretty femme in the pack, someone who didn’t burst into tears at any slight towards her? It wouldn’t be hard to find someone better than her, would it? Vixen gave another little sniffle. Why should she care anyway? If someone didn’t care for her, she wouldn’t care for them.

The little she wolf’s head jolted up in fright as the sound of a wolf’s voice echoed loudly in the passageway. And not just any wolf. That was Rasalas, the alpha of the pack she was currently part of. Wide silver eyes stared at the large shape that made its way towards her out of the gloom as her mind raced to find a reasonable excuse for why she was so far down in the caves by herself. It seemed that she didn’t have to try hard though, for as Rasalas spoke he provided her with one – someone had tried to injure her. Before Vixen even knew what she was doing she was nodding along with him, her mind already turning to the weaving of her story.

“Yes, well, I mean, I didn’t get injured physically, but there was this big wolf… a male. I was just looking for herbs by the stream and he tried to attack me. And then I ran away down here.” She peered worriedly up at Rasalas, trying to see if he’d believed her hastily created lie. The choked sobs in her voice weren't too over the top, were they? After all, there surely were some pretty dangerous wolves roaming around the area, some of whom could frighten even the strongest male. And besides, the alpha had brought the suggestion up himself, so an attack must be at least plausible in his eyes.

But now she felt guilty for deceiving him; her ears flattened to her head and she broke eye contact. Vixen never lied – it just wasn’t in her nature. She was a just and honourable she wolf. But one little lie wouldn’t hurt, would it? Her pride had to be maintained and that couldn’t be done if the alpha thought she was a weak snivelling pup. There was no way that she was going to confess that she’d been sulking because she was feeling lost and lonely; nobody cried for such a silly reason. And if he was to find out that she was a liar on top of that… no, she had to go through with this.



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A wave of emotion flooded throughout the Alpha's body, a mixture of rage and sorrow. 'Could this be the canine that had taken Aowyn? Has she been abducted and did not flee?' His thoughts were bringing waves of dizziness upon his muscular frame. All this time he had believed the huntress to run from him and the rest of Tassos - she could have been in danger the whole time! 'Did they take Aries as well? Is someone out to get us?' The brute nearly wretched at the mere concept of such an event. Perhaps his life was simply becoming more chaotic instead of normal. The brute felt like a traitor to both missing femmes, they may have needed him and he failed them. Adhara and Algethi went missing, then Aries and now Aowyn - this could not simply be a coincidence, right? A wolf then tried to attack delicate Vixen while she was simply gathering to help the family. His claws flexed against the firm ground beneath, he vowed to protect them even if it meant his own death. He would not let any more suffering come to them.

Hackles began to rise and the Alpha instinctively sent a dominant golden gaze towards the entrance of the caves. A low, rolling growl left his maw, echoing violently across the walls surrounding them. Lips slowly curled back into a demonic, hateful grin. This was the creature's last chance to leave Tassos forever, otherwise it was going to be slaughtered. This was the first time that the brute could recall displaying any form of his inner wrath when in the presence of another pack member; however the actions happened so rapidly and instinctually that there was simply nothing he could do to stop them. Audits pulled tightly against the brute's skull for a few seconds as he stared fiercely into the expanse before him. After a moment his evil sneer drifted away and the Alpha quickly turned his attention back to the gatherer. Quickly he scanned her, ensuring that she was not lying about having wounds; thankfully, she seemed to be in decent health. "I am terribly sorry, I should have been there for you. I promise I will personally protect you until this matter is sorted out." Anguish lay thick within the Alpha's voice, once more he had failed someone relying upon him. His chest tightened as his breathing increased sharply.

"What did he look like? Do you recall any specific markings? Did he speak to you at all?" his questions rolled haphazardly from his muzzle, anxiety swirling with the anger inside of him. Rasalas felt a stabbing pain throughout his heart, 'how could I manage to let her down? I let everyone down, everyone close to me.' He had always been partial to Vixen and quite close to all the other missing females. Perhaps he was a demonic creature and karma was attacking him, tormenting him - proving that he was no good and never would be! Protectively, the Alpha brought himself closer to Vixen and extended a gentle nuzzle of comfort to her shoulder. It seemed that the world was out to get him, never would the russet male achieve any form of security or happiness. Just when one place of his life sorted itself out, another collapsed. A sudden shivering of rage consumed his strong figure, it longed to destroy whatever creation was stealing away his loved ones. Everyone he cared for was gone all because of his own negligence! Just when he believed himself a capable Alpha, another situation presented itself to prove otherwise.

