Ain't no thinking thing

[Deleted]

Wildheart woke with a start and he looked around. He licked his lips with pink tongue and slowly got himself to his feet. As he stood his bones cracked and his limbs hurt, but he stretched regardless. Shifting his weight he stood allowing the life to come back in his limbs from laying on the ground the night before. He lifted grizzled black head and looked around with green eyes. He noticed Zenzi's sleeping form and he smiled to himself. She was beautiful even in sleep, and he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have gotten her to love him.

Not for the first and not for the last his mind wondered to their children. Jace and Vienna, he wondered how they were doing. And he hoped whatever they were doing and where they were they were together. They had been close as children, until Jace had lost his cool and hurt her. Wildheart had never forgiven himself, and his son had never forgiven himself. They were as alike as two peas in a pod and sometimes it made him smile. Other times it made him rue the day, his poor son, cursed like him. He sighed his breath frosty in the air, and he lowered his gaze to the ground, frost sticking to the small, sparse plant life that managed to somehow fight for life.

That's where he and Zenzi were now. They were fighting for life, and he knew it was hard on his beautiful starshine. Harder than he could ever imagine it being on him. He went with the punches, his beautiful Zenzi she did not handle change well. He shuffled over towards her and nuzzled her gently, hopefully she would wake and they could continue to look around. He had not met any packs yet, but he hadn't really been looking. He longed for home, and to say he didn't would be a lie. He knew he would probably never see Wintersun, or Jazz or Roheryn again, but it didn't keep him from longing for it. Longing for it so hard it almost hurt.

[Deleted]

The dark female paced aimlessly in front of her den. She took advantage of her pups being off playing with another wolf to let out her overwhelming anxiety. Wildheart had been due back from his scouting mission almost a week ago. She had expressed her concerns with Jazz, but he had et to form a search party. Finally, she allowed herself to give into her emotions.

Zenzi knew where her children had run off to; they always played in the same spot by the small stream that flowed through the territory. She could smell the two young wolves before she could see them. As the ebony femme came out into the clearing, she saw Jace and Vienna wresting at the water's edge. She gave the siblings a small yip as she approached to get their attention. When the gentle sound hit their ears, the play-fighting stopped immediately.

"Hi, Mama!" Vienna's sing-song voice was cheerful as always as the grey pup bounced over.

"Hello, my little songbird." Zenzi nuzzled her daughter before Jace broke in, forcing his small head between the females'. "Hello to you, too, Jace." She laughed a little and gave the black pup a nuzzle as well.

"Mom, are you okay? You look sad." Jace's blue eyes met her yellow ones.

"Yes, my love. I just have a little sad news. Your daddy needs some help, and Jazz wants me to go." She lowered herself to a slight crouch so she was at their level.

"You won't be gone long, right?" Poor Vienna looked terrified. Zenzi met her gaze softly. She hadn't realized that her puppy blue eyes were already changing into their adult color. Pops grow up so fast, how could she forget to slow down? Seeing he green in her daughter's eyes almost killed her inside; they would be just like her mate's eyes.

"I won't be gone long. I promise. Daddy and I will be back really soon. Until then, though, you two will be staying with Uncle Einarr. Solia and Colin will be with you, too, so you won't be too lonely. Be good, okay?"

"Okay!" The two pups responded together She smiled softly at them and licked each on the grown of the head in turn.

"I need to go now. I will see you soon." Zenzi heard them holler farewells before returning to their game.

Outside of her dream, Zenzi's closed eyes tightened, and her muscles began to tense. Although she was asleep, her mind and body knew what would come next. This was not the first time she had had this dream since arriving in Anikira.

Zenzi had already been away from Wintersun for three days, still with no sign of Wildheart. She paused, one paw still half raised in her stride. She turned her burning yellow eyes back towards the territory before raising her muzzle to the cloud-filled sky. The femme howled, her call mournful as she begged her mate to reply. After a few moments, she let her voice fade away, listening for a response.

A noise did come back to her, but it was certainly not from a wolf, or any animal at that. She heard a series of bands and buffeting in the air. Her eyes grew wide and she twisted and turned wildly, trying to figure out what the sound was. When she turned around, there was a large thing flying in the air; two-legged creatures hanging out of it. One of them was holding a stick that released a puff of smoke with each bang.

Zenzi flattened her ears against her skull and tucked her tail between her legs. She started to run, but was unable to go very far. There was another bang, soon followed by a prick in her shoulder. Almost instantly she grew tired, falling to the ground. As her vision started to fade, she saw the giant sky beast hover over her, dropping silver bars around her.

At this point in her dream, she felt the gentle nuzzle of her mate. It pulled her panicked mind from the images, waking her. She opened her eyes, meeting Wildheart's gaze. Her yellow orbs showed her sadness, her fear, and her longing to go home. After a few moments of staring into his green eyes, Zenzi blinked hard and shook herself, wishing to force the memories away.

