Sanctuary [eudoxia]

[requiem]

He was unsure how long they had been walking, but the sun still hadn't fully set yet. The sky was growing darker, but the hints of reds and oranges still glowed over the landscape. It was at least late evening, and the snow had given way to sand and water. Unsure of what to do next, Requiem paced back and forth on the sands of the beach for several minutes. In the distance, not far from the coast a small island could be seemed. It looked warm and inviting, like an oasis in the desert.

Unfortunately, the island presented a bit of a challenge. It was sure to be safer than the mainland but they would have to swim to get to it. He didn't know how deep the water between Ina'mos Island and Anikira was, and with the winter air it would take a while for their pelts to dry. The last thing Requiem wanted was to catch a chill, and he wouldn't forgive himself if Eudoxia ended up sick. Still, his flight mechanism was telling him that that island was the safest place they could be at the moment. It was new, unexplored territory. He doubted many had bothered to travers its terrain yet, and the pair would definately be able to breath easier in a land untouched by others.

Stealing a glance at Eudoxia, he finally made up his mind. Chancing the icy waters was better than remaining on the mainland. The island wasn't that far, and maybe they could find some sort of unusually warm area that would dry them off sooner. Taking a deep breath, the Arctic brute steeled his nerves as he charged head first into the sea. A shocked growl rumbled from his throat at the unexpected temperature and he couldn't help but shiver. The waters were chilly upon impact. He couldn't slow, however, and continued to push forward. The longer he was in the water, the less the temperature really bothered him. In truth the ocean was warmer than the air. It wasn't long before his paws felt sand again and he pulled himself onto the shore.

So this was it, Ina'mos Island. This was the result of the volcano's eruption. Requiem shook out his fur, spraying salty water everywhere as he tried to chase away to coldness of the winter breeze. His lone eye took in the area, the sleeping saplings and dying grass. The land was more open than he would have liked, but their forms would be hard to see from the mainland so it was surely safer than remaining in the Chamoru Plains.

After several minutes of repetative shaking he turned to look towards the sea, wondering if the Arctic femme had followed him. She probably thought him crazy for charging into the water like that. Then again, she knew he wasn't of the most sound mind to begin with. The question was, did she trust him to find them a safe harbor? Neither one of them delt well with others, so it wouldn't be surprising if she didn't follow him in this crazy endeavor.

[eudoxia]

White legs kept moving, the dead deer long behind the two snow hued mammals. Things sure had flipped her thoughts since meeting the male who walked beside her. Before every male was horrible and mean, a thing to be avoided. He thought everyone was to be avoided at all costs, even if it cost him dinner. It had taken them awhile, but they had both finally settled down and now she was following the odd male down an unknown path.

Once the male began to pace, she allowed him to do so and took a chance to get a drink in the cold waters. Before she had drunk too much water, a heavy splash and growl greeted her ears. Neck snapped her heavy head up in the air and she twisted her head around to look. Requiem was in the water, swimming for something. She glanced ahead and saw the land mass he must of been going for. With a whine she paced a little in the shallows, not sure if she should follow him or not.

When he had already gotten a good head start, the female took the plunge. The cold water made her muscles tighten up and she gasped in major surprise. The water had not felt that cold on her paws. Her pace was slower in the sea than Req's had been so it took longer than he had to reach the island. Sometimes the water tried to suck her under because she wasn't working so hard in the water to get through. The salty spray bit at her eyes and the female closed her eyes, working harder to reach the sand once more.

The reason she was following was kind of unknown to her. It seemed crazy, but she had followed without much of a second thought. Finally sand was shoved between her toes and the female was able to pull herself up the bank. With her feet still in the shallows, she took a good shake, her whole body moving quickly and making droplets of the salty water fly around and dribble back into the sea. It made her thirsty more after drinking it, but at that time she hadn't been thinking and it had either been drink some in with air, or not get enough air into her lungs on the way over.

Instead of going over to the white male right away, she moved farther up the bank where some of the sand was still cool to warm instead of wet. Her paws slowly moved her wet body down to the earth and began to shove herself back and forth on her back. Finally the female paused and then moved back onto her belly before lifting herself back up into the air. Before moving over to the odd male she had followed, once more she shook, getting rid of some of the sand and a little more water.

Paws once more moved her, this time she moved towards the male standing on the sand as a shadow to the sky, which was growing dark. The female moved over to Req's side and nuzzled his shoulder, hoping her move wasn't too fast or out there for him. "Well, now what Requiem?" Dark eyes looked around the island, wondering what had made him take the plunge to make it over here to began with. With a gentle sigh her haunches moved to rest on the sand and she nudged his barrel again. Even though the male had a fake leg and only one eye, it no longer was brought to her attention really; it was him, nothing else.

ooc ;; I hope my post isn't to bad, I was getting tired of replies and this may not be what I wanted it to be. Sorry for the wait as well.

[requiem]

OoC: So sowry about this. I'm living in utter chaos right now. >.<

The feel of a soft nose pressed into his shoulder caused the male to shudder slightly. He hadn't been expecting the action, and it caught him offguard. He managed to recover quickly, however, and did not pull away from her gentle touch. Instead, he twisted to lightly nuzzle her back, his maw brushing against the soggy fur on her neck. It took a bit of courage on his part to even dare to show such affection in return, but there was something about Eudoxia that settled him and kept him from running in fear at the mere idea of contact with another wolf.

"I..." he began, but after a moment fell silent. What was next for them? He'd swam to the island on a whim. It was a place to escape, a sanctuary. Now that they were there, they were safe. Right? But what were they supposed to do? Judging by the scent of things there were no others wolves around. They were virtually on uncharted territory. This island was theirs for the taking; their secret hiding place. They could do whatever they pleased.

