If I could hold back the [Rain] would you numb the pain?

[Deleted]

This is how it feels when

you’re bent and broken

He doesn’t know why he did it. He just did. Looking back now he felt really bad. It was all a blur for him, there was so much going on in his mind. He panicked and he just ran. He still thought about it every once in a while. About her. It had been about a week since he left her alone sleeping in the cave with a wound. He was horrible. How could he do something like that? He didn’t even tell her goodbye or see if she was okay or nothing. He couldn’t bring himself to go back there, he just felt foolish. It was probably better this way anyway. That was a fleeting moment and it was no more. Koder made himself way down the beach, feeling the nice cool breeze on the warm day. It was quiet and sincere; the only sounds were the waves crashing on the shore and the seagulls hovering above the cool waters. Even though the land was quiet and it was a beautiful day, he couldn’t keep calm.

He wondered if he would ever see her again? He wanted to apologize for his behavior, but it was probably unforgivable. He would understand if she hated him and never wanted to see him again. His mind just snapped and honestly he couldn’t really recall what exactly had happened the morning that he woke up. He wished he could remember. It was as if something snapped and overcame him and the next thing he knew he was running away. Even when he came to his senses, he didn’t go back. He sighed as he made his way along the shore of the beach, enjoying the cold water on his paws. He was such an idiot and a fool. He wasn’t one to act that way. Actually, that was the first time where he sort of blacked out to the events. It wasn’t as if anything was going on between them, they were just barley acquaintances, let alone anything else.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled under his breath.

TAG: Rain	WORDS: 343	BIO: link
NOTES: <3 <3

Template by Melz/mizlopez89 @adoxography and Caution2.0

[Rain]

A week. A week had passed since she had met him, and she was already mad at him, and very annoyed. Why did he leave her wounded in the cave alone? Rain's mind was blurred with thoughts and possibilities for his behavior, but only one dominated her mind: was he okay? Was there a more serious reason for his disappearance, or was it just because he didn't care enough for her? As she walked in the sunny day that reigned in Anikira, she began to walk into crystalline sands and mild-tempered waters. She began to exit her thoughts and observe her surroundings in hopes of finding him. Before she knew it, she had entered in Endyt Beach. A sudden flashback hit her hard--this is where Xion and her had the encounter that changed her life. What if she was still lurking around? Her ears were fully perked, scanning the area around her in hopes of finding Koder, and in hopes of not finding the black menace known as Xion. 

Her legs moved her in a fair pace, until they reached to a sudden halt. A familiar scent entered her nostrils, making her eyes glitter in joy and her tail wag. "Koder?" Whispering his name so softly seemed like a dream, but she quickly shook her head in an attempt of clearing her mind. Why was she thinking this way? She had met the guy for a day, and he was already the main focus of her brain. What was wrong with her? It was just that she felt a connection with him, and even if he didn't, she would treasure this feeling forever. She has never been in love before, and she wasn't now, but thinking about how close they were in that cave made her body warm and her heart fluttered with joy. She had no idea what this was, but she liked how it felt, so she just went along with it.

Walking towards the source of the scent, she found a familiar figure in the beach, standing alone. He looked lost in thought, so Rain thought that it must be him. His sight made her heart start pounding hard and fast, and her legs began to shake in anticipation of how everything would play out. She was questioning herself, and how she would present herself to him. Would she be mad, or just worried? She had no idea, but she prepared for the worst. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to Koder, and stood a few feet apart from him. Sighing, she gained the courage to speak. "Hey," she said weakly, "I... I was worried about you." Frowning, she lowered her ears a little bit to make her point on how she felt. Bracing herself for any harsh reality, she hoped for the best.

OOC// @koder Sorry I took so long. ;w; I've been sick with my stupid neuropathy thing. it's getting worse. :< but I hope you like my reply!!
WORDS// 474

[Deleted]

This is how it feels when

you’re bent and broken

Koder stopped in his tracks when a familiar scent filled his nostrils. Rain, he thought to himself. What was he going to do? Should he just run away and avoid running into her? No, he couldn’t do that. She probably already knew that he was there. He already ran out on her once, could he really do that again? He did want to apologize to her, even though he believed it was useless. What kind of explanation could he give her when he didn’t even know himself? He couldn’t move, he didn’t even turn around when he sensed that she was right behind him. Part of him wished that she would just walk away and not say anything. His stomach was in a knot and he could swear that she could hear his heart pounding in his chest. He didn’t want to face her after what he had done. It was unforgivable. It was horrible…it was…

