Cross My Mind [open]

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The smile the other wore faded and reappeared, and the male felt a surge of guilt for the wide range of emotions his inquiries seemed to inspire. Her voice was laced in bitterness as she cautioned Summit about curiosity and the downfalls his interest would bring upon him if he was not careful. His maw clamped firmly shut as she attempted to explain Ren one more time. Once more, Summit’s honey-hued oculars shifted away from the female. There was nothing, only empty space and the endless walls of trees. ”Maybe that is better than having no one at all,” he commented solemnly, more to himself than to the other.

How easy it would be, he mused, to surrender to the sadness and the looming mania that seemed to shadow the wolves who remained solo. Even some of the pack wolves were not entirely stable. Maybe they were all just crazy. No one got through their lives unscathed on Anikira. Perhaps happiness was just an illusion, almost tangible but forever out of reach, always fleeting.

He kept his own history to himself; since she had not asked, he thought it better not to share. Summit had a privilege that so many wolves seemed to lack: a solid background with a close-knit family. It only seemed natural now that misfortune was never far behind, lurking in the shadows, a constant threat that would strip a wolf to his very soul. He had never considered the fact that happiness was not a state that seemed to last for very long, or that he would be left utterly alone. They were all gone now, their physical bodies now disintegrating into nothingness, but the memories remained. It made the present seem all the more dreary and sad, for he knew how it was to have those bonds, and he knew now how it felt to lose it all.

”Hey, I’m not trying to make you feel bad. We don’t have to talk about that.” He half expected her to turn away and leave now, as he suspected he had offended her on numerous counts. ”If you’re heading to the south, I can help show you the way to some warmer weather. Or water... Everyone has to have water, right? Maybe you both are thirsty?” A lopsided grin awkwardly crossed his muzzle. If you can’t beat them, join them. He would indulge her visions if it meant he would have someone else there beside him, if only for a little while.

words: 415
tag: @katari

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There was a heavy, sad feeling sinking into Katari's chest the moment Summit spoke. She knew all too well what it was like to have no one, to be lost in a churning world with salvation far out of reach, yet still within eyesight. It had been her life. Before Ren, before leaving, she had known no other feeling. The long, painful days were only interrupted by the empty nights of hoping she would be able to sleep through the darkness nightmare free. Her mind conjured up no words or phrases of comfort at first, lost in an empathetic numbness. "Summit..." she pouted, her voice matching his tone of grief. ”Everyone has no one at some point in their lives. If you didn't before, you do now. Ren and can be your someone." A slight grin tickled the corners of her mouth, hopefulness woven into her face. "We can be like super best friends. Forever and ever."

The moment Katari had sensed his sadness, her head was flooded with mimicking emotions, memories once thought buried forever dug up and fluttering anxiously around her mind. She could relive the suffering, if she let her mind wander so dangerously far. She could let go and have her sanity consumed by the sickness, giving up sleep in favor of long, cold nights plagued by horrors in her mind, fresh and searing despite time having worn away their context. That was why it was dangerous to feel sad. It was all too easy to give in to the burden of misery, so the safest thing to do was be warm and bright; your light burning away even the idea of darkness.

"It's okay" she breathed, interrupting her toxic train of thought. "You didn't make me feel bad." She didn't want Summit to think she was upset with him. It was funny, really, how they could be in the same boat but on a different wavelength. She supposed it would be something that came with time, speaking through silence rather than words. It made her wonder if she would ever get to that point with her new friend. "Warmer weather sounds pretty fantastic at this point. These trees are seriously depressing, despite their beauty." She glanced at Ren, looking for any signs that would tell her he didn't want to go with Summit, but he stared blankly ahead, unprotesting. "Yeah, water sounds like a good idea too at the moment, and I guess that's a yes from Ren as well." Her face brightened, "Lead the way, water boy."

Words: 423

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Her light-hearted words were endearing, bursting through the somber mood like a ray of sunshine through storm clouds. So now he had two friends in the world – one was invisible, and the other was likely a little unhinged. She didn’t look crazy. In the end, it mattered not. Summit was not going to turn someone away, especially when that someone wanted to be ‘like super best friends.’ Historically, the brute’s only friends had been his sisters, and all three of his litter mates had succumbed to the mysterious plague that decimated the snowy white male’s natal pack. There was a small part of Summit that still expected to find one of his sisters during his wandering. Then, the lingering image of their lifeless bodies would resurface in his mind, their eyes wide open and staring into nothingness, and he knew they were gone for good.