He sat down beside her, letting his lone eye twist about the surroundings. Finally, he found his voice as she nuzzled against him a second time. "I'm afraid I don't know what we do now. I just though things would be... safer, here. I suppose we could explore, find someplace to spend the night. The possibilities are endless."

He sighed, twisting his head to gaze out over the shoreline. Anikira seemed so far away despite it being so close. They were lost in their own little paradise. They were trapped only by their own haunting pasts. On the island that stretched out before them, they could do anything they wanted to do, be anything they wanted to be. The possibilities truly were endless. It was just a matter of deciding where to start.

[eudoxia]

Brown eyes looked at the male, just a few weeks ago she would of run quickly away, but had it not been for his actions of trying to hide from her, here they were now. They had just swam a wide expanse of water, well, Req had gone and she had followed. What was this between them? They were not mates, more than friends though...or maybe not even friends? No, they were at least an odd pair of friends, otherwise she would not of swam over to an island to be with a male wolf. When the male in question started to say something, but cut off after the first word, she stopped her thinking to lift her head and watch the male, wondering if he was going to say anything or not.

When he did finally speak, her gaze was on the gentle lapping waves. Everything seemed to peaceful for the time being. Things seemed to melt away and she closed her eyes, taking in the warm scent of Requiem. Time slipped back into the dark ages of her past though. With a whimper she pulled away from Requiem and walked over to the water and let her paw drag over the surface. The blood, the torn open belly, the life fading from his eyes as he slowly died under her gaze from the buck. What if that would happen again? The poor male behind her had already gone through so much and her young friend had just had started his life when it was taken away...

Dark eyes moved to the waves as she walked deeper, the water lapping at her stomach soon. The pull of need to go back finally won and the paws fought the water as she turned back. Finally she stood in front of Requiem, not totally sure how she had gotten there, but knowing she was there now. Head was low and tail tip resting on the sand with the unknown swirling through her head. "It may be safer here on the outside, but I don't know if I should stay... When I was just a yearling wolf I went out on my first hunt as a pack. A young male wolf of about two cycles died that night, his stomach ripped open with the antlers of an angry buck. I remained with him that night until his last shuttering breath left his bleeding body. I have never followed another with so much ease until now. I do not know if this is a good idea for me to remain here with you Requiem."

With that she sank, her mind sank into depression and her body sank to the floor of this pit she had dug herself. Long muzzle was held tight between two paws before she pushed it up against his leg while her heart swelled with anger at herself only. She was rejecting the only one who had been kind in so long. Well, trying to reject, she didn't want him to be hurt, but didn't want to go. A soft whimper was forced back with a swallow of air and dark brown eyes closed tightly. "I just feel that somehow you are going to be hurt through knowing me it seems and you have been through so much... I'm sorry..." Her last words were caught with a low whine of despair. What had started out so fine and comforting had turned into this because she had gone into her mind and lost herself.

[requiem]

His lone eye followed the slender form of the white female before him, watching as she followed the unheard call towards the sea. Still as stone he sat, expression slowly turning stoic the further into the waves she dared to trod. Something seemed to be pulling Eudoxia back to the mainland. What it was, he could not be sure. All he knew was that he would not stop her. It was her own choice if she stayed with him or not; her own life to lead. He would not force her into anything she did not want.

And yet, the farther the Arctic female waded in the waves the tighter his chest seemed to constrict. The emotion he felt was something that he could not explain, for once. He was Requiem, a creature who's life had taught him to analyze and explain away everything. And yet, this odd little ache in his heart had no reason behind it that he could see. Friendly contact with another canine was so foreign to him that he didn't realize the loss of Eudoxia meant the loss of a friend. The loss of his only friend... The loss of the one canine who saw him for who he was and not what he looked like, the first wolf he'd spent time with that hadn't hurt him. He didn't understand that Eudoxia leaving would end up hurting him in the long run. He didn't understand the sorts of emotional pains others could cause simply by showing them a little trust.

As she turned to come back, he couldn't help but sigh. He wasn't losing her just yet! He knew it was a selfish thought, but he couldn't help it. Like it or not he didn't want to let go of the one wolf who'd wormed her way into his heart on the most incomprehensible of levels. And as she stood before him, Requiem couldn't help but let one corner of his maw turn up in a half grin. It was an involuntary reaction, a reaction he knew was wrong given the posture of the soggy fae. At her words, his ears flattened, concern dancing in his lone, stormy grey orb. The grin on his lips was dropped quickly, and for the longest moment he just stared at her.

Death was the reason Eudoxia was so timid. Though, the story she told was nothing like his own. At such a young, tender age she had witnessed a grusome death and the memory of it had clearly done some psychological damage. As her nose pressed into his still fleshy forelimb, he dropped his head and nuzzled into the side of her neck. If there was one thing Requiem had learned in his time spent with the female, it was that touch could be as consoling as it was deadly.

But as the last words left Eudoxia's maw, he couldn't help but take a jerking step back from her. His expression was quizical, brow furrowed. Did she honestly think...? No... Rediculous! He tried to keep it in, but a short, gruff bark of a laugh rumbled in his throat. It had been so long since he'd last involuntarily laughed at anything. The sound was foreign to his own ears, and he winced as he realized what he'd done. Several minutes past before he finally shook his head, dropping down onto his stomach so that they could see eye to eye.

"There is no such thing as an easy life. It is most unfortunate, what you suffered at such a young age. But," he paused, making sure he had her full attention. "The dangers of the mainland are no different from the dangers lurking here. Unless you've done nothing but spin lies, which I highly doubt, your presence is the least of my worries. Either way, the choice to stay is yours and yours alone." Requiem halted his speech again, trying to convey what he meant with his eyes. As much as his gaze was sympathetic, there was a detachment there that was hard to miss.