It was time to go on a hunt again, the same as he had for his missing sisters. It had been far too long since he had thoroughly searched for them, now he had two other femmes to hopefully find as well. Suddenly the brute found himself seated abruptly upon his rump, knees had locked and the turmoil within nearly caused him to faint. Thankfully the sudden flush upon his facial features was invisible to Vixen, he could only imagine how disappointed and frightened she was. After all, she had left and rejoined them only to be attacked by some brute! His words stuck within his throat for a moment before the Alpha could give them to the air, "I never wanted to fail you, I understand if you wish to leave us once that evil canine is dead. I never meant for you to be hurt, I always wanted to keep you and the others safe." Cautiously, he pushed himself back into a standing poise, every movement damaging his wounded mind. 'Why would she want to be the medic for us now that she does not feel safe?' Turning slowly away from her, Rasalas forced down the tears that wanted to swell within his orbs. He had always been a failure, from the very beginning. Since the day his parents had passed on, it was his fault.

Shuddering again he spoke, "Should you chose to stay I will do everything I can to protect you, and if you wish it the rank of shaman is yours. I wish I could have found and told you before he arrived." Even with pure intentions, life bit him in the ass. He could not make everyone happy, he could not keep them safe. What use was he as an Alpha? Soon enough the others would find out about this attack and likely flee to another pack. The thought itself shattered his heart and caused him to stumble over himself. This was the event he had always feared.

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Silver eyes widened in shock as the alpha suddenly let out a loud violent growl. His hackles were bristling, making him look even larger than he was naturally, and a dark malicious light gleamed in his eyes. Vixen had never seen him so frightfully angry before… so immensely powerful. No wonder he was alpha. Usually he seemed so subdued, but now… he could have turned on her and ripped her to pieces without much effort at all. Despite knowing that his wrath was not aimed at her, the female had instinctively lowered herself in submission to his dominant presence. He truly looked like a force to be reckoned with.

Then Rasalas turned to her, and after looking over her body for wounds, apologised for the attack – his fierce rage appeared to have passed, although she still detected a dark undertone to his words. “It’s… it’s okay.” The small gatherer was simply at a loss for words – her mind was still spinning from what she’d just witnessed, and the guilt at knowing she had caused such a drastic change in him weighed heavily on her heart. Three more questions he asked her, about the identity of her attacker, and she was forced to kick her brain back into gear as she hastily scrambled to find an answer.
“I… I can’t remember. He was just muttering nonsense… he must have been wrong in the head. And… his fur was brown, mostly. I didn’t… see any unusual markings.”

It seemed plausible enough. She waited in silence for the alpha’s next move, almost anticipating another bout of anger. She didn’t expect him to do what he did next; he slowly closed the distance between them and gave her a gentle nuzzle, sending feelings jolting through her that she couldn’t quite identify. Guilt? Awkwardness? Pleasure? Comfort? Vixen was thankful for his presence anyhow; she hadn’t had such close contact with another wolf in such a long time, and she hadn’t realised how much she was craving companionship. And it was touching, really, to see that the alpha of such a large pack did genuinely care for her well-being; she half-wished that he would go out and mount a search party to bring her imaginary attacker to justice.

But no, that wasn’t fair. If his tone and facial expressions offered even a glimpse of what was beneath, she must be making him feel terrible. All for nothing, too; she hadn’t been attacked at all – in fact Tassos had been doing a good job of protecting her. She felt much safer here than she had during her brief trip to the loner lands, and she didn’t know where else she would go if given the chance. Vixen was half-desert breed; her short red fur was suited to the hot climates of Xisyn and the Occasus. Maybe she did belong here.

Then Rasalas’s voice came again, choked with anguish as he told her that he had never meant to fail her. That was it, the last straw. She couldn’t let him worry about a danger that didn’t even exist… Besides, it was insulting to think that she would run away for such a silly reason.