Mother had once told her babies that wolves could never really die, that their spirits remained long after they were departed. Summit believed it at the time. He had no reason to doubt his momma, respected as a sage in their clan. He still liked to believe that these words were true, but sometimes he had his doubts. He was usually careful to avoid those thoughts – the kind that pulled a wolf down like quicksand, and were just as difficult to escape. Shaking his head, he pushed the shadows away from his mind once more. What was done could not be undone. The permanence of change and the consequences of passing time still took his breath away.

His expression mirrored the pretty fae’s, half grin growing into a broad smile spread ‘cross his maw. He made no attempt to hide his excitement – he had always been an open book, easy to read and sincere. It was a relief to see he had not completely alienated Katari... and Ren too, he supposed, as it seemed the invisible figure’s opinion had considerable sway over her course of action. He still could not quite wrap his mind around the concept of Ren, whether he was real or whatever the case was. It was definitely weird, but weird didn’t really bother Summit.

His plan to scale the high peaks was quickly abandoned, at least for now. The mountains would always be there, waiting for the brave adventure seekers who were not satisfied until they climbed to the highest of heights, where the air was thin and crisp. The jagged mountain tops could wait for another day. His new super best friend could not. ”I will lead the way, then,” he said with the hint of laughter laced in his silky baritone voice. ”But we will have to go deeper into the forest before we can leave it. Is that alright with you two?” Following a stranger required a great deal of trust, and he had to be certain she was willing and ready to venture further into a place that made her so uncomfortable.

words: 495
tag: @katari

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Katari watched his face carefully, trying to figure out what was going on beneath the surface. He looked... happy, and it made her happy as well. It was one thing to be a light in the darkness, but it was an entirely new level when your light was mirrored back at you. It wasn't as if Katari was unhappy when she was alone, as long as she was in a good enough mood that burned out all the negative things swirling around her. It sometimes almost felt like a challenge; how could she brighten a certain place, or sometimes even a certain person. Now, though, with Ren and Summit beside her, she could look at the forest from a new perspective. The trees weren't as dark, their fingers no longer trying to grab and hold her in place forever. What spots of sky poked through the thick foliage were no longer a tease, but rather a promise of things to come; of warmth and safety.

When she was young, Katari had always wanted to be liked. Starved for the affection she so greatly needed, she explored the world around her pack's home, looking for things that she could persuade. These journeys had often ended with bad results, whether it be an unknown animal not taking kindly to her interest, or even another wolf, exploiting her young abused mind. These were the dark times, the times before she had Ren to keep her steady, to be by her side and lead her onto the path of least destruction. She had put this part of her history long behind her, taking only the knowledge she learned from it along into her current life.

It was a roller coaster even just talking to Summit. They switched from solemn to giddy excitement all too quickly, and it made Katari like him even more. "Yes yes yes." She chirped, speaking only to hear her own voice rather than say something important. She grinned evilly at his words. "Deep forest, you say? It is you who should be worried, my friend. I am actually a super deadly serial killer. That's right. I'm not just a pretty face, you know. Beneath this tough exterior lies an evil monster."

Words: 371
Ooc: sorry its short I have to go beat Vickie up because SHE WONT STAY IN HER LANE. <3

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These are the good times in your life
so put on a smile and it will be alright.

The smile tugging at the corners of his dark lips continued to grow, satisfied that the uncomfortable conversation had come to a swift conclusion. Part of Summit was curious about Katari’s history – how bad it could have been, and how it still managed to produce someone who seemed so harmless and sweet. The whole Ren thing was a little more concerning, but the imaginary brute was harmless enough, something Summit could overlook and even play along with if it pleased the female. ”Pretty face, yes. Evil monster? I sincerely doubt that,” he responded, amusement laced in his mellow voice. Finally, he turned away from the female, oversized paws nearly stumbling over one another as he angled himself back towards the south. Never had he been a graceful creature.

While the idea of being a psychopathic murderer amused him, the thought brought a shiver along the male’s spine, for he knew – they could be out here, those wolves with malicious intent. Summit took lives only when his belly was empty, and even then, he found no joy in killing the smaller prey he had to eat to ensure his own survival. Sometimes, he thought about what his father would say if he could see him now, never growing into a warrior as his sire had intended. Brutish violence and insufferable dominance played no part in Summit’s character, who had instead shadowed his mother as she tended to the injuries and ailments of their small, close-knit pack. His knowledge of healing pale in comparison, but he knew enough to get by. He was aware of the names of plants and some of their healing properties – perhaps this was the main reason he was so unperturbed by the surrounding forest. The woodlands hid many secrets, if you just knew what to look for.