She'd shown him trust, and now he was letting her see a dark corner of his mind that almost never saw the light of day. "You should not let your past control you. It will only keep you from embracing the future. Your friend was dealt a cruel hand by Lady Fate, but it was his time. Had he been meant to survive, he would have. Death works in strange ways. It always seems to come too soon, and yet no matter how much you pray for it, it remains elusive. We will all die when we are meant to, reguardless of who we socialize with. Until my purpose in life is served, I will continue to walk these lands. I have survived what I have because it is not yet my time, and whether or not you remain in my presence will not change that." Taking a breath, he finally let a soft smile curl his lips. What he was about to say was much less serious, but he truly believed it with all his heart. "I've never really had a friend before. Compared to everything else, death by companionship doesn't seem like such a bad way to go."

Tilting his broad head to one side, Requiem's gaze softened immensely. He made no move to get closer to her. Instead, he closely observed every expression she dared to let flicker in her eyes. He watched her body language as she digested the information he'd just bestowed upon her. How much of it she would actually comprehend, he did not know. He just hoped she would be able to realize the improbability of her thoughts. Of all the canines he had ever crossed paths with, Eudoxia was the least likely to ever do him harm. For some odd reason he wanted to believe that she never would, most likely thanks to the newfound emotions he still needed to study. But, reguardless of what he wanted to belive... The choice was still hers.

[eudoxia]

For some reason the laugh hurt. Ears pulled back flush against her skull as the female retreated a step, lips curling slightly. Maybe she was wrong and he was just like all the others after all. A whole flood of second guesses began to flood her mind, swirling into oblivion now as her brown eyes looked into his one, deep hurt plain on her face. She had spoken truth, the last male she had trusted died at the antlers of a buck, she didn't want something to happen to him as well, but with his laugh, she began to wonder. Had he been broken down too much to remain in this world?

When he dropped down and began speaking, she listened, but fresh distrust on her face. Every pause made her run over the whole speech he was making, but she still didn't know what to say. "You should not let your past control you. It will only keep you from embracing the future..." Fur rose a little at this as she watched the male, he made it sound so easy, like it could just be dropped in a hole and covered with fresh dirt. A low growl left her throat when he said that he would walk until his purpose was over. Did he not pay any attention to what he had said before to her? Was he just spinning lies before her that grew and changed when he thought she might of forgotten them?

Although the last bit he said healed the wounds slightly, she was still trembling with a mix of emotions. White paws pushed her up and back, her eyes showing betrayal and distrust as she swam in her mind, trying to find some solid truth, something solid to connect her teeth into and hold onto. Right now she was drowning in a pit of the unknown. Her brown eyes never moved from his frame, but she forced herself to speak as clearly and as strongly as she could. "My past has molded me into what you see before you today. Your past has done the same. From what you are saying I should fear nothing because my past should be forgotten, life lessons are just one day events to take up time." Her voice was growing as her emotions threatened to spill out onto the sand like her friend's blood had so long ago.

"So then I should gore myself on the antlers of a buck because his death means nothing, that you should trust humans, even the one who have killed you! Have you forgotten when me met because of a buck? How you tried to hide for fear I was going to harm you? You learned that fear in your past you old fool! Do not try and tell me not to let it control me because my past is me and I can choose to heed warnings or not!" Her rage drained away and she dropped her head, her brown eyes no longer steady on anything. White skull turned to face the waters behind her once more, her voice had dropped to a low whisper and full of sorrow.

"I tell you my fears and you laugh them off, you died and came back just to laugh at me. This must of been my reason for life, just to help you to speak up and feel a kind touch, even if just once. If I mean this little to you, then I will answer the call of the sea, I will walk until I must swim and when I can no longer swim, I will keep going until my soaked coat drags me under the waves and every breath grows harder. My lungs will burst for air and receive only water in response and when I can breath no more, I will close my eyes to the darkness of death. Unlike you there will be no saving grace to flood my body back with life, I will just wash up in a few days, my stomach bloated from death and my smell driving away all those near along with my patched coat that will show discolored skin through it..."

Nothing more came from her, she did not turn back to face the face she had thought she had liked, loved in a way. Her ears just moved with the wind and her whole body sagged with a weariness of her rage from before. Within her thin folds of covered skin was a white female, slowly loosing her will to live, no longer able to fight the crashing waves. With a mournful sigh, she sank to the ground. Words that may not of been heard by anyone but her slipped out. "I suffered through my life for nothing, all the pain, for nothing... The rage that did more damage inside, the blood spilled, most my own, all for nothing..." Muzzle shifted over her left paw as she looked out to the dancing water. It was trying to draw her in, making a way out...

[requiem]

Requiem had not been expecting the reaction he observed. He'd thought he'd spoken rather calmly, rationally. He was a philosophical male, always spinning mumbo-jumbo nonsense. It was rare that he ever warmed up to someone enough to share his odd philosophies, but when he did he never expected them to be met with vehemence. Eudoxia's reaction stung as painfully as when his leg had been torn from his body.

She only took a few steps away from him, but as the words began to tumble from her mouth he coward away from her in pure fright. She was angry, terribly angry, and all his experiences with anger had resulted in pain. His mind told him to flee, to run, to hide and turn invisible. He shrunk into himself, trying to make himself as small as possible as the emotion filling sentence after sentence struck like a fresh bite of fangs. She was not yet physically attacking like he had expected, like what had happened in the past, but this emotional attack seemed to hurt twice as much.

And because he was Requiem, at first he did not try and fight back. He never fought back. Instead, his body shut down and he just sat there, trembling as he curled into a tiny little ball. His lone eye never left her figure, but sheer panic was written across his face. He was absolutely terrified of her, and his brain would not let him form any defense. He was so accostumed to letting others simply have their way with him. As long as he endured the pain, it would all end sooner. Then he could limp away with his tail between his legs like he always did, licking his wounds in isolation.