Steeling herself, the small female pulled herself to her paws and resolutely turned to face her alpha. “Of course I’ll stay. I’m fine, really. He didn’t even touch me – I just got a fright, that’s all. There’s no need to worry, I can assure you.” Vixen hoped desperately that he would take her word for it, but she feared she had already gotten herself in too deep with this silly lie. And if he asked more questions of her, sooner or later she’d make a mistake with her wording and he’d realise that she’d been making the whole thing up… what would happen to her then?

No! Vixen roughly pushed the frightening thoughts out of her mind and tried to concentrate on appearing as if she was perfectly fine, completely in control of her spiraling emotions. Relaxed posture, steady breathing… She didn’t think she was doing too badly, even if she said so herself.

That was, until he offered her the shaman position… “What?” Surprise was evident in the young she wolf’s voice; this had been her dream for ages, and here he was offering it to her just like that? “A… a shaman? What about Scout?” He wasn’t that old; surely he couldn’t have retired? Another wave of guilt sliced through her as she realised how overjoyed she was, when Rasalas was standing there so shattered. She really did feel bad about it, but what could she possibly do? It wasn’t her fault; she hadn’t known that one tiny lie might send him over the edge.



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The Alpha's rage was rolling like the angry tides. One moment it surfaced, visibly aggressive and ready to destroy; yet, moments later it had dripped into the loneliest parts of his marrow, merely waiting for another opportunity. The russet male was not nervous about showing such wrath as he typically was; after all, Vixen was lucky to even be alive anymore! The lone male could have done anything he pleased with her. The thought made Rasalas feel absolutely sick, why was he simply incapable of protecting those that he cared so strongly for? 'Perhaps I simply that much of a failure.' The thought brought his knees to a buckling placement for a few seconds. From today forth he was going to step up his game and protect Tassos more than ever before. He needed them and it was his duty to keep them safe and secure within their borders. Giving his head a nod, the brute drifted back into reality. There was a reason he had been searching for Vixen, other than her sudden disappearance, and she deserved his total undivided attention now.

"I will be looking for him, thank you," the Alpha offered the femme another protective nuzzle. His heart weighed heavily against him, rather than working to help him with this task he working against himself. It was counterproductive and he hated it. The recent events were making the Alpha wish to only protect those around them; however, he was incapable of doing so it seemed. That had to be why his sisters were gone, his family had perished. His own weaknesses were obviously visible by those around him; perhaps Aries left because she saw through his feigned strength. The red brute despised the amount of worthlessness seeping throughout his organs. Even poor Vixen could be taken, all of them would be except for himself. When the world came to its final explosion, he would be the only one left to absorb the wreckage into his lonesome amber eyes. It would be then that the wolf would realize just how awful he was to let all the others die. Alone he would stand with the whole world around him.

Audits flicked nervously as she claimed to be safe from harm, healthy - okay. Confusion entangled itself within his brain. He could simply not fathom how she found things to be the same after such an occurrence. 'She must be in denial, or afraid that next time it will be worse.' One of his front paws moved itself in slow circles, Rasalas was totally stumped by her reaction. It simply did not make sense regardless of the spin he attempted to put on it. "I will do everything possible to protect you, I could not save anyone else but things will change. Tassos will be safe." Crania shook slightly while the Alpha wondered if any of the others realized that Aowyn was missing. Maybe their fear was as great as his own. The shining light she had given him was slowly diminishing, the red femme had silently broken his heart. He could not even regret the moments they had shared, but only wished that he had guarded his heart from the present anguish.

A sigh passed from his muzzle, one of absolute relief at the topic change. At least the gatherer showed interest in the topic of a rank change. A slight smile appeared alongside a near silent chuckle. "Scout has decided to accept my offer to become the Beta of Tassos. Additionally, we have decided that you are more than capable of taking on the role of shaman. Of course he will always be there to assist you if needed. Thus, the rank is yours if you would like it." Slowly the brute wagged his tail, they were talking about something happy now. He could pretend that the pain was not real, none of it had actually plagued his life. One day he could overcome this, but Tassos came first. It always did and always would, until the end of his days.