Peering over his shoulder, Summit observed that Katari was ready and willing to follow – despite his questions, despite only knowing each other for a short while. It was more trust than any other had displayed towards the large brute since his departure from the jungle. He was only slightly concerned about his own well-being as he wandered, fairly confident in his own ability to either talk his way out of a skirmish or defend himself. One could never be completely certain that the places they tread were free of protective packs or irrational loners with a thirst for blood. Katari had not asked for his protection, but Summit felt some responsibility in seeing her through the forest now safely. Saffron orbs carefully scanned the path he had been following before he was satisfied that there were only two of them there – well, three, with Ren included.

”It’s safe,” he murmured, more for his benefit than Katari’s, who seemed less concerned about the possibility of violence. She had approached him willingly, after all, a total stranger that was by no means a small wolf. ”There’s a spring nearby. I found it hiding beneath ferns, tucked away where no one else can find it. I’ll bet it’s the coldest water you will ever drink!  Then I can point you in the right direction for a nice, sunny place free of packs.”

words: 549
tags: katari

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Katari realized that the three of them probably looked crazy. She and Summit were exchanging ever growing smiles, barely able to stand still against the forces of their joy. Then there was Ren, ever silent, caught between being wary of his new "friend' and being swayed by Katari's ever present friendliness. He himself wasn't terribly fond of this newcomer, but then again he didn't like most strangers. Still, Ren could sense a new sort of feeling between the pair, and it unsettled him more than just a little. "Oh, you have no idea mister. I'm a maniac" She giggled, both at her words and his near trip as he turned away. She enjoyed talking to Summit. Whether it was the empathy the two shared about whatever plagued their pasts, or the carefree tones in which they could converse, Katari didn't have to feel guarded or cautious around him. He was like an instant friend; just add water.

She looked eagerly at his face when he turned back, her eyes reassuring. She had no reason to be worried.It wasn't likely this wolf was anything but good, but even if he wasn't, she always had Ren to back her up. Still, it was nice being in the presence of two others; it erased any caution she had had about this forest. She could skip, or walk with her eyes closed, or even fall asleep here, and she would be completely safe. Perhaps it wasn't wise to assume things and jump to conclusions, but it was such a nice feeling to have that she let herself indulge in the beliefs. It wasn't as if she didn't feel safe when she was only with Ren, but in her mind, there was no such thing as too many friends.

"Of course it's safe, silly." she whispered back, wondering why they were talking in such hushed tones. "Nobody sane would wander through a forest just because." She grinned at his back, her eyes flicking to Ren for just a moment, to make sure he too saw the humor in her words. He sent a secret smile of encouragement back, one that only Katari ever got to see. "The coldest water ever? You better not be wrong, Summit. I'll have to unleash the monster on you." Her words, although bright, were said on a blank face, eyes cast downwards pensively. It wasn't that she wanted to stay in this forest; a nice warm place free of others sounded delightful at the moment. It was the wording in which it was said that got to her. Perhaps she was just over thinking it, but the words 'point you' usually meant that you would be parting ways. She didn't want to part ways with Summit. She knew it was silly of her to think that he would want to join them, but she wanted him to want it. It would be selfish to ask him to abandon his trip, so she remained silent, losing herself in her thoughts.

Words: 500
Ooc: I couldn't get the table to work so I am just gonna save it like this

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He laughed aloud – there was no reason to talk quietly now, as both wolves seemed satisfied that none of the ‘bad guys’ were lurking in the deep, dark woods. I’m a maniac. Yes, Summit had already formed the opinion that this one was probably a little off, but there was nothing dangerous about the energy she exuded now that the topic had changed. Despite his suspicions about the young fae’s tenuous grasp on sanity, he was rather glad that she had decided to follow. ”Oh. It’s a promise. Even in the tall mountains in the north, I have never found a spring quite like this. It’s a special spring.” He spoke of the place as if it were heaven, ethereal, like a tiny slice of Anikira that had gone unnoticed, just waiting to be discovered. Now he had someone to share his secret with.

He had not expected to find company that day, but he was grateful to the spirits or kismet, or whatever it was that brought strangers together. Katari’s personality complimented Summit’s gentle nature. The female’s cheerful character brought an inexplicable sense of relief to him. Combined with the serenity of the Zaor Forest, Summit felt some semblance of contentment – something he had been lacking for well over a year. He was not about to disappoint Katari now if he could help it.

He had a tendency not to notice when he had disappeared into his own little world, surrounded by the trees and the intoxicating smells of the forest, absorbed by the feeling of earth beneath each of his large paws with every step. He was so easily lost in the sounds of the songbirds high above, chirping the melodies of their ancestors, and the way the sun filtered through the treetops in the late afternoon. Summit possessed an appreciation for the natural world that was enduring and powerful, the product of his spiritually inclined natal pack. He had been taught to love the ground, love the trees, the water, everything – everything he could see was part of one larger whole, and without one part of the equation, the others could not exist. Every living creature needed water and sustenance, even the towering trees and the abundance of foliage in the area.