He froze when he heard her speak. It was a soft tone, not angry. What she said even surprised him more. She was worried about…him? He slowly turned his head and body to face her. He was so shocked that he lost any words to say. Why would she be worried about him? He was the one that was worried about her. She was the one that got hurt and he was the one that left. She had every right to be angry at him, but instead she was worried? “I well…” he stumbled over his words. He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to say. “I was the one that was worried,” he finally admitted. He didn’t have any right to worry though; he was the one that left her there. He was glad that she was okay though. He often worried if something bad had happened to her, how could he live with himself then? He wouldn’t be able too, it was a relief almost to see her there, but he was very anxious and nervous as well. He felt like she was going to go off on him at any second.

TAG: Rain	WORDS: 351	BIO: link
NOTES:

Template by Melz/mizlopez89 @adoxography and Caution2.0

[Rain]

He was worried about her?

She was really shocked now. A look of confusion suddenly flashed by her face, but she then regained her formal concerned expression as quick as it came. Rain's sight began to lower to the floor and she got lost in thought for a moment. She began questioning him in her mind. Why did he leave if he was so worried, then? What if another wolf took advantage of her wounded state in that moment he left? Did he not care for her safety? Most importantly, why in the world did he leave? Her head began to scream at him, but her body was somewhat hunched, tail low and her ears were lowered closely, hiding any sign of any other emotion rather than preoccupation and concern. Whimpering softly under her breath, she looked at his eyes softly. "...Why did you leave?" Her head lowered, hoping to maintain a stance that signaled Koder that she was not mad, even if she was. Her mind was more worried about him than about what he did, however, so her body reflected her state of mind.

Her eyes lowered at the thought that she may have done something that made him uncomfortable. Was it something she said? Was it something she did? Rain's head began to attack her with guilt and remorse. She whimpered softly and whispered under her breath, "Did I do something wrong? I... I'm sorry." Her eyes began to feel that tingling sensation that one can feel when tears are about to burst out, but she controlled herself by closing her eyes and sighing deeply. She did not want him to feel uncomfortable and run out on her again. Rain's body was still, and the tension that she felt in the air was so big that she did not want to sit down. Taking in a deep breath, she waited for Koder's explanation to his actions.

OOC// @koder  <3
WORDS// 324

[Deleted]

Koder knew that she would eventually ask him that dreadful question, but he wasn’t expecting it so suddenly. He turned his head and looked away from her. What was he supposed to say? If he told her the truth, she wouldn’t believe him. If he made up something, than she would probably not be satisfied and be angry at him. He let out a sigh as the emotions ran through his mind trying to figure out what to say and what to do. He turned his gaze slowly back to Rain, but was unable to say anything. He just stood there dumbfounded. Think Koder, you have to tell her something…But the words escaped him and left him speechless. He felt bad, she deserved to know the truth, she deserved to have some answers on why he just left like that and that was probably the hardest thing ever…is that he didn’t have the answers that she was seeking.

His eyes grew wide and he took a step back when she apologized. APOLOGIZED! For what? Did she honestly think she did something wrong? That wasn’t the case at all. Damnit, he was an idiot. This whole time he was worried about what to tell her and the whole time he should have just been honest right the from the get go. Instead he was stepping around and was trying to think of other reasons to justify his actions, but the truth was there wasn’t any. And in the end he only caused her more confusion and anguish as she tried to figure out herself why he left without notice.

“Rain…” he finally spoke slowly, shaking his head, “you-you didn’t do anything wrong. So please…don’t apologize. I guess I’m just a coward who ran away. I’m the one who owes you an apology, even though what I did isn’t redeemable. I am sorry.”

“I really am,” he said as he lowered his shoulders slightly, his words were of pure honesty. He really was beating himself over it.


Tag: Rain
Words: 335
Notes: Poor Koder <3

[Rain]

He was not saying anything.

He was just... there. His mind was apparently somewhere else, and the silence that Koder was giving was beginning to work its way inside Rain's mind. There was something he was hiding. She knew that he would obviously hide things from her, because they did not know each other that well. But for some reason, she needed explanations. She needed to know why this ebony male was reacting to her the way he was reacting. Her mind began to demand answers to all these questions that were bubbling in her mind, but she was quiet and still on the outside. When she apologized, his eyes widened and took a step back from apparent shock. 