But then her words turned from anger to self-loathing. This the white beast could not stand. His emotions were running haywire as she spoke of drowning, fear gripping his heart at the thought of losing her. Having her hurt him he could bear. He always got hurt. But... Listening as she spoke so calm and darkly of her own death was possibly the most painful thing he had ever endured. He had not meant to hurt her! He was Requiem, the giant Arctic brute with the frightening appearance and a spirit so kind he couldn't even bring himself to harm the fleas that bit him. In that moment he hated himself for what he'd done to the femme. Everything they'd acheived had been undone, and it was stupidly all his fault. He'd brought pain to another, and because it was his friend in the most awkward sense of the word friend, he didn't know how to fix it.

Silent tears pulled at his fur, staining the still drying strands. He was a broken lump of fur, useless. He was absolutely, positively useless. He'd hurt Eudoxia and he didn't know how to fix her, didn't know how to make her better... And in that moment the only thing he wanted to was make it better. He'd take her pain from her and endure it himself a thousand times over if he could. As much as she terrified him, she fascinated him too, and he did not want to be the reason for such an exquisit fae's death.

'Think, you idiot! What have you done? Help her... Don't let her hate herself...' The tears refused to stop as he finally forced himself from the ground. He had no choice. He had to try and put things right again. He'd never attempted such a feat before. Then again, he'd never cared about anyone before, especially not in the way he cared about her. Hopefully she would still listen to him, because Requiem was a dealer of words and a long winded explination of himself was all he could offer as defense.

"I suffered through my life for nothing, all the pain, for nothing... The rage that did more damage inside, the blood spilled, most my own, all for nothing..." His breathing hitched as he barely caught the words. He would have completely missed them had he not drawn up behind her. For a moment his body completely froze, and then he hastily continued on the path he'd started. Once again he found himself flopped on his stomach before her. This time though, his eye was pleading as his blurry, tear stained vision tried desperately to catch her brown orbs. No matter what, he would not let her hurt herself like this. 'It's better if she hurts me than hurts herself.'

"There's no such thing as nothing," he whispered quietly, fearful that if he spoke any louder his voice would crack. "Everything has purpose, reason, meaning. If your life was for naught, you wouldn't have a life to begin with." He fell silent for a few moments, trying to figure out how to continue. Instinct told him to touch her, to nuzzle her and never pull away. Fear told him that if he dared to do such a thing she'd surely bite his head off, and so long as he could get her to listen he didn't want that. His inner turmoil showed in his expression: auds pinned tightly agaisnt skull, lips curved down in a frown, and eye glistening with fresh tears that refused to stop.

"Eudoxia, please..." he begged. Yes, the brute was not above begging. He would do anything to try and set this right. He would do anything to restore her faith in him. He would do anything heal her the way she had begun to heal him. And if he failed... then not only would he lose her but he would lose himself as well. "Eudoxia... I... You... Ugh!" For once in his life the words were failing him and an almost almost inaudiable frustrated growl rumbled in his throat. He took a moment to compose himself and then tried again, desperately trying to keep the panic from his hushed tone as he pleaded with his gaze.

"I didn't mean things in that manner. The very last thing I want in this world is you dead. I'd sooner give my life for you than let that happen. I... Meh... Damnit! ... I meant that having you by my side would not be enough to kill me. Truthfully, I think watching you leave would do me more damage. And I never meant to hurt you. My entire life I have endured pain. I've never wanted to inflict any of that suffering upon anyone else. I said to not let your past control you, but I never said it was easy. You yourself pointed out that I have yet to fully escape my own. I just... I just meant... Grr... The past is not to be feared. It is to be embraced and learned from. In the long run it should make you stronger, even if for a while it turns you into nothing more than a cowering mess of fur. I've no way of knowing if I'm right. I only know myself, and you to a certain extent. I always thought the best way to survive with what happend to me was to isolate myself, trusting no one because others only meant more pain. Maybe I was wrong... I'm beginning to think so. I don't want to lose you..."

He broke off, his final words nothing more than a whisper. He was still crying, but he didn't care. He felt as if he had more to say, but he was coming up blank. He didn't know what to do. For the longest time he had only had to care for himself. Caring for himself wasn't such a hard thing to do. He would hunt and eat, and then find a shelter for the night. He would avoid others at all cost if possible. Now, however, he was honestly trying to take care of someone else and he had absolutely no clue what he was doing. For all he knew he was probably only making things worse. His ears drew closer to his skull, a pathetic whimper escaping his maw. Lord help him he was a sorry excuse for a brute, and for every minute of silence that passed he couldn't help but curse himself. Requiem had hurt Eudoxia, and he wasn't so sure he could ever forgive himself.

[eudoxia]

Even though her mind told her to back off when her eyes watched him ball up again, she had kept going. He had to know how much he had hurt her with just his voice. His one eye dug into her flesh, burning a hole right through the torn red walls and deep into her very being. It dug deep, leaving behind burs and torn muscle, but he had hurt her and needed to know it even though she was hurting herself as well. She had turned away by the time his emotions were running away from him and water soaked his pelt. Instead her dull brown eyes looked to the water.

The gentle waves called her name, telling her they could end it all and she wouldn't have to worry. She could return to her long lost friend, the one Req had dismissed so quickly as just her past. That male had been the only one she had ever loved, he had meant everything damn thing to her and he didn't care! Ears spun around to flatten on her skull as she caught the sound of the male wolf, stirring from the sand. Although she didn't believe he would attack, she had seen the fear in his eyes and was just waiting for his teeth to sink in, to taste victory that he never had, to kill this pain in his rump who had turned away from him.