Then, off in the distance, something caught his attention. From the corner of an eye, he saw it, and he gasped aloud. ”Do you see that?” Instantly, his pace quickened as he rushed towards something – a plant he had not seen in a long while, and obviously something he was very excited about. To an outsider, he undoubtedly looked like a lunatic, but he was not the sort who could easily veil whatever it was he was feeling at the time. His mad dash was brief, and he came to a half before a plant growing close to the ground, its blossoms the color of flames. ”Treasure flowers,” he murmured as if he was looking at priceless gems instead of simple flowers.

words: 497
tag: @katari
ooc: here's what he's looking at: flower! / flower again.

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Summit's laugh was obvious in the silent forest, and it was a godsend, pushing back all the darkness that came along with the quiet. It was comforting knowing he was comfortable, dominoes of happiness knocking each other down. "I bet it's magic then" she joked, "With fairies of winter and fish that breath ice." She let a mock shiver run down her spine for effect, as if the mere thought of the cold would freeze her to the spot. She was glad that Summit wanted to share it with her, his ice fairies and winter fish. The mere fact that he was able to be so comfortable around her- and vise versa- made a warm feeling blossom in her chest, spreading throughout her body. She wanted to stay with Summit, to keep feeling the unexplainable emotion rolling through her. It was like how she felt towards Ren, or even Koder, the wolf she had befriended not so long ago. Still, it was different, tweaked, though she couldn't tell what it was that separated Summit from the rest.

Katari was slightly startled at his gasp. She had been pondering too many things at once, and the appearance of actual sound was unexpected, even though she was travelling with two other wolves. "What is it?" she hissed, stepping forward. Ren shadowed her movement, not as startled but still on the alert; ready to protect her from any danger. Katari peeked her head over his wide shoulder, trying to see what it was that had gotten Summit so excited. "Flowers?" she said, disbelieving. They were pretty ones, yes, but she couldn't exactly see their importance."Treasure flowers? What is so special about those? There are plenty of beautiful plants in the forest, if you look." She tilted her head, a silent plea to fill in the gaps of knowledge brought to light by Summit acting like he had just seen a bear hatch from an egg. Althought the forest as a whole wasn't a place she liked to be in, there were the finer points of it. The little details, too pretty to be seen by someone who wasn't looking. When you saw the world from untinted eyes, simple things sprang to life around you. The ordinary vines were not just vines. They were explorers, conquerors of both gravity and the massive trees they loved to live on. The large rocks held stories in their ancient grains, stories of how they came to be, and why they were now seated in the dead light that peaked through the canopy. It was a way of seeing things Katari didn't often share with strangers, or anyone for that matter. Ren knew, but then again, what didn't the two know about each other? Maybe Summit could be taught. He certainly had the creative mind for it. Perhaps he already saw things like she did, but in an odd way, she hoped he didn't. She wanted to teach him. That would mean spending a lot of time together, and it was something that, although she didn't quite know why, she really wished to happen.

Words: 517
Ooc: sorry this took so long <3

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The lithe female at his side carried a light-hearted disposition, infectious and endearing, and the brute found it impossible to erase the smile from his pale muzzle. It had been months since another living soul had welcomed Summit’s presence. He couldn’t remember the last time he had engaged in pleasant conversation with a stranger. She was the opposite of most of the others he had encountered – there was not a drop of pretentiousness in her entire being, no semblance of malice lurking behind her eyes. Katari’s breezy nature seemed to complement Summit’s own easy-going personality, and he felt lighter now as he walked. His posture was relaxed and he walked with a purpose, retracing his steps as if he had been following the same forest path for a lifetime. The fae’s gait matched his own. ”I’ve never seen a fairy. The elders always said that everything possesses a spirit, though. Trees, lakes, springs, everything.” The old beliefs still lurked in the back of his mind, the legends and deities of his ancestors, but as Summit spoke, he realized how strange it probably sounded to a relative stranger.

He peered over his shoulder to see if his new friend had followed him off the trail to admire his discovery. Her soft features were not awe-struck or surprised to see the blossoms. ”Well...” Gazing down at the intricate traces of red and orange decorating the frail petals, Summit paused to consider his words. He lacked the eloquence that his mother had possessed so effortlessly. She had a way of making everything sound so poetic and beautiful. ”This one doesn’t have any healing qualities that I know of, which is sort of weird, because a lot of plants do. Treasure flowers can’t make a sick wolf better or heal any wounds. But that doesn’t mean it’s completely useless. Everything has a reason for existing. It has a reason to be here, even if its purpose is not entirely obvious. It’s more than just a pretty flower.”