“Rain… you-you didn’t do anything wrong. So please…don’t apologize. I guess I’m just a coward who ran away. I’m the one who owes you an apology, even though what I did isn’t redeemable. I am sorry. I really am.” Rain's sight drifted to her paws, and the tension she had on her body began to go away. His guilt was even tangible in his voice, making Rain rethink everything she had thought about Koder. There must be something far beyond what she could see that was troubling him, and she was determined to help him out. Walking closer to Koder so that they were face to face, she looked at him, trying to have eye contact with him. "I forgive you," she began, "because I know that the reason you may have had for running away must be either very valid or very much troubling you," still looking at his sun-touched eyes, she added, "so please, trust me if you need to vent or talk about anything, Koder. I can only return to you the same kindness you have shown to me in my time of need." 

Smiling at the male, she walked a few steps so she could be sitting down looking at the ocean. Inviting Koder to sit next to her by motioning with her head, she sighed and looked at the ocean. She began to think about the ocean and the mysteries it held. Some animals lived successfully under water, and some died in the turbulent storms. It could be shallow so you could see your own paws, or so deep that one could only fear the darkness of the abyss. Looking at Koder, she wanted to be like water for him. Warm, cleansing water that could wash away his worries and throw them away to the dark abyss of the ocean. 

Looking once again at Koder, she began to speak in hopes of making him let everything out. "If you need to talk, I'm all ears. Your secrets are safe with me."


OOC;; @koder I hope you like my reply! <3
words;; 466

[Deleted]

“You…you forgive me?” Koder seemed surprised by her words. He didn’t understand. How could she forgive him that easily? What he did wasn’t something that could be easily swept away like that. He was at a loss of words. He was confused. He just stood there and looked at her. When she said that he could talk to her, he didn’t say anything at first. There was no way that he could. What was he supposed to say? His past was irrelevant what was going on now (or at least that’s what he believed). “This is more kindness that I deserve or what I had given you. I have done nothing that is considered worthy.” He told her. It was true. Regardless if his reason was considered good enough or not, he still left her when she was hurt without saying a word. He was still a coward. Even if she forgave him so easily, he couldn’t forgive himself. He watched her as she began to walk away and sat down closer to the water. When she motioned her head for him to come over and sit down, Koder was hesitant. But, he finally nodded his head as he walked over and sat down next to her. Watching the ocean in silence.

“I’ll remember that,” Koder said when she said that he could talk to her whenever he wanted too. He did feel safe around her that was something that hadn’t changed from their first meeting. However, even though he felt comfortable around her that was something he couldn’t speak of. It was much too complicated and he hated to even think about the past. It was just too painful. Plus, it would be boring and pointless to bring it up to Rain. It wasn’t like she was his friend or anything…he turned and looked at her. Friend didn’t seem like the quite right word, but they also weren’t strangers. What exactly what were they? Just mere acquaintances? That just didn’t feel right either. He sighed. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to say anymore. He watched the water in silence before he finally turned and looked back at her once more.

“So umm…how is your leg doing?” He asked, not sure if he should even ask that considering everything that had happened.

Tag: Rain
Words: 385
OOC: Sorry it's kind of crappy x.x

[Rain]

Koder's dumbfouded expression as he replied made her feel worried about him. He may have had a sad past, making him so vulnerable at these types of events. He was really shocked for some reason. What he had done had made Rain somewhat mad, but she couldn't hold a grudge against him for some reason. There was something so, so likable about Koder that she couldn't stay mad with him. She was even shocked at this realization, but her demeanor was calm and collected as always, letting Koder know that she had truly forgiven him. He said to her something that shocked her truly.  “This is more kindness that I deserve or what I had given you. I have done nothing that is considered worthy.”

Looking at him straight to his eyes, a tender but firm tone began to tie in her words. "Don't say that you do not deserve kindness. Everyone deserves kindness, because everyone needs to see something that makes them regain their hope in this world," she made a short pause and then continued, "and you have shown me kindness by taking care of me in my time of need. Whatever was the reason behind your departure, I will always have your act of kindness in my heart." Rain spoke softly, trying to deliver her message to Koder in the nicest way possible. He was not unworthy, no matter what he had done. He was a beautiful soul in Rain's eyes, even if she had just seen a glimpse of it.