His musty white frame came before her and laid in the sands, that was no surprise. He had thought himself hidden the first time she had even seen him, he was a coward around others. Dull eyes held nothing as she watched the male, her ears still pinned, but taking in what words he managed to say. "..If your life was for naught, you wouldn't have a life.." A low growl formed in her throat at this, some lives seemed just a toy, to be tossed around until their death. So far that was all her life had been, just to be the punching bag of wolves everywhere until she came to meet Req. Everything she had ever known was thrown into question and here she was thinking she had been right from the start not to trust him.

Muscles remained taunt as she waited, the time dragging by as she was swallowed into that single eye that bore so much and had seen so much. Brow furrowed as he begged her, only a raised lip and short growl was her response. Nothing he had said so far would make her forgive him, nothing could make her see the light of day. Her will was still sinking, she almost felt like telling him goodbye and swimming back. Maybe she could find another who would kill him for her and then end her own life so he wouldn't suffer through life anymore.

With a sigh she laid her muzzle back down, covering her teeth and keeping death hanging in the air instead of voice. Brown eyes turned out to the sea as she listened once more to what the male had to speak. "..Damnit!.." Her white head startled up into the air, her ears cocked forward as she stared at the male. She remained frozen in shock of his simple word as he went on, his words ringing through her mind. The lower tone of his voice helped to smooth some feathers, but she still felt ticked off with him. Finally after awhile she moved again, this time only her muzzle tilting down to look at Req cowering on the sand once more.

"Damn you Eudoxia. Knock it off, wolves die and you need to move on with your life. You are past the age of finding a mate and you have done nothing but mope!" The male had been yelling at her for awhile now, his muscles body heavy before his daughter, white fur spotless against the sky.

He had pushed her over the edge, muscles tensed up and she launched herself forward. Instead of in dirt, she dug into sand, throwing herself at Req, her throat wanting warm blood to drink. He had laughed at her, she had trusted him and was starting to like him and then he laughed about her fears! Paws hit the sand behind the laying male and she turned in on him, from the front he had that metal thing for a leg. Her teeth snapped at him just once, the image of others towering over her much in this same manner spooked the female and she leaped backwards, stumbling over her own paws.

She was no better than the ones who had hurt her or even the ones who had hurt Req. He had never fought back while she snapped. "Dear Creator...what have I become?" Words melted into the slight wind as she stood there, her whole body cold and shivering. Paws moved her back, towards the sea. Her whole body sagged with fatigue and the long muzzle dragged through the sand as she whispered the same words over and over to herself. In the shallow waters she turned around, her whole body dropped into the water, she didn't know what to do. She feared going back to Req and feared the land on which she had trod. The sea was no comfort either, the waves had gotten rougher and now slammed into her with more force than before, even the sea hated what she had done..If only she could go back and change what she had just did, she had tried to harm the one closest to a friend she had in all of her life...

[requiem]

Her dead expression as he talked was surprisingly painful. It was as if she detested the very sight of him, was no different from all the others that had waltzed in and out of his life. And when her lips curled back in a sneering growl his entire body trembled with fear. Eudoxia was angry. She was angry and he was much too close. She would attack, further kick him when he was already down, and then walk away without a care in the world. She'd take out her frustrations on him, probably enjoy doing it, and then dissapear into the night like all the others had. She'd forget him, leave him lying there, broken, and their paths would probably never cross again. She was just like all the others.

No... Eudoxia was worse than all of them. The wolves of his past had never dared to develop friendship with him first. His cowardly nature was just conveninet. They could have their way with him just for the heck of it and then dissapear as if it'd never had happened. They rarely ever gave names, and he couldn't be bothered to remember commonplace faces. They had all morphed together into one generic wolf, a heartless creature looking for either sick kicks and giggles or a way to release emotions bottled too long.

Yes, Eudoxia was worse than all that. She had a face and a name that would forever be ingrained in his memory. The pain she would cause would not be simply physical; it would be emotional too. There would be only one face from his past he'd find more detestable than hers, and that would be the face of his killer. Eudoxia would at least be kind enough to let him keep his life, right?

A little ways into his speech the Arctic female did seem to simmer down a bit. This gave Requiem a bit of hope. Her expression seemed more lost than anything, though. He couldn't even be sure she was still listening to him. If she heard his words she made no indication. She held within her little to no reactions at all. He had desperately begged her and received no indication of if what he said changed anything or not. He was pleading with an impassive statue... A statue with the ability to snap at any moment, as he soon learned.

Without warning Eudoxia sprang. He watched in pure terror as she lunged for him, landing in the sand behind him. Sharp fangs glistened in the evening light, snapping much too close to him for comfort. She stood over him, snarling, intimidating, haunting. And, he did nothing to stop her. He did nothing to defend himself. He did nothing to try and help her.

Requiem had been in many a situation like this before. Well, not exatly like this one for this was the only one that involved his heart as well. There had been many a time others had towered over him, though. Even with his large size they had little trouble standing over him, dangerous eyes boring into his very soul. Much like all those times, he reacted as he always did. A pitiful whimper escaped his maw, fear the only emotion evident in his eye, his expression, his body language. He was absolutely terrified of white femme. And worst of all, her actions had officially negated everything they had built over the last stretch of time. After his original, stupid actions there had been little hope. Now he could find none at all.

He did not see her as she suddenly jumpped back, losing herself to further misery. He did not see her lie in the waves, letting the current have its way with her. He didn't see her regret. He wouldn't see her regret. All he saw was fear and darkness, a darkness brought on by the closing of his lone good eye. A darkness that he was hoping would completely erase him from her view as it erased her from his.

Req curled himself into the smallest, tinyest, trembling ball of fur he could muster. His snout was tucked into his side and under his forepaws, eye shut so tightly it hurt. His tail was curled tightly around his frame, blending in nicely with the rest of his dirty pelt. His rear legs settled beneath him, paws hidden from view, and his naturally tall auds pinned themselves against his skull, refusing to be seen. If he stayed like that long enough then maybe the wind would burry him in sand. If not, he was still convinced that by hiding from himself he was indirectly hiding from the world. He was convinced he was invisible again, nothing more than a useless lump of fur waiting to be beaten further into the ground.