”The bright colors attract the attention of the bees, and bees bring new life. Without new life every spring, nothing else will survive. The old plants die in the winter to make room for the next generation.” He stared at the delicate blooms as if he was in a trance, his voice low and soothing as the words rolled off his tongue. The plants came back as the days grew longer, following the arrival of bees. The cycles of nature were as predictable as the setting sun. Thus, the winged insects were revered in Summit’s natal pack – but then, most everything was considered sacred in one way or another. Water sustained life, therefore it was holy. There were herbs that could mend, plants that could destroy, and both were sacred. Femininity produced life, so faes were held in high esteem.

Everyone and every thing had its purpose, or so he was taught. But what did the elders really know? They were all dead now. All the knowledge in the world could not saved them. Summit’s thoughts threatened to drift back to another place and time, but he wouldn’t allow his memories to catch up with him.

words: 528
tags: @katari
ooc: he kind of got philosophical/distracted here. xD

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Had Summit been Ren at that moment, Katari would have launched a full playful assault on his turned back. The mood was light enough, their steps springing gently on the mossy carpet. However, Summit was not Ren, and even the thought of being so close sent a slight lurch in her stomach. It was not that she didn't want to be able for them to push each other around, but she knew from experience that each touch would send ghost pains through her back, images flashing in her mind. It had happened before, when the unknowing Koder had tried to comfort her in a time of darkness. He was like a big brother to her, trusting him entirely, but she had gotten too close. Her mind had whirred with the memories of pain, imagining someone hurting her. Koder hurting her. No, she had to be careful. She didn't want to cause turbulence in the easy nature she and Summit had. Still, she felt that eventually, she would have to face what was in front of her. Summit was... different. Different than any other wolf she had met, and it made him special. What that 'special' entailed however, she still did not know.

"That is a nice way of seeing things" she mused softly, "Although I'm not sure how I would feel about drinking out of a lake when it has a spirit." she giggled. Fairies and all things magic were not talked about in her upbringing, her father and brothers too close minded and shallow to even consider such things. She, on the other hand, toyed with the idea. She imagined forest spirits leading her away from her painful life, into the deep woods where nobody would touch her ever again. As she grew, however, she pushed the fantasies aside. There would be no forest diety to save her; it was something that she had had to do herself.

Her eyes were fixated on the ordinary flower, her head tilted slightly in both amusement and wonder. "If that is the case, shouldn't all flowers be treasured? Even those that poison, or choke the life out of other plants. They pave the way for new life, by destroying the old. By felling an ancient tree, you create a shaft of life into which grow saplings and ground plants. By killing a beast, you feed the earth and it's inhabitants for months as it's body decays into the soil. Both death and life must occur simultaneously. Neither can exist without the other. Harmony." She breathed the last word, barely audible over the soft shushing of the trees. Her mouth had moved on its own, letting her unfiltered thoughts dance through the air, and she looked down, slightly embarrassed. It was not often that she said aloud how she thought the way the world worked, but if anyone would understand, outside of Ren, it would be Summit. He did not have the tinted lens in which so may looked through. He saw things both as they were and as he wanted to see them. Summit was the gentle breeze in the storm that tore at Katari's mind. Summit was special. 

Words: 527
Ooc: Whew. I am glad I didn't try to write this last night it wouldn't have turned out as well. Kat's a bit philosophical as well. XD

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The fae’s tones were as gentle as a breeze. She did not mock Summit’s words, and her soft laughter made him laugh aloud in return. ”It does sound a little funny. You never forget the first time you see someone having a conversation with a rock, or watching someone argue with a cloud.” He had to laugh a little at the recollections from his youth. It had not seemed too unusual, but now that Summit was older, he was left to wonder: Were they all lunatics, hearing voices in the silence? Why couldn’t he converse with the trees? Why did the voices never call out to him as they had spoken to the elders? He had been listening for years, but only the wind offered its quiet response, indistinguishable and distant.

”Every flower is treasured,” he said with a chuckle, eyes flicking back to Katari. ”That’s just what my mother called them. I can’t remember their real name. Garza-something.” Thoughts of his family were inevitably bittersweet – he valued their knowledge and honored their memory, but mentioning them still felt like a kick in the gut.  ”Harmony,” he echoed in a dreamlike tone, ethereal despite the brute’s hulking size and clumsy demeanor. She spoke with the same eloquence of the elders, now lost, and the song was the same – the interconnectedness of all things, and the hidden beauty of life that Summit had been brought up to love and admire. Most males were not impressed with wildflowers, but Summit was not like most males.