After sitting down facing the beach, Koder asked Rain about her leg. She looked at it for a brief moment and saw the dark scar that had begun to grow fur. "It doesn't hurt anymore; I went and searched for some healing plants to accelerate the process, and cleaned it regularly in the river. It has healed pretty well. All there is left behind is this scar... but like you said... it's a battle scar, so I don't mind it," she smiled at Koder warmly, making a soft wink and looking back at the ocean. 

"And you?" she asked afterwards, "how have you been this week?"

OOC;; @koder I hope you like my reply ;w; <3

words;; 368

[Deleted]

Koder just stared in Rain in disbelief. Her words really touched him, probably deeper than she could ever begin to understand. He couldn’t understand how she could be treating him this kindly and saying such words. He didn’t believe he deserved any type of kindness. He had many sins and he was just reaping what he sowed. This was his curse for what he did all those years ago. It had taken away his mate and left him cold. Yet, Rain was like the morning rays on a cold bitter night. Every word shot through him and it took everything he had to remain calm and collected, but it was getting hard for him to control. He was just glad that she couldn’t see his struggle as he was looking away from her. It was getting harder for him to breath. It almost reminded him of that night he left Rain alone in the cave. It was slowly beginning to make sense, but he pushed it away before he could even grasp of what really was going on. He turned his attention back toward Rain when she answered on how her leg was doing.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” he said with a sigh of relief. That is what he was worrying about. He was scared it would get an infection and that something bad would have happened to her. “Scar or no scar, it doesn’t change your beauty.” The words escaped him before he could speak, but he wasn’t the bashful type so he just cleared his throat and continued on. “This week…I really haven’t done much of anything.” Worry about you, he thought to himself, but he couldn’t say that. “Just been roaming around. The same way it has been for the past six months since Wa—“he caught himself that time. Why did those words almost blurt from his mouth? Since Wail’s death. He was getting comfortable again. The previous week’s events flashed through his mind and he shook the memories away. No. He had to remain control of his emotions. This wasn’t the time to act weak. “Since my brother left.” He tried to make up for his slip up.

“I’m used to being alone,” he said almost to himself, but loud enough for Rain to hear. But for some reason, it felt much lonelier in the past week then he had felt in a long time. He wondered why that was.

Tag: Rain
Words: 402
OOC:: I hope it made you melt ;) <3

[Rain]

Rain smiled at Koder when he said that he was glad that she was okay. She was beginning to feel a certain warmth when she talked with him, the way that he seemed truly concerned with her made her blush too often. However, her thoughts and body became even more flustered when he spoke again. “Scar or no scar, it doesn’t change your beauty.” His comment made her smile and lower her head a little bit, feeling how her face was much hotter than usual. "...Thank you," she said shyly and sweetly; shortly after, she regained her composure. What the heck was wrong with her? Even if she trusted Koder, he was still a stranger... but for some reason, she couldn't think of him that way. There was something that connected her to him in a way that confused her deeply. 

He began to speak again, saying that he had not been doing much in response to her question. Something called her attention, though, at the moment of an abrupt stop. He was about to mention a name, and for some reason, he stopped before saying it completely. Even if her curious nature was taking over her mind, she decided not to ask anything that could make him uncomfortable. He then mentioned his brother in replacement of what he was going to say. However, he then said that he was used to being alone.

"I'm sorry..." she replied, making a short pause before speaking again. "...I really like your company, you know." She placed a paw on top his own paw softly as a way of reassurance, and then removed it quickly, so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable or anything else. She moved her head to focus on Koder's face. She frowned a little bit and sighed. Why was this male so complex and filled with mysteries that made Rain as curious and intrigued as ever? Quickly wiping that frown away and replacing it with a soft, neutral expression, she looked back at the ocean, as a beautiful sunset had started to appear. The seagulls made their peculiar sound and began looking for refuge for the night, and the tides began to get closer and closer to them. The sky began to get filled with beautiful shades of orange, red, pink, yellow and blue. 