This was all on Eudoxia's shoulders now. There was nothing he could do to fix it, fix them. He'd tried. He'd given it his best shot, as awkward as it may have been. But his best was never good enough. Trying too hard meant failure. It was best to just exist, doing only what it took to survive, and let fate take its course. Any trust Requiem had had for others, any hope that maybe there was some innate good within the world, had been completely shattered. It was doubtful he'd ever trust another again. The strictly physical pain had always been easy enough to deal with. Eudoxia had shown him emotional pain as well though. Thanks to her, he could not, would not trust others. He could not, would trust in faes. He could not, would not even place trust in those who held the same breed as him. In a way she'd ruined him more than that dreadful laboratory ever had. And now... Now they were both sinking fast with no hope for the future. The secrets of the heart were the most dangerous of all.

[eudoxia]

While the water hit, she tried to find some reason to stand, to live longer. Nothing was stirring her to life, she had crushed him, Req was curled up because of her. If wolves were able to bawl, that is what she would of been doing. Tears would of flooded a creek into a river all for the poor broken soul she had crushed with one snap of her jaws. The jaws that killed prey to live had done damage that she didn't want to inflict. "I have turned to the keeper..why dear creator did you not throw me into the sea as a puppy!" She cried out for the gulls to hear, her will broken because of her actions and not knowing how to make it right. Finally after dead silence for what seemed like hours, the female did the only thing she could think of.

Paws dragged her soaked frame up, instead of allowing the water to draw her in, she moved to the wolf, curled tight, his fear holding him to the spot. Before approaching, she shook some of the water out and moved to the ball of fur. Thousands of pounds drew her body back and she fought the heavy air with every step, her whole frame sagging and tail tucked tight between her legs as she just about crawled over to the male who had grown to trust and then shattered. His lone eye swam in her mind, that fear when she touched him the first time, the comfort of holding him close as they both just allowed their past to melt away for just a little bit...

A soft whimper left the female as she laid right next to him, her coat mingling with his as she pressed against him, her muzzle trying to pry him out of his ball as she whimpered softly. She didn't want to scare him further so she gave up quickly and just spoke to the ball of fur. Emotions flooded her like a driving rain fills an empty bucket and spilled over through her mouth, her brown eyes pleading, begging for another chance. "Requiem...Please, I beg you, just look at me. I'm sorry, I acted through my past as you are doing now, please come back to me... Dear creator why have I do so..." Her words grew to a whisper towards the end.

The female gently nuzzled the male and licked his skin, but moved away to where she had stood before and carefully laid down. Her body lurched to the side and she held herself on her back, exposing herself for the world to destroy. "I ask just one thing from you my dear Requiem, take your fear out, channel it into your jaws and remove me from this world. Send me into the fire pit with the keeper for I do not deserve to remain here anymore. For such a monster as myself to remain would mean you will be shattered forever. I want you to fight back, use your teeth, that is all I ask. For me to live would mean for you to die because you trusted a monster. If I die then at least you will have your revenge and may one day no longer fear others. Please...just kill me Requiem. I wouldn't be able to live with myself because of what I did and so please just take me and then the sea will not have another demon..."

She remained still, her heart beating slowly as she hoped for him to destroy the being he had trusted. She had brought his history back to life, but instead of saving his life like the man who allowed him to live, she destroyed it with the only thing he had left, his mind. By destroying trust, she killed his mind, or that is what she thought. The female laid still, her eyes closing and picturing his white frame standing over hers, his jaws pulling apart and the hurt building. Teeth descending and pressing in on the vein that kept her alive. Fear flooding her mind, but hate for herself holding herself still as he crushed her life and the only solace would be knowing he could channel his fear outward finally and hopefully would no longer ball up, but grow defensive and never let a monster near him again. A silent tear rolled down, or rather, up her face and dropped to the sand as she waited.

[requiem]

Desperate, pleading words fell on deaf ears. Requiem would have none of it. She hadn't listened to him. It was only polite he return the favor and not listen to her. He wanted nothing to do with her. His mind screamed for Eudoxia to just go away. Go away and leave him alone. Never come back. Of course, he vocalized none of this. If he tried, his voice would have failed him anyway.

The moment her body pressed against his he wanted to jerk away. He wanted to get up and jump away. And he wanted to scream at her. 'GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T TOUCH ME!' The words echoed in his mind, heard only by him himself. His fear of the Arctic female was stronger than his will to forcibly remove himself from her side. Instead, his body tensed ever so slightly more as he further retreated into himself. Hopefully she would get the picture and leave of her own accord. It would spare them both an extra bit of pain.

She did finally get up, and the Arctic brute relaxed slightly. Eud didn't go far though. The next thing he knew her toungue was caressing his skin as she nuzzled into him. Requiem froze. His body went completely tense and then froze. He even stopped breathing. What the hell was she doing? Why wouldn't she just leave him alone? Hello! Requiem is not here right now. Go away! She didn't though. At least, not immediately.

As Eudoxia finally pulled away for good Requiem began to breath again. His entire back rose as he took in a large breath of much needed air, only to rapidly fall on the exhale. He was trembling slightly, fighting the urge to whimper softly. All he wanted was to be left alone. It was once again clear to him that others meant pain. Eudoxia should go back to the mainland. He... Requiem would remain on the island. It would be his sanctuary from everything, even the Arctic female.

But then she had to go and ask that question. He'd been trying to ignore her. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. And still she had the nerve to ask. "Please...just kill me Requiem." How dare she? How dare she!? How dare she ask that of him!? She honestly thought, that after everything he'd told her, that he would have the nerve to take someone's life? Not only that, but she thought he could take the life of someone his heart cared about despite what his mind believed?