His serene gaze was fixed on Katari as she fell silent. It was rather shocking to hear his thoughts voiced by another, especially someone he had only just met that day, though it felt as if he had known her for much longer in that moment. For a lingering minute, the snowy brute seemed at a loss for words, hazel orbs returning to the bright flowers. ”The day can’t exist without the darkness of night. We can’t have summer without first having to survive the winter. Without balance, we’re left with chaos.” 

As if in a trance, Summit looked over the delicate petals, the bright colors mingling together to create something beautiful. No two flowers were ever the same, he knew. He had not expected to find a kindred spirit there in the woods. Life was funny like that sometimes. Still, it was too much to expect for her to stick around for any prolonged period of time. Nothing in life was ever permanent – he had learned this the hard way. Finally, he blinked hard as he remembered the original reason they had come this way. ”Sorry,” he muttered under his breath, hoping that she had not suddenly decided that he was out of his mind. He was not yet ready to say goodbye to Katari.

words: 469
tag: @katari
ooc: sorry for slowness. <3

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Katari nibbled on her tongue, trying to keep the giggles from bubbling through her lips. She could almost imagine the wolves talking to inanimate objects, things that weren't actually there. Perhaps in spirit, but they couldn't talk back, or shift, or have physical expressions. Not like the way she or Ren or Summit could. The fact that she could see Summit taking up such a practice was the icing on the cake, pushing a couple of squeaks through out of her mouth. "That certainly sounds interesting to watch. I wonder how they do it, talk to something that isn't there." her voice was filled with wonder, the hopeless dream of looking into the beyond in which nobody could reach. Katari could almost sympathize with the 'elders'. Perhaps the trees did not talk to her directly, but she could almost imagine the words in which they so wanted to express. The wind blowing gently; wishing for her to have a good day, the gnarled roots and creepers that littered the forest floor; snickering foully in the wishes that she would stumble. Everything spoke, you just had to listen. If not in words than sounds and gentle caresses. The murmur of the ancient trees, discussing the forest in which they ruled over. Their song was sung on the silent groans of the wood, and the soft shushing of their leaves. Even the earth itself spoke; the thump of it's heart the beat in which all living things danced to. She wanted to tell Summit of these thoughts, but could form no words. Any sentences that clung together sounded cliche and rundown in her mind, so she remained silent. It wasn't a big deal anyways, she and Summit almost communicated through silence rather than sound. Just like everything else spoke to them.

Katari's gaze was fixed on Summit as he spoke, her eyes a muddles puddle of hope and joy and everything she had ever wanted. "No..." she breathed, the word coming automatically without thought. She shook her head, looking anywhere but his face. She didn't want to sucked off into the pastel islands of her imagination again. "No." she said more firmly, "Don't be sorry. We both were... well I... it's- it's okay." She laughed lightly at her useless words, glancing to Ren in hopes that he could form a sentence better than she had. He grinned back at her warmly, sending a gentle nudge of comfort her way. "Katari, are you... getting flustered?" he chuckled, the low tones rolling through the forest with ease, yet disturbing no creatures. She cast her eyes downward, hoping to hide the flurry of emotions crossing her face, "Do not be ashamed, I am happy that you have found someone so special. Someone that you can love that is not me."

Katari peeped loudly, her eyes flicking up to glare back at Ren, "Hey!" she hissed playfully, "Don't go jumping to conclusions, mister. I won't tolerate any of your sass today." Really, his words had caused both a spike in her heartbeat, from the possibility of it, and a churning in her stomach, from the knowledge of what would happen if he was right. She knew what the future would hold, the road to the end filled with pain and solitude. She didn't want to hurt Summit, and was worried he wouldn't bother putting up with her once the bumps started appearing. Her admitting any of this to Summit however, was a completely different story. She had really only known him for a short while, but she felt so at home by his side. She couldn't tell what he felt, and didn't want to be cast away should his emotions differ from hers. It was a risky game she was playing, and not one she was sure she would come out on top. She cursed her brain, the patchwork of problems and not quite healed scars making everything a struggle. She wanted to be normal, and she wanted to be happy, but most of all, she just wanted to be lovable.

Words: 675
Ooc: I have so much to say about this post ;_; but I don't know how to say it.