"It's beautiful," Rain said in almost a whisper, but still loud enough for Koder to hear. She loved to see how beautiful nature was, and she had grown to appreciate every detail of it. From the mightiest of wolves, to the most delicate flower, nature had a perfect balance that Rain admired. Looking at Koder, she smiled warmly. "The tides are coming in, and it's getting dark... what should we do?" she said, hoping to hear from him what they would do next. 

ooc;; @koder I hope you liked it ;w; <3 How should we finish the thread? Any ideas? :3
words;; 474

[Deleted]

Koder stared at the sunset intently; the colors danced across the skies, red, oranges and yellow stretched across the sky as the sun began to sink lower beyond the ocean. Koder turned his head over to Rain and smiled. It was a peaceful day indeed. He was glad that she had forgiven him. He turned his attention back to the ocean. I sure was beautiful. Sceneries like this is what made him want to travel in the first place. A pack stayed in one area for their life, but he was given the chance to roam around to see different areas though. He was slowly getting tired of it though. He didn’t realize how much he hated being alone, until he met Rain. He peeked over at her again, it was like he was under her spell, but he wondered why? Why did he enjoy her presence so much? Why did she make him feel this way?

"The tides are coming in, and it's getting dark... what should we do?

Her words cut him deep as he thought about what happened last time. What was he supposed to say? What did she want him to say? That they would spend the night together…or go their separate ways? His mind was spinning as he was trying to figure out exactly what Rain was trying to imply? He didn’t understand. No, he didn’t want to understand what was going on. Koder turned and looked at Rain. What was she going with this? It seemed like she was trying to make small talk, but at the same time…it felt like something more. Ugh! This was driving him like crazy.

“Koder.”

Koder froze. A familiar – but haunting voice flew through the wind. He turned and looked around. But, there was no one else but him and Rain and she didn’t say anything. Who was that?

“Koder…”

Who was that? He was beginning to freak out…but then an image of a white wolf with kind eyes came into his mind.

Wail…He thought to himself as he felt the blood drain from his body.

“Koder.”

Why was he hearing her voice? He looked and for a second thought he saw her, but she was swept away with the wind. Wail. She was gone. She wasn’t here anymore. But, she was once here. She was right next to him. She talked to him, she loved him, she was…she was the mother of his unborn children. He loved her so much…and just like a light she was out. Gone from this world. It was too painful to think about. He turned to look at Rain. No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t fall into this trap. He couldn’t do this…no…

“I’m sorry Rain…” Koder finally spoke in a strain voice. “I have to go…now…I-I just can’t. She was…I loved her….so this…can’t happen. I’m sorry.”

With that Koder got up, shaking his head and repeating “I’m sorry” before turning around and running off.

Tag: Rain
Words: 494
OOC:: dun dun dun <3

[Rain]

He was quiet again. Rain began to feel panicked--why wasn't he speaking? Why was he tense out of nowhere? Did she say something that made him uncomfortable? She just wanted to know what he wanted to do, because the day was getting darker. She wasn't implying anything that he didn't want to do. But Koder was quiet, and it felt like a stone wall had been lifted between them, separating them instantly. There was something going on in his mind, that she didn't know about. Rain whispered his name softly, tying in his name an interrogative tone that she hoped he could hear. However, the black wolf next to her was looking at something in the distance, and he seemed to be terrified or anguished by it.

“I’m sorry Rain… I have to go…now…I-I just can’t. She was…I loved her….so this…can’t happen. I’m sorry.”

Rain's eyes widened, but before she could say anything, he had vanished, leaving Rain alone in the beach. She was shocked. She had no idea what he was talking about or why he had reacted like that. Who was this female he spoke of? And... what did he mean when he said that this couldn't happen? Rain's eyes began to get teary, but she tried to hold in her confusion and anger. She was left alone again. First when they were in the den, and now here. She didn't understand anything at all--and the confusion was far too severe right now, and it gave her a really big headache. Her heart began to pound fast, and the tears began to stream down her face. What did she do? What did she say? She wanted to help him, but she had no idea how. She had no idea why she felt like this. After all, they met each other not too long ago. 

With her head low and in a stance of defeat and heartbreak, she lifted her body and slowly walked away from the beach, almost dragging her legs as she walked. Her head screamed a thousand questions, but there was one that screamed the loudest in her mind... Would she ever see him again? Walking away from Endyt Beach, she began to look for a shelter before the dusk turned into night. Finding a tree with a den under the roots, she dug it out a little bit more to make it more spacious, and entered slowly. Turning her body into a ball, she began to feel that ominous silence that the night always carried. However, the silence became her only company. Closing her swollen, red, tear-filled eyes, she drifted away into the world of dreams, where maybe these dreams would be far more beautiful than her current reality...

THE END

ooc;; @koder <33 
words;; 474