In a matter of moments he was up on his feet. The sand crunched beneath his metal leg, his strides angry and fearful all at once. He was in a wild panic by the time he reached her side, lone grey eye boring into her's. The only readable emotion in his expression was fear. Pure. Raw. Fear. His ears were pinned down, tail tucked between hind legs in panic. Had she really just asked him such a question? Did she really think he would comply?

"Don't be stupid!" he barked out with more force than he'd intended. It was more force than he even knew he'd posessed. His voice was hoarse, breathing labored as he searched her espression for any sort of a sick joke. "Don't... Don't be stupid," he repeated again. This time though, it was much softer. There was concern in his voice, and so much raw, unidentifiable emotion they could probably drown in it. Requiem would never wish death on anyone, not even her. As he had said, he'd sooner give his own life than watch Eudoxia lose hers, even with everything that had just transpired. And he would never, ever take a life himself. There was no way in hell he could possibly carry out her request.

"Don't be stupid." The phrase fell from his lips again, nothing more than a whisper. And then he collapsed in the sand next to her, utterly exhausted. He had experienced so many rapid emotional changes in such a brief period of time that he had nothing left in him. He was totally spent. He needed to sleep. He wouldn't though, not quite yet. Instead, he lifted his head and gently pressed his nose into Eud's neck, a soft whimper escaping him. "Don't be stupid," he whispered one last time, eye pleading with hers in one final attempt at forgiveness.

[eudoxia]

She could hear him striding over rather quickly and with force. Despite herself, she cringed a little, but remained on her back, able to killed with just one stroke. "Don't be stupid!" Brown orbs flew open and she looked up at him and her whimper was drowned out by herself to try and not let him see that she didn't want to die, but knew no other way. Death was the only way she could see out of the mess she had created. His one eye was looking at her, but remained dead set on what she believed to be the only way, she had hurt him and there was no excuse for such behavior. "Please Req..." Her words were just soft mumble, mostly just her jaws moving and her eyes begging.

Sure she knew what she had asked would be something against his very core nature, but she was just hoping... The living white corpse remained still as he collapsed onto the sand, worry spread through the female as she looked at the male. He was so tired... His skull lifted up and moved closer, but his teeth did not sink into her skin, he just pressed his nose into her wet fur and begged her. With a tired sigh the female rolled onto her side next to him, her muzzle tucking itself up under his as she closed her eyes and spoke softly. "I wish you had just ended it, but you will not..." Pink tongue swiped under his muzzle before she went on, feeling compelled to explain a little more.

"You are not the only one... I have attacked another before you. After loosing my friend to the buck, I lost my mind to myself and turned against anyone who came here. My sister was killed because she was barren and my other found a kind mate. Pretty soon I was getting pressured by my father to find a nice mate and settle down with him. He kept putting on the pressure and I just snapped, I was out for his blood. No matter what he did, I didn't let up, I can still hear him begging me to stop and end the madness. I didn't, at the end, I had a broken paw and deep wounds. That was the last time anyone had any kindness on me, until you... I'm sorry Requiem. If you hadn't told me...of your past I don't think I would of stopped, I would of ripped your hide apart, that is why I begged for your mercy in death..."

Now she was silent, her white frame was tucked close to his and her brown eyes were turned inland with a sad look in the brown orbs. A flash of light grey and white caught her eyes and the female lifted her head, tilting her ears forward as she heard some movement in the trees. The female glanced over at Req, not sure if he had seen or heard the other creature. Paws moved the female quickly to her paws when she spotted a head sticking out of the trees. It looked just like the male she had remained with through his dieing hours. Although she felt that she should say something to Req, the female started walking, her brown eyes on where the head had been just a few seconds ago.

Once she reached the place the male had been, she searched for any means of life. Not a single trace of life was in this area. Not a faint scent, paw prints, or even crushed leaves was in the bushes. With a confused look to her face, the female looked around again, still nothing. The lights were dimming, but the sky was still the same. Her head lifted up and she blinked a few times. Every time her eyelids took a bit to reopen. Paws shifted her around, moving back to the white male, her legs felt like sand was in her joints.

As she moved closer, she had to labor just to move a single paw and keep her heavy head from dragging in the sand. Finally the female flopped down in the sand with a heaving sigh. Neck muscles shoved her head closer to the male and her nose touched the cold metal through the fake fur as the female's brown eyes meet black. It wasn't death, but forced sleep, she had seen it in Req's eye, but had not known hers had mirrored his own. Now her body swelled and shrank gently with breathing as she quickly slipped into a deeper sleep that normal for that short period of time.

[requiem]

He grunted as she finally rolled over, tucking herself into his side. On some level he had gotten through to her, and she accepted the fact that he would not end her life. The light caress of her tongue shocked him just enough to temporailly keep his eyes from closing. Instead, the lone optic searched her face as she felt compelled to further explain herself to him.

"You are not the only one... I have attacked another before you. After loosing my friend to the buck, I lost my mind to myself and turned against anyone who came here. My sister was killed because she was barren and my other found a kind mate. Pretty soon I was getting pressured by my father to find a nice mate and settle down with him. He kept putting on the pressure and I just snapped, I was out for his blood. No matter what he did, I didn't let up, I can still hear him begging me to stop and end the madness. I didn't, at the end, I had a broken paw and deep wounds. That was the last time anyone had any kindness on me, until you... I'm sorry Requiem. If you hadn't told me...of your past I don't think I would of stopped, I would of ripped your hide apart, that is why I begged for your mercy in death..."

His brow furrowed at her words, her voice just loud enough to keep him awake and tone disconcerting enough to make him pay attention. She viewed herself as a cold blooded killer because of taken one life? That was the reason she had begged him to kill her? That's the reason she'd tried to turn him into a killer as well?