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I wonder how they do it, talk to something that isn’t there. The irony of her words was not lost on Summit, who had almost forgotten about Ren in his sudden outburst of enthusiasm. This time, he knew better than to point out what seemed obvious: that Ren was only a figment of her own mind, and very likely, no one else could see him, or converse with him. Whether Ren was real, or the friendship between the inseparable pair was genuine, was beside the point. That was Katari’s reality, a source of comfort conjured up for her own reasons. He would not rob her of that, even if he could not completely understand it. Summit didn’t know her whole story, yet and while his curiosity was running rampant, he had no desire to make her feel badly again by posing questions about a past that made her uncomfortable. This was much nicer. ”Who’s to say something isn’t there, just because we can’t see it for ourselves?”

While the imagery of an aged wolf interacting with something invisible was amusing, it was never a source of contention for Summit. He had always believed the elders’ assertions about the unseen. Either you had the ability, or you didn’t. His youngest sister was born that way, born with a gift, so in tune with all of the things that surrounded them. She experienced all of the things that Summit could only imagine. The elders themselves were impressed by the young female, but she had not been given the chance to grow and develop those talents. Her life had ebbed away too soon, taken far too young. But still, life went on for the living. Summit knew she was gone, but a part of him still wished to believe that her spirit was still there, somewhere, existing with all of the other things that he wasn’t able to comprehend. Still, on some desolate nights beneath the silent stars, it was difficult even for Summit to cling to the hope that something else was out there.

The brute’s laughter mingled with hers as she stumbled over her words, though he was still a little embarrassed by his rambling, and the sheepish position of his ears and the shyness lurking in his eyes remained. It was hard – he didn’t even know why he had laughed, or why she was laughing, but her moods were infectious as a sneeze and Summit found he couldn’t help himself. He could only guess how long it had been since he had engaged in a carefree conversation. The brute wanted to make her laugh again, to feel her lightness surrounding him like the sweet forest air.  Maybe she could force away all of the dark that weighed both of them down. Instead, the pale brute found himself lost to his wandering thoughts once more. If Katari soon decided to go her own way, the chances of running into her again were slim. If he had slept in that day, or gone east instead, they would never have happened each other in the first place.

The sound of her voice interrupted his meandering mind. Snapping back to attention, a pair of hazel eyes focused on Katari’s golden pools again... Except now, she wasn’t looking at him. Summit realized quickly that Katari wasn’t talking to him anymore, either. The notion of Ren was no longer disconcerting. Summit could learn to live with this. Katari’s gentle aura had an inexplicable and endearing facet, even though Summit realized that something was not quite right – but as he was raised by a clan of wolves that chatted with mountains, her innocent madness was ultimately inconsequential to his desire to know more, and to hear her laughter again.  Somehow, it was easier to forget his own turmoil when he was near a wolf who didn't want to immediately kill or maim him for saying the wrong words, or doing the wrong things.

Twin ears, white as snow, pricked forward with renewed interest as the male’s head tilted slightly to the left. The spring was all but forgotten now. He just had to ask... ”What did he say?  I couldn't hear.”

words: 689
tag: @katari
ooc: because we won the thread otm? ;D

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The idea of spirits in non-living things had always stirred Katari's, imagination, and hearing that an entire pack of wolves had believed it grew her curiosity even more. In her world, back when she had been just a small little pup, life was only black and white. There was no 'maybe'. Either there was food, or you would go hungry. Her family in a bad mood or good. She was the little grey dot in the midst of it all, seeking out others who weren't so bland and mindless. She could see that in Summit; the depth and wanting, the ability to fill his cup to the brim and keep on pouring. She had wished she had met him long ago, back when she was searching for wolves like him. Still, finding such a treasure unexpectedly was just as nice, perhaps even more so. "I suppose you are right. There is no way to prove any one wrong if you have not seen what they have seen. There are always ripples beneath the surface of one's own ocean, we just have to be brave enough to dive in." 

There were certain things in life, little, barely noticeable things, that Katari truly and deeply enjoyed. The way the air smelled just after a thunderstorm, warm breezes on cool days. She was constantly discovering new ones, adding them to the list of warmth and beauty that pulled her through dark times. She realized she had yet another to add; she liked the way their laughs sounded together. It was an orchestra of notes, their tones weaving together into a blanket of harmonious sound. It was different from when she and Ren laughed together, but then again, she had decided to stop comparing him to Ren. They were too different, on two separate pedestals in her mind. Ren's aura was made of love and protection, holding the weight of her pain in his hands when she was too weak to hold it herself. He was painted in browns and blues and blacks, the promises of safety and loyalty etched into his being. Summit was different. He was made of whites and oranges and reds, pulling her out of her trenches into the light of a new brilliance. She wanted to stay in this wonderful world that had grown around her; Ren the steady earth beneath her feet, Summit the sky that she could reach out to.