She stood only momentarily and only to move closer to the comforting warmth of her love's pelt. While the winter was far more mild and tolerable than she was used to, it was still hard for lone wolves. They would continue to struggle the way they had been if they did not find a pack soon. Unfortunately, they had not exactly been looking for them, fearing the wolves who lived here before them.

[Deleted]

Wildheart watched as Zenzi ran from something in her dreams. He sighed it was like this all the time lately. She was dreaming horrible, terrible dreams and there was nothing he could do for her. He couldn't fight the demons in her dreams, unless she dreamed him too. It upset him greatly that he had gotten her in this mess. If he had been more vigilant, perhaps he wouldn't have been missing and she wouldn't have followed him. She had left their children, their home, for him. That alone was want to cause his heart to tighten in his chest. He loved her so much it hurt sometimes. 

Wildheart breathed a sigh of relief when her yellow eyes, met his green ones. He offered her a small crooked smile, so much like his sons. His heart began to pound, when she said nothing just stared at him. He was a little worried about that, he didn't want her to go into herself. If she did that he feared very deeply, that she would be lost to him. He knew it was partially his fault, he should have found a pack before this. He had smelled a few, he was a scout, one of the best. He just couldn't get past the hang up that it wasn't home.

Are you okay StarShine? How can I help? What can I do to fix this? I'm so sorry you have to go through this. He bowed his head in thought. He was upset and she was upset and he couldn't fix it. Her unrest and depression, was largely what was wrong with him. He lifted his nose up and sniffed looking around. He could probably find a pack if he looked. He studied her and then looked down at himself. He brought her food whenever he could. It was winter though and it was scarce. He was looking pinched lately.

[Deleted]

The ebony femme allowed her head to rest delicately on the shoulder of the warrior she called her mate. She loved him dearly, and it was times like this when she was glad they both ended up on the island together. It must have been some miracle that they had been captured together. She could feel herself being pulled into her thoughts, somewhere she was finding security, but at Wildheart's expense. She knew that it caused him great worry when she got like that. Thankfully his voice pulled her back before she found herself in too deep. She turned her gaze back towards his as he spoke, his voice almost sounding as though he was pleading to let him help her in some way.

She moved her head so it was beneath his powerful jaw, hoping to send reassurance through him. Yes, she has been an emotional wreck and been completely out of it, but that didn't mean she liked seeing her mate this way. "I'm ok, my love. Some memories were just coming back in my dreams. You don't need to worry." Zenzi punctuated her comment by giving Wildheart a soft lick on his scarred shoulder. As she did this, she felt her growing hunger rise to the surface, her stomach growling as it did so. She sighed a little, before saying a little more. "I guess I'm just a bit hungry, is all." She closed her eyes, her stomach growling again.

It didn't matter how long they had been here, or even that they were together. She missed having a pack to call her family and friends. Somewhere she could truly call her home. On top of it all, she almost wanted to have another litter of pups with her mate, not to replace the two she left, but to extend their family. She knew, though, that as loners, they wouldn't stand a chance with pups. They could barely take care of themselves as it was. "Wildheart, I miss being in a pack. Having others around to call my friends and even family, it just isn't the same without them. I know we will probably never get back to Wintersun... but who's to say we can't find a new one..." Her voice trailed off slightly after she mentioned the name of the pack. Her heart ached, and she felt like she was going to cry.

[Deleted]

Wildheart did not move as she rested her head on his shoulder. He smiled down at her and placed a soft nuzzle to her head. He licked her ears gently, calming himself and her with gentle preening. It had been nothing short of miraculous fate that had caused them to be on this island together. However, he could not calm the unrest that bubbled deep within in his guts. The simple fact came down to this was his fault. Had he not gone scouting, she wouldn't have felt the need to find him. And she would be back in Wintersun with their family and friends and the tears that lit her eyes would not be present.

She moved her head to push against his muzzle. He didn't move, but rather he listened. The vibrations traveling up his muzzle and into his throat and chest. It felt like home, where she was he was home. I worry all the time Starshine He listened to her stomach growling and he sighed. He looked around and shifted, placing his nose to the ground. He scented for any type of game to feed her. He'd even brave a pack's cache if he had too, but she would have sustenance. I'll get you something Star Shine. I'll just have to find it.

He held an ear back towards her, listening as she spoke and searched near them for food. He stopped moving for a moment and swung green gaze towards her. He listened and tilted his head forward and looked at the ground for a moment. Very well you are right. We will start looking today for a new pack. He gave her a small smile and waited to see if that would be agreeable to her. He didn't mind looking for a pack, it hurt a bit, but he was willing to look past that for her.