Sighing, the Arctic brute forced himself to lift his head. He turned so that he was staring directly at her, the concern not absent from his lone eye. "You would not have been the first," he replied solemnly. "What makes you different is that you were able to stop."

As she rose to all fours he sighed again, not having the energy to question or follow her. His head fell back on top of his paws, eyelids drifting closed. He struggled to stay just awake enough to figure out what his only friend was doing, but Requiem was losing conscious quickly. His auds pricked and swiveled, daring to catch her footsteps crunching in the sand as she drifted away from him. The darkness clouding his vision was quickly turning off his mind though, a much needed REM cycle dying to be induced.

By the time Eudoxia returned to his side and settled down, the large white male was already asleep. He was too drained emotionally to ward off his physial fatigue. As a result, he'd fallen into a dark, dreamless, heavy sleep. It'd been a while since he'd last slept so soundly, and it was something he very much needed. Hopefully when daylight struck a good night's rest in the sand would have been enough to recover them both.

[adelphi]

The salt water seemed to turn every hair into double the amount of weight it began as. Dragging her coat in a downward motion toward the ground, Adelphi struggled to wade herself through the last shallows of the icy water. The liquid had seeped deep into her skin, droplets of murky colouring dribbling off the long soft onyx hair. Digging her claws into the gritty sand, the fae took a deep shaky breath. The water seemed to have frozen her lungs into tight heavy stones, or so it felt. Climbing out of reach of the small lapping waves, Del viciously shook herself free of the chilling blanket of wetness. Sending buckets of water in hundreds of different directions, Adelphi collapsed tiredly onto the ground. Water still clung to her coat, as warily she licked some odd weed type plant off her front feet.

Drowsiness stung the back of her bright blue eyes, as the pretty young wolf stumbled back to her feet. She couldn’t let herself fall asleep. Not yet.
Shaking again to rid herself of the itchy salt droplets,
Del let a pink tongue quickly slide from her muzzle to wash her face.

A heavy sigh fell from her throat, as the graceful wolf began to move from the sands.
The sky had darkened greatly since she had begun the swim, now leaving the cold breezes to deal to her exposed body. It was highly likely she would get a cold from this, but all that had mattered when she first started off in the water, was making it to the other side.

Adelphi let her head droop slightly, too tired to be bothered to hold it upright. Her nostrils quivered as the odd smells wafted through her senses, yet the dog had no intention of trying to seek out what it was. She had no intention of anything at the moment really, except sleep.
Her vision clouded slightly, with the mental block of tiredness. Salt and water had built up on the fur around her eyes also, weighing down her eyelids and making it harder to see.

From what was visible, the land looked pretty empty. No signs of life, at all. It was slightly more open than Dell had hoped, but it was still better than where she had been.
A low grumble echoed from her hollow stomach, as the she-wolf slowly sat to her haunches. She hadn’t eaten all day, except for the mountains of insects, salt and weed she has swallowed on the way over.
Blinking quietly, she shook her head, rubbing it irritably against her leg. Itches stung all over her body, as she stopped to nibble quickly on her soppy shoulder.

As much as she couldn’t be bothered, Adelphi knew she had to start hunting. It was a good time, the sky dulling slightly. Many weird creatures would be out scavenging, like Adelphi was herself.
Struggling to stand once more, Adelphi set off along the beach line. Paws padding rather loudly against the wet sand, she yawned warily.

It almost knocked the young wolf over when she felt something wet and soggy under her paws.
She had nearly fallen asleep walking down the shoreline, the darkness and silence all working against her will to stay awake.
Jumping backwards with a sharp yelp, Adelphi’s eyes widened.
Two creamy coloured wolves lay on the ground, chests serenely rising in falling rhythmically with each other.

“I’m…I ...I Didn’t..I’m sorry..I…”

Backing her frozen legs as fast as she could manage, Adelphi briskly turned to run. Her breaths quickened as she stumbled fully over a stick. Instinctively swinging her soft head about, her fangs sung deep into the wet bark of the rotting stick. She growled lowly, jumping back away from the stick toward the wolves. Bighting her lip, Adelphi felt her weak legs beginning to crumble with the horrible mixture of fright, shock, regret and lack of sleep.


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[eudoxia]

The rest seemed to short for the time her eyes were closed. It seemed like she had just shut her eyes when a yelp brought her back to the land of the living. All her joints were filled with sand and her mind was still on doze when she lifted her head and blinked a few times to figure out what was going on. Words fell from the other wolves mouth and Eud stretched and tried to raise on her tired limbs. Every muscle was still tired from last night, it had been one long day.

The stress of the day before had lifted though, thankfully. Of course now there was a whole new set of problems as the other wolf stumbled backwards and tripped over a stick. Another wolf here? The white female bolted awake and shoved herself up onto her paws quickly and did a few circles, looking around wildly. Where there was one, there was most likely more. Dark eyes looked over everything and she accidently stepped on Req, but moved off quickly. Or at least she thought she had stepped on him, otherwise it had been something in the sand.

When she finally spotted no other wolves, the female turned back to attempt and address the other wolf, but it was gone. "Not again!" Eud moaned while rolling her eyes. Had she thought there was a wolf there when in truth no wolf had stood there? Last night it had happened, did it happen again? Carefully she picked herself back up, once more tired and worn out, and headed over. The sand was torn up where the other wolf had wandered and then backed up onto to trip. Although she wasn't sure where the other wolf had gone, she was not about to go and find out.

A low whine left her muzzle as she moved back over to where she had slept. She had already been through more than she had alone. Dark eyes focused on the white brute who was close by. She cared about him, but still couldn't help but feel like she had betrayed him the day before. It had just been a simple laugh, but that one vocal had hurt. With a swollow, she laid back down and closed her eyes, forcing those feelings to go away again. It was over and done with anyway.