Katari's gaze flicked back to Summit, her attention drawn away from the smug looking Ren. Only when she realized what he had asked did her gaze leave his face, favoring the unresponsive ground between her feet. Was he teasing her, trying to get her to repeat the words for herself? Or did he truly not hear? She wasn't sure, but she was pretty certain Summit was not the type to taunt, "He just..." she drawled, becoming flustered again, "He said that you are special... and.. uh... lovable" Ren snickered behind her, playful now that he had warmed to Summit's presence. She briefly made a mental note to wrestle an apology out of him later, but for now, her mind couldn't escape the moment. She felt small between their gazes, a shadow of her formal self, but pushed the thought aside. Why should she worry, when she had Ren at her back and Summit before her? It was here that she should feel safest, far from the grasps of death and sorrow. Wherever she went, she wanted to feel like she did at this moment. She wanted to feel like she was home.

Words:595
Ooc: YAY that actually makes me so happy <3 I didn't see it until right before I wrote this

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”He does?” Summit was genuinely surprised to hear the sentiments of the ever-silent Ren voiced aloud, and he cast a skeptical glance in the direction the other brute should have been standing. Lovable. It had been a long while since someone expressed fondness for him – even if that someone was invisible, it caught Summit off-guard like a kick in the gut. It was hard enough just to make friends around Anikira. In a world where brutes took what they could get at any cost and violence was valued as a skill, Summit was the proverbial black sheep. Love was something he had known once. A parent loved their child – or at least, they were supposed to. Even if no one else cared for a wolf, their mother or father was meant to cherish their young. Those familial bonds had been shattered. For Katari, he suspected, they had never existed in the first place.  The very thought was upsetting to the sensitive soul.  Summit tried not to think about his own losses and the affection that had died along with his kin. Still, deep down, Summit knew that he was fortunate for his warm upbringing.

Hazel eyes were fixed upon the flowers once more, staring hard at the blossoms that were as vivid as the summer before it fades away. Everything that was alive had only so many trips around the sun, and they only lived once. As soon as the winter came, the flowers would shrivel up, wilting each delicate petal before the falling snow and frigid temperatures claimed them as victims. Summit liked the snow – he was made for it, with his shaggy, impossibly thick almost-white pelt – but the promise of winter was always a concern. It seemed as if there was never enough food around to hunt once the cold set in. While he wasn’t terribly concerned for his own well being, his mind drifted to the idea of the lightweight female left to survive in the freezing nights, with only an invisible hunting partner to keep her warm and safe.

Then it occurred to the brute that he was thinking too much about what happened after that shared moment, when they both said their goodbyes and followed their own paths, separately. She would go on with her life, and Summit would do the same, almost as if they had never even met. Katari had her own life to worry about. It wasn’t really Summit’s concern. But why did it matter so much to him now?

He recovered from his lapse of clarity with a jolt, quickly realizing that a minute had passed between them in utter silence as he stared blankly at the blooms. It was his turn to say something. She was waiting for him to say something. The male’s jaws parted as if it to speak, but his brows furrowed in confusion as he remembered – well, not much, but the word lovable ruminated within his skull. Another characteristic Summit smile, uncertain and a little embarrassed, spread across his snowy visage as an awkward laugh escaped a second before he could suppress it. ”Wait. What were we talking about?”

Clearing his throat with a gruff noise that seemed to startled even Summit in the forest’s quiet repose, the ivory brute turned away from the female and the bright flowers. He breathed in all the smells surrounding him – the smell of evergreens and moss, wet earth and the changing of seasons, the delicate scent of Katari. He knew he had to keep moving, but a growing part of him just wanted to stay there in the deep forest. The afternoon sunlight danced through the branches and a light wind rustled the leaves, their vivid colors dazzling. Summit shook his head as he tried to clear away all of the thoughts in his brain that threatened to distract him once again. ”Oh yeah. Water. It shouldn’t be too far from here, I recognize some of the trees. They like to grow around where the water is hiding beneath the surface.  A promise is a promise, right?”

He would take her to the cold spring, and then... Well, Summit wasn’t exactly sure what came next, and the thought of asking her to stick around made him inexplicably nervous – so much so that the hefty brute tripped over his enormous paws as soon as he began to step away. In a fumbling disarray of ivory fur, a cloud of dust, and dried leaves, the arctic wolf went tumbling several feet forward, head over paws, before landing squarely on his muzzle in an awkward, messy pile.

words: 764
tags: @katari
ooc: I couldn't stop writing this,
I had it all pictured in my mind. ;X